A boy adventures through a mysterious land as he attempts to find out just where he came from. He develops his powers to fight off stronger and stronger enemies along the way as learns of the harshness of the cultivator world.
Interesting story, there is potential for it to be great depending on how you intend to write it.
You should name your chapters instead of leaving it as chapter 1 2 etc... This helps the reader know what to expect from the chapter.
Split you paragraphs into smaller once, some of them are too huge. Nobody likes to read long wall of text.
6 years ago
2
mugarg
Author here, this is my first novel. It's very much inspired by IET style of writing. If you like a fun power progression story come read planning on updating a chapter every other day.
6 years ago
2
HavenlyJeep
Story Premise (3 out of 5):
- MC has amnesia, don't know where he comes from, tries to find out. Also has a mentor. Not new, but there's that.
Writing Quality (4 out of 5):
- Grammar and vocabulary are good. Split the paragraph into smaller ones for the readers to enjoy reading. Spend some time editing each chapters, since there a lot of missing commas, punctuations, etc.
Story Development (4 out of 5):
- Slow-paced. It's fine this way, but there's not much to learn after five chapters through. Other than that, it's great so far.
Character Design (4 out of 5):
- If there's one thing I want to point out regarding this, is that the MC has no description of himself(?). I don't know how it looks like. The other characters I could grasp perfectly, but the MC is bland. Too little dialogue.
World (4 out of 5):
- Again, slow paced. Not much to be said, other than a mainland, a forest, and Flaming Lance.
6 years ago
1
luciano23
Interesting story so far looking forward to seeing how it progresses. A lot of potential hopefully it can live up to it. The concept really reminds me of a lot Chinese novel's except moving at a faster pace.
6 years ago
1
zd4zaasa
Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
4 years ago
0
soulla
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact
rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
4 years ago
0
ghoul447
Reveal Spoiler
6 years ago
0
bamthe24th
The battle scenes in this is good. The writing flows fairly well. The only advice I would have to give to the author is to better describe the main character. I am excited to see where this might go in the future.
6 years ago
0
friendlycultivator
Reveal Spoiler
6 years ago
0
hongkong776
The cultivation system is very interesting. I look forward to see where it goes from this point on. I think if it's developed properly this story could be really great. Though the formatting of the paragraphs can be long at times.
6 years ago
0
EldridSmith
Good start, interesting concept, and well written.
You just need to break up your paragraphs more since some people have trouble with walls of text.
6 years ago
0
CO5S3O
Great beginning. Interesting storyline and descriptive character. Look forward to reading additional chapters. Excited to see how the character develops and story unfolds.
Interesting story, there is potential for it to be great depending on how you intend to write it. You should name your chapters instead of leaving it as chapter 1 2 etc... This helps the reader know what to expect from the chapter. Split you paragraphs into smaller once, some of them are too huge. Nobody likes to read long wall of text.
Author here, this is my first novel. It's very much inspired by IET style of writing. If you like a fun power progression story come read planning on updating a chapter every other day.
Story Premise (3 out of 5): - MC has amnesia, don't know where he comes from, tries to find out. Also has a mentor. Not new, but there's that. Writing Quality (4 out of 5): - Grammar and vocabulary are good. Split the paragraph into smaller ones for the readers to enjoy reading. Spend some time editing each chapters, since there a lot of missing commas, punctuations, etc. Story Development (4 out of 5): - Slow-paced. It's fine this way, but there's not much to learn after five chapters through. Other than that, it's great so far. Character Design (4 out of 5): - If there's one thing I want to point out regarding this, is that the MC has no description of himself(?). I don't know how it looks like. The other characters I could grasp perfectly, but the MC is bland. Too little dialogue. World (4 out of 5): - Again, slow paced. Not much to be said, other than a mainland, a forest, and Flaming Lance.
Interesting story so far looking forward to seeing how it progresses. A lot of potential hopefully it can live up to it. The concept really reminds me of a lot Chinese novel's except moving at a faster pace.
Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
Reveal Spoiler
The battle scenes in this is good. The writing flows fairly well. The only advice I would have to give to the author is to better describe the main character. I am excited to see where this might go in the future.
Reveal Spoiler
The cultivation system is very interesting. I look forward to see where it goes from this point on. I think if it's developed properly this story could be really great. Though the formatting of the paragraphs can be long at times.
Good start, interesting concept, and well written. You just need to break up your paragraphs more since some people have trouble with walls of text.
Great beginning. Interesting storyline and descriptive character. Look forward to reading additional chapters. Excited to see how the character develops and story unfolds.