Consequences

In a few days' time Hye Jin left for the states, in the midst of tears and promises to write. The days without her were lonesome and quieter. As they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, I never truly understood what an integral part of my life she had become until she left. Never a day goes by without me missing her. Sometimes an incident or two would remind me of her and I would end up being sad and miserable all day long. However life went on. The Seoul University Entrance Exams were coming up. So I spent a great deal of my time in preparation for it. Even though Mr. Chairman promised Hye Jin for my admission in Seoul University, I wanted to get in through my merits rather than just his sponsorship.

A month went by and exams were over in the blink of an eye. The day the exams results were out, Grandma and I were both holding our breaths as we skimmed through the list of deserving candidates. When I saw my name came up on screen, I cried out as my joy knew no bounds. Grandma was crying tears of joys too as her emotions overwhelm her.

"Congrats Eun Su" she said as she embraced me tightly "I'm so proud of you"

"Thanks Grandma" I said as tears filled up my eyes.

"My little girl is now a University student. My how time flies!! I feel as if it was just yesterday when I dropped both Hye Jin and you on your first day of school"

"I wish Hye Jin was here" I said suddenly missing her so. Every milestones in my life, she had always been there with me every step of the way. My happiness felt incomplete without sharing it with her.

"Don't be sad. I know she'll be happy for you. She'll be so proud of you too" Grandma consoled me. "Why don't you write to her and share your good news?"

"Okay, I'll do just that"

That night as I opened up my email, I saw a mail from Hye Jin in the inbox. We had been communicating through mails ever since she left but the past two weeks she had been just too occupied with filling up campus forms, moving dorms, attending orientation and classes, etc she rarely had time to mail me as often. Hence, getting a mail from her brought a smile to my face as I eagerly opened it to see what she had to say.

Dearest Eun Su,

Sorry for not writing to you sooner. Hope you are as fine as I am. How is Grandma? I miss you both so much.

I've just moved into the girl's dorms within the campus premises. I'm sharing a room with two other girls. My roommates are nice and I'm learning to make friends here. So don't worry, I won't be too lonely. I started classes about a week ago. The teachers seemed nice and helpful though I sometimes have trouble understanding them. My English is not as good as yours. If you were here you would fit right in. Anyway I'm taking English classes.

I'd like to say I've become a model student like you. I found out that without you there to share the fun, the joy of getting into any kind of mischief is lost. So don't worry about me getting into any kind of trouble in the near future.

And Eun Su guess what, I met Ji Hu Sunbae. He was talking to some of the senior boys the other day and I just went ahead and introduce myself. Do you know he even remembered me. I guess being popular in school does have its merits. He was kind enough to show me around the campus. He treats me as a junior sister but my dear Eun Su be prepared, very soon you are going to be swept away by our amazing love story. Wish me luck okay.

What about you? How were your exams? Did you get in? I hope Dad kept his promise. Write to me okay.

Your best friend always,

Hye Jin

Dearest Hye Jin,

I just got your mail. Grandma and I are both fine. We both miss you so much.

I'm glad you are settling in nicely to campus life. Make lots of friends but don't forget about me okay. Good to hear you are taking English classes. It would help you a lot in the long run.

It is good that you have decided to curb your mischiefs but don't be too much of a goody two shoes otherwise I would never be able to recognise you. You wouldn't be Hye Jin if you do not get into one mischief or the other.

Its good to learn that you have a fellow clansman in Ji Hu Sunbae. You would not be so lonely anymore in such a foreign environment. Know that my best wishes are with you always and I'm rooting for the both of you. You two would be a perfect match.

By the way I just got the results of the exams and I got in. So I'll be attending Seoul University two weeks from now. Don't worry Mr. Chairman kept his word for the sponsorship.

Anyway its late at night, so I'll write again some other day.

