Dehuminized

After the backstabbing of the Observer. I asked the system dispiritedly if I could at least hide my player name. Luckily I could, I could not imagine the possible outcome what those people would do to me once they knew who "Call me daddy2" really is.

I opened my eyes and could see the room I started in again but this time thanks to the Observer could understand the voices.

" Where is 'Call Me Daddy2?' I have a bone to pick with this guy. He copied my awesome name and added just the number 2 to it. A name like 'Call me Daddy' is just for people with a beautiful appearance like mine. "

The voice came from the a very special person in my field of view. Closing in on the age of 30. He was dressed in A tube top with sparkling stones embedded within. A pink miniskirt underlined the outfit perfectly.

" I even chose the Daddy families traditional clothes we picked when we went to war and some random punk chose to copy my famous family name. Change your name or otherwise my family will ruin your life. That is not a threat, that is a promise.

"Is 'Call me Daddy2' tired of living his family is a bigshot in District 1 " said another voice

"Yeah didn't the Daddy family extinguish a whole family of commoners because they addressed one of them by without any honorifics?"

After wishing my eyes to be bleached I focused on the actual things that were dangerous for me. Many of those players gazes were still lingering on me.

"Oh look an NPC". Said the deviously handsome men. He closed in on me and said "Look how I make him squeal like a pig. I am glad that the gods did not abandon us when our Ancestors looked like that. The only merit such a weak life form has that it can only proudly claim that we are his descendants.

He lifted his hand and launched it at my stomach.

It was unbearable. It felt like my stomach was on fire. It got worse and worse by every passing second. I issued several pained cries. When does this feeling stop?

Make it stop please, just make it stop.

What did I do to deserve such a fate?

Make it end.

I lost my consciousness but was woken up by a powerful blow onto my body.

With the air leaving my body came a gush of blood.

Continuous laughter could be heard and I felt the fingers pointing at me.

" Look its even squirming like a little worm. God I am crying here" said one elated voice out of the group.

" I have to praise the developer for such realistic noises" another one added quite happily

The eyes of my tormenter were full of anticipation on what he could do next.

"Let us test how he reacts to our holy powers, we can patch up our little toy up afterwards"

It feels strange there was no pain, no sensation of any kind. So this must be what death feels like. In my imagination, it always seemed way scarier. Now it feels like a warm embrace just an invitation you should not pass out on.

Opening my eyes I wanted to savor the image of a blue sky for one last time, opening my eyes I saw my stomach was currently clouded in bright blue flame. Turning my eyes towards the sky, anticipating a calming view I was greeted by nothingness.

Just a plain white scenery. Even a good last image is something that I don't deserve I chuckled bitterly.

I prepared to close my eyes for one last time, ignoring the blistering on my body. Accepting my demise I smiled lightly and hoped for a better future if there was any.

"Oh looks like its dying", he picked me up and threw me to the beautiful girl " Hey darling could you help me heal him back to full health, so we can have more fun with him?"

"Sure honey" she caught me with ease and activated a strange bright light in her hands. Afterward, a wonderous feeling filled my whole body, a warm current was flowing through my veins, connecting every injured part. It felt like a mothers embrace, that you never want to leave.

She threw me back to the man and it began once again.

The pain did not bother me anymore. After I nearly got killed by the burning. They used other holy powers on me. I nearly froze to death, was nearly fried by electrocuting me over and over again, or being cut apart by the wind. They covered my head in a spherical of water and left me to drown.

I was accepting my fate and was waiting for demise. But the people never stopped their experiments. They threw me like a ragdoll, but they made sure not to leave the safe zone so that they could keep their powers and continue to play with their new favorite toy. They trampled on me, spit on me. Calling me trash over and over again. But I don't mind that because in this world I am trash. I am an inferior human being. I deserve death in a world ruled by an iron fist. They finally let go of after feeling satisfied.

Afterwards, a single person walked up to me but I could not see the appearance of that person. Quite frankly I could not care either just another psycho toying with me. The person healed me back to health. "Do not worry little child, I will make all the pain go away. That is a promise all those big guys won't hurt you anymore." said the female voice.

I tried to lift my eyes to witness the face of my saviour. But she kept my eyes shut. " You don't have to see this scary stuff. Mommy´s here to protect you" she voiced in a soothing voice. She made sure to hiss at the others. "How could you only inflict pain and not care for him in the slightest?"

Even though this place is fucked up, at least there are people who have some common human decency. Complete and utter silence followed after she exploded in anger.

This felt like spring to my hurt soul, all the pain was subsiding step by step. I was currently trying to savour the moment of peace.

After she removed her hands. I lifted my eyes to witness this incarnation of an angle.

The only thing I witnessed was my eyes being carved out. "I want to puke if I have to look into the dead eyes of his again" the disdain in her voice shattered what was left of me.

" I changed my approach. instead of just inflicting pain. you have to give him hope before you crush it completely. That destroys its psyche. " I heard her issuing a sweet little chuckle.

"Can I play with him now? Pretty please?."

"Don't play him to death, though"

"Why would I do that? That would destroy all the fun we can have with him."

She grabbed my hand and told me in a baby voice

"5 little pigs are very mischievous and try to survive in this cruel, cruel world. But one thinks it is strong enough to live on its own, so it left the other 4 and died pathetically just around the next corner."

She began to rip out the nail of my pinky. I screamed out in terror. I made a mistake it wasn't me being numb to the pain. It was my brain shutting down its functions preparing for death.

"4 little pigs now were very sad because piggy number 5 left them. So piggy number 4 sought revenge and died, a senseless death yet again." She ripped out another one of my nails, it was a gruelling experience. I yearned for the previous state that would enable me to tolerate this level of pain. But this yearning would never be fulfilled.

