The beginning after the end
Today 11.09.2018 was going to be a great day...
A rainy day (fewer reasons to go outside), I was on holidays, only at home, naked (for comfort), with the fridge full of food not recommended by any nutritionist, with my € 2000 computer, a high definition screen and all the manga, anime, comics, series, movies and online novels that the internet could offer me (Porn too ... obviously ... but I did not see necessary to specify it).
The plan was:
1: Sleep until I could not sleep anymore (11:30)
2: For breakfast, ice cream with cola and five grapes (you have to eat 5 pieces of fruit every day)
3: Go to my room and messing around until lunchtime (from time to time go to the bathroom)
4: Eat pizza, ketchup with chips (YES… in that order), cola and ice cream (you have to eat healthy)
5: Go to my room and messing around until diner time (from time to time go to the bathroom)
6: Dinner a 4 floors burger, ketchup with chips, cola, ice cream ... and ice cream cake (they advise to eat little at night)
7: Go to my room and messing around until I faint (from time to time go to the bathroom)
...
Everything seems to indicate that it would be the perfect day (perfect for a hardcore geek)...
Until 45 minutes after finishing the breakfast between the sound of thunders of that rainy day...
"FUCK! INTERNET IS GONE!🤬"
I went into utter panic, for more than an hour I was connecting and disconecting the router without any good result.
I called the technical service to find a solution ... and they suggested a brilliant idea ... So I told them very politely:
"I HAVE BEEN MORE THAN ONE HOUR CONNECTING AND DISCONNECTING THE FUCKING RUTER BEFORE CALLING YOU! DO YOU TRULY BELIEVE THAT I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE CALLING YOU? SAY SOMETHING USEFUL, FUCKING ASSHOLE!🤬🤬🤬👿👿👿"
After much insistence, they told me that the electrical storm had caused problems in the network
Therefore, I would have to wait a few hours until they fixed it.
I was disconnected from civilization.
...
"Well, to kill time I will watch some movie that I have stored on my computer ... for that, the internet is not necessary"
...
Do you know Murphy? The Murphy of the Murphy's law? Well ... That day he was crushing me.
...
"FUCK! ELECTRICITY ALSO CRAESHED! GOD ARE YOU FUCKING KIDING ME?🤬"
…
I was bored very bored…
Some people when they get bored try to do constructive things, like studying, cleaning the house, exercising ... Fortunately or unfortunately ... I was not that kind of person.
The best idea I could think of was to play with a decorative object that I had at home, throwing it through the air.
It was a kind of stone (like marble or granite) with the size of a ping-pong ball
I found it on the beach when I was a child.
I kept it because of the shape it was very similar to the yin-yang symbol, even the colors
However, in the middle of both white and black, there was a point of grayish color, which I found very unique and interesting ... especially because I am a geek that loves this kind of things.
...
At one point, when I had grown tired of throwing the ying yang stone in the air, I sat on a kitchen chair and studied the same ying yang stone...
Tilting the chair as much as possible
Why? You will surely ask me
I don't know
Have you ever got bored in class and the first thing that come to you was either paint your nails with the marker, tilt the chair or draw a penis on the first surface you found?
Well ... This was my idea to spend time now
…
Do you remember Murphy? The Murphy of the Murphy's law? That man still had a big surprise for me that day.
Suddenly and without waiting for it I heard the sound of a very loud thunder...
The fright made me fall from the chair giving me a big blow to the head... that made me scream in pain.
But that is not the end of the joke… because…
The yin yang stone I was examining fell ... with such good luck (sarcasm) that it fell directly into my mouth.
What made me unable to breathe.
Due to the blow, the suffocation and the position in which I found myself...
I was unable to expel the stone no matter how hard I tried or wanted to.
I didn't want to admit it but...
I was going to die.
I felt the cold hand of death approaching me and I fought to avoid it by drawing my strength on the reasons why I should live...
Like watching the end of One piece, playing Kingdom Hearts 3, see Infintity Wars 2, kill the creator Death Note (Netflix version), etc.
However, everything was useless, I could not get air.
...
So, my last seconds of life I thought:
[THIS MUST BE THE MOST PATHETIC DEATH OF HISTORY!🤦♂️
Imagine the headlines ... Found dead a man naked in his kitchen because he had suffocated with a stone that had swallowed because he was doing the stupid in a chair😂😫]
[I'm about to overcome the death of Kazuma from Konosuba.😩
I hope there is no useless goddess in a few moments😅]
[Seriously ... Why so many misfortunes happen on September 11?😟]
…
…
…
I'm death 😑
HOWEVER!☝
For some reason… I was thinking… therefore I am
For some reason… I was feeling my body… therefore I am X2
But for some reason I could not move well, I could not speak, just as before I could not breathe but I didn't notice that I was lacking oxygen...
I felt that I was in a narrow space, warm, in which I could not smell anything, or see anything...
The only useful senses that I had left was the touch with which to confirm my existence and the things around me… and the hearing with which I could only hear certain sounds
After a time of exploration, deduction, imagination and sleep...
I concluded that I was a fetus, probably in the fourth or fifth month.
And that those sounds surely belonged to my mother's heart and/or the conversations she had ... which were few and were in a language I had never heard before…
…
[FUCK! I've reincarnated! I knew there was no heaven or hell ... FUCK YOU GOD! 😂
I'm like a protagonist of Xuanhuan novel🤩]
[OH YEAH! In these situations, it would be best to start cultivating from this stage🤓
This will surely make me stronger than anyone and I will be a super genius like Ling Tian🤪]
[Well ... but I don't know any cultivation method... 😅
I don't even know if that is possible in this world or another... or if the cultivation is only a fantasy... 😵
Although I have reincarnated with my memories intact ... everything is possible🤔]
…
[Well ... I don't lose anything by trying😂]
[SYSTEM ARE YOU HERE?🙋♂️]
[SYSTEM ARE YOU HERE?🙋♂️]
[SYSTEM...?😩]
[I don't have karma points or something like that?😣]
...
[There is no answer... perfect...😒]
[But I'm glad... 😅
[I don't want to hear voices in my head, some call it System, others schizophrenia😂
Systems does not make any sense...😤
They are annoying😒
They make you become lazy🤔
They are too convenient😞
There are no logical explanation of how they work🤓
And besides ... if I had one I would feel like someone was harassing me😖
…
[What a bore😩]
…
[Oh sure, how had it never thought about it before? Am I a boy or a girl?🤨
Please let me be a man! 🙏
I don't want a sex change, I have lived 26 years as a man and I liked it.😫]
[UFF how lucky I am, I have a penis😌... and quite long one for a baby😎 ... Luck X2🤣]
…
[What a bore😩]
...
[I will try to sleep the time that remains until I am born... 😑
The last time I tried to do something when I got bored didn't end very well😂]
…
And so the days went by, in which I only slept.
I tried to have some control over my body and get information from the outside without success (parents are very quiet people) and I thought about what the outside would give me.
What kind of world will I be born in?
How will my parents be?
Will I have good genes?
Will I be able to make myself stronger as in the novels or manga?
How many months have I been here? Seriously, I'm getting bored
…
That was my daily routine ... until one day after sleeping...
I opened my eyes and for the first time in a long time...
I saw light...