ANGEL OF HOPE.

In The Beginning

The class captain hit the desk viciously thrice like a court clerk that was excited to get a case started "Stand up and greet!" He bellowed and we all rose up tiredly and gave a prolong good afternoon. "Gooooooodddddddd aaaaffternnoonn Miss Paula!" We grumbled tiredly.

Miss Paula (Our young English teacher) strode into the class with an air of over confident linguist. She didn't acknowledge our greeting but she bade us sit down "Bring out your textbooks and open to page 156. We will treat the nasal; note that it is pronounced as /neizl/ sound /n/. Everybody say /n/"

Some of us were already giggling. Miss Paula speaks nasally naturally and teaching a nasal sound made her articulation more ridiculous. "Hmmmmm!!!!" We all mimicked and broke into laughter.

"Hey wait, wait, wait!" She snapped angrily "What's wrong with all of you? it's /n/ and not hmmmm!" She said with undisguised contempt at us but we were not scared of her anymore. We now have a repellant magic to counter her fears and any or all other teachers for that matter and the magic is that we were now in SS3 and no one can beat us anymore.

"Hmmm!!!" We echoed nasally.

"Whatever!" She shot back "Now pronounce these words: Nation, name, known…."

"Hey Mike!" Rose whispered behind me "Check under your locker, I put a note there" She said as the rest of us were still battling correct pronunciation of Miss Paula's nasal words. I opened my locker and saw the note that she was talking about. Real carefully, I glanced at Ms. Paula and discovered that she was not looking at me then I opened the letter and read:

"Xup M?,

I didn't see you yesternight and was up all night. Your no 2 didn't go n I was worried sick about you but it's good to see you up and smiling this morning. Let's meet at the usual place during the break time. I still care for U my boo.

Yours, R.

P.S: My cousin is now around. U remember her? Monica. She's been pestering me that she wants 2 see U. Maybe when U come in the evening 2day U two will meet. Hava 9ce day !" That was the content of her letter. I was thinking about replying when Ms. Paula magically materialized in front of my desk!

"Let me have that." She said "Let me have that note." She repeated and stretched her hand but I didn't give her.

"It's nothing ma" I said defensively "It's just a piece of paper that I'm working on…" I said, tightening my fist on the paper and hoping that it would be destroyed. It would be a big scandal should it be known to the students . It's not that I'm the only one who sends and receives letters, almost all the students in high school do that but whoever was caught with it will be so disgraced by the teachers and mocked by the students for a very long time and would be labeled with the nickname "L.L" which means love letter. I had to do something to save myself, I thought frantically as Ms. Paula stood like an immovable mountain in front of my desk, stretching her hand like a snake, stretching its fang to snatch an innocent insect.

"She is looking for you ma" I said, looking and pointing past Ms. Paula as if someone was actually standing behind her. The magic worked because she spurned around to see who it was and by then I've quickly thrown the paper back to Rose and told her to keep it before she could turn back to me. The whole class erupted into a wild rumbling laughter. This really angered her to the extent that her eyes became bloodshot red and burning with fury "Stand up and follow me, as for the rest of you in the class, you will spend the rest of the day in the school's garden tilling and uprooting weeds" she said and stormed out of the class. The class came alive with murmurings and whispers but I was too busy, thinking about my fate in the hands of the unforgiving teachers that we have in our school than the ordinary murmuring of my classmates.

She led me to the main staff room that all students nicknamed "Danger and no fly zone" because whoever enters there (I'm talking about students now) for any wrong doing will never forget the corporal punishments that all the 20 teachers in the staffroom will inflict on him/her. In the middle of the staffroom, a very big circle had been drawn; as a matter of fact, it was there when I got admission into JSS1 six years back and was still there by the time I was ushered into the place. Two heavy rocks were inside the circle and in the middle of the circle, "Welcome to Cuban island was written in capital letter and the stones were nicknamed 'heavy laden'.

When we got in, she fumed and sputtered like an expired motorcycle and all other teachers listened somewhat pitifully at her and spitefully at me as she casted the story. When she was done, all of them tried my case and decided then that I was guilty of the offence so they sentenced me to strokes of cane. "You are in trouble today" Said Mr. Cane happily. He was only and truly happy when there is a criminal to be sentenced to serious stroking which solely was his duty and responsibility and that's why we called him the 'baddest flogger'. The students called him Mr. Cane in his absence. "Kneel down!" he boomed as he took a cane from his table and approached me with predative dexterity. I knelt down as instructed. I was afraid of the pains he would inflict on me but I put on a bold face because I must not cry, should I cry, the disgrace from the students will be eternal. He gave me twelve painful lashes across my back and all the while my flesh tingled under the intense pain as if it would tear. Somewhere in the middle of the assault, I wanted to cry out and beg for mercy but I didn't. when he was done, he went back to his seat and joined the other teachers as they all tongue-lashed me. None of them said anything good about me but teachers are known for hating students; especially handsome and popular ones like me. Next was Mrs. Micah who was nicknamed chipmunk because of her high pitched voice and childish behaviors. She came to where I was kneeling down and stood above me like the witch of Oz. "Idiot" she began "you know that The Nigerian Postal Service is almost non-functioning anymore. Any moment from now, the federal govt. may shut its doors and all its workers – including your mum who is the breadwinner of your family would be jobless. Instead of you to be serious and be a good boy, you've made yourself the king in this school with a chain of girlfriends. I pity your life" she said and flogged me as much as her thin hands could allow. Three more teachers flogged me after that and said some derogatory things about me but I silently cursed them all and wished that they would leave me alone. I spent the rest of that day in Cuban Island with the rocks that were put in the middle of the terrific circle. i carried the heavy laden, bending down and going round the circle in 360 degree many times, depending on the gravity of my offence.

I couldn't go to school the following day because I was to weak from the cruel punishments of the previous day. When my mum asked me why, I lied that I have malaria. She didn't argue with me but she didn't believe me either. She left me at home and left for her office. My sibs(who were still in pry school) too departed and I was left all alone in our three bedroom flat. I took my birth after cleaning the house and ate my breakfast. I retired back to the living room to watch the season film I bought a couple of days back (and it was part of the reasons why I decided to stay at home.). The movie was interesting and Kun Jung Pyo was my role model. I like the way he handled the flock of his girls and maintained his handsomeness without blemish. I was still watching episode 6 when PHCN interrupted the power supply. Damn it!

I became bored and lonely. Had I gone to school, we would be on break by then and I would see my friends to play with and lots of things to keep me busy, lively and happy. I took a novel but my mind was far away. I know I should be studying hard for my WAEC but reading any of the subjects is as boring as it could ever get. I became moody and frustrated. I wondered what was wrong with me. When I was in Primary school, I was the best in all subjects through all the classes there. I was the favorite kid of the teacher and the hero of my mum- everyone was singing my praises. Everyone believed that my bright-shining star will not dim and that I would continue to be the best all through and I was still the best in JSS1 and the first term in JSS2. I still remember vividly my result for second term in JSS2. I had gotten 7 Ds and only 4 Cs. My mom had looked at the result and then gave my skull a penetrating look as if conducting an x-ray to check if the brain is still there in my big skull. "What happened?" She had asked. "Why this descent from As to Ds?"

"Mum don't mind the teachers. Mathematics teacher failed me because I was late to her class at the beginning of the term and I know that the witch was still mad at me for that. Social Studies teacher …"

My mother cuts in sharply.

"Shut up! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? All the teachers hate you, why? Are you the only one in the whole school? Listen to me my friend, do whatever it takes to make all the teachers love you back. I'm tired of this result and I don't want to see it again!" she had said.

Instead of changing for better, I became worse. I read less and played more. My next result was worse than the previous one and I moved from being among the top three in the class to among the least three. My mom scolded and flogged me then she cried. "Do you want all my efforts over you to be wasted? What else do you want that I'm not doing? I alone without a husband or family have to put roof over our heads, pay yours and your sibs school fees, feed all of you and clothe you! Is this how to pay me back ? you are disgrace to this family, a big ingrate!"

That day, I decided to change. It's true, my mum was doing the best that she could to make sure that we are educated but I'm too stupid to appreciate that. I decided to leave my friends who made me play and embrace my books like I used to do before but that resolution didn't last for long because immediately I saw those boys, I forgot all about my mum's pleas and misery.