Nail after nail left me, the story turned weirder by the seconds. "Piggy number 3 tried to run away from all the trouble and fell and broke its neck in its panic. Piggy Number 2 decided to hide in terror and to just wait it out, it went insane and ended his own pitiful existence."

"Only Piggy Number 1 thought itself to be wise as it prayed to our god and it survived the ordeal. It sought revenge and our graceful maker in all his wisdom chose to get rid of his burden. Our god killed the weak fool, he had to die because its blood was filthy and impure."

"One fool leads to the death of 4 innocent people. Do you know why I told you this story? I want you to share something with your whole dirty species. " the disgust in her eyes could not be hidden.

"No matter what you think you are, live your senseless life however you want. But never tarnish our gods don't even dare to speak their name because everyone who does, will have to die like the most foolish piggy, the one who prayed to our god and expected pity. There is no pity for cowards."

"Those piggies tarnished the name of our god, they are not deserving of gods favours. Only the Chosen Ones are eligible for that."

"So after this sad, sad story, let us continue with a more amusing story. Have you heard about the five little lambs, that got lost?"

After losing every one of my nails. I finally felt relieved that her playtime was over now. What a foolish thought that turned out to be.

"Now let us start a lesson about anatomy. Do you know the part where most nerves connect is in the tip of the fingers?"

"Let us see how he reacts if we overstimulate that place."

That was the moment I felt something precious inside of me breaking and slowly fading away.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This seems to be all I could muster of my last memories. I am quite curious about what did she do to me afterwards. Did she cut off my limbs, did she feed me with my excrements or did she cut off my tongue and how often was I patched up again? Ah, who cares, they had their fun with me, so why should I bother to speculate. The deed is done now what should I do here?

I was currently being used as a living bait. I have been left here dangling in this river for an unknown amount of time by now. The current was pulling me underwater and the dangling of the fishing rod kept my head over the river. But I don't mind, that just means that my time has yet to come. I have not seen any other living thing for ages. Solitude seems like a real loyal companion to me.

Suddenly I felt something nibbling at my feet. This feeling is really liberating. Finally, there comes my salvation. The fishing rod broke with a mighty snapping sound and I am pulled underwater.

This time there is no gods power in my way, my life is not dictated by others anymore. They won't impose their will on me anymore. To be free of all that useless pain and just be nothing that sounds like a dream come true, just being nothing at all seems like a really fitting destiny, doesn't it?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah you poor soul did someone hurt you and now you are like a little angsty teenager, buhu the world is so cruel. Sniff sniff the world hates me." I heard a voice mocking me I tried to answer but found myself unable to.

"Don't even try to, my name is not important. Of importance is one thing only. Man the fuck up, you felt such a pain for the first time in your life. So fucking what, why are people still struggling if life is without any kind of purpose in the end? They have reasons, that keep them moving forward despite the odds being against them."

"But you are just wasting life as it is. There are many people who have it worse than you, but you just act like the most unfortunate, pitiful person that ever existed. The world is not black or white, the world is neither evil nor good. Life is what you make of it. "

So cut the crap, I am not here to give you a heroic speech, that you are destined to great fortune. Create your own one and dictate your own fate. Then maybe you will find a reason to keep on moving forward. What have you left to lose? "

"If you have already given up on your life, you will be left with nothing. So go open your eyes and carve your own path and even if it still ends with your demise, you at least can look back and say that you really lived. Now open your fucking eyes. This is not a story, about sobbing, bitching or crying."

"OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES, YOU COWARD!!"

The voice suddenly ended, I was left alone with myself like I always am. It's just like every cliche in every story you heard. Our dear protagonist is struggling but then he hears a voice deep inside him that fills him with the new power, to fight on to continue on their path to the top.

But why should I struggle, why should I fight? The odds are against me anyway.

Are there any persons I want to see again?

The family that shunned me, because I was not the children they wished for?

My beautiful sister, that treats me like dirt? Even telling me, that she never had a brother. You have to love it, you fight for her sake, help her to get every limelight, every bit of attention and acknowledgement of my parents.

Just to let them see her in a favourable light and then as repayment, she stabs you in the back the second you are not needed anymore.

My father, who punched me every time he was seeking an outlet? My mother, who seeks pleasure in alcohol in order to distract herself from a dumpster-fire of marriage and blames everything on me? No matter where you look, I was still just a burden in the end. Just a tool, that you could use and discard if it's not needed anymore.

I helped people with their work and was given no credit, but I did not mind because they joy in their eyes was enough for me.

I helped a woman, who I considered to be my girlfriend. I was her support and I was her shoulder to lean on when she needed it. Until the day came when she was able to stand on her own legs again.

She just left me behind, I am still waiting for her call. I guess she never shared my feelings, she put her own happiness first and I cannot blame her for that. In the end, it all comes down to that. Everyone just acts based on their own interests.

The last thing I could do with such a useless life was waiting for 3 years so that my insurance pays after committing suicide. Selfless till the end, I never doubted myself. Looking back, I was quite a fool. It is wrong to hate the world. You can only hate the people who took advantage of you or hate yourself for the way you have been.

The world is not going to change for you. And if playing nice is not working out for me, I guess I have to take a different approach. Let my death be the last kind deed I did. Put these organs I donated to good use. I am thankful for that tumour, it was the beginning of my rebirth.

With my newfound conviction, I open my eyes.

....

'God he is always such a drama queen,' said the voice that mocked me before.

" He is already dead in the first place." an ominous voice answered.

' As cynical as always, I did not miss you at all'

" For now let us just observe he fulfils his role in our plan."

But they would have never guessed that this seedling would turn out to be a neophyte.