MEMORIES...

" Mom, who are you making it for? "

Sweeping my hand on the walls of hallway, I lumbered back to the rocking chair where mom was leaning. In her lap, there was a few spool of threads along with a half done sweater.

Thus I presumed it must be the winter gifts for us, me & my brother. Actually, he was adopted by my parents from a shabby looking orphanage when he was six or something. As we weren't related by blood, we had a long distance between us. Our relationship had many gaps that was destine to be separated. How much care & love I poured over him as a little brother, at end of the day he solemnly rather stubbornly wouldn't shake off the fact.

Regardless of his silent treatment on me, I had always spread my arms, tried to left my affectionate heart ajar in case.... someday he might came across half running while panting heavily with ecstasy.

Well; at present, it seems near to impossible.

" Soon, there will be winter. So, I thought I should make some warm clothes for you two. Look, I picked the colour you choose. Do you like it? "

Her dimple simper reached to her eyes while swaying back and forth on the chair. Back then, being a ten year old boy, she was for me one of the most delightful, beloved person of my miniature world. But I won't deny it was less than my dad. I dolefully stared at my mom as if there won't be no tommorow. Perhaps, this will be the last time I saw what vivacity meant in my life. Except for trouble, affliction or whatever, I had always encircled by a fence named serene & felicity.

" What are you looking at? Do you need something, dear? " She asked with her ray of concerning gaze fell on me.

" Mom, I can't fell asleep. Can I sleep beside you tonight... " I requested with my adorable puppy eyes that I absolutely sure she couldn't afford to withhold it.

" But Meji, what about Omi? you know he has nyctophobia, he can't stay alone. " She took a pause for thinking of a solution then again continued, " How about this? we go to your room and I will sing a sweet lullaby to you. "

Maybe my satisfaction were shown through my face that let her predict. Putting the half done sweater aside, she took a long stance as her aged back had exhausted from propping against chair. Meanwhile, I had been too eager to take her there and listen to her celestial voice all night until the wave of slumber swashed me.

Clutching her gigantic hands in my tiny fingers somehow I managed to drag her though there was a huge bolster of her, " Come on; Mom. Come, quickly. "

Though she was behind me, I still could hear her giggles on my juvenile efforts, " Ha, ha. Meji, slow down. "

When we enter my room, I swiftly ran up to my bed. I prepared my bed in speed along with enthusiasm, burying myself in two layers of fleecy blankets.

I patted on the bedsheet beside me, signalizing her to take a seat. Likewise, she slowly took a seat while my back rested on bed, hand pressed against my stomach. The flabby yet rigid hand of her rumpled through my hair. I could feel the faded touch of her affections or the hushing sounds it made everytime her fingers collided with the black threads.

♪Come stop your crying

It will be alright

Just take my hand

Hold it tight ♪

....

♪My arms will hold you

Keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken♪

....

♪Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart♪

From faraway being in the present all by myself, I came to understand humans are liar. They like playing with other emotions, " Mom, where are those ' safe, warm arms ' ? "

I don't know when I fell asleep in the middle of my work. Though I'm still feeling a little drowsy. I wiped off my spilled drool from desk. Yawning loud, I stretched lazily like a cat. I know I must sound like a languid. The ticking clock onto my work desk give me a piercing stare of nine p.m. sharp, " OMG!!! it's nine. I passed three hours in sleep and haven't done a single chapter let alone four!!! Damn it "

But there's also something that was itching me deep down, causing a distraction on my work. I want to, though couldn't exactly shake off this thoughts. That stunning man who intrude in my house without my permission a couple of weeks ago, is really smashing my brain. It's not that I grow up a propensity towards him but the fact, his ' not showing up ' is kinda bothersome. I also absolutely understand that he doesn't have a thing to do with me so why would he knock on a stranger's door.

Yet the face of his is really floating around my vision. His elegant complexion, his style of talking, those brown blur eyes and many stuff which are too impossible to be unnoticeable. How miraculous it would be if he somehow stop by my place! Of course; in my imagination. Anyway, I walk up barefooted to the patio gilding by his memories.

Above, the faded night sky is hazed with cotton clouds infact there is nothing to be seen not even a star just as my life, my daily doldrums. Same bumming me rotating around ' work, food, sleep ' and jump on days after day. Cursing myself everyday, why do I live? Then at the next trice, yelp for help, please somebody save me? it's cannot be endure anymore;

Not a quite few days ago, there was nothing but dismal in my thinking or in my emotions. And now I'm little glad that at least someone I have; to think about. I know, Saori - san is no one but a stranger who I may never meet again.

Even if it's true, I still like to drift into his mesmerizing features. He sat on the right exact place where I am standing now.

His fix gaze over the garden was as if everything enclosing him had vanished. The thing only exited was he & the flowers not even me. Even though, he was an yakuza from his attire including the blatant tattoo of a swan done on his neck, with his behavior he was just a reflection of the blazing sun.

For the first time in years, I have seen how much vigour, radiance a tiny smile could have, those two beige marbles filled with curious was dynamite, " Well, I should go back, now. "

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*