Emotions

(PS, this chapter is about John)

John yawned as he sat up, it was the middle of the night, but he couldn't sleep. He felt weirder every day, maybe it's because it's becoming more difficult to think of her as just a friend.

His feelings were clear on the first day they met, her cold gaze attracted him, making him carious about what other emotions they would display. Plus, he had little to do, and life had been at a standstill since he graduated so he took the chance and gave her his number.

However, when he found that she wasn't someone who would waste her time on him, he wondered why. His curiosity grew just as his urge to get to know her.

Johnny felt happy at ease when talking to her and being with her was relaxing. He didn't care for the large things, he just enjoyed their simple conversation, he enjoyed hearing about her days, about her past, and the light in those very same eyes when they spoke of the future.

His feeling grew quickly and there wasn't anything he could do to hide it. So, he displayed his intentions by asking her out on small dates hoping she understood, yet it seems all to be pointless.

He yawned again before getting up walking outside, a figure was in the kitchen. He flinched surprised at the sight of her. Jessica walked out the kitchen carrying a wine glass and a bottle of wine, her hair slightly covering her face. She smiled at his reaction asking, "Can't sleep?"

He nodded glancing at the bottle then at her and she sighed asking, "It's about Jian, isn't it?" He nods and she placed the bottle down asking, "Is it about how you feel?"

He glanced up wide eyed slightly and she smiled saying, "It's not hard to see that you liked her so what is it that's bothering you?"

"I- I-," he sighed the words wouldn't get out. Jessica smile as she reached toward the bottle opener uncorking the bottle as she waited. John glanced at her saying, "I," he paused glancing at Jian's room before continuing, "I like Jian, and I am afraid that she doesn't feel the same way. I don't want to ruin the relationship I have with her right now by making my emotions clear."

Jessica nodded pouring herself a glass, taking a sip, as he continued saying, "Plus, if I ask her out right now, it'll look inappropriate since I am already 17 and she's only 14. I don't want her to be treated negatively because of me."

Jessica glanced at the boy's eyes, it was true he like Jian and he worried for her enough to stop himself from changing the way things were. "Johnny, do you want to know something?" Jessica asked as she sat down finishing the wine in the glass, and he frowned but he assumed that it was the alcohol talking so he nodded walking towards the table sitting down.

She smiled as she asks, "Can you guess what age I was when I started dating?" He frowned shaking his head and she smiled saying, "I was 18 years old, and it was my first and only relationship."

She stopped pouring herself another glass before she placed the bottle down as he asked, "You would like me to wait till she's 18?" Jessica shook her head before continuing asking, "No that's not my point, now can you guess how old my partner was?"

"21," John guessed, and she took a sip before saying, "Close, he was 23 when we met, and he only took 3 months before he proposed."

John frowned and she smiled at his expression saying, "You are probably wondering if I am even talking about myself but yes. I got married at 19 and it is a decision I will never regret, why because the man I married was clear about his intentions and I loved that about him."

She paused as she took another sip before saying gently, "He made his emotions clear, he wanted to be with me because I made him feel safe, loved, and if you feel this with Jian you should also make your emotions clear."

He nods gently but his face still held a worried expression and Jessica smiled saying, "I understand that you're worried about her rejection, or the aftermath of dating someone much older at her age. However, you should know by now Jian is very detriment so if she feels the same way she'll want to be with you and if not, you can wait till she's ready."

He nods and she sighed getting up saying, "Plus you two's age gap of two years and a few months is nothing compared to the 14-year age gap between my own parents."

He blinked surprise and she laughed at his expression as she grabbed the bottle saying, "My mother married father at 21 and had me 22 years later after doing every she wanted to." He blinked surprised saying, "Your mom was free spirited."

Jessica nodded as she took another sip saying, "She was, makes me regret some of my choices." He frowned and she smiled saying, "Don't worry about it, you already have plenty of things on your plate and Johnny if do decide to ask Jian out formally, let me know in advance okay."

He nods saying, "Thank you, miss Kim." Jessica nodded walking towards her room closing the doors behind her. John frowned slightly at the single glance of many wine bottles on the work desk along with a few on the floor.

He sighed, it was not his place to intervene, he got up grabbing a bottle of water and reaching for the sleeping pills bottle in the medicine cabinet. He frowned, it was empty, he sighed placing it back before taking a picture and closing the door.

John walked back to Jian's room getting comfortable on the floor. His eyes closed as he thought about what to do next. His thoughts returned to Jessica's advice multiple times, and it reassured him that his emotions weren't wrong and had their own value. He felt the need to express his emotions soon, so he started planning on how to ask her out formally. He wanted it to be special, and something that she would love.