As I was blindly rummaging through the ground in hopes of digging a hole deep enough to hide in, I contemplated my thinking process again. This pit would become a glorified grave by the time I would be done.
If not for the lack of alternatives I might have started to seriously doubt the last remnants of my sanity.
Just too much had happened and I never was able to truly reflect on everything. The information I did get, only caused me more confusion and gave me more reason to question everything again.
I was a slave to my antics and barely clung to the sweet illusion of my newfound 'freedom'. Yet, the magician at my side followed me as if I had a big plan for everything.
It was very unlikely for me to have that kind of foresight when I knew even less when he did. Every plan I had made would end up being useless either way. Stumbling headfirst through all of this madness had taught me that lesson over and over again.
I had no qualifications to think about the big picture when the most minute details were something that seemed to occur without rhyme or reason. The search for clues of any form or pattern had remained fruitless.
Sadly, the only consistent pattern that I kept on finding on my journey was the lack of any visible results. An endless chain of failures was my only notable achievement.
Alas, this was not a groundbreaking discovery, merely another continuation in this story of mine.
Though I did wonder, why exactly I had not fallen into a depressive slump once I had started thinking about myself again. Had I become a new person after digging a hole? Was there a profound truth hidden in this layer of dirt?
Whatever had caused this kind of change, did not matter much to me right now. I was too focused on enjoying this state of mind; I did not even bother about the when and how.
Too many good things had been ruined by my rationality. Finding the true reason would inadvertently just give me more reason to jump on the spiral of self-doubt yet again.
The merry-go-round of self-loathing could stop for a while. For once, I was free of any weird thoughts or pressuring threats looming on the outside. I was still aware of their existence though, but those truly seemed superfluous now.
In this wonderous state of mind, the outside world stood still and I just dug to my heart's content. The concept of time had lost its importance and everything was promptly forgotten.
It had felt like an eternity, most likely it had been a few minutes, but I finally found peace. It was not meant to last; it was merely a reminder that I could achieve my dream.
When would I finally be at peace in my mind?
Though the answer to this question was as elusive as it always had been and the circumstances were as disruptive as per usual.
Someone out there took a thorough disliking for anything positive in my life and was doing their utmost to change my current status quo. At this point, it had become the norm to expect something like that.
Although, it was still entirely unknown what kind of event would await. The sheer variety and creativity that had been shown so far made it impossible to predict what exactly would happen.
In the distance faint sounds could be heard. They resembled droplets of rain that rhythmically hit the ground. It was a calming sound that reminded me of my life back at Earth when things had not been this complicated.
Sitting by the window as I just stared at the dark sky and the rain that made its way downwards. At times, they made me forget about everything.
Despite the comfort it had brought me, I was painfully aware that it was more than a bad omen. It was merely the beginning because when it rains it pours.
For the time being, I had no other choice but to stop my excavation of the soil as a fight was imminent. Pushing my body out of the makeshift hole, for an instant, I marvelled at the depth it had reached, before taking up a fighting stance.
My muscles contracted and I paid close attention to my surroundings. With danger lurking at every corner, I had to be vigilant any given moment.
Despite listening attentively, I did not find a single clue about any monster or being in my close vicinity. However, this was not nearly as good as it sounded. The safer the situation seemed the more trouble it contained.
Yet, only the distant sound of rain hitting the ground entered my ears. Its rhythm was irregular and varied in speed. The produced sound, wet and squishy, was rather unpleasant the more I listened to it.
By now it was more than obvious that this phenomenon was something entirely different. Judging by the regular breathing of the magician, it was not something I had to worry about though.
Which in return only made me more suspicious about it. The nature of things in this world was rather simple and crude. Everything here was out to get me and put an end to my existence.
Something that produces such a disturbing sound can not be harmless. It fit right into the scenery, which was rather foreboding in itself. Fitting seamlessly into the theme of death and decay was not a good sign. Not at all.
It was similar to a small child jumping from mud puddle to mud puddle but far, far more sinister. As if a thousand pieces of meat hit the ground simultaneously.
What kind of matter could produce such a downright disgusting sound upon impact? I had heard a lot of terrible things here, but this was unlike any other. Regardless, I should not come into contact with it under any circumstance whatsoever.
The thought of losing my life to whatever this was, did not enter my mind. Instead, I found myself sprinting towards the riverbed to hide.
Not much time was left as the origin of the horrifying sound came closer at an alarming pace. Step by step I came closer to being safe, but then it hit me.
It had hit me … directly in the face.
An unidentified flying object had attacked me and turned my head into smithereens. This was the end of my unfortunate story. Died doing what he loved the most - running away.
The scale in front of my eyes was as unperturbed and uncaring as it always had been. My well being was of no concern. Its only interest lied in the specimen that had caused me a splitting headache.
Standing on two legs the figure was oddly similar to a human being. Only the horn protruding from their forehead gave them their different appearance. The white robe he wore was filled with numerous holes.
Underneath, many wounds were oozing blood and dyeing the white garment red. Although this detail did not affect the one wearing it.
Far from it, the expression on its face appeared elated and happy. Somehow this being seemed to be glad about finding itself in this unforgiving environment.
Did it yearn for death to such an extent?
