Chapter 1

My entire life, I was nothing but a shut-in. After dropping out of high school and being kicked out of my parents house, I was homeless. I made several attempts at getting a job, no matter how minor. I would always wonder, "Why am I here... Why do I have to suffer this, why am I being subjected to all of this?". Every time I thought that I would just get annoyed at how selfish that thought was.

I wanted to die. I knew that no one would care anyway... why live with no purpose. I was able to get a job at a convenience store, and eventually save up enough money to buy a firearm. I just wanted to get it over with. I knew that any gun would do, it's not like I'd ever be using it anymore than once.

Later that night I held the gun to my head. Although I didn't feel like I cared about living anymore, I found myself, staring blankly at the blackness of the sky. My hands were shaking, I started to imagine myself, dead on the ground, laying there with the same blank stare. I put the gun down and decided to fall asleep.

The next morning I woke up on the hard ground, somewhat mad at myself for not pulling the trigger. "I'm so f#@$ing useless". I pulled out the gun, staring at its black coating in the light of the sunrise.

Days passed, I still wasn't able to just pull the trigger. I was so frustrated that I couldn't do such a simple action. I kept it with me, hidden in my backpack underneath some junk.

Suddenly a strange man came charging at me with a knife in hand. Without thinking I scrambled to pull out the gun from my backpack. "Hurry up, hurry up" I thought. I finally pulled it out, ready to fire but then... I died.