Brokenhearted

The girl I looked at, was the splitting image of her.

Her hair was short brown and her eyes amber.

She had the same straight nose, same thin, rose-red lips and same guiltless cheeks.

I reached my trembling hands towards her.

"Is that you Estella," I asked thoughtlessly, when I knew the answer already.

Her reply confirmed my assumption, "I am her twin sister, Celestia."

Unlike Estella, who had that constant innocent and easygoing nature, this girl seemed a bit frosty. I remembered clearly how Estella was always smiling and fidgeting around, but the current girl was not.

Most importantly, I did not smell the sweet almond scent that she used to carry.

I slumped down, a bit dissapointed, and answered, "I see."

Ultimately, Estella was still dead.

No, I vigorously shook my head to avoid these thoughts.

"You look so much like her," I told her and sighed.

"I hear that a lot," she answered bluntly, and placed the tray on the table.

I waited for her to set up the silver plates and the basket full of bread. Not until she was done, did I sit down.

"Why don't you join me," I invited her.

Her eyes flashed slightly, and she answered, "no, I couldn't possibly."

I pointed towards the space opposite to me and said, "please, I insist."

She stared at me in confusion, but decided to to take me up on my offer. She reached out for a chair and sat down softly.

Her hands laid modestly folded on her lap, with her fingers close together. After taking a seat, she stopped moving entirely, as if awaiting further commands.

I did not tell her to do anything and just took a piece of bread and stuffed it in my mouth.

Whether the bread tasted good or bad, it did not register in my head.

The meat which was slowly cooling, I did not even touch.

The whole time, I kept looking at Estella's sister, Celestia, in a daze. What kind of expression I was making, I did not know.

In the end, it was her that broke the uncomfortable silence, "excuse me, I heard when you left the capital, you were accompanied by a group, but when you arrived, you were alone, right?"

I stopped eating and replied, "how did you know?"

Celestia groaned, "my silly sister insists on writing me a letter every week. She had told me a lot about you in them, I hope you don't mind. I assure you, it was only good things."

"Such as?"

She smiled slighty and said, "she told me how we were both similar," but immediately corrected herself, "oh, I apologize, that was rude of me."

"No, I chuckled, "I can see were she's coming from."

Celestia sighed in relief and then continued "recently, she had also told me about how you two became acquainted with each other. Geez that girl, I was able to feel her cheerfullness through the letter, even though I told her to keep her emotions in check."

A picture of the childish Estella appeared in my mind, giving me the urge to giggle.

"She does have a unique way of living."

"But truth be told, I don't hate that about her," Celestia said.

She tried to resist her mouth from curling upwards, but did not manage to do so. Her fingers were tightly intertwined and she hid her smile behind them while facing downwards.

I felt an unspeakable emotion well up deep inside me, as I witnessed her behavior.

"I thought you were opposed to her being like that."

"I still am," she told me, "that brightness of hers will only cause her to burn down one day, but these faults, it's what makes her her, I guess."

I absentmindedly looked into the distance, "that is true."

Celestia began twirling her hair while following my gaze.

"would you be willing to listen this story of mine?"

I did not expect her question and answered, "of course, you can tell me anything."

She nodded once, "as you may know, Estella and I were just ordinary commoners. Alright, we still are, but the situation is a lot different now. The times we lived, not as a servant, but as a nobody were a lot harsher," she shuddered, "even though we were only born twelve minutes apart, I took the role as the big sister, while Estella the smaller one. It was a natural decision to survive in the slums."

"She had told me."

Celestias eyebrow curved downwards, but her smile did not fade, "we lived everyday not knowing whether there would be a tomorrow. Theft, kidnapping, assault and murder, that is what we were surrounded by. Living without a roof and only rugs, we were no different from the stray animals that were walking on the streets. In such an environment she actually managed to develop such a personality. Isn't she peculiar," she laughed, "I thus took the burden of surviving for both of us, so that she did not have to, as I wanted her to live freely."

"I see. Still, there's one thing I don't get," I rested my head on my palms, "why did you leave her then?"

She looked crestfallen, "a light such as her would invite unwanted flies."

She suddenly stood up and slowly lifted her maid uniform, revealing her pearly-white, long legs.

She lifted her dress higher, exposing her black underwear. Still, she did not stop until I was able to see her flat stomach and small navel.

Within that ephemeral picture she showed me, there was a scar that was particularly jarring. It was unlike the rest of her figure, that looked like a sculpture. The scar originated from her abdomen, branching out into different directions, as if it was invading her body.

Like I was possessed, I felt my hands drawn towards it, and before I realized, I stroked it.

She trembled a bit, but did not stop me.

"When we were still working together, Estella caught the eyes of a well-known baron. The baron immediately fell in love with her. Of course, Estella didn't know. I hid it from her," I heard her voice turning rougher, "As if I would let my sister be some plaything for an aristocrat."

The wound felt rough, contrasting her supple skin.

