Dark Lust

"Stay calm, Cass. You got this," I whispered to myself as I dragged myself home. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, it began raining hard. I wanted to run, but my body was too weak to even sprint. I can't stop now; I had to get home. Every step felt heavier as the rain drenched me and the sheer cold pierce through my skin. Few steps later, I started to shiver; few more steps, and my eyes welled up. Right now, this weather is all I have; it concealed my tears with its rain and muffled my weeping and screams with its thunder. My chest felt heavy as my heart throbbed with overwhelming trauma. How I wish a lightning would just strike me down and end all the darkness choking me once and for all.

A few thunders later and I finally I got home. There's one problem though; I told my parents I'm staying at a friend's house, so I had no other choice but to sneak into my own home. If my mom found out I lied and went to a party, I might as well be dead; moreover, if my dad discovered that I lost my phone, he'd probably revive my sorry butt just so he could kill me himself. Oh the terror. Parents will be parents I suppose.

There's no turning back; I slipped my key into the keyhole and opened the front door as quietly as I can like I was some sort of a burglar. Without a sound, I went straight up to my room, went in the bathroom, looked at myself through the mirror, and removed my make-up. I couldn't think straight. This was indeed a tragic night. I should consider myself lucky for getting home in one piece. I could hear the rain pour outside. I'm still shaken up from the battle I just witnessed; I can't think clearly. I leaned over my sink and washed my face with water that was so cold it almost gave me frostbite. I reached out for my towel and dabbed my face dry. As I stood straight to look at my reflection, the light flickered and I froze.

I saw a shadowy figure hovering behind me. I swallowed. The shadow placed its hands on my shoulder slowly, very slowly, and all the hair in my body stood up as a chill ran down my spine. In a swift movement, one of its hands grabbed me by the neck and held my head up. My eyes started welling up and I couldn't catch my breath. The shadow leaned forward; its head just above my shoulder and revealing its face. It was me, or rather it had my face. I don't understand. Do I have an evil twin sister that I didn't know about? Or is this a shape-shifting creature making fun of me? Either way, I'm totally freaking out.

I shut my eyes tight and my tears trickled down my cheeks. My mind was battered with different kinds of fear. I was scared and I sensed myself drift to nothingness. My heart began to pound heavily matching the shortness of my breath, and I felt something cold build up inside my chest; the pain was unbearable. I couldn't breathe, and my limbs started to go numb. I muffled a scream and forced my eyes open. She was gone, the shadow, my shadow. I finally caught my breath and began coughing like crazy. I started pulling my hair as an involuntary reaction. Is this what the guy warned me about? Stay away from the dark. What dark? Is he pertaining to the darkness of the world or the darkness inside of me? I'm just glad the shadow's gone. I quickly changed my clothes and rushed to my bed. I curled myself in my blanket, closed my eyes, and prayed no more weird things happen tonight.

Thursday

I didn't get any proper sleep, but I needed to get up really early so that my parents who think I'm at a sleepover wouldn't see me. I took a quick shower, changed in my uniform, and left, trying my best not to be reminded of all the fudged up things that happened last night. I walked to the 24/7 convenience store to grab something to eat. As I was paying for my instant, unhealthy breakfast, I looked out the window and saw the sidewalk where the fierce battle from last night took place. I suddenly wondered if people in the convenience store noticed anything during the unholy fight scene last night. People continue walking by not knowing what has happened on the pavement they're walking on. I can literally visualise myself lying on the ground watching the beast and Mr. Giant Sword battle each other.

"Miss? Here's your change," said the cashier. I apologised immediately realising that I was spacing out the entire time; I then thanked the guy and left. I walked to school while eating my breakfast on the go. A lot has transpired last night; I just want a normal day. Please, let me have a normal day. I was caught up in the supernatural events that I couldn't distinguish reality from delusion anymore. Moments later, I found myself at school without noticing the distance I had to walk due to the mental battery happening in my brain.

It was still early for the first period so I went to my desk next to the window, grabbed my journal and pencil, and started writing. It was my way to express my mood. I just let myself free and reach into a world where I can escape this cruel movie called reality. As I was writing, a hand appeared on my desk. I trailed the arm with my eyes to see whose rude hand was on my desk. I saw Tracy Macasaquit standing in front of me, one hand on my desk, one hand holding a cellphone, and two angry cat eyes staring fiercely at me.

"Is that my phone?" I tried to sound surprised. "It's so nice of you to bring it back to me, thank you!" I said sarcastically. I tried to grab my phone but she pulled it away. I gave her an annoyed look.

