25 - 29

< — Ducal couple — > (12)

TN: And we now have an update schedule! Kinda. Also my translations are being stolen…welp.

Jerome prepared a cup of afternoon tea as he did every day and went into the Duke's office.

To avoid disturbing his master who was currently engrossed in his work, Jerome tried to leave the tea and leave but the desk was covered in documents and the person supposed to be there could not be seen.

As this was more or less a regular thing these days, Jerome shifted his gaze in the direction he expected his master to go and as expected, the balcony window was slightly open.

He went closer to take a look and he could see the back of a tall man, leaning against the handrail.

These days the duke would start work in the afternoon and then lazy around; something he had never done before.

He would spend a long time standing there and looking down the balcony.

And below was the beautiful picture of her Grace who had recently taken to diligently growing colorful flowers in the garden.

Her Grace frequently went out to personally examine the flowers in the garden and his master would watch her.

Jerome had initially thought that his master's honeymoon phase would be briefly interesting but now he knew it wasn't.

If there was a case where the prodigal son marries and starts to change and become a reliable person, then that was practically his master.

This was why one had to live long in this world. Jerome wondered if his master knew that when he was with her, it was as though nothing else was visible, as his gaze was locked onto her.

Surprisingly, her Grace did not seem conscious of his master's intense and straight-forward gaze. It would seem that her Grace was unexpectedly insensitive.

There was something delicate between the two of them. Obviously, their relationship was good. Her Grace would give his master a pure smile, and his frigid master would warm up when her Grace was around.

Nonetheless, undeniably there was somewhat of an invisible thin wall between them. It was too ambiguous to criticize and he couldn't speak out hastily on something vague.

It was a new routine to put a brief report on what her Grace did or who she met on his master's desk so Jerome couldn't postpone his report anymore. Even more so because it was related to the health of her Grace.

Jerome hesitated a little then approached the balcony.

"Your Grace."

"Mmm."

"I have something to tell you about her Grace."

At those words, Hugo turned his head. He stared at Jerome then walked past him and went inside. But even after waiting a while, he didn't hear Jerome speaking. Hugo could tell that Jerome was being hesitant.

"What's so difficult? Talk."

"…Her Grace has never had her monthly guest." (1).

Lucia had a promise with Jerome that she would tell the Duke about her body condition together with Jerome.

But as time passed, Lucia was still the same, keeping her mouth shut. Jerome considered that she had forgotten so he reminded her but her Grace had only said that she understood and went back to being silent.

Jerome knew that interfering in this could be exceeding his authority but it was also the task of the steward to take care of his master's health.

Jerome worried several times if he should urge her Grace even if it was forcibly, to personally tell his master but eventually he decided to tell his master personally.

"Monthly guest?"

"The thing that women go through every month…"

"Ah. Continue."

Hugo was familiar with the common knowledge of women's physiological parts but the rest was sleeping at the bottom of his mind.

He had never been with a woman long enough for her to have her period. Moreover, he had never been worried about a woman getting pregnant so he really hadn't thought about it.

"At first, a maid was concerned as to whether or not her Grace was pregnant but then she was looked at by the family doctor who said that she wasn't pregnant. According to her Grace, she's never had a monthly guest and she also refused to be looked at by the doctor for treatment. She said it was something that your Grace already knew about so there was no need for it."

"She isn't pregnant so is it something serious if she isn't menstruating?"

"It is not normal, after all, it would be impossible for her Grace to get pregnant. Her Grace has to have a medical examination for us to know for sure."

"What does she mean that I already knew…"

[I cannot have a child.]

Hugo furrowed his brows.

"Ha."

He gave a forced laugh. She had definitely said that. Originally, it wasn't something one could easily say but she had simply said that she couldn't have a child as though it was trivial. She had also given a small laugh.

To her, her inability to be pregnant was not a big deal because she couldn't have a baby anyways. She had spoken like she was telling a big secret but he had simply thought it was interesting.

"Right. I knew about it."

His head ached like it had been hit with a blunt weapon. There was an uncomfortable twisting in his stomach and he felt an anger within him that he didn't know what for, couldn't explain it or even give a reason for it.

"What is the doctor doing?"

"It isn't an external disease so if her Grace doesn't speak about it, the doctor cannot diagnose it."

"Call her now."

"…Yes, your Grace."

Jerome could see that his master's mood had soured so he immediately went away without saying a word.

While standing still, Hugo suppressed his anger and clenched his fists tightly. He then tried to calmly think of where his displeasure was coming from.

She was very much the ideal wife he wanted. She controlled the servants moderately well and did not give him any issues. He had nothing to complain about nor was he uncomfortable.

Recently, she'd had a lot of requests but it was different from the bothersome requests he was expecting.

"Ha, dammit."

He gave a heavy sigh, cupped his head in his hands and sat on the sofa. This wasn't normal.

He realized he still had no idea about what she was thinking. All he knew about his wife was what was written in the few reports Fabian gave him.

