He always loved reading about dark fantasy books, and epic movies with all there killing and gore he always thought that been born in a powerful family and in a different race was exciting. So he wished for that, and he wrote about it, and finally, after his death, he had his wish granted.

Thrill Hunter

Based on First Chapter Alone

A lot of missing commas, misuse and/or overuse of the word "and," and a lot of run-on sentences making it hard to read. There isn't a proper flow. But this is only the first paragraph, maybe things will improve. 

Second paragraph is a super long run-on sentence. 

Third paragraph doesn't start with a capital letter and the list is... all in quotation marks instead of a bullet point format. 

Your wish had been granted, in the past. But not now... So, when had the wish been granted? 

No offence, but you might need to partner up with a proofreader or even better yet, an editor to polish up your chapter(s). 

Otherwise, good read. Story idea is not original, but it's executed quite well. Will be looking forward to reading next chapter. :D 

Writing Quality 2/5 
Story Idea 4/5