Contemplation, Conversation and Contention

Friday morning, Charissa left behind a newspaper on the table for me to read. As I browsed the main section of the broadsheet, a very disheartening article brought my attention.

15-Year-Old Girl Found Dead Outside School

To summarize, the young woman was found by police lying in a prone position outside a Mandaluyong school at around 7:00 p.m. An empty bottle of pills and a suicide note was spotted beside her body.

According to her suicide note, the girl wrote that she was becoming increasingly frustrated over her poor grades and incessant abuse from her classmates. The young woman intended to leave her life behind in order to escape the pain and misery she endures on a daily basis.

"When will they ever end?" I thought to myself.

After some breakfast and private time inside the bathroom, I went to a nearby church to pray. Upon kneeling down the church pews, I started to cry, my hands clasped in prayer with a rosary on hand.

"Lord, why are they doing this?" I prayed and wept while looking at the image of Christ above. "This bullying stuff, it is getting out of hand. No one is safe anymore, men and women, boys and girls alike. You need to help me, Lord. Please help me."

I bowed my head down on the floor, tears still dripping down from my face. For the rest of the morning, I remained inside the church, crying as if mourning the loss of a loved one.

Making one last plea to God, I raised my head once more.

"Lord, you need to guide these children. They must stay away from all the negativity and pessimism that surrounds them. Help them, please? I'm begging you."

Later that afternoon, Michelle visited me inside my unit, during which I showed her the headline from the day's newspaper.

"I feel sad for the girl," Michelle horrifyingly reacted to the report. "The girl could've turned her life around with a little guidance from friends and family, but she grew tired of failing grades and the maltreatment she received from her classmates."

I posted my reaction to the news article on my blog, during which Michelle offered her insight on the matter. At night, Charissa joined me and Michelle for dinner, and she also gave her own opinion on this incident as well.

Within a few days, the article received close to 10,000 views and around a hundred comments from concerned students and parents alike. It was by far the best post ever written on the blog to date.

The following Tuesday, I paid a visit back to my old high school to retrieve my yearbook. There, a familiar face bumped into me.

It was Alyssa, my former grade school adviser and one of the school's senior teachers.

"How was it going, teacher Alyssa?" I greeted my one-time teacher with gusto.

"Well, Christine, it's the same old routine, teaching a new generation of students and giving them the right environment to thrive on," Alyssa responded. "I haven't changed one bit in nearly 20 years, although my serious side appears more often than my gentle side."

Teacher Alyssa and I headed inside the academic office and greeted some old faces, including our long-time principal. But then my conversation with my former teacher turned serious as we sat on a table.

"Ma'am, do you still notice some bullies running around the campus?" I asked Alyssa as the topic turned towards the subject of bullying.

"I still see some, but they were more disciplined than ever," Alyssa responded. "You see, ever since one of our pupils named Cynthia committed suicide due to bullying, the school management became very strict in admitting new students."

"They don't want to recognize students with prior records of malicious mischief, so the management evaluated each one's character to see if they are fit to come into our school," Alyssa explained further. "Still, there were some instances in which students misbehave for whatever reason. Then again, as I said, they appear more disciplined than ever."

I felt pleased that the school is now more stringent in accepting new students. But upon mentioning Friday's news of a bullying victim committing suicide, Alyssa suddenly wept.

"Christine, that news took me back to the day Cynthia killed herself," a tearful Alyssa looked back at the event. "I'll never forget what happened that day. The entire campus sat in stunned silence. Every student cried inconsolably. Even the entire faculty was terribly in tears as well."

"But the good thing is that we've moved on. Still, it's very disheartening to see such news pop out every now and then," I concluded.

Following my heart-to-heart talk with Alyssa, I returned home to some more bad news. Charissa had just turned on the television, and it flashed a report of another student committing suicide due to bullying.

"Mom, why are you watching this? It's so despicable and gory," I told Charissa while grabbing the remote control.

"Christine, don't you dare turn it off or change to another channel," Charissa demanded.

Having seen enough of the carnage, I promptly turned off the television, much to her dismay, She then charged at me and began to shout at my face.

"You better turn the TV back on or else," an angry Charissa chastised me.

"Don't you see, I've had enough of bad news," I screamed back.

"Turn the damn television or else," Charissa yelled anew.

"Sorry mom, I'm in no mood," I responded harshly.

"Damn it, Christine!!! What's your damn problem? Answer me," Charissa shouted back.

As I furiously turned my head away from Charissa, she promptly refused to serve dinner to me. Angered and defiant, I carried the remote, cried my way back to the bedroom and promptly locked myself.

Charissa tried knocking on the door to apologize, only to angrily demand for her to leave. For the rest of the night, I sobbed uncontrollably on the bed while Charissa reluctantly returned to her room.

What will the succeeding day bring? I don't know. So many uncertainties distorted my judgment.