RedCeiling

[Completed]:
Volume 1: Loss of a firm hold.

[Upcoming]:
Volume 2: Intertwined fingers.

[Excerpt]:
"I think I love you," I told him. The feeling of wanting to be with him for the rest of the time started the day he first visited me at the orphanage.

"You do, and I love you too." Then he walked nearer, "Promise me it'll be the two of us," he asked.

"Promise." 

But was that really possible? "I'm technically your sister," I said. We were old enough to understand certain things.

"Adopted." He stressed. "What I asked them was I wanted to you be with me forever. There will be no one to point on that," he said. Were things really that simple? But listening him say them was all I needed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found out that I was pregnant almost a fortnight ago and which woman does not be happy? I wanted to tell him first and I did. But the reaction he gave made me doubt my entire life. First it was a surprise and then, as I waited for his response, I watched his eyes become happy. But before he smiled, a very small and indecipherable frown appeared and he hugged me tight not giving me a chance to read his face anymore. His breathing was quick and heavy. After he released me, I took in the smile on his face; only, I didn't know if I should call it a smile. All there was in his eyes was a hue of sadness.

"What's wrong?" I questioned him directly. His face changed once again. He seemed troubled.

"Nothing," he smiled and added that he was happy.

"You're not," I stated. He is not a fool to think that I would not know when something is wrong. And he would be more wrong to think that I would let this slip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Look at me.” I said calmly. He shifted his head but still avoided my eyes. I walked up to him and put my eyes in his line of sight.

“Don’t you know what I mean ‘every day’?”

He took a quick step back. “Jessie, what’s wrong? Why are you like this?” What’s wrong?

An ear piercing sound rang through the room. I slapped hard across the face. Then I noticed that I started crying. Through my blurry eyes, I saw his eyes tearing up too. This was yet another unpleasant first. The first time I was forced to slap him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you okay?” I asked him lifting my head to see his face. His chin rested on my head and I still did not have a proper look. I tried to move my head slowly in another attempt, but he held me tight, not letting me move. Was he still crying? Perhaps that was why he did not like me seeing him.

When we were kids and something troubled him, he used to find me to let it out. Crying was included sometimes. He did not hide his tears back then. Because, boys did not particularly cry in front of their girls, I questioned him how he saw this once. It was a playful teasing that I aimed at. But, he gave me a serious and truthful confession in return. Mentally I am the stronger one and he told me that crying in front of me never felt like he was lowering himself. That was his level of acceptance.

But everything he is doing now is in a stark controversy to my beliefs.

He spoke after calming himself more, “I’m not.”

[Target Audience]:
This story has 3 volumes. From the name, it is not odd that this is totally based on love. The first volume is a little tragic, the reason why it is under realistic fiction. If tragic romance upsets you, then this might as well.

**[UNEDITED]**
I didn't proof read all the parts. But I usually keep an eye to check for mistakes as I write. So hopefully there are not too many of them. Will be editing soon.

Struggle Of Love

The next morning I woke up fresh, ready to do some jog outside. Jessie stopped going for her morning jogs months ago, she wanted to go with me or not. How sad, I go now, but can't really let her see how weak I am; it will be more and more obvious during the jog. Jessie was sleeping farther when I opened my eyes. She rolled out of my arms to the other edge somewhere into the night. She is a graceful sleeper, but if she is to move even a little from her current position further away to the other side, she would fall off. I got up from the bed and walked around to her side. I bent down and carefully and slowly pushed her in a little bit so as to not wake her up; she was deep in her sleep. The blanket was covering her face while her legs were out of it. I covered her legs smoothing out some part of the blanket. Then I walked away towards the window. Outside, the dawn was cold with the fog just lifting. It was pretty early; the sun wasn't up either.


I knew exercise is not a complete solution. A careful balance involving a lot of things and a very good diet will give me at most six months more, meaning I'd have at most three years from now. I put on some sweatpants and quietly exited the room and went downstairs. Our parents we're also asleep. It was calm and I knew I'd to return in an hour before mom wakes up.


There is a park within 500 meters and that's where I head to daily. I started jogging slowly.


I was awake all along. He didn't know. Like any other day, my husband woke up early in the morning and was out on the road. It was hard to keep up my act of being asleep when he made sure I wouldn't fall off the bed. I had to clutch the blanket t my face or he'd have seen my tear stained face. I observed him like always. He wakes up, turns to me, stays in that position for a little while, staring at my back, then gets up, stands before the window, freshen up, change, slowly close the door after he's out.


That is when I stand up and walk towards the window. In a short while he appears and my eyes follow him until he disappears around a corner.


Then I sit back on the bed and think about us until the sun rays gradually brighten up our room. Then I would wipe my face and lie back down. 


Soon after, James would quietly enter our room, check if I am still asleep, then go to the bathroom to wash up. When he comes out I would not be asleep anymore and he thinks the sound of the water woke me up.


This has been going on for at least twenty days now. I know he is keeping something important from me. It is worrying me. During the start of our marriage, I would drag him out for a morning jog. That time, he never showed any interest. But now, he seems much interested. Then, what is the problem in telling that to me? Would I not be an amazing companion? Did he not know how happy that would make me?


I found out that I was pregnant almost a fortnight ago and which woman does not be happy? I wanted to tell him first and I did. But the reaction he gave made me doubt my entire life. First it was a surprise and then, as I waited for his response, I watched his eyes become happy. But before he smiled, a very small and indecipherable frown appeared and he hugged me tight not giving me a chance to read his face anymore. His breathing was quick and heavy. After he released me, I took in the smile on his face; only, I didn't know if I should call it a smile. All there was in his eyes was a hue of sadness.


"What's wrong?" I questioned him directly. His face changed once again. He seemed troubled.


"Nothing," he smiled and added that he was happy.


"You're not," I stated. He is not a fool to think that I would not know when something is wrong. And he would be more wrong to think that I would let this slip.
