Chapter 37 - The rattling of chains

"So what you're telling me is we're living in an RPG?" Zack cheered

"waell that's one why of puttin ih." Elizabeth hummed.

"Can we not talk about our lives like it's some video game?" I huffed.

But if I was being honest that was probably the best way to explain it. I just, what the Goddess said, what I did. I don't want to lose the value of ourselves, of our lives. It just felt wrong to me to treat this like a game.

"So what are the classes then?" Leo spoke up.

"Well, these aren't anything official. Just some classifications I've made myself through the years I've been doing this." Jack said.

"Years?" Isabella chimed in.

"WIll explain later," Zack added.

"Anywho, from what I can tell the blue Goddesses. Still not too thrilled about calling them that. But their children are based on things. I deemed her the arch type class."

"What does that even mean," Zack grumbled.

"Well notice how Stryder can summon, has physical enhancements, and everything is specific toward knight type attributes. I've also noticed this with every other blue. There's even one for jesters and rangers."

"Alright, then what about me. I had the red Goddess!" Zack chimed.

"That's the casting Goddess, my Goddess. Were all primarily focused on the magic arts"

"And me?" Leo asked.

Jack snickered.

"Your Goddess is the green one. The Goddess of the Animorph books."

Leo just growled in response.

I looked over to Isabella for a moment. I felt my heart race for a bit as I quickly looked away.

"That must mean Oy'm a piryte ahch type!" Elizabeth cheered.

I suddenly jumped hard as I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a very stern looking isabella.

"Mind if we have a chat?" She asked.

I quickly looked down and away from her.

"S-sure, what about?"

She pointed to the other side of the boat and walked over to it. I watched her as she walked. My legs felt like lead, and my heart felt like it was gonna pop out of my chest. She hated me, she had to. I bet she was gonna attack me, or go off on me. I deserved it anyway. I made her go through that. It was my fault. It's always my fault.

I hesitantly followed her lead. And as soon as I got close again she flicked my forehead with some super strength.

"Ahh!" I yelped as I stumbled back.

I reached up and rubbed my forehead, and she just sighed.

"Don't tell me I got beat b a wimp." She huffed.

I looked up at her for a moment and quickly looked back down to the deck of the ship.

"Aren't you supposed to be some kind of hero?"

I felt my heart sink as she asked that. I bit my lip and balled my fist.

"I'm sor-"

She snagged my shirt collar and forced me to look up into her red glaring red eyes.

"How can you call yourself a hero when you're looking down like that huh? Aren't superheroes supposed to smile against all the odds?"

"How can I smile after what I did to you!?" I yelled back. I reached up and grabbed her wrist. "How can I smile when all I do is hurt, people!? How am I supposed to keep going knowing every step I make is just a bigger mistake waiting to happen!?"

"Then you might as well quit being a hero then. Because someone as hopeless as you can't ever dream of accomplishing anything!"

I felt my grip on her arm lessen. Her words made my whole body feel drained.

"Then maybe I should.."

"I overheard what you told Elizabeth about your mom. Are you implying your mother's death was pointless?"

"No I-"

"Then how dare you give up on yourself? She died saving you right? Does her sacrifice mean so little to you that you'd lose all your resolve after one bump in the road?"

I looked away from her.

"Why are you doing this...I killed you. I made you suffer."

"And I got back up didn't I? We can't move forward if we keep looking back. Yes, you killed me, but I was asking for it. And I've learned a lot from it." She let me go and I stumbled back some.

There I go again, being helpless. I thought about Zack when we fought Jack. We almost lost because I didn't trust myself. And even now, how much have I really grown!? I took another step back and took a breath. I raised my fist and decked myself in my face! I felt the burning pain that slammed against my cheeks and stumbled some.

"What are you-"

"I'm sorry about that. I was being pathetic." I looked up at her and gave her a confident smile. "I won't let it happen again. Thanks for that."

Her eyes were wide for a moment, then she started busting out laughing.

"Bollocks you city folk are funny!" Isabella laughed. "I like this Stryder a lot better."

'She made that sacrifice didn't she?'

Zack's words rang in my ear yet again. I promised myself I wouldn't let her words become chains again. I needed to remember that.

"If you want, I can tell you somethings that helped me get the advantage on you."

She smiled and nodded.

"That would be grand."

…

"What's the big idea coming back so late with no contact huh!?" Lux roared into my ear as her headlock got even tighter.

I flailed and tapped out against her arm repeatedly while Zack just laughed at me.

"Ah, how I missed you, my love," Zack cheered.

But as soon as he let his presence be known, she let go of me and pounced on him!

"You're his best friend! Why the hell do you look spiffy and he has all battle damage!" Lux yelled as Zack squirmed.

"Amor my little daffodil, I didn't know you were into this stuff," Zack muttered and Lux immediately dropped him.

"Eww," lux squealed as she stepped away from him.

I cleared my throat and caught her attention. She turned around to look at me, and I felt the urge to look away. But as her eyes met mine, I stayed focused on hers.

"Lux I need to talk to you."

She looked surprised. She got her serious face on and searched my eyes.

"What's up?"

"I fought one of Leo's friends, and I was holding back.." I felt my heart begin to race as I spoke. I balled my fist more intensely and took a breath. "Because of that my-"

Crap! I almost forgot I can't tell her about my goddess! I needed to think fast...

