Chapter 9- Thoughts inside one’s mind

Hi, my name is Sugi.

10

Just started grade 9 a while back, finishing school in about two years.

-What are you doing?

-Not much

-Why are you talking to him

-Lead… You there

-We know you are there

And those are my six sub personalities

-Hey, hey. Why are you talking to him?

-You see Anna at the front. She may be waiting for you

-Does she like us?

-No, no

-Stop being so negative; I'm sure she does

That's right; I'm walking down a bridge, surrounded by people I am forced to pretend to care about, while the only person I like, is someone I can't bring myself to talk to.

-I'm here, what's the commotion about?

-Oooooh, Finally he's here

-Lead, talk to her. You like her, don't you?

-I'm not sure. Every time I try to talk to her, I can't speak.

The only friend and the person I want to know is the same person I can't bring myself actually to talk to. I always put up a smile and put in some off-hand comments, but that's really all I can do.

-Yea, I like her

-You sure not love?

-To tell you all the truth, I don't know

The conversation went silent a little

Looking at a male, I pretend to care, just to fit in with everyone else. On my way here, I barely spoke. It always feels like she could deal without me, without everyone, really. She's smart, naturally beautiful and inventive. She made a better wing than me, even though it was my specialty. I practiced and tried to be better, but in the end… Is the birth of a person all the matters?

-Why not try to talk to her?

-I don't know what to do

-Have you ever try relying on us for a change, we are six people in one

-It's the two of us in the room right now, that's why things work when you have 6, it's getting very troublesome

…

This is my inner world. A room with a large round table where six personalities, including myself, can sit.

-I do see your point, but I just not sure how to do it

-What me to take over for you?

Another came through the door into the meeting room

-No, it's fine

I was walking closer and closer to the entrance to the cocoon building

-Think, think of something you can say to her

-No, there's nothing, I could think of to say to her

-Why not? Tell her your feelings

-I can't

-Mate, let me do it!

-No, I…

I bit my lips a little. I didn't know what to say. It's strange, we look the same, but our personality can't be more different.

-I just want things to progress more normal, okay?

-But, you've already known her for a few years…

-I think she should wait

The voice came from someone sitting on the ground with his back on the wall

-I agree

-But… how long?

The simple-minded one just left the room without saying anything

-I don't know

-Say it, I believe in you, we are all in this together

I was closer and closer to the entrance of the cocoon.

-It's still far away…

- Don't pull us into your delusional fantasy

Another appeared, jumping down from the roof.

"Sugi, what did you do on the weekend?"

-great another pain in the ass

-I agree

I waited for few second to reply, while I concentrated on thinking how I'm going to talk to Anna

-He's beginning to look weird at us. Maybe we should say something

-Ok, I get it

-Pretend to care…

-to the key to the world…

-and do whatever you want

-Nice follow-ups, people!!

"Ummm… let me think."

-Great! That shooould definitely give few more hours

-Ooooh shut it. That will at least give a few more seconds.

"I did not know much, just the usual, eating, sleeping and some exercise"

-Wow, you really didn't put any effort into it, did you

-It's not like we need him in our lives

-Brutal

-Admit it; He's useless

-But on the bright side, he's now silent

"umm…"

-Dammit, he talked. I forgot he can do that

He didn't speak after all… I made sure of it. We're approaching the entrance. No, I was already in front of it. Anna was there, right there, waiting for everyone to pass before she does. Speak, come on, speak!!

I opened my mouth.

There were no words.