This Scale, it brought not the salvation that was sought. The freedom it contained, was being bound in chains. There was no absolvation, the Scale, it only knew condemnation.
It was absolutely not impartial, yet its judgement was absolute. The only interest it ever had lied in itself. This was neither a blessing nor a misfortune. It merely was another causality, a transition to something which I might never understand.
The balance it portrayed, truly was an ill-fate.
To call it a lonely road was to imply that this path knew companionship in the first place. Solitude's reign fated to last till the second of the same kind appeared. Predetermined to become nourishment, their reunion was short-lived.
Was it not the shared suffering that spoke volume about the Scale's very nature?
Destiny, ephemeral and palpable, was nothing more than a speck of dirt in front of it. What good was there in obtaining freedom like this?
How could one smile when such a thing awaited? Finding peace and relief did not coincide with reality. It was merely a fool's dream.
A silent hope, which was just as feeble and irrelevant as the beings holding onto it.
Despite all of this, the smile on its lips had only grown stronger. Maybe the head-on collision had caused a malfunction in its brain. My thick skull had once again prevailed and ruined another promising existence.
My life had never been enough. This poor soul merely marked the start, the first one in a long line of victims. My thick skull would not stop until it all had been laid to waste.
Although right now it was in no position to follow its dream since the aerial assault continued with full force.
Bodies started to land everywhere and left a gnarly sound as they met the ground. My headache was of minor importance when so many lives came to an end in such an absurd fashion.
I could not fathom the sheer number of creatures that met their demise in such a dehumanizing manner.
Yet, why did I not hear any screams or voices of distress? They fell to their deaths and there was no trace of despair to be found. Only a sweet melody left their mouths before they left this world.
It was an odd tune that was so out of place in this eerie environment. The thought of presumably deadly injured creatures humming under such circumstances was beyond ludicrous to me.
This bizarre event left me speechless and I was unable to find any logical explanation. Had they lost their minds or was this sort of death a preferable outcome to them?
The absolute lack of fear was by far the most frightening aspect.
Seconds passed, more and more lives were lost, but all of it was treated as if it was nothing more than an everyday occurrence; it was as common as a cup of coffee in the morning and as trivial as taking a breath.
Did their existence only amount to this much? Merely a melody was mustered as they approached the afterlife. Could their final moments, deprived of purpose and meaning, even be appeasing?
Death's embrace, ever so bittersweet, met the most unfortunate, those blind to the importance of what would be lost. Although I did not believe in the idea of an afterlife, I still wished for them to find peace in it.
They deserved a life that was more than just a sweet tune.
Standing amongst this madness reminded me once more, just how little value life held here.
When the prospect of demise became this appealing, then something had gone horribly wrong.
If even the horrors of the Scale cause them to smile, then just what was the alternative? What could be this horrifying?
The tide of bodies that dropped from the sky left a lasting impact on my psyche. Another body had crashed into my body and violently met its end.
For a mere instant, two souls looked at one another and heartily laughed. The unforgiving Scale covered them in chains and yet their countenance did not even change by a little. Despite the hellish torture that they had to endure, they had never once stopped laughing and smiling.
The Scale absorbed them and violently stripped them of every ounce of their being. But in the end, it had not been enough to break them.
Seeing such happiness, in dire times, was offsetting. It was hard to tell, whether their pain tolerance did not exist or if they were even more insane than me.
The latter would be much more concerning if it were to be the cause.
Such insanity being this common was not a good sign for things to come. Because such madness did not exist without reason. There has to be something out there that made them crazy to such an extent.
I would like to avoid becoming enemies with someone who can laugh in the face of death. A madman was unpredictable and just as much of a threat to their surroundings as they were to themselves.
In short, not an opponent that I would want to fight. Especially not, if there are this many psychopaths in this world.
The amount of strength in my body was barely enough to survive. Without the help of the magician, I would have died many times over. How many monsters could I have killed before being devoured by them?
The answer? Far from enough.
This environment was way too variable and unrelenting for a single human to survive in. It had not even been a day in this hell hole… and death was looming at every corner.
How could I dream about the future when today felt like an eternity. There was no light to find if all I saw was utter darkness. I could just live in the moment because that was all I had.
Each breath I took defied the odds and prolonged something which should have ended ages ago.
There was no need for miracles or wonders when my continued existence itself was one.
This one moment I was alive and in control. I wanted more than just a simple melody when it came to an end since it was all I had.
I wanted more than just a simple smile and a heartfelt laugh when it all comes crashing down.
I strived for more and did not want to come to terms with my demise until I had no other choice because this one moment was all I had.
In a land that only knew death, there had to be a way for me to find a worthwhile life. There had to be a ray of light, that I was unable to see. This was my moment. The one I lived for.
It might be an illusion but I was not digging my own grave here. I was not digging another hole to hide in. I was digging for the elusive future when a moment became more.
If it all had no meaning and I was merely a tool, then at the very least, I want to say that I tried.
Regardless, of how impossible and ridiculous it might seem. A moment was all that it took for things to change. The more I saw and lived through the more I was able to feel. I wanted to live and tell my tale.
This had to be something real, something that made me feel the world as it was intended.
I wanted to graduate from my weak self and find meaning through it.
I yearned to become whole.
The day it rained corpses had become the day that filled me with life.