How much have I Changed?

Tension has spread throughout my body. Every inch of skin feels tight, and I can't stop my hands from shaking. I can hear my instincts screaming to run away. I can't believe that I have to do this. I take a deep breath and steel my nerves. This is the job that I've been assigned. I knock on the door.

"H-hey, Sh-Shigaraki. It's a-almost time to leave," I say, with all the false confidence that I can muster. No response. This could be my one chance to retreat and live to fight another day. Before I can consider this possibility, I hear movement on the other side of the door. Then silence. Then,

THUMP.

The light sound of a pillow colliding with the door. Shigaraki starts talking, his voice even less audible than usual.

"Gimme me five minutes.". I'm gonna take that as the possible outcome. I can't even bring myself to reply before scurrying down the stairs. Even after living in the same place for months, he terrifies me. Usually it isn't that bad though. I guess that I'm just nervous about my mission today.

Despite my attempts to calm down, I must still look like a wreck because Kurogiri looks concerned as I walk down the stairs. "Are you alright Midoriya?" he says as he dries glasses. The fact that someone with such an sinister appearance can be so genuine still surprises me.

"I'm fine, just worried about the mission. I've never had to do anything like this," I say with little confidence. "It might help if your disguise was bit more in order.". I give him a questioning look.

"Your tie," he says while pointing at my chest.

Instead of a slender diamond shape, my tie looks like a clenched fist made of fabric. "Yeah, I've always been really bad at that. Dad was never around so I've never been given a proper explanation," I say absentmindedly. A few moments pass before Kurogiri places the glass on the bar and begins to walk towards me. I don't react, too curious to discover his intentions.

He moves his hands towards my neck and for a second, I think that he's going to strangle. Instead , he begins to unravel my mess of a tie. Neither of us speak as he methodically works through the motions. Right over left, left over right, right under right. His fluid motions only serve to prevent me from interpreting any potential lesson. He eventually finishes transforming my pathetic attempt into an actual article of clothing and tucks it into the uniform.

"When you get back from the mission," he says cooly, pausing for a moment, "I'll teach you how to do it properly on your own.". He turns around and resumes drying the glasses. A part of me is incredibly embarrassed by the fact that I had to have someone else fix my tie for me, but that shame is mixed with a bit of appreciation for the shadowy man in front of me.

Any nice, warm feelings that I was experiencing are suddenly erased by footsteps coming down the stairs. I turn to see Shigaraki, clad in all black once again. This is a stealth mission so at least the black makes more sense than it usually does. Still, the image of a stealthy figure is somewhat ruined by the disembodied hand that rests on his face. At this point, I know better than to ask about it. Shigaraki takes advantage of my silence in order to examine my disguise.

"Yep, you look like U.A. trash to me," he says with a condescending tone. I choose to ignore his passive aggressive comment, focusing on my outfit as well. It was pretty easy to get a uniform made for me and it fits in all the right places. But something about it just rubs me the wrong way. I feel like this uniform belongs to someone else, not me.

Kurogiri glances at the clock and my eyes follow. 11:25 am. He turns back to adress me and Shigaraki. "You have five minutes before you leave. I want both of you to repeat what your objective is."

Shigaraki lets out a sigh and starts to speak in an annoyed tone."As soon as lunch starts, I open the security doors and let the press in." Kurogiri nods and turns towards me.

"While the teachers and students are panicked by the press, I find and copy the class schedules so that we know when A-All Might is most vulnerable," I respond, doing me best to sound impartial. Just thinking about what All for One said is enough to make my stomach turn.

"We are going to kill the Symbol of Peace. The Number One Hero. All Might.".

His words didn't feel real. They came out so casually, as if the statement didn't hold any real importance. Kurogiri and Shigaraki looked unfazed, like All for One had just said that the sky was blue. It only took a few moments for my disbelief to boil over.

"Kill All Might? What's that supposed to mean?!" I said, much louder than I meant to. My outburst must've been unexpected because nobody speaks for a few seconds. Shigaraki moves to respond, but All for One quickly interjects.

