I could only sigh because this was no Delirium, no mirage, no bad dream, no delusion and no hallucination. Right in front of my eyes was a standard white scale with a big laughing mouth. I actually wanted to laugh about this comical spectacle, if only I didn't feel like crying.
"You have been chosen because you are special, you represent a rare quality, please save this world. These fools do not question anything and blindly accept everything, because they have been specially selected.
I give a fuck what is ultimately required of me, but I abhor it when I am taken for a fool. I don't know why I attach such importance to the opinions of others. But I know how much it bothers me to be seen as a toy.
A mighty voice echoed in my head, full of disgust and hatred. I felt small and worthless when I heard them, but unfortunately, I could not understand a single word because I could not speak their language.
That's exactly what I was referring to, to them I am just an object with whom you can do whatever you want. They make fun of me again and again and always lead me around by the nose. However, I am certain that these provocations can backfire and that their arrogance will be their downfall.
The history of mankind is full of such cases, where the mighty king ended up as a beggar, where a tyrant was poisoned by his maid and of weak people taking the sceptre from the mighty.
Their arrogance could cost them dearly. But enough of daydreaming and fantasy, it would be enough for me to destroy her beloved plans. A cobbler should stick to his last. Because otherwise, I would not be better than them, because I would make the same mistakes.
The talking scale, however powerful its voice may be, became background noise as I pondered on other things while the mouth moved up and down. There was nothing else to see in the dark of my eyes, but that did not change the fact, that I clearly lost interest in it the longer it continued its monologue.
Because no matter how grandiose or useful these words may be to me, it is useless if I cannot understand anything. This should be obvious, so why are they dragging out this performance? Will there be a revelation that they could speak English the entire time but wanted to fuck with me?
I was probably never destined to get the answer as the monologue got more and more out of hand. One might think that the description of a scale can be summarized in a few words, but no, apparently one has to start with the Big Bang to understand it.
The words were endless and I understood more and more that there are worse fates than death. If my life was threatened by the siren-like roar before, I was now helplessly exposed to the monotony of this monologue. Yearning for the sweet release of death I hoped to be freed of its deadly clutches but alas fate was a cruel mistress.
The sad part is that despite my exaggerations it truly was awfully boring. Any attraction that such a scale might have, has vanished into thin air. I was actually just waiting for the end so I could finally get back to work.
In the end, little has changed except that the scales now have a mouth. I had ruled out from the start that I could achieve anything with my language. While it was certainly a sight to behold at the beginning the novelty had quickly worn out.
Yet, the mouth continued to speak and speak and speak and did not seem to mind going on till the end of time. The heat death of the universe seemed closer and closer. I had relived countless reincarnations and finally grasped the concept of eternity.
After all of this, the scale still had not stopped speaking. Was this just an endless loop and I was doomed to suffer? Or was my brain not creative enough to find more comparisons to make this boring mess entertaining?
This reminded me of all of these lectures back in the day. When my soul did its best to leave my body and flee while my mortal husk kept me in place with my tormentor. Now that my soul finally has escaped to another realm, I had hoped to never experience something horrible like this ever again, but alas that was to no avail.
What made this situation worse was the fact, that this scale seemed oblivious to my current plight, as it just went on and on with the same kind of voice. No variations, no change of tempo it was all just an endless accumulation of words.
Just let me try some stuff, I do not need a tutorial on this matter, especially when I can not even follow it. I thought deeply about other ways to waste some time, but it was hard not to just start cursing and telling the scale to hurry up.
I had a hunch, that losing too much of my rationality would not do me any good. Venting my frustrations is certainly something I needed, but I should not stop paying attention to the scale itself.
I might never know when a seemingly minor detail could save my ass. Although my brain was starting to be lulled by the onslaught of words, I paid some attention to the scale itself from time to time.
Although my discoveries were not worth the headache I got from the scale itself. Because after kept staring at it, I just began to realize the extent of its averageness. It was just a white scale and nothing more.
I thought that I might uncover some secrets, after all, which normal scale would have a mouth? But no, the scale was just a normal scale, with no visible difference. At first, I thought that this was a cover, a disguise to hide behind, but no, it was only a useless white ordinary scale.
Rather I found it remarkable how common something like this could be. if I did not know any better I might think that having a mouth was also a trait which a scale should have. It truly was fascinating how bland its appearance was.
I found myself marvelling at this masterpiece of mediocracy and my mouth was left agape after I witnessed this ingenious design of inconspicuousness. I wanted to describe in great detail, the absolute simplicity of this scale. But it was a white scale and that was it.
I truly wonder if this was done on purpose, or if they just copy-pasted one of my memories? Wait a minute, have I been insulting myself just now? Would not be a first, but I am clearly better than whoever came up with this atrocity.
Why would anyone settle on something so featureless? It is about a concept of balance, something which represents life in general, so why would anyone in the right mind say, let us make this as discreet as possible?
I know that taste is highly subjective, but I would never be able to trust anyone who thought of this as a good idea. Because this was not about good decision making anymore, this was a crime not only against good taste but also against every scale to have ever existed.