Your best friend always,

Eun Su

As I got offline and laid down to rest, Hye Jin's mail was still on my mind. When she mentioned Ji Hu Sunbae, my heart skipped a beat. No matter how hard I try, my mind kept drifting back to the night in Jeju Island. I was never envious of Hye Jin before, but just then I was. I was envious of her courage to pursue what she truly wanted. But I knew that if Hye Jin and Ji Hu Sunbae became a couple, I would just have to be contend watching the two people that I love more than life be together from afar.

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The next two days I caught a stomach flu. I lost my appetite and was always retching my guts out. My Grandma finally took pity on me and sent me to the hospital where I underwent a series of tests. After examining all the reports, the doctor finally came to a conclusive diagnosis. What he said afterwards shocked the both of us into silence.

The rest of the walk home passed in a daze; neither of us said a word, each of us too lost in thoughts of the repercussions that were soon to follow.

"Pregnant" my Grandma said "You're pregnant" as she sat down on the edge of the bed in her room.

"But how? Where?" she asked bewilderly.

"Don't tell me in Jeju Island"

I didn't know what to say to her. I myself was still recovering from the shock of it all.

"Just what kind of trouble did you girls get yourself into there? I trusted you both. I should never have allowed you to go" she cried out.

"Don't blame Hye Jin Grandma. She had nothing to do with it. It was all my fault" I said as I sat by her knees. "I was just stupid and selfish"

"So who is the father?" she asked.

"It was a boy I met on the island. He left Korea not too long ago" I replied.

"Then what are you doing to do?"

All the way home, I had thought and thought about the choices I would have to make and how they would impact my life. I knew this moment would be a turning point in my life from which there would be no turning back.

"I want to keep the baby and be a Mom to it" I said truthfully.

"Do you really understand what you are saying?" By the look on her face I knew she was worried that I truly did not comprehend the results of the choice I was making.

"Yes, I understand fully but I intend to be true to my decision" I reassured her.

"Oh my heart!!" she cried out as tears flowed freely from her eyes. "How am I ever going to face your Mom in heaven knowing that I didn't take better care of her precious daughter. Its all my fault for not raising you right"

"Oh grandma" I held on to her hands and cried out "Please don't blame yourself. The fault is all mine. I have not been a filial granddaughter to you. But don't worry I will never let anyone slander your name because of me."

"Grandma, I have decided. I'm leaving Busan and going to Seoul. People would think that I went to attend University and so would the Kangs. No one would be any wiser."

I had thought long and hard and this was the only choice I could come up it. "The only thing I'll regret is leaving you behind and not getting a chance to make it up to you for all the grief I've caused. For once I leave I don't know if I could ever come back but Grandma please find it in your heart to forgive this unfilial granddaughter of yours."

As I ended saying my piece, my heart was breaking inside as I left my Grandma there and ran to my room.

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It was late in the night, when my Grandma came into my room. I was in bed, my pillow wetted by the tears I cried when I felt her sitting beside me as she gently brush down my hair.

"Eun Su, please look at me" she asked.

I turned towards her and quickly sat up on the bed.

"Eun Su, here these are for you" she said as she pressed a passbook and her stamp in my hand.

"Why are you giving me these?" I was confused.

"Eun Su, all these years while working for the Kangs I've had some money saved up. I thought it might come in handy if we're going to Seoul. Its not much but it should be enough to get us by" she explained.

"We?"

I was scared of going alone to Seoul, but I knew I could never be selfish enough to make my Grandma leave the place she called home for all these years.

"Yes we. If you have to leave then we're leaving together. I'll never make the same mistakes with you as I made with your Mom. In the past, I let your Mom leave and I was too late to make amends. This time I'm not letting you go"

"But Grandma what about the Kangs? What about your home?" I protested.

"The Kangs will find an efficient housekeeper in no time. And my home is wherever you are. I'll hear no more objections. No matter what the future holds, we will face it together"

I was both humbled and grateful for the love she had for me. I knew many hardships stood our way but with Grandma by my side, I would try to be courageous and face them all with a smile.