"Midoriya, surely you did not take my statement literally," he says with a bit of caution. "I apologize if my crude language failed to properly convey my meaning. We are going to kill the Symbol of Peace,"he says, placing emphasis on symbol. "The idea of All Might. A shining hero that can do no wrong. If we show that he can fail, by defeating him, then the peaceful illusion falls apart. It will be that much easier to educate the masses on the flaws of hero society.".

All for One's words are too eloquent, even for him. It's clear that he's thought out his response. I don't trust him, but it's not like I can say no. All for One gave me a quirk and more importantly, a chance. A chance to do something, be something. I owe everything to him. So I just need to believe in him for now.

I nod my head in response. All for One seems pleased, as his next words are now free of any trepidation. "Excellent. Allow me to explain the plan.".

I'm snapped out of my recollections by Shigaraki.

"Midoriya, we're leaving now!" he hisses at me. Kurogiri is already opening the warp gate. I lightly clap my cheeks, trying my best to focus. I already decided that I was gonna go through with this. Shigaraki walks through the portal and I quickly follow.

Our surroundings change from a dark, cramped bar to large, open lawn near a tall building. The two of us have landed just behind the main building of U.A. High School. I can see multiple track fields and simulation joints off in the distance. If not for the mission, I would be tempted to explore the campus a bit.

"Don't screw this up," Shigaraki whispers before darting away. He moves quickly, analyzing the building's perimeter closely. It only takes a few seconds for him to find a locked service entrance. The lock is quickly reduced to dust and he slips without a sound. It won't be long until he lets in all the reporters. I have to be in position by then.

I turn on my heel and start making my way around to the main entrance. The specific spot where we appeared wasn't covered by cameras, according to All for One, but the same can't be said for everywhere else. I have to do my best to look like a lost student. I was mainly chosen for this role because I can blend in with the other kids fairly easily. Additionally, I've been inside the school a few times for field trips and tours so I can roughly remember the layout. By the time I reach the front doors, I can already hear the chatter of students. This is the perfect moment to blend into the crowd, but I can't move. I really thought I had gotten over it but one question keeps surfacing in my thoughts.

What if someone recognizes me?

There's no chance of that happening. The news report about me was months ago and my name hasn't been brought up once since then. Plus, it was such a minor crime so the odds of someone remembering me is slim. I keep repeating these words to myself as I enter the lobby. The interior isn't all that impressive for such a prestigious school. Awards and photos line the walls but as soon as I enter the halls, it becomes incredibly sparse. There is a small river of students flowing through the corridors and I decide to blend in with them. I keep my hands in my pockets in an effort to hide how badly I'm shaking. Just keep your head down and hope nobody asks your name. After a bit of walking, I can see the students' destination. The cafeteria.

There are dozens of tables, each of them packed with students. Combined with the number of students waiting in line to buy food and I just wonder how everyone finds a spot to sit. My nerves ease up a little because there's no way that I'd be recognized in a crowd like this. I travel along the wall in order to find another entrance that I can leave. When Shigaraki deactivates the security measures, I do not want to be in a highly populated place. I eventually find an exit that's close to the Hero's Department rooms. That'll be the best place to find a complete schedule for All Might. Just as I start to walk through the door, I hear loud, brash voice.

"Damn it! Look at all these extras hogging up the line!"

I immediately flatten myself against the wall. A group of 5 people walk past. At the center is a kid with platinum blond, spiky hair and sharp red eyes. I have to cover my mouth to stop myself from making any noise. I haven't even thought about him in all this time. More importantly, if anyone's gonna recognize me, it would be him. It doesn't look like he's noticed me. He's too absorbed in conversation with some red-haired guy. I sidle along the wall, all my attention focused on Bakugo. I'm so distracted that I accidently knock over a trash can. It draws a few glances from nearby students and more importantly, from him. I quickly turn my back towards Bakugo in an effort to hide my face. Still, I can't resist the urge to turn back for just one look. Initially, he looks pretty disinterested. But his apathy slowly shifts into curiosity and the into recognition. He begins to take a step towards me.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The alarm blares, the harsh tones echoing throughout the room. Almost every student looks upwards in order to determine the sounds' origin, including Bakugo. I take the opportunity and dash out of the cafeteria into the hallway. If the alert is going off, that means that Shigaraki has already let the press in. I should already be in position by now but I let Bakugo distract me. The silent shock in the cafeteria has been replaced by a chaotic mob.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

With the students in a panic and the teachers looking for the source of the security breach, I should be fine to comb through some teacher's desk. I push my feet forward, determined to succeed on my first mission. But the thought of Bakugo looking at me keeps dragging me down. His piercing gaze turns my body into lead.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I thought that after all this time and all of my training, I would be able to face any challenge. Yet all it takes is my old, childhood bully to reduce me back to the wimp that I used to be.

