Belonging (1)

My parents and Evan eventually arrived to join us, stunned to face the wonderful breeze once they entered the house. Neatly placing their shoes near the entrance, they stared at their surroundings. Almost every area sparked, cleaned to its perfection. I sighed as Luke and Alex were obsessed with making our new space more habitable. I closed the workbooks and rose from the dining room table, enthusiastic to greet them.

"When did you arrive?" My mom wondered.

"Around four hours ago," I recalled.

"We can show you to your rooms," my mom immediately offered.

"Isn't it the usual rooms?" I was confused.

I walked to follow my family up the stairs, escorting me and Luke to the same rooms we have previously used. Briefly freezing when my dad and Evan began to work together, moving out some of his stuff to make space for Alex's belongings. Evan's room was temporarily becoming Alex's new room while he was to sleep with our parents for the week. However, it was better than one of us sharing a room together.

As I strolled into my room, I couldn't help but smile. I had more privacy with the nicely built walls, no doors connecting to anyone's room. The entire bed was mine, the windows opening to my command. This place was paradise, and I approached the stairs once I finished exploring my room. Entering the living room, I switched the TV on, taking advantage of having my parents with me. I tightly gripped onto the remote control, watching a random show on the anime channel.

"I'm gathering more ideas for my reports," I took out a notebook.

"We have to continue our schedule Rika," Luke frowned.

"Can you leave me alone? I'm doing this for us. You don't know how to properly write these reports to scam fairies. I can decrease the cost of the raw materials for us this way," I tried to seem reasonable.

Fortunately, my excuse was reasonable enough for Luke to allow me to continue watching more anime. I silently cheered inside my heart as I managed to see the anime adaptions of the manga I read. My eyes glimmered, nearly touched from my plan. My life was finally improving, eventually bringing some blankets from my room to use on the couch. Maybe I could live on the couch before getting dragged to the first district.

"It's time for dinner Rika," Luke interrupted me again.

"Give me the plates and I'll eat them," I gestured.

It was great timing since I was starting to get hungry. Luke's eyes widened when I completely emptied each plate without any sugar added. I was eating more than triple the usual amount, which made him speechless. If Luke continued to bring my meals to the couch, I wouldn't have to move from my spot. This was the ideal slow and lazy life. Until the sky became darker to become pitch black, and everyone began to get ready for bed.

"Everyone already took a bath, there should be enough hot water remaining for you," Alex entered the living room.

"Maybe I'll take one tomorrow morning," I was at a good part in the show.

"Are you serious? I'm calling Luke," he grimaced.

I quickly took this chance to hide the remote control inside my inventory. If I hid it near the cages of bugs, there was a high possibility they wouldn't take it away from me. However, I didn't think Luke would directly turn off the TV, using the button on the device itself. In one of his hands, he held my bathrobe, "if you can't bathe by yourself, I can help you like the last few weeks."

"I can bathe by myself," I swiped my bathrobe from him.

I puffed my cheeks, agreeing with Ally he was a clean freak. One day should barely make a difference. Under Luke's pressuring stare, I got off the couch, and pushed myself into the bathroom. After I took a shower, I discovered the bathtub was already filled with hot water, the perfect temperature. Once I entered the tub, my muscles began to relax, my mind nearly melting. It has been a while since I took a comforting bath alone.

Ignoring my eyes becoming droopy, my body felt too heavy to move. Maybe I was more tired than I thought I would be. I struggled to open my eyes once it closed, my mind hazy and overwhelmed by the fog. But my ears were perfectly fine, making me internally squirm when I could hear someone opening the door. It was strange, I remembered locking the door before I came inside.

"She's actually sleeping inside the bathtub," Alex sighed.

"I should have known Rika lacked more energy than usual," Luke blamed himself.

Why did I have no aspect of privacy from them? I began to cry inside my heart when I felt my body being carried before someone put my bathrobe on me. When the door opened, the cold air allowed me to open my eyes again. However, I instantly shut them again, seeing my mom shocked from the scene. Why was this house so small? My parents have never seen me right after I took a bath before.

"I can wake Rika to dry herself," my mom unfroze.

"It's fine, I can do everything for her. It's nothing new," Luke revealed.

"I can dry and change by myself," my face flushed into pink.