"Don't think I don't know what you have been doing to my boyfriend, Cass!" she yelled. "You left your phone on purpose so Josh would have an excuse to see you! Too bad, I saw it first! You ain't got no chance in stealing him from me."

I stood up and went face to face with the obnoxious hag known to everyone as Tracy Macasaquit. "First of all, 'you have been doing' is in the present perfect continuous tense which indicates there was an action that took place in the past, continued in the present, and most likely will continue in the future. I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING anything with your boyfriend. Second, I did not leave it on purpose because Josh wouldn't need an excuse to see me, a reason perhaps but not an excuse. Third, 'you ain't got no chance' is a double negative which literally implies that I have a chance with Josh. Poor Tracy, I can't imagine how confused your audience is with your grammar when you act. I pity them. How long did you practice those lines? Now, hand me my phone and go back to the stage where you belong because you stand no chance in the reality without a script," I grabbed my phone from her hand and it took her by surprise.

"I'm gonna destroy you Debate Team Witch!" Tracy shouted.

"Not if I destroy you first, Drama Bitch," I smirked. All my classmates began cheering.

Tracy tried to compose herself and stormed out of our classroom. As if she has anything to compose, that flat-chested drama wench. My classmates continued to cheer and started chanting my name repeatedly. They were making all kinds of noise. A few moments later, Mr. Garcia, our adviser, went in and hushed the uproar. He asked for me and escorted me to the principal's office for a dialogue; I'm assuming it has something to do with my suspension.

I went into the principal's office as graceful as I could. I was offered a seat, so I sat down poised and showing no signs of fear. No matter how scared I was last night, I have to uphold my fearless image as the Debate Team President in school.

"Ms. Isip, you've cut your hair. It's nice to see you back. But, it disappoints me to know that your return has caused a disturbance to the rules of our institution," said Principal Mercedes in her floral blouse which looked uncomfortable. The blouse clearly cannot accommodate her body. I squinted my eyes fearing that one of her buttons just gives up and rockets away from her blouse and blinds either of my eyes.

"How have I disturbed the rules of our institution, Miss Mercedes?" I asked. "Did I perhaps wake the rules of our institution from its slumber?" I added making Ms. Mercedes chuckle.

"Stop with your smart mouth, Ms. Isip!" interrupted Mr. Garcia.

"No need to raise you voice Mr. Garcia," said the sweet oversized principal. "As I was saying Cassidy, today is your return to school and according to witnesses, you violated three rules already. First, hair dye is strictly prohibited. Second, bringing of cellphone is also prohibited. Lastly, you yelled at a schoolmate and disrespected her in front of your classmates." I got a feeling that all these accusations came from a particular flat-chested adolescent with insecurity issues.

"With all due respect Miss, I'd like to explain myself"

"Go ahead, twist the facts Ms. Isip," said Mr. Garcia.

"I believe I was speaking with the principal, Sir," I replied. Garcia looked at the principal and gestured towards me as if saying punish her or something. Ms. Mercedes gestured me to go on and Garcia rolled his eyes.

"As I was saying, I'd like to clear that my hair was not dyed; it was overbleached and overbleaching is stupid but it is not against the rules. Second, if bringing a phone is prohibited, then you should punish Tracy Macasaquit. She brought the cellphone and gave it to me. With that in mind, I will gladly surrender my phone and retrieve it after class. Lastly, I did not yell nor disrespect Ms. Macasaquit. In fact, she went in our room, yelled at ME, disrespected ME, and accused ME; however, I do not see her being called in the principal's office. I recommend you review all allegations against me for which I am innocent in all counts."

"Anything else you'd like to add?" replied Ms. Mercedes with a smile.

"I rest my case," I said with a confident smile. I knew Ms. Mercedes was on my side. She was my English teacher before she became the principal. It was she who trained me to assert myself and to be confident with my wit. After Tracy rejected my from the drama club, I joined the pep squad where I met Valerie and Patrice. One day, we had a performance in our English class and one of my classmates was absent so they convinced me to take her place in the debate. At first, I didn't want to, but they said it was just trashtalk but with decent words. Once I've tried it and got the hang of it, I liked it; I left cheerleading and joined the debate team. Ms. Mercedes appointed me President of the school Debate Team not long after.

"If that's the case, you may go back to your class now," said the principal as she confiscated my cellphone. I thanked her with a warm smile and looked at Mr. Garcia, rolling my eyes at him.

