Chapter 30: Ruminating,Nostalgic memories.

Yang Jiang carefully settled herself in front of the vanity mirror ready for the makeup artist to do her job. Yang Jiang closed her eyes to allow the make-up artist access to her face and couldn't help but think about the past.

The past that seemed endless, the past that seemed full of sorrow, loneliness, sadness, and heartbreak. It was a past without family, no younger brother who could joke with her, no younger brother who could hug and comfort her. There was a time when thinking brought nothing but a little bitterness to one's mouth. A past that she thought she would never get herself rid of, one that she thought would follow her for the rest of her life. This past gave her no peace of mind nor of soul, one that broke her not only inside but also physically, one that made her mentally tired!

It seemed like an endless abyss, one that shook her to the bottom of her heart, when she was living it. It was the kind of pain that you could not know the origin of. It was neither heartbreak from a lover, disappointment from failing a test, nor tiredness from the challenges of the world. It had no cause, one that you could not know the root of, one that you could not even imagine getting out of, as the kind of pain that felt so normal which was more of a companion, which when lost could seem done that when one when abandoned a person would feel lost, one that when forgotten a person would have to rethink the meaning of life, one that was bitter to the soul but tasted like honey to the heart, pain that one would not imagine of it ending, one that would seem too real for a dream to wake up from, too far a destination to walk from, one that made you fall in love with it, fall so deep that you were okay with talking to yourself for comfort since the inner you has too much pain for you two to be out of stories to exchange, the inner you crying out her troubles and the outer you consoling her, pain that becomes a companion, becomes a family, motivation to keep going.

For example, it is not the drive that motivates you to keep striving for a better life. Instead, it is the drive to find out and discover just how screwed up your life can be. The point is to see how much more hell you can endure, and what else will make you crumble. This is so we can determine whether there is anything else that could cause you to break down, such as past hardships, challenges, and problems.

You just reached a point in life where you feel like visiting hell. It's all just so you can experience all the pain and damage the devil has in store for you. This is in order to get it over with since he keeps on dosing you with it. The devilIt's possible that the devil doesn't know that his dosage of damage, destruction, and breaking down doesn't work on you anymore. Your pain has become numb, and all you see is powder. The powder cannot be shattered anymore, so you're not even broken anymore, you're just plain powder. Could you be damaged by anything else? Crush the powder!

Those that say they will live without families are far from okay. A friend, lover a business mate, can also be family, family is whoever stands with you in the harshest of situations, in the hardest of times, is whoever comes to mind first when in trouble, there is no day when one would be in trouble without themselves coming to mind as the person to ask for help, and that is why I believe those who believe they have no family and can be independent without anyone, they are living in a bubble where they see everything only from the outside in because no matter what, there will always be one person in your life that will be the first person you think about when you're in trouble.

Yang Jiang could not help but sigh heavily, if only.

If only she had looked at the situation from an outsider's point of view, or another perspective, then she would not have gone through all the pain she had gone through, if only she had stopped to ask herself why her parents were treating her the way they were, if only she had stopped to ask why her mother loved her up until that moment, if only she had taken the initiative to ask instead of shutting herself in, then maybe, just maybe she and her family would not have had to suffer the emotional breakdown they had suffered.

Then she would not be thinking of so many ifs.

If only one would abandon their ego and self-pity and just take out the phone, dial that number and ask why, if only we could stop blaming our misfortunes on other people and take a look at what we are doing wrong, if only we would stop inflicting more pain on ourselves because of unanswered questions, and just take out the damned phone dial that number and ask why, when we became this way and what made us the way we are, then maybe a whole lot of relationships would still be secured, stronger and long-lasting.

In that case, maybe they wouldn't have regrets in this world. Then maybe no one would weep to see an ex marry, and no one would commit suicide because of a misunderstanding. Furthermore, there would not be too many single parents and children raised without knowing the other parent. Then perhaps we would not need to attend therapy after failed relationships.

Perhaps most of us would not have to pretend we can do better by ourselves. Therefore, we would not need to destroy our lives on social media to prove to the other party that we are okay even without them in the picture. So maybe we don't need to make fun of ourselves just to prove a point, a point that is the exact opposite of what we are trying to suggest. A point that clearly shows we are not okay.

It is not easy, but for those living without emotional support from a loved one, my hats off to them.

"Ma'am, ma'am!"

Yang Jiang was awoken from her trance by the stylist Susu.

Yang Jie looked at the stylist, still in her thoughts, as if she wanted to know what was going on. Susu pointed in the mirror, and Yang Jiang stared straight at herself and found that she was covered with tears. Her face turned crimson from embarrassment.

Susu seeing the atmosphere become awkward tried to break the silence. "I" I tried calling out to you but it seems, you were too deep in your thoughts, but it is normal ma'am, almost all of the brides I do makeup on cry, well you have to since you are leaving your family, and also getting married to the man of your dreams, and from how close you are to your sibling, you would not be so happy parting with him, and from how handsome sir is, I bet you are also crying tears of joy, you are so lucky," Susu said with a dreamy expression.

Yang Jiang stared at herself in the mirror, and a smile slowly formed on her lips. "I am indeed lucky, family, and a loving man. The only thing missing is my career, which I will be having soon, I am lucky."

Susu did a few touch-ups here and there, and the bride was good to go since Yang Jie's face was already pretty adding to her smooth, glowing face, with her twinkling, serene eyes added with mascara and some eyeliner made them even sexier, with her already pouty and delicate lips, with a little bit of lipstick, her lips looked all the more fleshy and luscious.

In a private room, with some music in the background, two people are facing each other. The first was a middle-aged woman and the second was a handsome middle-aged man with a roguish and perverted appearance. The woman sat facing the man her face full of disgust. This is because she had something to discuss with the man sitting opposite her. She would never have allowed herself to be in the same room as the man. Who did not know what a perverted, twisted mind he had? The man grinned at the woman picked up his glass of wine and twirled it around. He licked his lips looked at her, and then took a sip of his wine, eyes on the woman. She was sitting bare-naked. I don't think you should have that look on your face if you want us to work together. Therefore smile for me, please. The operation will quench the thirst for your revenge, won't it?

The woman quickly took her hands off the table, keeping them away from him. She held a cup of tea in her hands and wished that she could splash it on his face to wipe his wicked grin. His face. Then she gently placed the cup on the table, took a napkin, tapped her mouth a few times, and stood. She walked towards the door of the private room, but before she could walk out she turned back and with a murderous glint left a few words behind. " remember if you fail to do it that way, you will have to do it another way, as long as Yang Jiang and Wen Lin suffer, remember that person does not entertain failure twice if both ways fail and he has to step in, it will be your head he will be coming after."