RedCeiling

[Completed]:
Volume 1: Loss of a firm hold.

[Upcoming]:
Volume 2: Intertwined fingers.

[Excerpt]:
"I think I love you," I told him. The feeling of wanting to be with him for the rest of the time started the day he first visited me at the orphanage.

"You do, and I love you too." Then he walked nearer, "Promise me it'll be the two of us," he asked.

"Promise." 

But was that really possible? "I'm technically your sister," I said. We were old enough to understand certain things.

"Adopted." He stressed. "What I asked them was I wanted to you be with me forever. There will be no one to point on that," he said. Were things really that simple? But listening him say them was all I needed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found out that I was pregnant almost a fortnight ago and which woman does not be happy? I wanted to tell him first and I did. But the reaction he gave made me doubt my entire life. First it was a surprise and then, as I waited for his response, I watched his eyes become happy. But before he smiled, a very small and indecipherable frown appeared and he hugged me tight not giving me a chance to read his face anymore. His breathing was quick and heavy. After he released me, I took in the smile on his face; only, I didn't know if I should call it a smile. All there was in his eyes was a hue of sadness.

"What's wrong?" I questioned him directly. His face changed once again. He seemed troubled.

"Nothing," he smiled and added that he was happy.

"You're not," I stated. He is not a fool to think that I would not know when something is wrong. And he would be more wrong to think that I would let this slip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Look at me.” I said calmly. He shifted his head but still avoided my eyes. I walked up to him and put my eyes in his line of sight.

“Don’t you know what I mean ‘every day’?”

He took a quick step back. “Jessie, what’s wrong? Why are you like this?” What’s wrong?

An ear piercing sound rang through the room. I slapped hard across the face. Then I noticed that I started crying. Through my blurry eyes, I saw his eyes tearing up too. This was yet another unpleasant first. The first time I was forced to slap him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you okay?” I asked him lifting my head to see his face. His chin rested on my head and I still did not have a proper look. I tried to move my head slowly in another attempt, but he held me tight, not letting me move. Was he still crying? Perhaps that was why he did not like me seeing him.

When we were kids and something troubled him, he used to find me to let it out. Crying was included sometimes. He did not hide his tears back then. Because, boys did not particularly cry in front of their girls, I questioned him how he saw this once. It was a playful teasing that I aimed at. But, he gave me a serious and truthful confession in return. Mentally I am the stronger one and he told me that crying in front of me never felt like he was lowering himself. That was his level of acceptance.

But everything he is doing now is in a stark controversy to my beliefs.

He spoke after calming himself more, “I’m not.”

[Target Audience]:
This story has 3 volumes. From the name, it is not odd that this is totally based on love. The first volume is a little tragic, the reason why it is under realistic fiction. If tragic romance upsets you, then this might as well.

**[UNEDITED]**
I didn't proof read all the parts. But I usually keep an eye to check for mistakes as I write. So hopefully there are not too many of them. Will be editing soon.

Struggle Of Love

But it only sounded like he was playing dare with someone; only, no one was around to witness. Or was there someone that I could not see? It's just so inconsistent to be true. I asked him just that. He said it was no joke.


I didn't know what to say. I looked away to the side to catch the sun that was dropping low through the infinite cloudy skies that covered the two of us. He too looked up, I noticed from my peripheral view. It was a beautiful view we witnessed. The violet hue with a mix of peach and pink while the sun smeared in an orangish red. I was so happy. He told me he likes me.


I turned to him. He was looking into the far. The slight breeze was making his soft dark hair flow with it. "Sai," I called.


"Yeah?" He answered, not leaving the sky off his sight.


My gaze landed on the horizon and not a little above where the clouds eat the sun up, millimetre by millimetre. Soon, I realised that watching a sunset completely, from start to end, has been a small wish that was just granted to me.


"The sun's going down. Keep looking or you'll miss it!" I said, that was he was doing before though and my actions seemed unreasonable. Sai didn't say anything and continued watching the sun. The sun slowly set under the both of our eyes and it marked the end of it. That topic has never been a matter again.


With him now graduating, I have another year here.


Years have passed. It is silly how I even had a crush on him. I should have gotten over it the moment he slapped me, but I could not. But now, I am, finally. I remember how my cheek stung and how the sound echoed in my head. I never questioned him. It made me sad for a week. He could have politely rejected me. After all, I wasn't asking for a dedicated relationship. I knew we were too young and I had my own issues. He knew everything and yet his actions were far from rational.


We have remained friends. The two seniors, James and Jessica had a wedding two years ago, the youngest married couple among all of our high school perhaps. They had been together even before Sai and I met them. And finally, Jessica Rosa Fallon became Jessica Rosa Weeners.


Fern is still the same bubbly girl. Ton, I do not have much information on him as he moved to another country a year ago.


However, the major and most important thing to mention is, Sai is my friend, sure. But deep down in my heart, I started to see him as a rival. A fruit of our friendship, one could say. How? Watching him closely becoming all important, watching how everyone prefers him, and watching how he had just no enemies, makes me envious. I am not a sinless person, I admit. Well, shouldn't he need an enemy? I will be one, because I cannot help it. He stays with his elder brother. I have never met his parents and I highly doubt they are even alive. It does not feel right to say such a thing without any prior knowledge. But I say so because whenever the topic surfaced he would ignore us or he would turn a sad face for us to understand it was not be spoken then.


He is just too good to be around me. The feeling that I am nothing but his friend creeps in when we are in the crowd. If someone says they would be fine with it, I will not believe them. I lose my patience but he is the calmest person I have come across, ignoring the slap. He is always smiling. I now understand myself fully well. I am jealous of him, and this negative feeling only kept growing, when he continued being my closest friend, per say to me though. I hated him on this much before I recognised it myself. And so, I have taken his confession to be an outright pointless group of words put together, more than just a humourless lame joke.


But I don't plan on showing him any of it. I should try and I will. If I do, I will be the one left alone. That is the gravity he held over every friend I have. All thanks to Sai, I have to endure this until God knows when.


Intro: Value of Confession