The story became a little different when I got to the senior classes. I stopped all the dirty plays but I didn't read either. Instead, I became addicted to my looks. I would spend hours in front of mirrors, combing my hair, pulling my scanty beard and trying very hard to look posh. I carried combs with me everywhere I went. Immediately a teacher leaves the class, I'll quickly comb my hair before the next one comes in. I became totally unfascinated and uninterested in books. I found it difficult to pay attention to the teachers' teachings in classes and shunned assignments. During all those turbulent years for me, my brain seemed as if it had deserted my big head and the worst part, I didn't us to remember whatever little I read at very rare times when I decided to be serious except things I read from romance novels that inspired me and this eventually made me to give up. I knew that if my father was alive, it would have been very different because he was a no nonsense man. He monitored me through primary school and flogged me hard at times when I miss marks that most parents would overlook and he instilled in me strict discipline that made me to pay attention to whatever I was taught but when he died, I became free and unchecked till things go out of hand.

The cause of my addiction to my looks was the admission of a boy named Dayo into our class when we were in SS1. He was honestly the most handsome boy in the whole school and girls that that I've been chasing and some of which has shunned me are all crazy about the guy. So the one sided battle began. I became jealous and despise the guy for no reason and I thought that if I pay more attention to my looks, I'll look better than him.

From SS1 to 3, I was promoted on trial and I was grateful to God for that. The thought of repeating a class was inconceivable and it would have marred my image (especially among girls who liked me).

My mind wondered back to the present and I tried to let the past go. That evening, Rose came to our house to 'check on me' and say sorries for being the cause of my punishments and pains. Rose was my gf. We started JSS1 together and we were always competing for the first position in class then but in JSS2, I dropped but she didn't. She continued to be the best and it was easy for her because I that was her major concern was off the radar so she has been the best since then till we graduated from the school. On many occasions she had called and advised me about my grades and I told her that I would change. I started getting interest in her in SS2 because by then she was made the Senior girl and her beauty blossomed like a flower after rainfall. She was everything a girl supposed to be; she was the school's choir leader, the drama cord, the fastest girl runner, the best dancer and the most brilliant girl in the whole school. Many guys (including my rival) were head over heels to win her. When she decided to be in art class, many people were surprised and shocked. Everyone obviously wanted her to be in science class because of the kind of brain she has but she told them that she wants to be a lawyer and that's why she chose art class and that was how we were in the same department. Though she got there by choice, I got to art class by being out of choice. With the level of my academic performance, I was thrown to art class even on trial and with the only one option that I should accept that or I repeat so I accepted. Otherwise, I would have gone to science class because I love science with passion though I didn't have the brains for it. Then we believed that the best students are in science class, average students are in the commercial department and that 'the rest are in art class and this is the group of people who are intellectually handicapped and academically imbeciles! Ah, ah!

She accepted to be my gf after much persuasion and with the intention of changing me back to my brilliant self within six months. Since then, we've been exchanging letters and roses. Sometimes we would steal our parents' mobile phones to call each other. Times without number, we've studied together but on those times my mind was never in what we were reading but on her lips and how wonderful it would be to kiss her but I never did because she never allowed me to anyway.

The WAEC exam came. Some of us were optimistic and serious but most of us (including myself) were not so happy and not well prepared. To make me serious, my mom promised to buy me an android phone(something I've been pestering her to buy for me since I was in SS1) should I make my papers once. I became excited with this challenge but I realized later and with sink feelings that I would never get it because I didn't have what it takes intellectually to pass WAEC, even at credit level so I gave up the challenge almost that day. I accepted the fact that I won't get the phone and that I would be among those that would be finding answers to the questions before sitting for the exam itself.

I must confess here that when I told my mum that I've seen someone who will help me for the answers at the rate of N10,000 she bluntly refused to help me. "Listen up" she said " I won't give you a dime. Use your brain and stop engaging in illegal activities. If you are caught, you will be imprisoned and I promise that I won't even come to check on you let alone fight for you." She said. When I discovered that meant every word she had just said, I became scared and agitated. There was no uncle or aunty I could run to.

I knew that my mum had money locked inside her room but the key to her wardrobe was so strong that unless you have the right keys, there is no hope of getting in. I asked some of my friends and they thought me many methods. My favourite among those methods was the burning candle trick. I did it and it worked perfectly. I took N5000 from the wardrobe and locked it back .

She didn't notice till a week later but by then I've paid deposit for the 'runs'. "Michael, did you enter my room?" she asked sternly a week later.

"Your room? When, what for?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"Hey. Just answer my question!" She snapped, looking piercingly at my eyeballs. I almost confess but I didn't .

"No mum" I lied but with guilt written all over my face.

"Alright" She said and left. I knew she knew that I took it but she couldn't prove it.

We finished the WAEC in June and that was the end of our six years together in high school. On the last day of the examination, we tried to make it as memorable as possible. Yoruba language was the paper slated for that day so almost all of us wore native dresses. Those who didn't wear a complete dress wore native caps to show their native touch. The teachers had a hellish morning in getting us out of our funny attires. Most of them were at the gate, preventing us from entering the school premises unless we were properly clad in the school uniform that we've been wearing for six years.

The paper was to start by 10am but we were not allowed into the school premises from 8 till that time. The teachers were equally catching fun as we all stayed at the gate till our supervisor comes and entered the school. We then decided to call off the pranks and we brought out our uniforms from our bags and changed into them right there at the school gates, boys and girls alike!

After the paper, we changed back into our funny attires and decided to have the last fun in the school. Somehow some resourceful ones among us (like myself) had found broken buckets and plastics then the singing began and we all sang and drummed as if possessed by some evil, ruthless spirits. We sang and danced from the school hall that was at the extreme end of the school into the school and then into classes. We disturbed classes and made teachers stop teaching their classes and the students who were eager to join the fray would jump out of their seats immediately we got to their classes. Even as I'm writing this, I feel that that day was one of the most interesting days of my life and I can assure you that most of us that were there that day will never forget. When we've successfully emptied the classes and got the whole school into a sort of intoxicating carnival, we all then danced to the field where the real party began. We threw away all caution and fears of the teachers and displayed our madness as much as we could. We sang and screamed and danced till we became hoarse and tired to the bones. I think once in a while, it should be part of the schools' curriculum, time for students to let out all madness they feel within because we are all like loaded guns and if we are not allowed to free the threatening emotions that we feel within, we may run mad someday.

Like magicians, drummers and trumpeters materialized from nowhere and that was when the real carnival began and the previous one took another dimension. Even some teachers joined in the celebration. The drummers and trumpeters did justice to and even when it was well after closing time, we didn't want to leave.

After 3 pm, the principal (who had been dancing with us all along and who was the one that hired the drummers and trumpeters) made us all sit down on the grass and while she was speaking, bags of cold sachet water were brought to the field from the school vendour and passed around to everyone. The principal greeted all the teachers in attendance and then the students then she prayed for us, wishing us success in our exams and God's protection as we 'go into the world' just as if we were outside the world before! She admonished us to be good ambassadors of the school that though we spent a fraction of our lives (six years) together yet she said we will never forget one another. She told us that should we fail when the results come out, we must not give up. Instead we must be strong and persistent until we make it. She said that education is power and it is among the things that can take us to places. After all these, we all exchanged numbers (many of us were already crying at the realization that that would be the last time that we would all completely be together).

"Today is the last day" the principal said." Never in this life will you ever be together like this again. Some of you will move on with their education but some will not. Some people will learn handiworks while some will do something else. It is an indisputable fact that some people will die but who that is, we don't know. We all have big dreams but life is like a pyramid; the higher it goes the narrower it becomes. At the base of the pyramid, there is enough space for everyone to sit but a step higher, it will contain less people. Another step higher, it will contain fewer people still and it will keep reducing till there is a space for only one person. The person at the peak of life's pyramid is the closest person to the heavens. The most powerful, the strongest and the most important. I want to be at the peak of the pyramid but I don't know about you if you want to too…."

"I want to be at the peak of the pyramid!" we all roared with fanatical determination.

"I wanna be the closest to the skies!!"

"I wanna be the closest to the skies!!!" We all echoed in a great thundering echo of voices.

