Chapter 19. Too Stupid

He towered above Yuliah. Those blue eyes pierced her heart. A heart that beat frantically inside. When he kneeled, she feared he would hear it.

Yuliah watched him, studied her face, and she held her breath.

His mouth opened but closed, and his perfectly shaped brows creased together. The pupils of his eyes turned into a dot lost among the deep blue.

"I knew the North practiced strange customs, but I didn't expect them to be this ridiculous." Then lifted a hand to Yuliah's forehead but stopped. "Let's go… wife..." His finger poked right between Yuliah's brows and she tensed up. "We move during the day." His voice softened, but she could hear how annoyed he'd become. Without giving her another glance, he left.

That didn't turn out so bad. Yuliah exhaled softly. At least he didn't scream at her. That's something Liang would have done. Screamed, cussed, and whined like the petty man he was.

She hesitated but followed behind him and over to his horse. He shot her an annoyed look and pulled her up into the saddle. Off they headed down the dirt path.

Yuliah lost track of time during their awkward ride. Neither one spoke to the other. She sat hunched forward and tried not to lean back against him, but every time the horse galloped or trotted a little too hard, she'd found herself braced against his body.

This went on for several hours until the muscles in her back ached from the odd posture, but Yuliah's pride overpowered the pain, and she continued to sit hunched over.

"You must have strong back muscles to sit bent over for this long," he said.

His warm breath brushed lightly against her ear, then neck. Her body prickled, mixed with a fluttery sensation. She hated this uncomfortable feeling, and he seemed to cause it. Afraid that he'd call her bluff Yuliah straightened her posture. "Yes. I do. All those years of training," she answered loudly, but her muscles twitched and went into a spasm on the brink of collapse.

He scoffed, and an arm wrapped around her waist. Yuliah's entire body pulled backward until she rested against his chest. The relief His breath softly touched down on her neck again.

"Years of training, huh? What kind of training?" He questioned teasingly.

"Chores," she blurted out. Oh great. What a stupid response. Yuliah frowned. "Years of sewing... It's helped me turn these back muscles tough as rocks," she tried to make her lie more believable. The lengthy pause afterward confirmed her doubts he didn't believe what she said, and Yuliah's face warmed.

"You don't have to pretend to be so tough." and pulled Yuliah into his arms. "Lean on me. I've got you." he said in a low tone.

Blood rushed to her cheeks and face, that same uncomfortable feeling from before returned. "What are you trying to do? One moment you have nothing to say to me, and the next you want to help me." Yuliah's eyes moistened. His words were always harsh and cold. "If you don't want to help me anymore, I understand. We can go our separate ways once we get out of these mountains."

"I told your father I'd get you to the Southern Kingdom. I keep my word. Your decisions impede the ones I've made," his voice grew less gentle. "Do as I say, exactly when and how I say it. Then things between you and me will be fine."

Seriously? Offended Yuliah asked, "Are you saying I'm stupid and make poor decisions?"

"If you know that, then you should change it," he replied and said nothing else.

She couldn't believe he just said that. His words were not kind at all. They were daggers that stabbed into her ego, an ego he killed bit by bit, and he never denied hating her either. "I hope I'm not too stupid when I ask this, but where are we going?"

"No. That's smart of you. To Murai, that's our destination. I have people waiting for me there, and then we'll head south," he said.

Yuliah shook her head in disbelief. Angry, she looked to the road, and for the rest of the ride, refused to speak to him again. It wasn't until night when Yuliah's head bobbed back and forth, and her eyes grew heavy that he finally broke the silence between them.

"We'll rest here for the night."

She heard and then felt him gently nudged her side. Too tired to respond, Yuliah just nodded.

The treetops blocked any light that tried to make its way through the canopy. It left Yuliah blind in the dark, and she relied on him again to navigate them to where they would rest for the night. She held onto a tiny corner of his cloak. Still upset with him for implying she was stupid earlier.

He took them through the forest and into a small clearing. Yuliah was warm earlier, but when they got off the horse, suddenly the temperature changed. Every breath burned through her lungs.

She sat still like he instructed - tired and ready to tip over while he built a fire. When he finished, Yuliah could see that trees and shrubs surrounded them. From his pack, he pulled out a bedroll.

"This is it... We have to share it," and placed the bedroll onto the ground then waved her over.

Why did he call her over like a pet? "I can't," Yuliah said through her chattering teeth. To crawl into bed with a stranger even though his handsome face beckoned her. It's the most inappropriate thing to do for a noblewoman.

"We're flesh and bones and without warmth your body will die." He lifted his arms up. "This does not define you. If that's what you're worried about. Come here before you create more complications for me."

Besides the night Liang tried to force himself on her, she'd never shared a bed with a man. Looking at him curiously, Yuliah wondered what it would feel like. Her head tilted sideways at him. There's nothing wrong with this. She just needed to keep warm and no one will know. Yuliah convinced herself and slowly made her way over.

He slipped inside and lifted one flap of the bedroll for her. Still unsure, Yuliah looked around.

"There's no one here but you and I." He gave her that same look that made her feel like an idiot.

hesitated but eventually crawled inside. Oh, it's not too bad, and with enough room for both of them, but only if they stayed close. He tugged at her hair and pushed it to the side.

"It's in my face and smells."

"What?" Yuliah whipped around and gave him the dirtiest glare. "Do you hate me that much? You say the meanest things to me, when I'm already hurting inside. I want to smell good. Trust me, I do!" Her eyes bore into him. "I almost died at the hands of a terrible man who killed my adopted brother. A brother I loved so much.' she burst into tears. "He was the only one who cared about me and I can't even mourn for him because I'm responsible for his death. My entire body is in so much pain. My face, I don't even know what will happen to it. All the clothes I have left leave me practically naked. So I'm sorry if I smell. If I could, I would love a bath. To be nice and pretty before lying down next to you,' she shook as more tears made their way down her cheeks.

A hand gently closed around her clenched fists and Yuliah quickly entwined her fingers around his. She held to him and cried for Yujen and the pain that gripped to her heart she'd bottled up all these years.

"Do you feel better?" he asked her.

"No, and yes. I'm sure you stink yourself." She leaned into him and sniffed, but couldn't pick up any odor from him. Maybe she just needed to get closer. Yuliah scooted towards him and sniffed harder. The tip of her nose brushed up against the bone protruding in the center of his neck, and it stirred her senses. She quickly darted back, and her eyes met with his.

"Did you find it? What you were looking for." One end of his lips turned up.

Yuliah stopped. It's the first time she'd seen him smile, and the patter of her heart picked up again. His smile melted her anger and Yuliah sighed. Shaking her head. "Your something else aren't you?" Maybe it's a lack of sleep but she couldn't stay Yes, that must be it, and she laughed until those uncomfortable feelings returned.

Quickly, Yuliah turned around and broke into a smile. With her back to him, they spent all this time together, and she didn't know his name.

"I hope this isn't another stupid question, but what's your name?" Silence and the chirping of crickets in the forest, that's all Yuliah heard. "Fine. If you don't want to tell me. I don't care. I'll make up a name for you instead." Her eyes were heavy again. "Goodnight."

A pair of firm arms slid around her waist, and she moved closer towards him. "It's cold, stay close, and you can call me Ryas. We have to get up early tomorrow. Get some sleep, Yuliah," he murmured.

Did he know her name all this time? Yuliah wanted to ask him, but her eyes turned heavy then shut. His name, she liked the sound of it and said it out loud. "Ryas," before she drifted off to sleep.