Moving On

I woke up with a start to the sound of the alarm clock ringing by my bedside. The time showed 6 am as I reluctantly got up, showered and started making breakfast. I had just set the table when Grandma walked in.

"You're up early" she remarked.

"Yes, Manager Hwang wants me to come in early to discuss the planning details for the upcoming JH Group Jewelry Exhibition that is going to be held next week" I replied.

"You're seldom home these days. You go in early and come home late. I'm worried if you don't slow down, you are going to make yourself sick" Grandma pointed out.

"Don't worry so much Grandma" as I went and hug her from behind. "You as well as I know how much the money I earn by working overtime means to the both of us"

"I know but that does not make me feel better. I just wish you had someone to share the burden with. You don't even let me work anymore or I could have share some of it with you" Grandma sighed.

"Grandma, you have been working your whole life. You have done more than your fair share for me. Now its my turn. Let me be a filial granddaughter to you this time around" I replied. "Besides I'm so much at ease knowing you are there for the kids. You know how much they need you"

"They need you more you know" Grandma pointed out.

No one knew that more than I but with trying to meet ends I rarely had time to spent quality time with them. In these past years I've tried hard to be good mother but it was not easy being a single parent.

"Okay I promise once everything is solved, we'll take the kids along for a nice long family vacation. We could even visit our hometown. You would like that wouldn't you?"

"Okay I just pray everything works out for the best" Grandma finished.

"Are the kids still asleep? They are going to be late for school"

Grandma was the one who would wake up the kids each day for school as I prepared breakfast. That was our daily routine. They should have been up and about by now for their school started out early. But I had not seen hide nor hair of them since before.

"They don't have school today so I'll wake them up in a little while" Grandma replied.

"How are the kids liking the new school?" We had just moved into a new neighborhood and the school was just a couple of blocks away from it. They had just enrolled in the new school and I was quite worried about them adjusting in a new environment.

"Byeol has become the teacher's pet" Grandma replied. "That girl is so smart and inquisitive always the first to finish any task the teacher hands over. Combined with her sunny and rambunctious nature it did not take her long to win over all the teachers. Whenever I meet them, they are full of praises for her." A touch of pride could be heard in her voice at the mention of her precious great grandchild.

"And Joon? What about him?" I asked anxiously. I was more worried about him than Byeol and I had ample reasons to be so.

"Joon is such a quiet child the complete opposite of Byeol. You know how he is, never utters a word unless spoken to, never mingles with anyone except his sister though he is as smart as his sister. The teachers are worried about his introverted nature. I know you are worried about him too but that is just who he is. Its just that he rarely likes to draw attention to himself, happy to be in the back drop of his sister's light. He just needs time and patience. One of these days he will surely find his footing."

"Don't worry Eun Su. The kids are going to be just fine. You just have to have faith in them. That is what being a parent is all about" Grandma concluded.

"Mommy??" Byeol call out as she came in. In her baby pink night suit, she looked to be all of her 5 year old self.

"Honey are you awake?" I asked as I gently ruffle her hair. "Where is Joon? Is he awake too?"

"He is still asleep. He had a nightmare last night so I just tug him in and sung him to sleep like you used to do" she replied sleepily as she rub the sleep out of her eyes.

"He had a nightmare? You should have woken Mommy up" I exclaimed.

"I didn't want to disturb you. You were working late. Besides I was there for him in your stead" she replied readily. "Don't worry Mommy, I won't let anybody bully Joon. I'll take good care of him for you" As I held the little girl in my arms, my heart ached for she sometimes acted so much older than her young age.

"I know honey. As long as his big sister is there no one could harm Joon. But you do know Mommy is always there for you both. You could always come to me when you feel scared okay."

"Okay" she agreed as she let me hug her more.

"She sometimes reminds me of Hye Jin so much" Grandma said. "I miss her"

I had the same thought. Byeol very much reminded me of Hye Jin, the best friend whom I hadn't seen for the past six years. "I miss her too Grandma"

"Mommy who is Hye Jin?" Byeol asked as she stared at me.

"She is your aunt sweetheart and Mommy's best friend"

"How come I have never met her?" She was curious of this aunt she had never met, this aunt who was so like her in many ways. She had heard mention of her from time to time sometimes from her Grandma and sometimes from her Mom. But she had never had an opportunity to ask about her.

"She is in America right now. When she comes back I promise I will let you two meet." I replied.

"Mommy has to go to work now. So give Mommy a hug and be good to Grandma okay"

"Okay" she said as she reluctantly let me go.

_____________________________________________________________________

It had been six long years since my arrival in Seoul and with time past I felt I had adapted to Seoul as Seoul had to me. Long gone was the naive country girl and in its place was a modern chic woman in her two piece business suit with her hair pulled back to form a sophisticated bun as I rode the subway on my way to work. I had travel a long and tedious road as I made my way step by step to reach the position which I now held. I was an Assistant Manager in one of the hotel chains held by the JH Group of Industries, one of the biggest conglomerate in Korea.

Looking back at all the hurdles that came my way whether at work or in my personal life I realize that they had all colluded to shape up the person I was today. They had made me braver and stronger to face whatever life throws my way, to move on from girlish dreams of yesteryear and to finally let go of the past.

I had long past left behind the Kangs who had sponsored me, I left behind Hye Jin as well who had been more than a sister to me and I had left behind Ji Hu Sunbae as well.

I had news of them from time to time since they often appear in the news. The Kangs were still focused in expanding their business and had made their move in the international market. As for Hye Jin, she was popular too being an Asian fashion designer who was renowned internationally. She had kept her promise and made me real proud of her. I was just sorry I couldn't keep my promise to her.

I never heard from Ji Hu Sunbae again. I didn't know whether he was still in America or even if he was back. He came into my life like a storm and swept me away in its wake but I never regretted any of it. It was hard at first to let him go seeing his impressions in the faces of my children but with time I got used to it and finally allowed myself to let him go.

I had finally let go of the old me and became a much better and stronger person.