"Yes! If you are at the top, the peak, the apex, you can reach up to the night sky and rearrange the stars up there! No matter who you are now or what you are passing through, you can get to the top! It's not only when you have rich parents or when you are well connected, it's in your hands!"

By the time the principal finished that historical speech, we were all new beings. We were all determined to change for better and to pursue our dreams with all determination. Many years after that speech, I still remember every word she said that day but life is not as simple as she made it seem to us as we were sitting on the field that day, listening to her talk.

Life Outside High School.

While we were expecting our results, many of us travelled out of Lagos. Some of us began learning one handiwork or the other. The rest of us began working in different p[laces as office assistants, cleaners etc. on my part, my mum got me a job as a messenger in a law firm. The work was good but the pay sucks like seriously. The firm was owned by two renown SANs and it was the most prominent law firm in Mushin with over ten staff excluding the drivers, messengers and cleaners.

In June, our result came out but I failed woefully because I had 7 Ds and 2 Es. I almost cry when I checked it online. I knew I was not smart enough to study hard for the exam yet, I needed someone to hold responsible and to blame for my failure. I felt it unfair that I could failed woefully like that. When my mum saw the result in the evening, she was sadder than I was.

"I told you" she said. "Michael, despite all the money I borrowed from a corporative, see the result you brought home. Assuming your father is alive it would have been better but now I have to be looking for another money to register you for another exam. Mercy too needs money to register for her common entrance examination. I spoke with the H.M. today and she said her exam fee is N12,000 . Where do you think I'll get all that, where?!" she turned and hurried away so that I won't be able to see the single tear that was running down her cheek.

In the evening, I visited some of my mates that were still around and all of them have at least six credits in their papers and when they asked me if I've checked mine, I quickly said no. I returned home, sad beyond words. So far, I was the only one I knew who flunked the exam in our school. For several minutes, I felt as if the world has come to an end for me and that all hope that I had to study criminology in the university vanished. That night, I didn't eat anything. instead I just locked myself inside my room and continued thinking of what I should have done but which I didn't do and finally what to do.

The following day, I received a letter form Rose. She had travelled to Abuja the next day that we finished our papers to live with her aunt who was a lecturer at the university of Abuja. Her mother had gone visiting and she sent the letter back through her. I tore open the envelop to reveal the letter inside. I opened it quickly and somehow expecting to see that she had failed too (not that I really want her to fail but knowing that someone else was passing through what I was passing through would make the pains bearable).

"Xup M?,

It's been a lonnng time n I missed U like kilode. How are you n your sibs? How is your mum too? I'm so sorry that I have not been able to 2 reach U since I left Lagos but it's bcos of the distance btw us n I believe dat U'll understand.

First n foremost, I want to tell U that I now own a mobile phone P5 techno mobile. The phone is amazing that u can do almost anything on it. Where is my no: 07065430914. I cant wait to hear Ur voice again plz call me immediately U get dis letter.

Also, I've checked my result…." I paused from reading the letter and took a deep breath, knowing and scared of what she would say next. I read on anyway "…it was very good. I had 4 As, 4Bs and one C. my aunt bought the phone for me to celebrate my success. God I feel so apy. I can now imagine myself a lawyer in embryo. I feel so glad…" I stopped reading the letter and flung it away angrily. Why must I be the only one that would fail?!

The next day at work was worse. Seeing my employers in their smart suits and court robes and wigs made me think of Rose and my failure. Pepper was added to my wound when Baba (one of the SANs personal drivers) was disgraced by one of the secretaries because he didn't arrive at the office in time to take one of the SANs to the high court for the hearing of a case he was handling. The secretary couldn't have been more than twenty eight years old and baba must be somewhere in his sixties. Yet Baba was apologizing and begging her all the while. I knew that what made the difference was education and that had it been that Baba was educated as much as the lady or more, it would have been a different story.

When I got home in the evening, I stole my mum's cell phone and called Rose. I have been dreading the call throughout the whole day but by the time I picked up phone to call her, I've already made up my mind about things that I would tell her. We talked about everything; my result and my next plan which I said was to obtain Nov/Dec GCE form. She advised me to study hard and try to clear the paper once and I promised her that I would.

I was determined to make my result but something happened which destroyed that determination and turned our lives in our family upside down.

It was a beautiful Friday morning, mum had gone to work and my sibs had gone to school. I didn't go to work but I've called and took the day off, telling them that I was sick. Actually, I had taken the day off to read for the upcoming exam. I was still reading and concentrating real hard when my mum came in sobbing.

I was as surprised then as you are now. I threw my book away and sprang up from the chair and ran to meet her at the doorway. I took her handbag from her and made her sit down, all the while she was still sobbing. "Mum, what's wrong?" I asked but she didn't reply, instead, she sobbed harder and her sobbing gathered momentum and throttled to a full anguish wailing that hurt my ears and made my heart break within me. I almost cried myself but I held on, expecting the bad news that made her cry that much.

My mum was a strong woman. Even when my dad died, she had been the one comforting all of us but now that the comforter cannot be comforted, I felt really scared. After much pestering, she took out an envelope from her bag and gave me. I opened it and took out a letter with racing heart and trembling hands. It was a letter of retrenchment. Due to the non- functionality of NIPOST, the federal government had decided to lay off 60% of its workforce and my mum naturally was among those sixty because she was employed at a time when school cert was the minimum qualification for government employment and had not been able to upgrade the result since then till she was retrenched.

I sat down and began thinking. That was the beginning of the end for us in our family. We had no friends nor families that were financially okay enough to cater for their own needs let alone ours. Dad had died a year after building our house through borrowed money and mum has been paying that debt every month since then from her salary but now that the only source of income has been blocked, it was certain that the corporative society would seize the house, sell it, remove their balance from the proceeds and give us the remaining change. I knew all these even before mum spoke and I knew it was part of the reasons why she cried that much. After a very long time, she began to talk;

"Michael, here is the reason why I've been telling you and begging you to be serious. I've known all along that this will happen one day and here it is now. There's no way out, the corporative society will sell the house and send us packing. They will give us some change and we could have used that to send you to school and within the next four or five years, you'll graduate and the suffering will stop when you secure gainful employment but now you don't even have a certificate let alone proceeding to higher institution. Now that I'm jobless, I'll use whatever I have to take care of your sibs. I hope you understand?"

I didn't say anything.

"Also it is important to let you know that now that you are working, you must contribute to the family finances and that henceforth, your needs are your responsibility and no longer mine because even though I really want to be there for you as a mum, I can't because I have to keep everything in order around here"

Now you see that life is not fair? I'm less than twenty years old. Just out of secondary school without a result and just as if that is not bad enough, I am now on my own. Financially, academically and in other areas as well. Mum told me that we need approximately N25, 0000 each month to live averagely and she's been the sole provider all along but now that she is jobless, no hope until she is able to secure another job.

Well, I have no option than to comply. After all, she is not trying to encroach on my rights and freedom of free living which is undeniable. But the fact is, it's either I help as much as I could or all of us will plunge deep into a financial abyss. The following day, I left home earlier than usual. When I got to the office, only the cleaners were around and it suited me perfectly because they were the ones I intended to see. I've thought about all these throughout the night and decided that being a cleaner is better than being a messenger. Once the cleaners have cleaned the offices and the johns in the morning, they usually have the rest of the day off to themselves while we the messengers run from one part of Lagos to another, delivering mails, court summons and subpoenas to both clients and non-clients. This means that I can pursue other jobs IF I join the cleaning crew and that means double income. Once I have double income, I can give none to mum to support the family and used the next one to pursue my personal and educational dreams.

"Xup Math?" I greeted the younger cleaner casually, his name was Mathew.

"Hey M!" he bellowed delightedly. He was always happy even when everybody is sad and crying all their juice out. "How you broo?" He asked cheerily.

"I'm cool." I said quickly "Can I talk to you for a second please" I said.

"O yeah, sure!" he said and paused from what he was doing. He leant the mopping stick against the wall and stared vacantly at me. "What's wrong bro? You look twenty years older than you looked yesterday" he observed.

"Thanks I'm ok. I don't want to be a messenger here anymore. I want to join the cleaning team." I said and he looked shocked.

