Habits Of Love

Mimi wandered down the road. She stared at the emptiness in a daze, her mind completely blank. The sourness and pain in her heart was overwhelming.

Tobias was in love with her.

She stopped and stared vacantly. The hands by her side could not help but tremble.

Why? Why did he love her?

Unable to think of it anymore, Mimi pulled out her phone and opened a contact. She stared at the number, her eyes somewhat empty. At a time like this, she could no longer think straight.

Right now, she needed a break. An escape.

"Hey…can you pick me up?"

…

At the park, the shadows of the trees blended into the darkness, their silhouettes against the sky growing less pronounced. Mimi leaned against a bench, her petite body almost blended into the night, her hair falling around her face.

"You know, it's dangerous to be alone at the park in the middle of the night."

Mimi looked up, and her violet pupils locked on the figure that stood before her. Met with a pair of bright, smiling eyes, her exquisite face held no superfluous expressions, and her eyes were firm and persistent.

The person she trusted the least in the world, at that moment, became the person she needed the most.

"Can you drive me somewhere?" Mimi asked in a quiet, hoarse voice.

An eyebrow raised on Shen Jue's face.

"Where do you want to go?"

Mimi lowered her head and stared at her hands. They tensed.

"Anywhere."

If she could escape for a while longer, she didn't care where he took her.

Shen Jue's bright pupils were focused on the girl and he finally released a light sigh.

"Come on. I know a place that might make you feel better."

Mimi was silent, but she nodded her head. Standing up from the bench, she followed Shen Jue to his car.

…

While Mimi did say she didn't care where he took her, she hadn't expected the place he brought her to be…

The fucking beach!

Not only was it dark out, but it was incredibly cold! Who the hell takes someone to the beach in the middle of the night when they're feeling down?!

"Isn't the breeze nice, little one?" Shen Jue smiled, his hands on his hips in a proud manner.

Mimi gave him no face and bluntly replied, "No. It's cold."

As if not hearing her complaints, Shen Jue walked further down the beach and began to take off his shoes. Mimi stared at him with her clear eyes, her mouth still slightly agape from the surprise.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking my shoes off of course. It's no fun to walk on the beach if you're wearing shoes."

"That's irrational." Mimi frowned. She was starting to regret calling him.

Shen Jue could not help but let out a chuckle when he saw her answer so seriously while holding a grim expression. "Come on little one, take your shoes off. We came here to relax, right? So let's relax."

To those words, Mimi turned completely stiff and motionless. Then, she tilted her head and stared at his handsome, smiling face, locking her eyes with his gentle gaze.

Muttering to herself, Mimi bent down to remove her shoes. Shen Jue had watched her actions with pleased eyes before he plopped himself down on the sand. When Mimi looked up, she saw the man patting an area of sand beside him.

The corners of her lips twitched and with a sigh, she walked over. Sitting down, the cold onshore breeze blew right through Mimi's shirt and she bowed her head to one side, closing her eyes to keep out the salty sting. The dampness of the sand was making its way through her skinny jeans, and she hugged her knees close.

Her hair fell loose above her face, tousled and tangled. Through narrowed eyes, she watches as each wave overlaps one another, sending the white bubbling crests descending, masking the shore with the transparent fading water.

In silence, the two continued to stare at the waves.

"It's pretty nice, isn't it? The sea?"

Mimi sounded a faint hum.

"You…" Shen Jue's voice suddenly softened. "You used to come here often with Emily, didn't you?"

In surprise, Mimi looked to the side but was not prepared for his sudden, penetrating gaze. She frowned.

"How did you know that?"

Shen Jue smiled. "Emily had a lot of pictures on her phone of the two of you. I asked her about it once, and she mentioned how you weren't allowed to leave the house, so she'd occasionally sneak you out and take you here or the park. She said—"

"Stop." Mimi's sharp voice suddenly cut him off. "I came here to escape from things like that, not talk about it."

"I see..." Shen Jue's eyes shifted. "Did something happen?"

In response, Mimi was silent and she lowered her head, her fists on her knees squeezing.

"You know…every time I speak with you Shen Jue…I feel sick. I always have." Mimi smiled coldly. "Every time you talk about her like that, I feel…"

Empty. Like all the memories she had with Emily were nothing but a wishful dream. That the Emily she had known was not hers.

With this thought, a chill ran through her body.

Meanwhile, Shen Jue let out a light sigh. "I understand the reason for your feelings. I get that you don't like me talking about her—little one, what are you doing?"

In the middle of his speaking, Mimi suddenly stood up.

"You get it?" Her tone was faint. "In the end, none of you get it. Nobody…Nobody understands it."

Shen Jue's wide eyes fixed upon her. "Little one, what—"

With her bare feet, chalky-white and goose-bumped from the cold, Mimi took a step into the icy water. The waves crashed in and over the hem of her jeans, soaking them. She took another step and another, never taking her eyes off the empty horizon where the gray sea met the gray sky.

"Hah…It's cold." Mimi laughed coldly to herself. "It's so cold…"

She detects the salty fragrance in the cold breeze and glances upward to catch a glimpse of the moon before a dark cloud erases its precious silver rays.

It's strange.

How hollow she felt…

She enclosed a world of nothing.

Things like love, she couldn't have. In this world, except for herself, she couldn't depend on anyone else. Because when relying on a person became a habit, that person will become your whole life.

But what happens when one day, that person leaves - who can you depend on?

People say pain tends to heal as time passes, but she didn't want to heal those wounds.

That kind of despair, Mimi has experienced before, an experience that was engraved in her bones and heart.

She didn't want to experience it again. She doesn't want to be that sad ever again. If she doesn't love anyone, then she won't be sad.

If having feelings for someone means someone will be sacrificed and get hurt... If that's what love means, then is it not horrible to fall in love with someone?

She didn't want it.

Mimi took a deep breath and tried to suppress those strange feelings. When she turned her gaze, she saw Shen Jue was standing behind her, silently watching her. She quickly took note that he had followed her into the water, his pants soaked.

However, as if he hadn't noticed the cold water, he just watched her.

Mimi looked at him, her eyes somewhat empty. Suddenly she smiled sadly. "Let's go back. I'm tired."

Shen Jue replied with his signature smile still hanging on his face and said, "All right, little one."

Mimi nodded and turned to walk back to shore when she suddenly felt something slimy beneath her feet. She froze, and a chill ran down her spine.

Squishy...

"There's something in the water!" Mimi squealed and jumped.

At that moment, she slipped and naturally standing beside her, Shen Jue caught her before she fell, using his body to cushion her fall. The sound of a loud splash resounded the area.

Hmm?

When Mimi felt something cold touch her lips, she abruptly opened her eyes and was immediately met with that graceful, handsome face up close. Her mind went completely blank.

You have to be fucking kidding…

Shen Jue's lips…were touching hers! She was kissing Shen Jue!

_______

Hello, readers! I wanted to relay an important message regarding the recent events going on in the world. Right now, people are fighting so hard right now. So please, sign petitions, make donations, make calls, text and more to support the black lives matter movement -

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Share it with others if you can to further spread the support. Let us seek justice for George Floyd, Brennon Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, Trayvon Marton, and the many black lives who have suffered enough injustice.