I left the office, it was still early so before I return to my class, I headed to the ladies' room first. I washed my face. This time, it's not because of fear nor stress, it was because of satisfaction and pride. It's been a while since I last felt myself in power. I reached for a napkin and dabbed my face dry. I stood up straight and breathed a sigh of relief as I fixed my fabulous short hair. I was staring at my reflection, capturing a mental image of what satisfaction looks like. Suddenly, I felt that warm chill sensation in my heart. I heard my heart pounding and I closed my eyes to listen to it. When I opened my eyes, my shadow was behind me again. Eyes closed, grinning, and holding my shoulders. I didn't feel fear now. I don't know if I'm tired of being scared or I'm getting used to this situation. I guess the fact that it was still day made things less frightening. I felt my shadow pull my right shoulder. She tilted her head to a cubicle as if pointing something inside. As I turned to look, I felt my shadow embrace me, cling on me. It felt good. I felt safe as if someone was backing me up, giving me strength. I can't believe I feared my shadow; it's the only thing I can rely on during my solitude. It sounds crazy, but it's just the way it feels. Last night, my shadow tried to strangle me maybe because subconsciously I wanted to just die at that moment. Today is different, I feel empowered and my shadow is answering to my desires.

I walked towards the cubicle slowly and reached for the door handle. I pulled slowly. Considering the things I witnessed from the previous day, I was no longer surprised with what I saw. A girl was slumped in the corner of the cubicle. The space was filled with black goo: on the floor, the walls, and on the girl. I couldn't tell who the girl was; she was covered with black slime. Something caught my attention; the girl was holding a mask. This time, the mask had sad eyes and an open mouth as if shouting. It was white, the same as the hooded man from last night.

The girl began to moan. She looked up at me and the slime on her face began to slide off, it was Tracy! She saw me and her dead eyes turned furious and started growling my name: Caaaaaaaasssssssiiiidddddyyyyyy!!! She wore the mask and began screaming and going berserk. I took some steps back; I didn't run. I waited; I wanted to see what will unfold, but it wasn't my curiosity that made me stay, it felt like a responsibility. I felt strong with my shadow wrapped around me. I waited for Tracy to appear, and almost instantly, the cubicle door flew right out of its hinges. It was about to hit me when suddenly time stopped. The cubicle door was floating still in front of me, the birds outside the windows were frozen. Something is bound to happen. A voice started to whisper. It sounded familiar; it was my voice. I looked around, trying to distinguish where the voice was coming from; then, I saw my reflection through the mirror.

"Do you desire power?" My reflection asked with a grin on her face. If it were a different person, I'm guessing they would hesitate and think it over before accepting this mysterious "power," but I was different.

"I do," I replied eagerly without batting an eye.

"Your confusion has awakened me. I am your darkness, and you brought me to life. I will be your strength and you will be mine. Your pride will be your power; your power will be your pride. Desire for this power and accept the darkness,"

"I claim this power as I claim the darkness. Strengthen me!"

"Very well."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

I screamed with pain. My reflection stepped out of the mirror and embraced me trying to invade my soul. I felt the warmth and the chill all throughout my body. I felt naked, my body was freezing cold yet it seemed like fire was scorching me. My bones felt like they were being pulled from different directions. I was drowning in my own breath, suffocating. Everything was dark, I couldn't see anything, hear anything, nor smell anything; all there was left for me was the icy and boiling sensation coursing through my body. Every painful memory returned, every beautiful one flashed. I struggled: screaming, panting, coughing, crying, wheezing. The excruciating pain lasted for several minutes, but each minute felt like a day. Suddenly, all the agony subsided and I gasped, regaining my consciousness and senses. I opened my eyes and my body felt so light. My vision was clearer and more vivid. I felt like a brand new person. My mind and heart were united; they were thinking and feeling the same sensation: dark.

I felt something on my face. I faced the mirror and found myself wearing a black mask. The mask exuded a sophisticated expression and had a crown-like edge on top. As I held up my hand, I realised that I was wielding a whip. The handle felt dark: warm and cold. It's like holding ice under boiling water. The whip itself was made of black material. It glittered like glass crystals, felt like silver, and patterned like scales made of thorns.

As I was admiring my weapon, I didn't notice that time has returned to normal. The cubicle door slammed on the floor, surprising me. Tracy emerged from the cubicle wearing the white mask, holding an axe, and covered in black slime. She was growling as she approached me. If she would have done this rage on stage I would have hated her less. It's entertaining. Anyhow, this is not the time for a critique.