"Another player threatened to kill you if he didn't try his hardest. So he ended up killing Leo's friend. But It's all cool because she had an extra life."

Zack chimed in and saved my life. That extra life bit may cause issues down the line but, better than anything I would've thought of.

"I just felt like you had the right to know is all. I'm sorry." I broke eye contact with her as I said that.

"Stryder.." She started to speak, and It felt like I could feel the disappointment in me in her voice. I closed my eyes, I could even feel my body begin to shake. I didn't want her to hate me again!

Then everything became calm. I felt her warm embrace around me. Calming the rapid fears of my mind.

"I can't imagine how hard that was for you. I'm sorry I wasn't there," she said with a weak voice.

She sounded like she was about to cry. I buried my face into her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Don't be sorry! I'm the one putting your life in danger!"

"Stryder I trust you, I know no matter what you'll come through for me. You always have. I'm sorry, as the older sister I should've been there for you." I couldn't speak, I just held her.

She trusted me still, even after hearing what I did. After hearing what the stakes were!

"Didn't she tell you before? Stop being so self-centered, we're all in this together. Powers or no powers, that's how family works." Zack hummed as he laid a hand on my shoulder.

Which only made me quiver some more. I felt vulnerable. Like a turtle without its shell. I was scared to move, I was scared to breath

"That's right, you don't have to carry this burden alone," Lux said.

"I wanted you to stay safe, away from all this stuff," I muttered as I slowly pulled away from her.

"Well too bad, what kind of annoying sister would I be if I stayed out of your personal biz." She said with a chuckle

I looked up at her and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, that's enough of me almost crying for one day. I'm gonna hit the showers." I said with a sniffle.

"You know, our boys got a date with some fine ladies tonight" Zack chimed as he moved an arm around Lux.

However, Lux just leaned down and flipped Zack over her shoulder! Then darted at me. I quickly ran and jumped over the couch. I sprung on my feet and leaped into the bathroom, locking the door.

"Stryder Abel Beowulf! You get out here right now! You met a girl and didn't tell me!" she yelled as she banged on the bathroom door.

"Oh, I can't hear you over the sound of the water sis!" I yelled as I quickly turned on the shower.

"You get out here right now mister and spill those beans!"Lux yelled, but I just started to sing over her.

"We are talking when you get out! Do you hear me!" she yelled.

But I just started to sing even louder.

Whenever I came out I heard the front door open, I heard her oohing and aahing to someone. I figured it was Jack. So I wrapped a towel around myself and walked out of the bathroom, I needed to get some fresh clothes.

I yawned as I came out, making my eyes shut for a moment.

"Hey lux, was that jack who came in?"I asked.

"Yeah, I'm here with friends!" Jack snickered.

"What?"

I opened my eyes and I went speechless. I blinked a few times in disbelief. But they were still there even after. There on my couch was Leo and his crew!

I quickly turned around and headed to the bathroom. But I slammed face-first into the door. I grabbed the handle and yanked at it.

"Hey! Hey! Let me in!" I yelled as I banged on the door.

"I'm sorry the person you are trying to reach doesn't care," Zack replied.

"Hey, this isn't a game! Open up!"

"Hey buddy, you remember that helmet incident? Yeah, Suffer for it." He snickered.

"So rude Stryder, ignoring your guest like this," Jack with a sour tone

"Crickey, Oy'm still enjoyin moy view though." I heard Elizabeth hum.

It's like I could feel her eyes on me...

"This isn't funny…" I muttered.

I dashed over to my clean basket and got some clothes, and my boxers. But I didn't want to lift it out the basket. I could still feel Elizabeth staring at me. I didn't want her to see my...

I sighed and just yanked it out and ran into Lux's room. I quickly shut and locked the door and took a breath. Which prompted them to laugh.

Women…

Zack and I promised to take the crew out to see the city tonight. I don't really have anything 'fancy to wear.' My nicest shirt was a plain white V-neck T-shirt Lux bought me a few years back, plus some nice black jeans. I put those on and walked out of the room. And I immediately heard giggling.

I looked up and I could see Lux with a photo album in her hand. While Elizabeth, Isabella, and Weislung sat around her with amused faces.

This can't be good.

"Lux...what are you doing?" I asked.

I looked over her shoulder and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. There in the photo album were pictures of me and Zack as kids!

"Lux why.."

"Because I love you, and these are the best photos ever!" She winked at me and I groaned.

Then Zack popped out of the bathroom right on time. With the same threads on from earlier. The only difference now was a brown fedora he had on his head.

"Zack, Oy deedn't knaow yah loiked t' be a praetty preencess!" Elizabeth giggled.

I looked over and saw the surprise shot of Zack from grade school. He just wanted to see what it felt like...

"You pinky swore!" Zack yelled.

"She swore a lot of things Zack," I sighed.

"I think it's time to go, don't you agree Stryder?" Zack said walking to the door.

"Absolutely," I added as I followed his lead.

"But we're at the best part," Isabella chuckled.

"Hows abeow' yah ooll have a boys noigh' out eh?" Elizabeth joked

"That's a great idea!" Lux chimed in.

"Oh, fun," Leo muttered.

I didn't even notice he was next to me.

"I guess," Jack said with a sigh.

"That's a horrible idea," Zack said flatly.

"I was actually really wanting to relax.." I sighed.