"Are you OUT of your mind bro?" he almost screamed "You can be funny sometimes you know?" he said incredulously.

"Can we swap position please?" I asked quickly, afraid that he would say no.

"SWAP? You mean you want to be a common, dirty cleaner instead of being a posh – neat messenger?" he asked and looked at me as if I had gone nuts.

"Well, I just want a change and I think that you will like it too?"

"Of course!" he said "I envy your position in case you don't know bro. It sucks to be sweeping and mopping the same floors and offices every day. I need fresh air. So when do we start?" he asked eagerly.

"Now if you don't mind. You can leave the rest of it to me, I'll clean the remaining" I collected the mopping stick and the brush from him and began cleaning.

"Thanks to you guy!" he said over his shoulder as he exited the johns excitedly. Moments later, his head appeared at the doorway again. "Sam is in the conference room, dusting and brushing with his bare hands. Once more, thanks broo" he left and I prayed that he won't show his face again to make me feel miserable.

"Arrrgh!" I shouted and spat angrily. Thank God, the first step in my plan is working out. All I have to do next is to look for another cleaning job as a part-time cleaner.

I went to the conference room and met Sam. I told him that I was the new cleaner but he didn't attach any meaning to that, he was indifferent. He had been working at the firm for 20 years so he had seen many cleaners come and go. He thrust a brush in my hand and said very calmly "You don't need orientation to scrub a toilet or do you?" he said rhetorically.

No, I didn't.

Two weeks later, I changed to cleaning the offices instead of running errands, I got another (part-time) job as a cleaner as well. I was very happy when I got that job and when I told my mum, she only nodded her head without showing any emotion. For a very long time now, she has stopped being an active mother to almost a recluse. Though she wakes up early in the morning as she used to do before but the spark and the enthusiasm of everyday life had drained from her face. She did things without emotion. My sibs noticed this and confronted me about it.

"Mike," Seyi the eldest among the three began while both Reuben and the young Elizabeth looked at me inquiringly. Seyi (Mercy) was in Pry 6, Reuben was in Pry3 and Elizabeth was just in Nursery 2. I doubt if she understands what we were saying but she looked on expectantly anyway "Is mum sick?"

"No" I quickly replied "Why did you ask?"

"Because she looks awful, distracted and 'saddy' if you understand what I mean by that" she said with as much emotion as she could muster.

Before I could reply, Eliza spoke. "I think momma is pregnant with my new baby sister!" she said excitedly as if it was true.

Reuben snorted and hissed. "That's dumb Elice" he said

"Don't call me lice again!:"Elizabeth shot back angrily.

"Whatever!" Reuben said again.

"Okay! Okay!! Everyone calm down" I said quickly and the bickering subsided. "Mum is okay. She is not sick. She just needs a little time for herself…."

"But why was she crying in her room all alone yerster night?" Seyi pointed out defiantly, trying to pry out the truth. You can always trust her for that.

"Crying?" I said and feigned innocence "Maybe you are mistaking…"

"Mike it's true and you know it, so don't deny it!" She insisted and Reuben supported her by nodding vigorously. I felt at loss for words. What will I tell them? How do I explain mum's ordeals to a bunch of under ages?

"Well," I finally said, trying to make everything okay "It s a good thing that we all care about mum but don't let that make you sad. As much as we need to laugh, we also need to cry because life is a mixture of both happiness and sadness. Are we on the same page?" I asked but only Elizabeth said yes both Reuben and Seyi were deliberately looking away from me. Reuben was looking fixedly at his toes. I continued anyway. "Mum is passing through a difficult situation now and nobody should disturb her. If you need anything, ask me okay?"

"What about our school fees? Will you pay that one too? Remember that you are earning just ten thousand naira monthly?" Seyi said again. She was trying to make us all sad but I wouldn't let that happen.

"Yes, tell me when you need it" I said without meaning it. Elizabeth walked away from the kitchen where we were discussing. The topic of our discussion was obviously boring to her. Even Reuben too looked as if he he'd leave the kitchen any moment soon too but only Seyi looked matured, interested and ready to talk but I quickly changed the topic. "Seyi, let me teach you how to cook my favorite dish, indomie pallazziani" I said to end the topic about our mum and I knew she would love that after all she has been disturbing me to teach her how to prepare my invented dish.

"Yes!" she said excitedly. Soon, we both pushed the thought of our mum's state of mind out of our minds and concentrated on the food. Reuben bolted from the kitchen, glad to be free at last to play video games on our PC.

My new cleaning job's deal was ten thousand naira too. The deal was to be resuming for work by 2PM each day after the first cleaner had left. It was a book factory where I had to be packing paper cuts from the time of my resumption to 7PM the closing time. I've already made a deal with Sam to be leaving the office by 1pm each working day but to be doing the greater part of the cleaning every morning. So far, the deal has been going on smoothly though it was very stressful because each working day for me was full of 12hours of nonstop working.

My mum became moodier and docile. She seldom talks but stared endlessly at something that we couldn't see with that faraway look in her eyes. Good enough, my sibs behaved well around her. They didn't disturb her or ask her anything and spoke in whispering voices in her presence as if afraid of breaking some fragile connections she was silently building.

At this juncture, I think that if she's working things would change but we were unable to get her any job. Not that we searched for it seriously though and she didn't do anything about finding one. All she does was sitting and staring at some unseen destinations. On my part, my schedule was too tight to allow me five minutes break let alone going out to find a job for her.

Four months after she was retrenched, some men came to our house on a Saturday morning. They came in without knocking. We were all in the living room, watching Tom and Jerry. Mum was in her room, probably crying or just staring at nothing as usual.

"What do you want?" I sprang up and demanded from the intruders, meeting them halfway in the middle of the room.

"Where is your mother?" One of them asked, his looks reminded me of Mr. Bones in that funny movie where he had went into a casino with his stupid dressing and out-of-place crown.

"My mum?" I asked. "What for and who are you?"

"That's not a proper way to address an elderly person "Another man rebuked angrily.

"Well you didn't come in properly too. You invaded our privacy so I can address you anyway I want or deem fit" I shot back

The men laughed and loosed all the frowns on their faces. One of them strode forward and extended his hand. Tentatively, I shook his hand.

"I am Simon from Diamond bank. Here are my colleagues: John, Habass, and Tom." I nodded as he introduced each person.

"You are welcome but how may I help you?"

"Can we speak to your mum please? She is the one we are here to see."

No way, my mum was not even capable of eating by herself without being supervised let alone attending to them.

"I'm so sorry, that will be impossible and you can talk to me instead because she is sick and whatever you want to say to her, tell me. I'm the next of kin and her first born."

"Okay then" The one called Tom said and I offered them seats. "This house was mortgaged by the owner in person of Mr. Smith. I assume that was you dad?"

I nodded. I already knew what they were there for.

"He borrowed money from a corporative society to add to the money he had then to build this house. He promised and agreed to be paying back within the period of seven years with interest but he died two years after that. We felt sorry about that but this is business and this money is not ours, we are just keeping them. I hope you understand all that? The corporative borrowed a huge amount of money from us which it was unable to pay in time. Eventually, it turned all its debtors over to us. We've tried to talk it through with your mother but she wouldn't oblige us. We sent mails, placed phone calls to her, and did so many things but she didn't respond. So we are here to value the property."

That was a very big blow to us – me at least. My sibs didn't seem to understand because they were still very young.

"Can I beg you for some time more?" I pleaded.

The men smiled and shook their heads sadly.

"No, the only solution now is that you pay four hundred and fifty thousand naira and the one hundred and twenty thousand naira interest rate that has accumulated over the years" Mr. Simon said.

"That's five hundred and seventy thousand naira altogether? What's the value of this house?" I asked and Mr. Tom spoke.

"It depends on what you want. If you want to leave the furniture and the electronic- you don't have much anyway. The value will be higher but it will be lower if it's just an empty house. Which one do you want?"

"What if we pack half of it and leave the rest?" I asked.

"That's possible too" he consented, all smiling.

"Let's go with that. How long do we have left?"

"Just two weeks. After that, the interest will increase again"

I signed the papers. With the help of the bank, we were able to get two rooms in a face-me-i-slap-you house. The house was sold and after the commissions and our debts were deducted, we raked in two hundred and fifty thousand naira, at the end out of which we paid for the two rooms. I paid my sibs school fees in advance before the money runs out and I saved half of it. The rest I used to stock food at home because I knew that if there's food, all other problems would be simple. In the meantime, I kept working at the two places.