Any scale would be mortified and deeply ashamed having to call this abhorrent creation their brethren. They would have to live their life to repent for this monstrosity, wishing that scales would never have existed.
I might even write a strongly worded letter criticizing their taste in scale design. That will show them not to mess with the holy appearance of scales. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I am a bit too dramatic over casual things.
That could not be true, how can someone as serious as me dramatize something? All of this is nothing more than the truth. You will never find a person who is as unbiased as me. I have studied the scale all my life. Nobody knows it better than me, other than every human being in possession of a digital scale.
Since I am clearly an expert on this subject, it is my god-given right to criticize it. I have done my utmost to stay objective and focus on the facts, this level of professionalism is to be expected from people of my calibre.
While I was busy flexing with a status I did not deserve a visible change occurred on the scale. Much to my dismay, the entire scale was still clad in the ugly white colour, but both sides of the scale have begun to illuminated by 2 different blinking lights.
But they knew no mercy when it came to the lights, because their intense, almost blinding nature harassed my optic nerve. Which ultimately led me to let go of a few curse words because of the abruptness of this terrible change.
I could not tell whether I was in a cheap casino or about to have a seizure due to all of these lights. Nothing made me yearn for truly being blind more, then seeing this cheap spectacle, presented in a manner as if it was a lifechanging event.
It was like these stupid ads for mobile games, where the stuff shown on screen could never be found in the game itself. In my eyes, all of this flashy stuff was another reason to detest the ones in charge of this entire act.
In fact, all of this tutorial, or whatever this is supposed to be was starting to piss me off. I did my best to distract myself and wait for it to end, but my patience is starting to run thin. It is not very engaging if the scale starts to engage in some sort of combat with me.
I might feel inclined to actively work against the people who gave me this scale and this should not be in their interest. If they have seen my memories, they will know that this is not am an empty threat.
Yet the flashing lights never stopped as if it was announcing to the world just how important it was. Judging from my personal experience, it might have been a weird game show, where the participant must guess the weight of 2 different objects.
Although this could not be any further from the truth, it had become a reality for me as this shitty scale did not deserve any treatment better than this. If it goes on like that, I might refer to it as a crude and cheap whorehouse.
The possible names that came into my mind were plenty but I did have to wait for too long before the visual impairing spectacle entered its next phase. What I can only describe at as a failed attempt at basically everything I know, took place right in front of me.
And that it was me putting it nicely. Because in front of me exactly nothing happened. The lights went out and the scale stopped speaking. All of this build-up and then it ends like this. I mean I had low expectations, to begin with, but just straight up doing nothing must have been the dumbest decision they could have made.
There I was dumbfounded at the utter foolishness of certain people staring at the scale, which now did not have a mouth any more waiting for something to happen, which would never come again. This must have been all part of an elaborate plan they are trying to pull on me, there is no way they can be this dumb.
Very funny guys, but could we please now start with the real tutorial, please....? Yet, nothing changed the scale was just as white and just as useless as it had been prior. I began to contemplate my life choices and pitied myself for the people that were in charge of me.
But then it happened, the scale began to shine brightly again. I was elated, finally, a serious introduction was about to occur but the light which gave me hope disappeared in an instant again taking my last bit of hope with it.
This cruel teasing would have destroyed my very soul if I was not that impressed by their creative usage of common tropes to subvert my expectations. But on a more serious note, I am quite amazed by them for pulling this stunt on me. I was not even mad that it worked that well.
Though this goodwill soon turned around as I saw the light flashing again and again from time to time. I swear if they new morse code, they would tell me to go fuck myself. The lights continued to blink rhythmically slowly taunting me as if they wanted to draw my attention onto them.
I would not fall for such cheap provocations from an Inanimate object. Not without knowing their intention. I do not mind playing along, provided there is a benefit in doing so. Though it was hard to it hard to find any meaning or purpose in all of their acts, without understanding their language.
As of now, it felt like I was stuck at the tutorial stage, that would not let me proceed unless I follow their exact instructions Sadly, there was no press (x) to jump and no analogue stick to move the camera around with. All I got was some cheap lights highlighting the two sides of a scale without any other hint.
This kind of strategy did not prove that helpful to me, as I still had no clue how to proceed with this scale. Though I was glad that the voice had finally stopped and I could try different methods to interact with the scale.
Wait, did the scale just smile at me again? Please, for the love of everything that is holy, do not loop the words. Once was clearly enough, please just let me try it out. But if I had learned one thing through all of this ordeal, it always ends exactly like I do not want it to.
So once again I was greeted by the sheer endless monologue of the voice which I was very familiar with. A long groan escaped my lips as I thought on how to free myself of this vicious cycle. Until then I was stuck listening to this weird monologue of a normal scale with a mouth.
I would not go out of this unharmed and if I manage to leave this behind, I will have become a changed man. The worst part is that I still did not understand a single word that was said in front of me.
I shouted out a loud fuck you since this time around it was well deserved but it fell on death ears and the monologue continued without any interruption.
All of this from a simple white scale. Sometimes I truly wonder why I always found myself in the middle of such absurd events.
Yet the useless white scale did not care as the voice continued on and on and on.
Its official, I am going insane.