Usually, in situations like this, I would feel scared and weak. I guess my shadow turned off the switch in my brain labelled fear. I took my stance, gripped my whip, cracked it, and lashed Tracy. Minimum damage was dealt. She growled. I realised that no matter how cool I looked like, I was in bit of a disadvantage. The ladies' room was too small to use my whip's maximum capacity as a weapon. I stared at my whip. I clenched the handle hard and thought, "If only I had something shorter and sturdier." The moment I desired for a change of weapon, I saw the thin and long piece of black material shrink right before my eyes. It reduced its length and turned hard and sturdy. I held my new weapon up and gazed upon its appearance with awe. My whip is now a rapier.

While I was distracted with my rapier, Tracy ran towards me lunging her axe, boy, was she fast. I sidestepped and slashed her in her arm. She picked her axe and tried to chop me again; I stepped back and this time, pierced her shoulder. She screamed so loud. I'm afraid people might hear her. Sorry Tracy. I never meant to cause you some serious damage. Honestly, I wanted to hurt you, but not this way. Tracy continued screeching.

"Silence!" I shouted as I thrusted forward, but the drama hag evaded my attack. I pulled up, turned, and slashed Tracy making her lose her balance. She pulled her axe and threw it at me. I tried to evade, but it nicked my arm. Her axe shattered the mirror and got stuck on the wall. I wanted to end the fight, but I didn't want to kill Tracy. She was standing crookedly, defenceless. I felt sorry for her. She was dripping black slime and her mask looked sad and angry. Wait, that's it! The mask! The hooded man died when his mask was shattered.

I dashed towards Tracy and struck her abdomen with the bottom end of my sword's hilt. She growled with pain and fell on the floor. I flipped her over, sat on her, and tried to pry the mask from her face. She clawed at me and scratched me. I was bleeding. It took almost all my strength to remove the mask. Her mask was glued to her face with black slime. I pulled and I pulled until finally, I got it off her face. Tracy stopped struggling and lay motionless on the floor. I threw the mask behind me and checked for a pulse. She was still alive, thank God. I felt my mask vanish from my face like blowing on a dandelion. I shook her trying to wake her up. She opened her eyes very slowly.

"I-Isip? Is that you?" she whispered.

"Yes. Are you okay?" I answered.

"I-I guess," she sat and rubbed her temples. She irked and grabbed her shoulder which I pierced. I stood up and pulled her. I don't know how to explain all the damages dealt in the girl's bathroom. I put Tracy's arm around my shoulder to help her walk. I scanned the battle field which used to be the girls' bath room. It was a wreck. I caught a glimpse of her axe as it fell from the wall and on Tracy's mask, shattering it in pieces. I was surprised when Tracy screamed with pain and fell hard on the floor grabbing her chest. I tried to calm her down, but she screamed until she gagged. Black slime oozed out of her mouth, nostrils, and eyes. She was coughing and convulsing. I grabbed her shoulders and cried out her name. I didn't know what to do. Her shattered mask evaporated, so did her axe. I was crying, Tracy please stay with me. Don't do this to me. I may have disliked you, but I didn't wish for any of this to happen. I shouted for help; I screamed at the top of my lungs, calling out for help. Please, Tracy, live… She stopped gagging and her body stopped struggling. No… I leaned forward to listen to her breathing; I checked her pulse. She was dead. Her eyes rolled upward. No… This can't be happening. I pulled her and hugged her lifeless body. I held her tight; I didn't want to let go. I continued shouting for help, but no one came. Then, I felt her body shrink. I clenched on to her tighter; I didn't let go of her until I found myself hugging thin air. I embraced myself and wept. I was staring at blank space. Tracy evaporated. She evaporated! What the hell is happening?!

A few moments later, I heard the door open. Patrice walked in.

"Hey girl! What are you doing on the floor? Are you okay?" she asked as she quickly sat on the floor with me and embraced me. She put my head on her shoulder and stroked my back.

"I'm not okay, Trish," I replied, sobbing.

"Cass, tell me what happened," I was about to explain the wrecked ladies' room, but to my surprise, everything was back to normal. I couldn't believe my eyes. Just moments ago the room was completely wrecked. I stood up and touched the unshattered mirror. Impossible.

"Cass, you're freaking me out. What's wrong?" added Patrice, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"It's Tracy. She-she's gone, because of me," I sobbed and placed my face on my hands

"Tracy?"

"Yes. Tracy Macasaquit."

"Who is this Tracy Macasaquit? Is she a relative or a friend or something?" asked Patrice.

I looked up. "You don't know Tracy Macasaquit?"

Patrice shook her head with a genuine wonder painted on her face, "No, it's the first time I heard her name."