With my salary, I obtained a WAEC GCE form and sat for the exam. Two months later, the result came out but I had f9 in Maths,D7 in English and literature in English but I passed the remaining subjects at credit level. I decided to register fro the next WAEC or NECO to get the remaining result.

GONE.

It's been six months since we packed to our rooms. Mum's condition grew worse but we've all come to learn to live with it. She seldom eat. Most times I have to spoon-feed her to prevent her from starving to death. Whatever was bothering her, she didn't tell us. She kept to herself and talked to no one. During the 6 months, I sat for another exam and I made the remaining papers but since I've assumed the position of the family bread winner and manager, I couldn't dream of pursuing higher education until my mother comes back to her former self and take the family burden off my young shoulders.

One fateful Tuesday morning, we got up as usual and began preparing for school and work place when Elizabeth rushed in screaming incoherently. At first, we all ignored her because she used to overact sometimes. But we started paying attention when we continued hearing 'mummy' in her cries.

"Lizzy, what's wrong?" I asked finally, irritated that I have to spend a couple of minutes out of my limited time listening to her nonsensical gibbering.

"Mum" She cried. I left her and rushed into the bedroom where mum and the girls were sleeping, Reuben and I were sleeping in the living room. When I got into her room, mum was rolling on the floor, holding her head in painful gasps. Blood was already trickling down her nostrils.

We rushed her to the nearby hospital. After that, I shooed my sibs to school with pleading and a little bit of force. When they have gone, I sat patiently at the reception, expecting the doctor to come and tell me what I'd been dreading for months. I thought hard and long about it. Though I didn't want it to, but what if mum dies and leave me to assume the role of parents to my sibs? Suppose it happens, what will I do? If it happens, that would be the end of my academic career. I didn't know when I slept off on the chair at the hospital's reception.

"Hey Youngman, wake up" The doctor said and I opened my eyes. So I've been dreaming all along? The dream was ok. In it my mum got well and was hired back at work. We got our house back, blah, blah, blah… I sprang up quickly.

"Doc, thank you! She's okay now right?" I asked excitedly but he shook his head.

"I'm sorry. Your mother didn't help us. She simply surrendered and didn't fight her illness. She is gone."

I wanted to cry, maybe scream or roared or tear something or someone to pieces to expend the burning pain I felt within but I felt numb and lifeless so that I couldn't move. I felt dizzy and almost fall down before the doctor grabbed me and sat me down gently on the chair. So this is it? This is the beginning of the end for us? How are we ever going to survive?

The rain has been falling since midnight and it was still falling by the time we left the churchwith the casket. The ambulance driver seemed sad not because of our mum's death (because that's his profession and he was used to driving dead people anyway) but because of the bad- untarred road that led to the public cemetery. Twice he alighted from the vehicle inside the pelting rain and seemed to be fixing something with one of the tires. All the while, my sibs and I were on the backseat of our Parish pastor's rickety old car that looked as if it would fall to pieces if it goes a step further (but it has been looking that way since I was a small boy and it has not fallen to pieces yet).

We got to the cemetery a little bit later that it would have taken under normal circumstances. Revd. Jacobs (Our parish pastor) refused to use umbrella like the other mourners but he instead gave an offhand brilliant sermon that brought salty tears to our eyes and let them mingle with the chilling rain water.

"What is the use of umbrella against the rain when some day we will be inside the ground six feet below with nothing but a piece of white cloth? Why do we waste so much time on this perishable flesh instead of preparing our souls for the journey to the eternity?" he said and people began to cry loudly. I didn't know I was crying too till one of mum's co-workers patted my back to comfort me.

Three months after mum's death, we've been doing well. My sibs were doing well in school and they were getting used to the fact that mummy that went into the sky like daddy did would never come back again. On the other hand, I was not doing so well at work because I was getting query everyday (especially at the law firm) for coming late. I knew I was wrong but I couldn't help it. No matter how early I woke up or how late I turned in for bed at night, I'll still be late. The firm then gave me warning for a week to change or my appointment would be terminated.

I didn't change because I had to take care of my sibs and make sure that they were well fed and properly gabbed for school before I leave them to go to work. Their water bottles must be filled with enough water and their coolers must contain enough food to last them through the day. I was fired at the law firm. It didn't pain me so much because I still had another part time job. I began looking for another job in earnest.

One Sunday afternoon, we were in the living room, watching cartoon on the TV when Eliza busted into the room with a letter.

"Hey M!" She bellowed and beamed with one thousand watts smiles. "My aunty said I should give you this letter" she said and tossed the letter on my laps.

"Elice, you are screaming for God's sake!" Reuben snapped angrily.

"Why must you deafen everyone because you got just a letter…" he said angrily. Both of them are always fighting each other even when mum was still alive and that hatred seemed to wax stronger after her death. I've tried many times to stop the enmity but both of them seemed not ready to call a truce.

"That's enough both of you!" I quickly said to stop Eliza from replying with a string of insults because I could see her brimming with anger. "What's the letter about? I believe it's not your school fees?" I asked.

"I don't know" Eliza said. She was already watching the cartoon, snuggling closely up to Seyi. I diverted my attention back to the envelop. I tore it and brought out a letter that letter headed from their school. I'll skip the preliminaries and go straight to the point. The content of the letter was that my sibs were extra ordinarily brilliant. The three of them Seyi (Pry 6), Reuben (Pry 3) and Eliza (Nursery two) were exceptional and because of that and the fact that they were always well behaved in the school, the school had decided to help us by granting them full scholarship through their pry school education. I read the letter to their hearing and they were happier than I was.

"That means we are free!" Seyi said excitedly "Now we can be buying fish…."

God, not again! "No Seyi" I said quickly "We cannot afford that luxury yet" I said.

"Why not?" she asked angrily. "You used to say that we cant buy fish because of our school fees but now we don't pay anymore" she shot back.

"It's true" Reuben supported "We are not asking for turkey, chicken or even meat. Mike it's just fish!"

"No" Eliza said "Fish smells, let's be taking egg…"

"Shut up!" Reuben and Seyi shouted at her and she began to cry. I pulled her close and consoled her.

"That's mean both of you" I said sternly "After all there is freedom of speech. She is one of us and like any of us and can express herself. As for the fish, I'm sorry we cannot afford that luxury yet. There are textbooks that you all need and can't do without so we will use the school fees to get those books".

Both Seyi and Reuben began murmuring angrily and that's the part I hated most. It used to make me mad. "Stop it before I deal with you now!" I shouted angrily and they both shut up because they've experienced my anger before and it was not pleasant at all. When my anger had subsided, I said calmly "I'm sorry. You guys caused it and made me angry. Till God send another help, we'll continue to eat the same way we do. We haven't died yet because we don't eat fish or meat or turkey or chicken or anything. So let's take it slow"

Two months later, Seyi graduated from her school and was admitted at Community High School; the closest public secondary school to our house. Which means that Reuben and Eliza were left alone in the primary school and this is a real problem for us because from our house to the school, there were three roads they had to cross. Mum had chosen the school then because it was close to the Post Office so she used to pick them all up after closing but when she left us, Seyi assumed the role of getting them safely home. But now she'd graduated and there was nobody that will get them home anymore. I called them and explained my plans to them: "Since Seyi is no longer at Bright Destiny, both of you will be waiting for her. She will be coming to pick you up after school hours. Under no condition should you leave the school on your own unless you see her or me if it's possible. Do you understand?" I asked and they both nodded and said yes then I faced Seyi. "You close by 2pm every day and they close by 4:30pm. Which means that you'll have ample time to relax before picking them up. Under no condition should you abandon them okay?"

She managed to say a disgruntled yes. She didn't like the idea and I couldn't blame her because the distance from our house and her school takes over 40 minutes and adding that to the 50 minutes' walk to Bright Destiny is leg-breaking. "Seyi I know it's hard but we've got to do it. Please just try and help me out here."

"Okay" she finally consented.

