Contrast of Truth and Lie

Raya slid through the hallway, holding her face in red embarrassment. She slouched and made herself small, as if begging not to be seen.

"Welcome." I waved at her.

"This is so awkward," she mumbled and rubbed her nose. The prince waited for her to arrive.

The girl stood before me with her head low. Right now, she looked like a child waiting to be admonished.

"J-Just so we are clear, I did not try to trick you," she quickly explained, "it just kinda ended up this way. Honest!"

I reached out my hand and she flinched. "Oh dear, I already know. I was sure this day would come." I patted her head, and only then did she relax. "I just did not expect it to be this early."

Edward chimed in. "The whole idea was mine, so I hope you can curb your vindictive spirit."

He was quick to stand between me and Raya, one arm stretched out, acting as a guardrail between the two of us. One look at his face told me, every accusation he had nailed on me—the ones apparently used only to force an answer out of me—in reality, weren't far from the truth he believed in.

"But what should I do? This isn't the first time right? If the two of you keep holding secret meetings, I can't help but feel jealous." I turned around, crossing my fingers behind my back, and lightly hummed. I glanced over my shoulder. Raya twitched slightly. Edward kept his eyes on me.

"Does that still matter?" The prince said. "We've already cut all ties. Who I talk with is not of your concern."

I shrugged. "Idiot. I'm not jealous of her—I'm jealous of you. Stop hogging my cousin all for yourself, cheapskate." I stuck my tongue out in jest.

For a while, he was silent. Clearly, he had remembered my words. He remembered we would not see eye-to-eye, that we were composed of different materials. Thus, he did not find it in himself to react. Instead, it was the girl who walked forward. She lightly grabbed her dress, her head tilted towards the window. In front of total darkness, a few raindrops glistened silver-white, as they slid down the glass. Unbeknownst to me, the outside had turned into a slow, silent shower.

"It's been raining a lot lately," she said.

"It's that time of the year after all," I responded. Raya nodded.

She opened her mouth, grasping for the right words. She began, "So, as you may know, I've met with His Highness before. That was when you two were still engaged. Ah, but there was no infidelity going on, I swear." She waved her hands and quickly denied before I could ask. "This is a little embarrassing, but at that time it was a bit hard to approach you so suddenly, and His Highness saw me loitering around, thus we began to chat." The girl reached for her head, wishing to grasp her hair-ornament I presume, but there was nothing to touch. Her hair that had been shortened could not inhabit any accessories—though she seemed to have forgotten for just a second.

"Well, you told me briefly." I nodded in understanding. "If I recall, it was when I returned to the D'Anelé mansion. What was it again? You said how you were much more suited for the prince than I."

The prince's eyes widened slightly, he glanced at Raya before quickly averting his eyes.

"Oh god, don't say that out loud." Raya crouched down and hid her face behind her knees. Her ears glowed pink. "If I knew what would happen just a week later, I wouldn't have said it even if you killed me. I just wanted to rile you up a bit, honestly."

Of course, Edward stepped in—again—quick to explain himself. "Truth be told, you could say the two of us are friends." He paused. "I still remember the first time Raya and I met. I think, by that time, Agnes, you'd been living in the capital for a month? Poor her, she had come to visit you, but you did not pay her any mind. I remember how dejected she had been." The prince laughed. "Thinking back, I should have known how heartless you were by then."

Raya shot him a quick glance; she did not nod. "I'd come more often to visit you, but you seemed to avoid me and I didn't want to disturb you. It was really infuriating. Ah, but I'm not mad anymore. Right now, I realize how silly I must have been." She smiled at me. "I couldn't help but vent my frustrations at His Highness. As such, we became friends."

The prince chuckled silently. His voice was weak and filled with sympathy rather than humor. "It's funny. In the past, you would always complain about her and I had to pacify you." The prince turned around. "Agnes, do you know how many people you have hurt with your actions? Every time, I had to tell her how you wouldn't be leaving her without reason and that you definitely had some good in you, little did I know that I would in fact be lying."

"We are all just products of our environment. Though, I doubt you want to hold this conversation again?"

There was a short silence. The three of us stood still, our feet forming a triangle. We all faced each other, probing with our sight, the other party's intention. The rain that kept washing down the window was now picking up pace, falling like petals, turbid and dirty. The outside continued moving without waiting for us.

"I would love to say, 'I wish we could return to the old days', but that would be nothing more than living in a mirage," Edward lamented, and solemnly shook his head. Mirage—that word may have been more suitable than he thought. "The last day Raya and I met, I, as your fiancé, had vehemently defended you to be someone trustworthy, while the girl, who still hid her sadness with anger, insisted that you had no more than empty words. Now, the two of us have met again, and while she has regained faith in you, I myself have long lost it." He pointed at my face. "So why don't you answer for us: Can you, in good conscience, say that you will always stay by her side?"

