Friends (1)

"So noisy…."

Julian sighed then nodded.

What Liam said was true. It had been a few hours since he came, but these boys that claimed to be visitors were not helping at all. Reed and Jahleel already retired to their rooms and decided to have a game night with the consoles they brought. Meanwhile, Aaron was too absorbed in telling Nerida and Liam all his adventures that Julian already had enough of it. So, he decided to cook something he could whip up with the ingredients in the refrigerator. However, when he finished, Aaron was still at it. But… Nerida was skillfully directing the tide of the conversation.

"He won't stop until he gets to the point where we are right now."

"... that long? I want to sleep now."

"Did you already take your medicines?"

"Yeah."

"Great. I'll just give you warm milk."

"Thanks."

"No problem, man."

Julian left the room then went to get a porcelain cup, poured three and a half tablespoons of powdered milk, filled two-thirds of the cup with hot water, stirred, and filled the cup one-third of lukewarm water. He entered Liam's bedroom again, ignoring Aaron and gave Liam his warm milk. Thankfully, Aaron stopped chattering and was yawning.

"I'm parched, Jul."

"Drink water then."

"Get one for me?"

"Then suffer there."

"Okay, fine… and, Nerida, where's my bedroom?"

"I already hung a plate on the door. You'll know if you went upstairs."

"Okay! Thanks, man!"

"Ha ha ha. Yes."

Aaron stood up then went out.

"Sorry about that," Julian said as he smiled wryly.

"No, it's fine. It was like I was talking with a grandfather. It is always a welcoming experience."

"Pfft. Did Aaron just become a grandfather? Pfft. Aha ha ha ha!"

"... I don't mean it that way! It's just, he is giving off the vibes of a grandfather…."

"Yes, yes. By the way, I cooked some cauliflower soup with cheddar cheese. Since Liam can't stomach solid food these days...."

"Thank you, Julian. You're really thoughtful. Can I have some?"

Julian smiled then gestured at the pot. "You are always free to take a few bowls."

Nerida nodded then went to the rack to get a spoon and bowl.

"Wait!" Julian exclaimed.

"Yes?"

"I should be the one who would serve you! Sit there patiently!"

"... I understand. By the way, Julian," Nerida said as she sat on the comfortable dining chair.

"What is it?" He said as he scooped up a ladle of the soup, a bowl of white rice and a freshly baked fish with a lemon on the side.

"... since when did you learn how to cook?"

"Well… you know the school I am currently attending?"

"Yes."

"We can't afford it, but my parents really wanted me to study there, so they worked a lot when I was only at elementary to save money for their future business venture. I was the only one left at home back then, so I went to my aunt and learned how to cook. She's really rich, you know? I wonder why my parents doesn't want to borrow money or take a loan…?"

Suddenly, Nerida started breathing heavily.

"Nerida! What's wrong?!"

Nerida shook her head and gave him a tired smile.

"No, don't tell me it's nothing. It's obviously something! Tell me, what's wrong?" Julian stretched out his hand to give a comforting pat on her shoulder, but he was rejected with a smack.

"No, I mean… I'm sorry, but I'm really okay."

".... okay," he was about to retreat when Nerida's hands went to grab his arms. It was a forceful touch, but he didn't complain. Rather, he knew that she needed this.

"I'm really sorry. I know that this is kind of cruel for me, but I want you to stay… even just for a little bit."

"Can I hug you?" He asked, since he knew that a hug would be comforting for a person this broken.

"...... I'm scared."

"Of what?" Julian gently asked.

"...... I'm so scared… I'm sorry…."

"Nerida… I'm here."

"I know I am contradicting myself, but… but… I'm so scared of being happy. I know that things come and go, and that's what I am living for. People are always leaving me, keeping me in chains or whatever! I keep on thinking that, what if I cherished someone so dearly that broke down the walls around my heart, and they will eventually leave me? I know it's inevitable! But! I can't help thinking about it! They'll leave me anyway, so I can't even build bridges between us and I ended up enstranged, and I hated it," she sobbed. Her hold on him tightened and her clear and teary eyes gazed through the eyes of the boy, no, the man before her with understanding in his eyes. She continued, "You… you're the only one that saved me…."

"Saved you? ...… Are you… perhaps… that girl?"

"You saved me… I can't remove what you told me back then. Life is so precious, so I have to treasure it. I still don't understand, but I am trying to 'treasure' this worthless life of mine--"

"You're not worthless! You're here for a reason! We still don't know, but we will know eventually!"

"... truth to be told, I don't know if I even have the drive to look for a reason to live. I know that life is precious, but I can't just take it anymore…. I'm so tired…," she loosely smiled then loosened her hold of Julian. "Thank you for listening, Julian. It really means a lot to me."

"... Nerida…. Let me help you. Please?"

"What kind of help though? My memories are what's killing me. The way I am raised is what's making me suffer. The thing is, I realized this too early. I am so tired of being positive, of being optimistic. But… I ended up doing it again. The things that I am tired of, I keep on doing it. Again and again. Because… I am also afraid…. I am so useless."

"You know, there are a lot of contradictions in our lives. I learned that in some way. The day you discovered me? I was bullied that day. I have no energy to go home and it left me hopeless. Then, you appeared with your bright smile. You also saved me, Nerida."

Nerida looked up abruptly and scanned his visage. She appeared to be confused as she failed to understand what Julian was saying.

"I am also tired of life, you know? But we are still teenagers, this is a part of life. We want to discover things because we are curious creatures. You know that, right?"

"... yes."

"However… your note kept me to look forward in the future. I wanted to see you. I want to be your friend so bad. Yes, I still want to. Nerida… I want to make you smile so bright like the sun that shone upon me. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to see you smile so mechanically or forcefully whenever I want to. What I want is to see you happy."

"Even if I will give you problems in the future?" Nerida asked as she wiped her wet cheeks.

"Give me all the problems that you want to give me. But… you have to solve it with me."

"... okay. I'll try."

"That's good enough. So, when will you give me your answer?"

"... yes, I will be your friend."

"Can I hug you now?"

"......."

"Hm… I guess that's still a no. But! You have to tell me everything that happened to you when you're ready, okay? I'll tell you mine too!"

"Okay, I will."

"Yes! We're officially friends now! Thank you so much!"

Nerida grabbed Julian's arms. "Thank you too."

"Let me guess. Now, you are afraid to lose me?"

".... yes, but I promise that I will do my best to… uhm…."

"You don't have to finish that, Nerida. I won't force you to do something you don't want to do. This friendship will be one of your foundations to be stronger when you're older. Even I know that I will be stronger when I am with you. I am also afraid to lose you, you know? So, we call it even."

"Looks like you knew that I am afraid to lose you now because you are also afraid to lose me."

"That's right! And I am keeping that fear!"

"I will also keep this fear in me…."

"What?! Why would you?!"

"Because… I know that I will cherish you."

"But that would be in the near future, yes? I understand."

"... I hope so too."

Julian smiled warmly then gestured at the dining table. "Nerida, the food has gone cold. I'll see if Liam is awake."

"I understand."