Heartache (3)

"I don't want to hurt Iris, she's my friend."

"I don't want to hurt Iris, she's my friend."

Friend

Friend

Friend

The word friend kept ringing in my head. It was like a curse, continuously bugging me in every direction. And I feel stuffy inside.

I turned my head to see the father and son yet all I see was snow falling over the open space. That's right, snow. I did not remember when it snowed. I don't even remember when I left the back garden. All I know was how my chest felt heavy. It hurts. Like there were gallons of water enclosed. Drowning me and my heart.

Looking closely, I see faint footprints on the ground. It closely resembled my shoe print. 'So that's where I was,' I thought.

Taking a deep breath, I moved to the opposite direction. My head throbbed in pain as I walk. It started weakly, but it gradually came strong. I stopped on my tracks and massaged my temples.

"Hey"

I heard a voice from a distance. As a normal person, I looked over where the voice was. There was a dense white fog on my view. It was weird since it only started to snow. After looking for a while, the fog slowly dissipated.

And unexpectedly, just like a dream, there was a child wearing a red trench coat with a hood and black socks and shoes, a girl most probably age between six and eighth busily rubbed her eyes then look at the playing children and then blink her eyes. She repeated it until her eyes felt sore.

"Are you okay? Are you crying?" A voice called her attention. She turned around and saw a boy older than her in a red long hooded coat that covers up to his knees. He had a beautiful face and a nice voice.

The girl shook her head in response.

"Oh, here?" The boy said extending a pack of chocolate. The girl once again shook her head and run away. She remembered the term stranger danger.

The boy sighed, it was unknown if he was sulking or relieved as he muttered, "Good, I really like this brand." then left.

The girl slipped while running and as she helped herself up, there was a hand extended in front of her. It was a boy wearing a moss green padded jacket. "Need help?" He asked smiling. Unlike before, she accepted the stranger's help.

The scene changed, and it was once more in winter. The girl grew up and in the middle of packing her things as she embraces winter break. It was the last day of school and she came back inside their classroom to get a few books she needed. Walking outside, she saw the Vice principal touring guests. Beside him was an adult with a handsome yet stern face and walking along after them were a pair of brothers.

The scene changed once again, and I now acquainted her with the brothers. Most often, she'll be alone with the younger of the brothers. He was attentive to her. She was the most comfortable around him.

"You said, you met me even before we transferred?"

The girl nodded. With her sweet voice, she said, "It was winter, I slipped on ice and an older boy helped me. It was you."

Unbelieving, the boy asked, "How d'you know it was me?"

The girl smiled answering, "It was your moss coloured padded jacket. You're wearing it the day you applied for a transfer. Remember? It was the Vice principal who toured you."

"Ah!" the boy exclaimed in remembrance. He had forgotten the first memory with her but he remembered his day of transfer.

Two years later, their company of two became three. Their new friend was a lovely girl. She's always been a sweet speaker, and she soon became best friends with them. Every day, they hang out. Their peals of laughter reverberate through the campus. It was a picturesque scene that one wanted to keep in memory.

And as time goes, their friendship stayed. They did everything together. Watching movies, going to the mall and travelling abroad, they walk hand in hand.

And the little girl wearing a red trench coat one winter afternoon grew and admire. Yes, her feelings for the boy wearing a moss coloured padded jacket blossomed into love. She trusted and loved.

Waves of emotions flowed on me. It was then I noticed something strange. Those images flashing through the open air, beginning from how little Iris met the Wang brothers, becoming best friends with Lily until that day where the police took Lily away... was in fact, this body's memory.

A headache I was having before continued to persist. There was also a sharp pain over my chest. Like there were needles pricking my heart in every direction. And there was a hot liquid dropping on my cheeks down to my neck.

I cried.

I kept crying with a hand over my chest.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

Feeling weak on the knees, I kneeled and sobbed with no sound. I can't describe the feeling I'm feeling right now. All I know was, I am hurting.

I didn't know until when I've cried but I did it until I felt satisfied. When I felt I puffed my eyes and shed tears with snot that is where my sanity came back and tried to calm myself down. Most importantly, I am in other people's backyard.

But thinking of stopping my tears and doing it was a different thing. I had to empty my thoughts and steel my heart while taking small breaths through my mouth. When I was expecting to get better, I sneezed followed by a series of coughs.

Was this body too frail to withstand the icy temperature out? I got annoyed. I stood up and felt something warm over my shoulders. It was an overcoat draped to cover me from winter's chill.

Turning my head, I saw Mr. Yi standing three meters away from me. He was blowing a cloud of smoke with a cigarette between his fingers.

F*ck.