"My, aren't you forceful today?" I stepped forward and grabbed Raya by her shoulders. I brushed her hair out her face and gently placed them behind her ear. "Your Highness, I suppose this is enough for today. It has gotten late and I do not wish to intrude on your time. Perhaps we could meet at another time?" My eyes remained on Raya while I asked him.

The prince gave me a dirty look, but before he could disapprove, Raya continued, "Edward, it's fine. I think I will manage on my own from here on out." Her eyes also never left my face as she said so.

The prince said nothing at first. It took awhile for him to break his own silence. "I understand. It would be rude to intrude in the talk of two ladies. I shan't disturb you further." Leaving behind those words, I heard his footsteps as they quietly disappeared among the noise of the rain. I immediately felt lighter as I realized he had indeed left. Still, that brat had left an incredible parting gift, I thought to myself, as Raya kept on staring at me.

"He isn't as bad as you make him out to be," Raya said.

"That's because you weren't engaged to him. All I see is a self-important kid with morals he can't seem to define," I told her, "the type of people I dislike most."

Raya sighed. "He only wants to help. It's in his nature, I suppose. A rather rare quality that both of us lack."

I grazed my hand around her cheek. "You know me well. But then you should also know that there is no point in defending him—at least not in front of me."

"I guess I owe him at least this little. Truthfully speaking, after you got engaged, I didn't visit the capital to see you. The one I really wanted to meet was the hateful man who took you from me. I wanted to make his life hell by terrorizing him until he repented," Raya said and closed her eyes. Her mouth formed a faint smile, while she reminisced over the past. "But he was totally different from what I expected. The man was kind hearted and willing to listen. He helped me when I was down. And he supported me when I needed it. I just couldn't hate someone like that." She grinned. "Really, how did you manage to make someone like that loathe you this much?"

"I suppose that is one of my many talents."

The two of us laughed out. First, there was only giggling, but it did not stop and rapidly turned into genuine laughter. Feeling the air leave my lungs was refreshing. It was like a windstorm, blowing away the oppressed atmosphere around us. Raya continued laughing until it turned into giggling again. In the end, she let out a big sigh. Exhausted, she let her head fall down; the hair I so neatly combed behind her ear fell out and hid her eyes, leaving me only with her faint smile.

"Agnes, will you leave me alone again?"

"Aren't you just as forceful as the prince?" I grabbed Raya's head and let her rest on my bosom. I carefully stroked her hair and answered, "I won't."

Her smile never left her. She reached for my hand and stroked it carefully. Her soft fingers ran atop my skin, gliding, like the raindrops on the window. ". . .Liar."

She pushed me away, and I stumbled, almost landing on the floor, if not for the wall behind catching me. The moment I regained my balance, I looked up at Rayas face. A single tear left her sorrow-filled eyes and slid down her pale cheek, as she continued smiling. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground.

"Raya."

She cupped her ears and shook her head. "Don't! Whatever you say, don't!"

"Listen to me." I held her tight and took her hands away. I looked straight into her eyes and said, "If I said that you wouldn't find independence by clinging onto me, if I said that I wanted you to stand on your own without needing to rely on me, if I told you this was my way of supporting you—would you believe me?"

"How can I trust you? I know this is selfish, stupid and maybe even childish, but I wanted the truth. I needed it, just as much as the lie." She gripped her hair with strength enough to rip it out. Her eyebrows scrunched together and she bit down on her lip. "I also want to follow you with my own strength, but everyday, our distance seems to increase. The me right now, I'm not that fast, I cannot walk forward unbound by the past like you do." She reached out her hand. "I must seem like nothing more than a burden to you, right?"

"I don't understand." I knelt down to look at her face. "What is it that you want me to do?"

"I don't know either. I don't know what I want, I don't know what I feel. This is all too confusing. I would love to trust you, but I don't know if I can. Every word you say sounds like a lie to me. You came back and pretended we never parted. I was fine with it. But now you tell me you wish to leave again? Answer me, Agnes, please, will you really abandon me once more?" The girl grasped her hands around mine, her nails dug into my flesh, and she stared at me unceasingly.

I didn't say anything. It was in my policy not to engage in impossible battles. But more than anything, when I looked into her eyes and saw her earnest pleading, I simply knew this question was not for me to answer. I was Agnes, I am Agnes, I will be Agnes; Yet, I was certain, at this very moment, her eyes fell not on me but someone else.

"You can't, huh?" She laughed. This time without me. "I'm glad. I found something even the almighty Agnes can't solve." Her shoulders drooped. "As I thought. . . I really do—"

"Sleep."

As I commanded, she followed, her eyelids closing and her strength leaving. Her head landed on my bosom. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but did I really have the right?

"—you," she muttered, shortly before falling into a forced slumber.