So far the plan had been going well until Seyi's Math's teacher held them down after school closed one day without further notice. I didn't know neither was she expecting that too so when he made them wait for an impromptu after-school lesson, she said she began to cry` and lament and tried to explain that her sibs would be waiting for her but the teacher didn't believe her after all, almost all of them were giving one excuse or the other so he thought that she was lying too so he forced her to wait.

When it was 6pm and Seyi didn't show up, Reuben (who was very hungry and frustrated) decided to leave. He knew the road back home well and could get home on his own. Besides, he wanted to show me that he was 'big' enough to take care of himself and his sis. He took Eliza by the hand and they both left the school. They crossed two roads successfully but on the ever busy Oshodi-Apapa expressway, they waited for almost 30 minutes yet there was no chance to cross. They became restless and eventually they crossed when they thought that it was safe enough but it was not.

Just from the left, a commuter bus was speeding away to Oshodi when it had been fully loaded. The driver didn't see my sibs because he was fighting a verbal war with the passengers over their changes so he didn't see them when they crossed but he was on them right there in the middle of the road.

According to an eye witness who took them to hospital, Eliza was behind Reuben which means that she was the one that was to be crushed. Somehow Reuben saw the bus moments before it reached her and pushed her out of the way and managed to escape himself but he didn't succeed. The bus caught his right leg that was behind and crushed it. It all happened within seconds.

When I got home in the evening, I met Seyi in the room crying. She leapt up when she saw me "Have you seen them?" she demanded tearfully.

"Who? Reuben and Eliza?" I asked, my heart beating wildly in my chest. "Seyi speak and stop crying! Where are they?". Instead of answering, she continued to sob loudly.

"I don't know. I went to their school after lesson but they were not there. The security man said they were playing at the school gate before they left without telling him. I ran quickly to the normal route that we used to take together but they were nowhere to be found. "Michael my legs are paining me because I have been going there back and forth for six times or more now!" Seyi cried. I became really scared. I know that something serious was wrong with them and that wherever they were then; all was not well with them.

"Did you go there late?" I asked.

"Yes because our math's teacher forced us to stay back for extra lesson…."

"Extra lesson you fool! Does that stupid lesson worth the lives of your brother and sis you idiot?! Listen, should anything happen to them, I'll never forgive you and that your stupid teacher" I said and stormed out.

I went back to their school immediately I left our apartment. It was already 9 o clock by the time I got there. The school gates were locked and nobody was near the place. "Hello?! Good evening here! Hello can anybody hear me please?! Hell…."

A plump woman in her pajamas walked to gates from inside the school's compound. "Hello what do you want and why are you shouting that loud at this time of the day" She asked angrily, I must have disturbed her from something very important and she looked unforgivably at me.

"Good evening ma. I'm Mike please my sibs have not arrived back home yet…." She cuts in before I could say anything further..

"As you can see, there's nobody here" she said curtly.

"Please wait!" I begged "Where is Mr. Adam, the security ma?"

"He is not around. Go back home now you may meet them at home but if you don't, then look for them in the morning" She said and turned back to go again.

Is she crazy? Doesn't she understand that I'm talking about human lives here, my sibs?.

"One more thing please!" I shouted again "Please ask Mr. Adam if he'd seen them."

"Okay I will ask him when he comes back. Goodnight"

We didn't sleep throughout the night. Both of us were awake and restless throughout the night. Some of our neighbours came to assure us that nothing bad would happen to them. Some of them advised us to report it to the police at the nearest station and we did. The police men were indifferent to our plight. They only looked unconcerned at us and scribbled some useless jargons on a dirty sheet of paper he just picked up from the floor right in front of us. When he was done, with the nonsense and his morbid questions, he told us to pay N1500 for report and once they are able to get our sibs back, we'll balance up with the same amount. I paid him though I knew then that nothing would come out of it.

We must have fallen asleep on the sofa because early the following day, a loud bang on our room's door woke us. I sprang to my feet, momentarily forgetting the events of the previous night but it all came rushing back with fearful velocity as I wiped my face with the back of my hand. "Yes, who is there?" Seyi was already at the door before I could get there. She yanked the door open, expecting Reuben and Eliza to be standing there with the silly grins on their faces and shouting gotcha! But they were not the one; it was a sad looking young man that was standing there "Yes?" Seyi asked.

"Are you Michael?" the young man asked me.

"Yeah"

"Your brother and sister..."

"Where are they?!" Seyi and I chorused impatiently.

"They are in a hospital in Mushin. One of them was hit by a commuter bus yesterday on their way back home from school"

We followed the man to the hospital and I couldn't help crying as I was led into Reuben's ward. Eliza was standing beside his bed holding his hand and crying. Reuben himself was in a sleep-like comma.

"Are you his brother" I spurned around and came face to face with a very nice looking doctor.

"Yes sire" I said with teary eyes and a shaky voice.

"Good to finally find you. Your brother is in a serious condition now. We must amputate his right leg as soon as possible or else the infection may go beyond that"

Seyi broke down into a heart wrenching cry. Her voice was so shrill, so loud that she had to be shooed away from the ward by the nurses. The doctor continued "Are you ready now?"

I said yes and signed the form. When I was done, I gave the form back to the doctor and. "The fee is N30, 000 but given your condition pay just N10,000 and I'll subsidized it" the doctor said generously. I felt like crying and hugging him but all I could say was a choked 'thank you'

TWO WEEKS LATER, he was discharged after being pronounced OK but without half of his right leg. He now walked on crutches. Life never remained the same for all of us after then. Reuben's tragedy made us all shed all of our childish innocence and happiness. We became mentally matured and even Eliza who was the youngest and who would probably be disturbing mum (had it been she was still alive) became sober and serious. The only good that came out of Reuben's accident was that a strong feeling of affection brought us all together. The love was so strong to the extent that we all felt that any problem that's affecting any of us was actually affecting us all. I can't just accurately describe the feeling with words. It was just simply too strong.

My sibs returned back to their schools and I to my working place after a week at home. My employer was very kind. He didn't sack or deduct from my salary. He sympathized with me and even gave me some amount of money for our family's upkeep.

On the day we celebrated mum's one year's remembrance, we were penniless. During that year we've spent all the money we had left in the family account on books, drugs, school uniforms, second hand Christmas cloths and other miscellaneous things. Therefore that day, I woke up before my sibs and cooked the only things we had left at home: two cups of rice. To make sure that they had enough to eat, I didn't eat any of it. When I was done , I woke them up and they all got dressed for school. While they were eating, I decided to go through their books and check their performances (it has become a habit for me to check their books each morning and see their performances). All of them were performing excellently well and this encouraged me and strengthened my resolve to sacrifice all I could to help them. When I was done, I opened the floor of discussion for us to talk about the previous day's events. Seyi spoke first. She told us about a new girl in her class who flirts with boys. We all condemned the girl's actions in our family court and advised Seyi not to befriend such person. Eliza spoke next, she told us how she'd won the school's spelling bee competition and that the school intended to give the winner a monetary gift.

"And where is the prize?" I asked eagerly.

"The H.M said that when Seyi comes today to take us that she would give her the gift. She thought that I would lose it" She said and we all laughed.

A New Life.

If change wants to occur in someone's life, it won't take forever; it'll happen within a very short time.

One day, I was cleaning his bedroom when my boss strode in. I haven't seen him that day because he has gone out before I arrived for work but I knew where he kept his keys. I think I was the only staff he told that. He was a rich man but he lived alone. Since I've been working, I didn't know any of his families and I knew few of his friends only. There was a particular one among them who was very close to him so he was also aware of where he kept his keys and he was inside the room that day before I got there but he had left before I got there so we didn't meet.

I greeted him and he responded well. I continued cleaning while he began looking for something. After sometimes, he straightened up and called me.

"Did you help me to see my diamond ring?"

NO, I didn't.

"No sir" I said.

"Are you serious? I left it in this room before I left this morning. Listen up, take my twenty thousand naira, even fifty thousand naira and I won't talk but that ring worth a lot more than the two amount combined together" He said sternly. I wanted to cry to show my innocence but that's childish so I just kept a straight face.

"I didn't even see it sir" I said honestly. He was silent for several moments. Then he finally said.

