CHAPTER 3: AGONY FROM A LONG TIME

Inside this small world of water filled with warmth and love, I can feel her hands slowly and gently touching me while giving this absolute security and happiness.

I can also feel the gentle heat of the morning sun as it passes thru her pores and gives me more energy. She whispers my name as she looked at me intently with eyes full of hope and a smile that looks like the universe to me.

I know she cannot see me, but I can. Because I looked thru her eyes, breathed thru her nose, feel everything thru her body and experience it all thru her.

Happiness, sadness, confusion and many other emotions are all felt by me as she did. She and I were one.

I moved my feet and she laughed. They all laughed. I can hear a gentle but manly voice come closer to me and calls my name.

I jerked my other foot in response and he started laughing again. Every time I moved, people become happy. And I am very happy as well. Their laughs, praises, touches and whispers, I can feel all of them. The very positive energy only excites me more.

Eager to see what is waiting for me. But what pleases me more is to hear two very familiar voices that keep on calling my name. Most of the time, their voices are full of warmth and kindness; But sometimes, it is not.

Time passed by and I can feel that the comfortable space where I live is getting smaller and harder for me to move. I need to get out soon. That's what my body is saying.

Together with my growth is the anticipation of the voices that had been calling me. The most familiar voice keeps calling me and I would always reach out to her in response but she seems to be sad. The usual gladness is nowhere to be felt.

There is an emptiness in her heart. There is sadness in her soul and tears in her eyes. Some distant unfamiliar voices had been speaking to her and I can feel her breathing getting more intense. her body becomes tense and the atmosphere is almost unbreathable.

She was holding me with both her hands. She was protecting me. Her eyes were full of anger and hatred. I reached my small arms to hold on to her and tell her that I am here and everything is gonna be alright. But I am powerless.

They are shouting. She is crying. He is mad. It's all different, the sound and the presence. I can see and hear the breaking of chairs and tables.

Plates shattered to pieces and scattered around. After a series of shouting that ended in a loud slapping sound; a long and dark silence followed. It was the coldest and darkest silence I have ever felt. I missed the sun. I just missed the sun so much

A sobbing voice came next. It was full of pain. A complex emotion of sadness, helplessness, agony, and regret. The sun is now completely gone.

A faint whisper of time has passed and I feel so dry. Her eyes are empty and lifeless. Her every step is the hardest she has ever taken in her whole life. It feels like I am walking in the dark while being numbed. The world has lost its color and I am alone.

The stars have lost its brightness, the trees looked pale, everyone becomes a nobody. I am alone.

The gravity has shifted behind me. An unfamiliar voice has been speaking to her a lot these days and she responded to every question almost no more. She just nodded her head.

A while later, a humming sound came. I immediately felt something is certainly wrong. She has gone numb and her eyes were empty staring at the ceiling.

There are traces of tears in her eyes and I jerked my feet to call her but she did not respond. She would sometimes blink slowly and her breathing is cold. It was as if I was never been there in the first place.

I felt an imminent danger looming closer to me. Weird sounds that I have never been heard before keep coming after another. And suddenly, a force started sucking me.

My small yet warm and comfortable world started to move and I am being dragged along with it. Something is pulling me out. But I am not yet ready.