Hello, this is Bob.

Hello, this is Bob, the actual good writer in this series.

My company fired me, but I finally got hired again.

It turns out that "having a stoopid name" is not a valid reason to fire someone.

Why do I want this job?

I don't really know, but I hated Li's (the other writer) smug smile when he said, "My daddy is CEO."

Well, it pays fairly well, and I have a several mouths to feed, so I guess I'll be in this job for a while.

Honestly, I don't know why I'm here.

Why am I writing.

What did I do wrong in my life to be writing for *this* novel.

Honestly.

.

You know what.

F*ck this sh*t.

I'm done with tryharding.

If you can write the sh*t that was written before and still make money, you're a genius.

I'll stop trying.

Now, let's start the cancer.

.

Bob was a man who lived in Cancerville, America.

He was married to a man called Dick.

Bob and Dick were the happiest couple in town.

For they were cancer cells that endlessly reproduced and killed off everyone else.

.

Alice was a small girl, a loli if you will.

One day in her home in Texas, she met with Ching Chong saving the world from farting pandas.

Then, she brought out her shotgun and pulled the trigger because she was a racist Chinese-American who hated all members of her own race.

.

Orange man was being orange man.

.

The four of them met in some random building owned by an organization called sword or shield or something.

They formed a team called, "WE ARE CANCER."

The team would later go on to be most cancerous superhero team in the history of the Earth, but they didn't know it then.