"Okay but you know what, if I don't see it by the time you close for today, don't come to work again. I should have handled you properly but no matter how much the ring worth, I can't do it so I'll just let you go and let God judge you"

Since I didn't take it, I was unable to give it back to him so I was quietly, non-violently and informally sacked. Being sacked at that time frustrated me and filled with evil thoughts. It made me feel hopeless. How will I ever take care of my sibs? How are we going to survive? Mum must have felt the same way when she was retrenched.

When my sibs had gone to school, I dressed up and began job hunting through the streets of Lagos. I saw many jobs but the pays were annoying, they were too small because all of them were below ten thousand and the lowest our family can go in a month was fifteen thousand naira to survive. So later that evening as I walked home, I was dead tired and without any job offer.

On my way back home, I met Clement. He was my childhood friend in our previous residence but we've lost contact with each other since we sold the house and moved away. We greeted each other with the same enthusiasm that long lost friends always use when they find one another again. He looked at me from head to toe and pronounced that I have changed a lot within one year that we left our house and I told him the same thing.

"Where are you coming from and where are you going to buddy?" he finally asked. I quickly began telling him my problem and he listened sympathetically. When I was done, he thought for several moments. "Well," he began "I don't have much on me now but tomorrow I may be able to help but now let me find you something for your siblings…" hew began searching in his pockets and he brought out squeezed naira notes and without straightening or counting, he thrust all of them in my palms. "There, take everything…"

"But Clem, you are giving me all you have. How will you cope?" I protested weakly.

He laughed.

"Me, I'm a survivor. Besides I'll get another one at the bus stop tomorrow when I work as a conductor for one of the buses going to Yaba…"

"Whoa! So you are a bus conductor?" I asked, baffled and disappointed.

"Yeah" He said proudly. "It pays better than all these jobs you are doing. If you would join me, I'll talk to my boss on your behalf and he would find you a bus to be following…."

God forbid! Only real bad boys can venture into that but I naturally hate all the conductors and public bus drivers I have seen in my life and the thought of joining them never occurs to me.

"Don't worry Clem, I'll be alright.

"Okay if you say so. Greet your sibs. Bye broo" he said and we parted ways.

I helped my sibs through their homework and sat with them to watch the evening news then we prayed for the after sharing our experiences for the day (though I didn't tell them that I'd been sacked and jobless because it will only make them sad) and we all said goodnight after soaking and eating garri with nothing but water. I kept the money till the following day so that I can use it to buy foods. While they were sleeping, I sat on the sofa and read a novel deep into the night. When it was 4 am, I finally succumbed to the irresistible charms of sleep.

The story was the same for the next day and even days in that week. I couldn't find any job suitable to cater for our basic finances. When the situation seemed to be really hopeless, I became very scared and desperate. I could go on without food for hours and probably days but what about my sibs? I decided to visit all the people that I knew to help me to find a job. I went to the law firm and spoke with Sam.

"The one that I saw the last time was a cleaning job…"

"I don't mind what it is. Is as much as they won't be paying less than ten thousand naira" I said impatiently.

"It won't be less than that" he assured me. "But the problem is they might have employed another person because it was over a week ago that I saw it. Check it out all the same and if it doesn't work, I'll help you to ask around." He said and thanked him and got the address from him. When I got there, I was employed as a cleaner without further ado. My job was to clean my boss' big mansion and wash his cars and did any other thing that ought to be done. I knew all that already. To cap it all, I was to be paid fifteen thousand naira! Maybe we can include fish in our ration after all.

My boss was just thirty years old, (seven years older than I was then) and a bachelor when I started working as a cleaner in his house. He was into real estate business. He buys lands, cars, house and properties and renovates them then sells them at higher prices. That was his occupation. He lives in the house but rarely stay in it. Most times he was out of it so I had enough time in the world to myself and this time I chose to while away my time by reading in his well-stocked library that was adjacent to the big lounge.

Within four weeks, I'd read so many books that doubled the total number of all the books I've ever read in my life. I started with novels then moved on to newspapers, journals and any book I could lay my hands on. I was not the only staff in the house; we were three. There was Jerry who was older than the boss himself. He was the security and gateman. Then there was Ann (an Igbo girl who understands no other language apart from her native language). She was the part time cook because she cooks nothing because our boss didn't eat at home. The only thing he does at home was to sleep and drink beverages and that was even maybe thrice in a week.

Having described all these, you will agree with me that new job was no job at all but an opportunity to be earning money and reading because after about an hour of cleaning, I usually have the rest of the day to myself. Life became easier again for my little family. My sibs were doing well at school and didn't fall sick (that's one of my greatest fears because it will involve spending money that we have not) and I was not stressed at all in my working place.

Having an unrestricted access to books- lots of it and on endless topics and subjects has many advantages and yet it also has its disadvantages. One of those is that your emotions would be stared up and soar high (especially when you read romance novels). I've read too many romance novels in the library which I think was not healthy for my emotional and moral well-being.

Rose, (do you remember her? My GF in high school) had left mew few months earlier before mum's death. She didn't do it in a cruel way though. She simply called me up on mum's phone that night and informed me that it was over. I begged and cried but when your girl/boyfriend has seen someone richer, more handsome/beautiful, more talented and above all more romantic than you, it'll be very hard for him/her to stay with you and that was exactly what happened to us. She didn't tell me herself but I learnt that she was dating a medical student and that he was everything a girl wants and should look for in a guy.

Now that I've started reading novels, I felt that I could win her back. I composed very emotional text messages I've read from books and sent them to her and wasted no small amount of money to buy airtime and called her almost every minutes but I was always met with the same polite responses like: "O Mike, your last message touched my heart. I will send it to Jerry cuz he will love it" or "O Mike, I'm sorry, I'm already into a very serious relationship" or "….hmmm, it's too late and you know it. Nice message though" those were her responses but I didn't give up, I kept sending them and calling all the same.

One day, I was in his library , reading myself to stupor when my boss walked in. I quickly stood up and pretended as if I was dusting the place but he wasn't looking.

"What are you dong now?" he said.

"Now- sir, I'm just cleaning up this place, why sir?"

"This place can wait. We are going somewhere now. Will you change your cloths or you'll go like this?"

"I'm good like this. I don't think you mind sir?" I asked but he shook his head

Ten minutes later, we drove out of his gates and headed in the direction of Ikeja. Not long we parked his vehicle at a bus stop and told me to cross the road that very soon; someone will come and pick me up. I did as he instructed though he had sped away immediately he gave the instruction. What if he had sold me to some ritualists or cannibals? None of my sibs knows where I'm working neither did they know him. None of the other two staff saw us leave his mansion together. Should anything bad happen to me then I would be on my own.

"Hey, you Mike?" I turned around and somewhere by my right, a very exotic car parked and an equally beautiful and classic young lady was behind the wheel. She was the one who called me.

Had it been a man, especially a rugged looking one that called me that moment when I was thinking of ritualists, I would have bolted from the place and never look back but the lady visage looked so calm, peaceful and angelic in a way that assured me that she won't even be able to kill a rat. I walked up to the car and peered into it through the half-opened and tinted glass.

"Yes I am" I replied "Are you the one I'm expecting ma?"

"Yes. Your boss said I should pick you up to my apartment" she said and automatically, the front door opened and I hopped in. she engaged the right gears and the vehicle eased forward like a snake that eased into a cool clear afternoon water after lying so long on the beach to join the traffic.

"The apartment is new" she gave me the rundown of the place and the things I was going there to do without taking her eyes off the road. "Everything had been moved in already. All it needs is proper scrubbing and I hope you'll do it" she asked, looking briefly at me for a split second. My heart vibrated madly in my chest as if it would burst. Jokes apart, from then till now, she is the most beautiful lady I've ever seen.

"Yes ma" I finally replied.

The place was not just an apartment, but a whole new semi mansion in structure and intricate designs. It was tastefully built and all around the house were sweet-scenting flowers and shrubs with tall handsome trees that waved and smiled as the sun and the gentle breeze caressed them. We drove through the electronic gates and parked behind another exquisite car. She gave me a quick tour of the whole house and showed me where the cleaning gadgets were stacked neatly in a room. I quickly got over my admiration of the house and began mopping, brushing, scrubbing and dusting from room to room. The cleaning looked easy but hard to do practically. I scrubbed and brushed till my fingers turn brown and ached madly. I took a break by 3pm and resumed cleaning 40 minutes later. All the while, I was alone in the big compound because she had left thirty minutes after I began working and told me she would be back about two hours later but she didn't.