"I cut my hair, I switched my diet and I changed my behavior, all to imitate Estella's. In the end, I was able to trade places with her," she grabbed my hands, "the first night, he already called me to his room and started undressing me. His lascivious gaze fell upon me as my whole body was laid bare. He licked his lips and started massaging my breasts. Slowly, he took of his robe exposing himself to me. He ordered me to start sucking, so I put it in my mouth, filling my jaw. As his pleasure reached his highest," she abruptly pulled her dress down, "I bit it off."

Ugh, I felt a shiver down my spine.

"In a fit of rage, he beat me with a glass bottle until it broke, and in the end stabbed me right in my pelvis and twisted it, causing the shards to logde themselves into my flesh. Eventually it healed, but it left such a huge scar, making me undesirable to anyone," she shrugged her shoulder, "and even if there was someone crazy enough to want me, I had already lost the ability to bear children due to that," Celestia said casually.

There was a silence between us. It was not like I hadn't heard her. I just didn't know how to react.

"Why did you tell me this?"

"Who knows? I just felt like it. There was no person I could confide in, so I simply took my chances," she pointed at me, "and I had a feeling that you will tell me something too."

I bit my lips and couldn't meet her face. Her unwavering conviction made me feel a sense of shame. She didn't mind though and only quietly waited for me to start on my own.

It took a bit of effort, but I finally opened my mouth, "on our road towards the D'Anele territory, we were ambushed by a group of bandits," I paused for a moment, "I killed every last of them, but that was about it." I stopped talking.

Her shoulders dropped down and her face drained of all color.

"Thought so," she said feebly, with a tone that sounded like she had a lump in her throat.

I was expecting many different kind of reactions, but this was not one of them.

"Why?"

Her eyes closed and she gave it her best attempt to smile, "she didn't send me a letter this week," she said.

A heart-wrenching pain assaulted me as I saw the girl trying to stay strong.

"sorry," was the only thing I was able to mutter, "I am sorry," I repeated.

She lightly shook her head, "No, I'm sure she died happy, with you by her side," she tightly grasped her hands, leaving claw marks on her arms, "I am glad that her last moments was with the person she loved, instead of a useless sister as me."

I was at a loss for words. Even though talking was what I was supposed to be good at. The suffocating feeling made me unable to comfort her.

She held her breath and her expression showed no signs of changing.

"It is alright if you want to cry," I assured her.

She flinched and said, "my tears have already dried. Ever since our father left for another woman and our mother sold us off, I had sealed off all my emotions."

It was bizarre, how such sad words could come out of such a young girl.

I reached out to stroke her head, but I hesitated. After all, I had no right to do so. In the end, I stood up and searched for the makeshift pouch I brought back.

Meanwhile, I began rambling, "I had met Estella right before I met the king. Still, it was her that left a deeper impression on me. I was truly curious, why a girl such as her would be interested in someone like me. We talked about many different things and I was surprised by how receptive she was. However the sharp knife of death cut our conversation short. Merely three days, that's all we had," I placed the pouch on the table, causing the glass of milk to shake, "I will tell you the truth, I did not know a lot about her," I removed the cloth, revealing the lovely jade skull and announced with confidence, "but I did know that she loved her sister."

Celestias eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with her hands. Her eyes glistened in the morning sun.

I leaned forward, so I was able to encase the skull with my body, "you may not be able to tell anymore, but," I drew a curve around the teeth with my fingers, "she left with a smile. And the last thing we talked about was you."

She twisted around the chair, almost falling off, but refused to say anything.

I pleaded with a slight smile, "so would you please forgive yourself?"

She curled up, hiding her head. She did not make any noise, but I saw her back twitching. The sound of water dripping on the floor was the only thing I heard. She moved her arms around her eyes trying to brush something aside, but it looked like no matter how hard she tried, it kept returning.

I stood up and hugged her. Her face was buried in my neck and drenched my new dress. I gently stroked her head, but she showed no signs of stopping. Now that she was so close, I heard her whimpering and her occasional sniffing reverberated in my ear drums. She clung herself to me and sunk her nails deep into my skin.

"Thank you for all the work, you can rest now," I whispered.

She began crying audibly, and choked up every time she gasped for breath. I felt her chin tremble due to her lack of air. Her sounds was akin to wailing as her throat refused to let out any noise. Her chest was rising rapidly, and her hiccups were like little jabs hitting my heartstrings. I massaged her back to stop her from hyperventilating, while she sobbed on my shoulders.

I looked around the room, to search for an object I could find solace in, when my eyes locked onto the pendant that fell on the ground. The hard shell was cracked open, revealing a crude drawing inside. It was already old and crumbled, but the love and passion of the artist was still clear.

It was made with a pencil and depicted two young girls who looked like sisters. Even though the artistic skill was that of a childs, I was able to recognize a beaming smile on both of them.

The glass that was securing the picture had shattered into pieces, whether anyone could repair it, I did not know.