I don't know how, but I manage to force myself to keep moving. Luckily, the constant repeat of the alarm perfectly covers up the sound of my feet pounding against the floor. I run for several minutes, passing by class after class but they're all for Support or General Studies. I need to find a Hero class. A bit of panic starts to seep into my body as I consider the possibility that I might fail.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I unconsciously prepare myself for the next set of alarms but they never come. The anxiety in my chest quickly spreads, tightening my legs. The abruptness of it almost makes me stagger. Have I been searching so long that the teachers have already ejected the reporters? If so, then the students will be returning to class soon. It'll be impossible to search with anybody else around. I'll have failed the League. Just as my dread reaches its peak, I see a small sign beside a door that reads "H.D.". I throw open the door, taking a second to read the class number. Class 1-B.

The teacher's podium is easy to find, directly centered in front of multiple rows of desks. I start to carefully riffle through the various stacked documents. I see the applications of several students, a seating chart, and a few lessons plans. The one that catches my eye is a paper labelled "U.S.J. Use Schedule". The soonest organized time is in just a few days for class 1-A. Teachers present will include Thirteen, Eraserhead, and All Might.

This is perfect, even better than we could've hoped for. It's disconnected from the main building and large enough to host all of the villains that we've gathered. All of the possibilities flood my mind and distract me from the urgency of the moment. I'm only brought back to reality by a light chatter that is slowly growing louder and louder. My body tightens again as I realize that the students have already been released to class. I need to hurry. I pull out my phone and send my location to Kurogiri. That's the signal to warp me out of here. During the brief moment that the message is being sent, I take multiple photos of the sheet in an effort to get all the important information. A gate begins to form in front of me as the sounds grow closer and closer. I place the sheet carefully back into the pile before leaping through the gate.

I land on the hardwood floor, stumbling a little. Kurogiri immediately closes the gate behind me. I let out a deep sigh and my body instantly feels lighter, as if all my worries were condensed into that breath. "Where's Shigaraki?" I ask, breathlessly.

"He is already in his room," Kurogiri responds, motioning towards the stairs. "Did you find any useful information?". I open the photos in my phone and double check that the photos aren't blurry. Once I've confirmed their quality, I pass the phone to him. After only a few seconds of analyzing, Kurogiri's eyes open wide in astonishment.

"Midoriya, these are perfect!" he exclaims. "A proper location, times, staff present. You've done an excellent job.". He punctuates his statement by firmly gripping my shoulder.

"I'll present these to All for One. You can go back to your room and rest up. I think that you've done more than enough for today.".

I can only nod in appreciation before sluggishly walking up the stairs. The whole operation only took about an hour but I am absolutely beat. Still, Kurogiri's praise echoes through my mind, bringing a subconscious smile to my face. I make my way to my room and just as I gently close the door, a massive wave of fatigue heats me. My knees feel as if they will buckle under the weight of my my own body. As soon as I'm within arm's reach of my bed, I collapse on it. The soft, warm covers begin to lull me into sleep. I think that I've earned a nap after today, but I can almost hear a voice in my head ask me… Have I?

Despite Kurogiri's vocal compliments, I can't shake a feeling of defeat. I succeeded but only barely. And I nearly failed because I was frightened by my old friend, Bakugo. That's what is really sticking with me. I spent so long training and cultivating my new quirk. I had gained a level of confidence that was unprecedented for me. I was feeling like I could do anything, stand up to anything. Yet all it took for that to fall apart was a sharp look from someone that used to bully me a little. If a little recon mission like this is almost too much for me, what will happen in a real fight? Will I just fall apart? Is All for One and Kurogiri's faith in me misplaced? Is there really anything I can do?

These are the thoughts that I'm left with as I slowly drift to sleep.