By 7pm, I still had a lot left to be done. There were two rooms left that I'd not cleaned but by then I'd swore that I'd rather be disemployed than to continue scrubbing because my fingers, arms and whole body aches and throbs with pains. At 7:30, she arrived. She got down quickly and walked briskly to the front porch where I was sitting, waiting – expecting her or my boss to come and drive me back to the bus stop where I could get bus back home.

"I'm so sorry Mike!" She exclaimed "For once I've forgotten that you are still here and when I did, the holdup was very serious. I'm very sorry" She said apologetically. Hearing the good words and seeing her somber expression warmed my heart and all my anger and rebellions at having to scrub and clean for hours evaporated. "No problem ma" I said sheepishly.

"Have you eaten? Whoa! There is a take away I brought with me, get it from the car and let me drive you to the bus stop. Or you can be eating it on the way" She said and we both got in. the food was packaged inside one of those beautiful big restaurants take away that can feed five people. When I opened it, I discovered that it was more and better than I alone should eat. My sibs must have a taste4 of it.

She dropped me off at Magodo bus stop and asked me if I could find my way back and I said yeah. She gave me N1000 for my transport fare. I almost cried because it was far too much than I was expecting and more than I thought that I deserved. I thanked her profusely and eagerly waved down a bus going to Oshodi and from there I would take another bus to Mushin where we lived.

About thirty minutes later, I met my sibs unusually quiet and moody. Even Eliza that used to run to meet me at the door to hug and peck me on the cheek sat alone and looked sad. I knew that something was bothering them. "Xup guys what's cooking?" I said cheerfully, placing the packaged food on the table.

"The Landlord was here today. He was really mad at us." Seyi began.

I knew what the landlord said but I asked anyway. "And what did he say?"

"That he has been patient enough that we must pay latest by the end of this week or he'll be forced to send us packing.

"And is that the reason why all of you are looking as if the heaven is about to fall and smash us to pieces?" Reuben and Eliza nodded. I laughed. I did it to show them that it doesn't mean anything and that they shouldn't worry about it. "We will pay him" I told them "The month is about to end. Now I have a surprise package for you all!" I exclaimed suddenly like a magician that was up to some dirty tricks. It worked anyway because their faces brightened up quickly and they forgot the rent that was due to be paid as they gathered around me like ants over a crumb of cake. I revealed the contents of the package to them and they WOWED it. We spent the next thirty minutes tearing viciously at chicken laps and breaking bones like a pack of wild animals who had been deprived food for a very long time. We later had our family time then prayed and said goodnights.

The following day, I resumed 30 minutes later than the normal time because I woke up aching all over. My fingers throbbed with pulsing pains. I was expecting my boss to walk in and te3ll me like he did the previous day to go and wait for her at the bus stop but he didn't even come home. Throughout that week, I didn't even see him. He must have travelled out of Lagos because he travelled a lot.

Just when I've forgotten about it, he told me that day that the lady whom he called April had requested for my service again. Instead of driving me, he told me to wait for her that she would come and pick me up. Then he left. I felt very happy at another opportunity to work and earn extra money again and I was beginning to like her. I like her company a lot more than I like Uncle Nat's. While I was waiting for her, went to my comfort zone (the library) and soon was lost among books.

She came thirty minutes later and drove me to her house. On the way, she quickly gave me the run-down of what I was to do. "I hired someone else to finish the job you left the last time. All I want you to do now is that the kitchen cabinet and wardrobe had just been installed. The house needs real washing because there are lots of woods, glasses and marble pieces all around. It's a big mess. It may take you more than three hours to do. So I think you will have enough time."

The work took me just two and half hours. At the end of those 2 hours, I was exhausted to the bones. She drove me back to my boss house and later went home from there.

When I got home, all our properties were outside. The landlord had packed out our things. For the past two years, I had not been able to pay a dime for our rent due to the fact that the money I was earning was not even enough to feed us let alone to pay the rent. The landlord had been very good to us but there was nothing he could do to help us. He had inherited the house with his brothers and they were many whereas all the rooms were just eight. The fact is, the two rooms we occupied were his own share which means he was sacrificing a lot for us during those two years.

I left the things and began to look for my sibs. W2here are they and why died they leave our things outside there in the open where everybody was seeing them but I told myself that there was nothing they could do about it. I be3came worried when the clouds began gathering for a sort of an important meeting in the middle of the sky. Soon, the sky was full of those deep black dark pregnant clouds. Should the rain start, where are they going to hide. I asked the neighbors if they'd seen them but nobody has. I called their names till I became hoarse. The rain began in a merciless downpour but I couldn't seek shelter from it because I didn't know where they were and if they are okay. I walked down the streets and reached the places where they could be but they were not there.

About thirty minutes after the rain had begun, Eliza sprang out of nowhere and I ran towards her. "Hey what's wrong, where is Seyi and Reuben?" I asked but instead of replying, she was sobbing and her tears mixed with the rain water as the rain continued ferociously.

"Seyi is crying" she managed to say through her sobs.

"Where?" I shouted over the explosive sound of the thunder overhead. "Is Reuben there too?"

She shook her head. That means she didn't know where he was. She led me to where Seyi was sitting under a tree somewhere at the next street. Raindrops were mercilessly wetting her but in spite of the rain, she was crying very hard. I didn't bother to ask her why she was crying so I pulled her up from the ground and led her to a dry place where the rain couldn't touch us.

She later told me that night that when the landlord packed out the things that they were inside, doing their assignment. She said they pleaded and promised to pay him but to no avail. After everything had been packed out, Reuben had been crying and all attempts to make him stop proved abortive. She later joined him and none of them seemed to be able to able to stop and they were on it when I found them. I felt like crying myself because most of the time it rained, we were inside, cloths wet and soggy, teeth chattering and body vibrating violently from the excessive cold. I assured them that all would be well very soon but that in the meantime, we'll be sleeping in the corridor till a solution comes through.

The following day, I woke up before they woke up and quickly made a breakfast for them then I left home when I'd made sure that they'd eaten and were getting ready for school. When l got to work, my boss was at home like I've been praying. I did everything I supposed to do and two hours later; I went up to his apartment as I'd been planning to do.

"Sir, please I need your help" I said fearfully.

"Yes, what is it?" He asked without taking his eyes off the laptop monitor where he was typing furiously.

"Sir, we've been evicted yesterday. Our landlord packed out our things before I reached home and all the rain fell on us yesterday because we had nowhere to go…"

"Go straight to the point" He said curtly.

"Okay sir. Please sir, just lend me money. Maybe eight months' salary in advance so that I can use it to secure a room for us to live in" I said with quivering voice. For a very long time, he didn't speak. I thought he didn't hear what I said and was about to repeat myself when he spoke.

"I can't be able to do that. I don't have that much anyway and besides, this is Lagos. What if you run away with my money…"

NO!

"No sir, I swear with my life I won't!" I said quickly.

"Don't interrupt me, I'm not through" He said and I shut up. "As I was saying, you can run away once you have the money so it's not possible to give you that much. Besides, you might be lying about the eviction things".

I began sobbing. This is my only hope and I can't imagine the pains we'll experience to be living in the corridor where everybody passes. "Sir, I promise you that won't run away…"

"The only help that I'll do for you now is that I may give you three months' salary in advance and you'll be paying parts of it every month till you pay up everything. That would be N45000. So I'll be deducting three thousand naira every month. I think I have been generous enough now?" He asked rhetorically "If that's all, you may go now. I'll see you before you close today"

When I left his apartments, I felt so happy that I almost cried but right in the middle of that happiness a sad thought just peeked into my mind that that money would not be enough to get a room. This is Lagos and the costliest thing is accommodation. I knew that we may not be able to secure any room with amount of money. I became calm and sobered.

A miracle happened the next day. We were able to get a room in a house that bent forward like and aged person on walking stick. It was built very close to a wide and deep canal. The landlord told us to pay N40,000 for a year and pay N20,000 for some stupid agreements but I told him that we had nothing else to add. He collected the N40000 and we packed into the house that has no water, toilet or even electricity but we were happy to have a place to sleep.