"I still have to show you where I organized everything," he opened my bedroom door.

"How old am I?" I wore my nightgown.

"Fourteen and turning fifteen this December," Luke accurately answered.

"Isn't it about time to give me some privacy?" I squeezed my blanket.

Whenever Luke found something difficult to answer, he stayed silent. Although I predicted something like this, it still felt humiliating. It just meant it was that hard for him to give me more privacy. But I had to take care of this problem right now. I couldn't live the rest of the period I was with him the same way. I seriously faced him again, "I'm fourteen and I need some privacy. I know you don't view me as your equal, but it's too much."

"You have your own room," he pointed out.

"A room where you can freely enter. It doesn't count," I shook my head.

"I can try giving you more privacy when you're older, but it's not currently the right time," Luke admitted.

"Why not?" I was annoyed.

"You recently stopped running away. It takes time for me to trust you again," he explained.

"And our present situation makes it unsafe to give you more privacy. You're frequently targeted by dangerous people and your lack of control can displace you from your surroundings in addition to easily causing trouble," he added.

I flopped onto my bed, getting the hint Luke would never give me any privacy. It was frustrating how he blamed himself for every outcome he disliked or couldn't control. Maybe my expectations were too high as I knew he thought this way since kindergarten. There wasn't much I could say to convince him otherwise.

"You shouldn't hold yourself responsible for almost everything related to me. We're the same age, you shouldn't continue to bear this burden," I recalled from the memorila.

"You don't have to worry about stuff like this," Luke sadly smiled.

"I'm saying I can take some of the burden if not all. In exchange, I want you to give me more space," I hoped.

"You should go to sleep," he switched the topic.

Did I really appear that unreliable in his eyes? Luke was willing to shoulder everything by himself without any complaints. I pretended to sleep, closing my eyes, soon hearing him step out of my room. Maybe he was certain I wouldn't be able to overhear. It was unusual he didn't place a sound barrier when talking about me with his cousin. My ears perked as I listened to his conversation inside Alex's room.

"She wanted to become more independent," Luke sighed.

"But there is no possibility she can be at this point in time," Alex sympathized with him.

"It's too early for her. There are many things Rika doesn't know, and she struggles to do the most basic things by herself," Luke agreed.

"It's because you cuddle her too much. You're more generous towards her than you should be," Alex advised.

"I tried to be stricter with her, but she ends up running away or crying each time," Luke seemed troubled.

"Her reactions are a little extreme," Alex acknowledged.

"But you allow her to act this way. This is why her begging is getting worse every year," he pointed out.

"I don't know another way to approach this," Luke helplessly admitted.

"I think the problem comes from her lack of knowledge. As you mentioned, Rika barely knows anything. She doesn't know what is good and bad. You should start exposing her to these kinds of information instead of waiting for her to grow up," Alex suggested.

Although Alex was severely insulting me, he was helping me. He was against Luke hiding nearly everything from me. I wanted to know more about the first district, the common sense I seemed to be missing out on. If I knew about the potential dangers, it would help me avoid them. The current control on what I could know felt suffocating. I began to see Alex in a new light, thinking he may be better than Luke in this aspect.

"Rika despises studying. If I add more to her schedule, she won't be able to handle it," Luke was worried.

"There's no one who hates studying more than Rika," Alex couldn't disagree.

I didn't mind extending my horrible schedule to obtain the knowledge I always desired to learn. It was more important to me than watching anime. How could I tell Luke without letting him know I was eavesdropping? Maybe I needed a breath of fresh air to help me think. I rose from my bed and opened my closet. Since it was summer, a light sweater would be good enough. Unfortunately, I was focused on searching to the point I didn't notice someone entering my bedroom.

"Are you cold?" Luke watched me.

"I don't know where the cardigans are," I vaguely responded.

"I can replace your blankets. Those clothes are for going outside," he knew my intent.

"I wanted to take a brief stroll around the neighborhood," I confessed.

"You can't leave the house at night, especially alone. I don't want to lock the windows and doors here," Luke warned me.

"I needed some space to help me think. I was thinking whether to study more," I hinted.

Luke went speechless, switching to studying me. Was it really that surprising? What if I wanted to study more? His reaction was offending on my end.

"Which subject and how much longer do you want to study? I can immediately make the adjustments," he quickly recovered.