Episode 7-10

Space Force United S2 EP 7:

*Scene opens to the group standing in front of a glowing door*

Carl: So....we've tried everything to open this fucker....

Hunk: Yeah...we threw Toby at it, we rammed our sparrow into it, we threw Toby at it

Echo: You already said that

Hunk: I know what I said

Toby: *Sniff* they asked if I wanted to play a game....

Carl: Dry your tears buttercup I told you I would take you to the park when we got back

Toby: I'm going on the swings first

Hunk: *Whispering* I thought the Park got destroyed by the Cabal?

Carl: He doesn't know that

Hunk: God you're a dick

Carl: Tell me something I don't already know....

Echo: So what's the plan?

Carl: Oh we are giving up, seems like our only option

Echo: But...that means we fai....

Carl: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH...we don't use that word here...I like to say we accomplished the mission without doing anything at all

Echo: But really though?

Carl: Hey I don't judge your choices in life don't judge mine

Echo: BUT I DON'T HAVE A LIFE!

Carl: Hey you said it not me

Echo: Ughhhh.....

*Mute walks up with a glowing orb*

Carl: And what the fuck is that?

Mute: *silence*

Carl: Wonderful

Echo: I think it's a bomb

Hunk: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BRING THAT HERE?!

*Mute throws ball at door*

Hunk: SINCE WHEN THE FUCK DID THROWING EXPLOSIVE DEVICES BECOME A GOOD IDEA?!"

*The bomb hits the door causing it to explode open*

Hunk: Huh....no shit....

Carl: Well....screw Carl's plan then....it's cool

Echo: At least we can continue on mission

Carl: Yeah because that's what we wanted to do and all.....

Hunk: Want to talk about it?

Carl: No...

*The team moves forward into an open room*

Carl: Well isn't that just fanfuckingtastic, a dead end

Hunk: Ever get that "We are trapped" vibe?

Toby: I used to get that when my uncle would take me on a ride in his van

*Carl and Toby stare at Toby*

Toby: He asked me if I liked hard candy

Carl: Shut up

Toby: K.....

*The Illusionist appears*

Carl: Well, look at that, looks like we don't have to look for him after all

The Illusionist: I'm a girl you dick

Hunk: I'm sorry, say what now?

The Illusionist: Ya know a girl? A female, ya fuckin assholes

Carl: This is awkward

Hunk: *Facepalms* This is why we have so many Equal Opportunity briefs

The Illusionist: Ugh...I was planning to kill all three of you quickly but now I'm just going to do it nice and slow

Carl: I am terrified and oddly aroused at the same time

Hunk: Dreg Fuck....

Carl: You Shut you're whore mouth

The Illusionist: Ya know what, I'm just gonna kill you now

Carl: So feisty

*The Illusionist begins shooting at the team*

Hunk: JESUS!

Carl: You think she'd let me have her number?

Echo: NOT THE TIME OR PLACE!

*Mute appears behind the Illusionist and stabs her with a sword, she falls to the ground and dies*

Carl: *Sniff* We could have had something special...

Hunk: Dude...seriously

Carl: DON'T JUDGE ME!

Echo: Well...glad that's over

Toby: I FOUND MORE EXOTICS!

Carl, Hunk, and Echo: TOBY NO!

*Explosion goes off*

Space Force United S2 EP: 8

*The Team continues to search for the remaining Barrons*

Hunk: What's next on the to-do list?

Carl: Deadshot

Echo: And for those not understanding your cult classic references

Carl: The Marksmen

Toby: IT SHALL BE A BATTLE OF WITS

*Carl looks at Toby*

Carl: Which you will lose...

Toby: I'm smart

Carl: No

Toby: I have an ADHD

Hunk: Not even remotely close to what you were trying to say

Toby: Yes

Carl: Fucking moron....

Echo: You are the most dysfunctional group of Guardians I have had the most displeasure to be around....

*Cass appears*

Cass: I just call them idiots

Carl: CHRIST STOP JUST POPPING UP!

Cass: Missed you too

Carl: Where the hell have you been this entire time?

Cass: What do you mean??

Hunk: You missed out on all the fun we have been having

Toby: I got blown up

Cass: Oh right....yeah I tend to avoid your confrontations

Carl: I've noticed

Hunk: But where have you been???

Cass: do you know what we do when we aren't picking your asses up from off the ground??

Carl: Enlighten us

Cass: ugh....we usually report to command on any updates regarding your missions, most of the time I'm just there and Nimble does all the talking

Hunk: That son of a bitch

Cass: Anyways, command needs you to hurry up, apparently Uldren found something at the Shard and is planning on going to the Dreaming City

Carl: What the hell is that Disney bullshit?

Cass: It's the Awoken City

Hunk: They have their own city?

Carl: I want my own city.....

Cass: Focus...command needs to you finish things up here

Carl: Have they not seen what fucktonafun we have been dealing with??

Cass: Well lucky for you command wants to give you an upgrade

Carl: Do what now?

Hunk: That's sounds like a lot of work

Echo: And that is why we are in this mess

Carl: Hey, no one invited you to join us

Mute: *nods*

Carl: AND YOU!

Mute: *Cocks weapon*

Carl: Uh.....you unshut the fuck up

Mute: *grunts*

Cass: Your getting new abilities, apparently the Shard has decided to grant new abilities to Guardians, why I have no fucking clue

Toby: It must be Christmas

Cass: Not now Toby

Toby: I hope I'm not on the naughty list...

*A blast flys past the team*

Everyone: SON OF A BITCH!

Toby: We're being shot at

Carl: NO SHIT PASTE EASTER!

Toby: I LIKE THE TEXTUREEEEEEE!

Cass: GET DOWN YOU DIPS SHITS!

Marksmen: Found you.....

Toby: I think he found us

Hunk: Not now Toby....

Carl: Okay, so anyone want to see if his still there?

Cass: Who the hell would be stupid enough to....

Toby: MEEEEEEEEEEE!

Cass: God damnit....

Marksmen: Bingo.....

Mute: *Taps Marksmen*

Marksmen: Shit....

*Explosion goes off*

Carl: Well at least Munich is good for something

Echo: His name is.....

Carl: I know what I said

Toby: I HELPED!!!!!!

Cass: I need a fucking vacation.....