Their relationship was good. As least he thought so. Their conversations were fun and in the bedroom, they were passionate. But they had never really talked.

Had she ever exposed herself to him? He seemed to have misunderstood that she'd exposed all of her heart to him since she smiled so purely.

Something suddenly came to mind so he called for Jerome and ordered him to bring the details of her spending.

Jerome soon returned with the documents.

"What of the doctor?"

"I sent someone to call her."

"I'll be coming along for the examination."

"Yes, your Grace."

As he flipped through the documents and checked the details, his eyes grew cold. Apart from the cost of decorating the garden and the cost of throwing a tea party a few times, there was no other history of personal use.

"Has she ever called for a tailor or a jeweler?"

"She hasn't."

"Even though she has thrown a few tea parties and gone outdoors several times?"

"There are dresses that were used by former Duchesses of the family and the ornaments that are passed down in the Taran family. The dresses were chosen, mended then worn while the ornaments were returned to the storage room after use."

He knit his brow tightly. It was a feeling he couldn't explain. He was angry but he couldn't explain exactly why he was angry.

'Wasn't this what you wanted?'

Those words echoed in his head.

It was.

He married what he had hoped for. A doll-like wife that would only keep her seat as the Duchess.

He needed a partner and for that he needed to marry but husbandly duties were troublesome so, he made a deal. It was a contract.

A contract beneficial to both of them. She had said from that start that what she needed was the title of the Duchess.

Of course, he had thought that she wanted the wealth and power that came with being a Duchess.

It was not very long since they had been married but he knew now. From the beginning, she was not interested in it.

So what exactly was making him so unhappy? Why should it matter if she didn't want power or wealth? There was nothing for him to lose.

Rather, he should have a toast to this overwhelmingly favorable contract. But he continued to agonize about it.

He wanted to know exactly why he was in such a foul mood. He was feeling as though the ground supporting his feet had collapsed. He felt desperate, he felt anxious. But he didn't know why he was desperate or anxious.

When he was about to descend into his thoughts again, he heard Jerome's voice.

"The doctor is waiting."

< — Ducal couple — > (12)

TN: Just trying out new formatting instead of writing "part". The new way looks cleaner imo.

The garden was full of floral scents. Lucia walked in the space in the garden then would stand still and close her eyes, the scent seemingly intoxicating.

These days, her biggest job was gardening but she did not personally do any labor. The gardener took care of everything.

Lucia simply made the choice on what flowers to plant, checked if they were doing well and wandered around.

However, even though they did all the work, people would flatter her. It was a bit funny at times.

Looking at the sky, the sun had already gone down and was making shadows. She turned her gaze towards his office.

'Ah…he isn't there.'

He was definitely standing there a while ago. His intense gaze on her neck was embarrassing but when it disappeared, she felt disappointed.

It was a complicated feeling.

He often took a break from work to rest in the balcony and Lucia often went into the garden because she wanted to see him.

Her 'examining the flowers' was a pretty good excuse. Majority of the time that she saw him was limited to the evenings. It was only around this time that she could see him for an extra moment.

Although they lived in the same place, he was usually far from her reach as he was really busy. Jerome had informed her that he was buried in a pile of paperwork.

He was very diligent lord that would hold a half-a-day meetings with his vassals every three to four days and did not forget to inspect his fief.

Count Matin only knew how to show his face at various parties in the capital and wasn't concerned about the situation of his fief. She had only found out later but Count Matin's fief was one of the worst.

Because of the excessive taxes, people would either escape or were caught while trying to escape and were killed. Perhaps the miserable ending of Count Matin was his karma.

Almost every night, Hugo and Lucia would have dinner together, talk, then Hugo would find her in the bedroom. She knew that she should not be greedy for more but she sometimes couldn't bear the loneliness.

Lucia sometimes felt like she was standing dangerously on the thin ice of a deep lake and would rather have the ice break so she could sink to the bottom.

"Your Grace, I've been asked to escort you inside."

"…By who?" The only person who could ask someone to bring her inside was her husband, the Taran Duke but she still asked the maid.

"His Grace asked me to escort you inside."

'Why at this time…?"

Lucia followed the maid inside with an uneasy heart. There wasn't only one person waiting for her in the receiving room on the second floor.

In addition to Jerome, there was the family doctor, Anna. The moment Lucia saw Anna, she had an inkling of what was happening.

Afterall, not too long ago, she'd been acting like she didn't know what Jerome was talking about. She knew that Jerome would one day tell Hugo. However, she didn't think that Hugo would go to the extent of summoning the doctor and coming along with her.

Although, truthfully, it would have been a bit disappointing if he hadn't shown any interest.

Looking at Lucia who stood at the door like an uninvited guest, Hugo's expression hardened and he took big strides, approaching her. As his tall and large frame suddenly appeared in front of her, Lucia was momentarily shocked.

"Why…" He started speaking with repressed expression but stopped and grabbed her hand. He dragged her to the sofa and then sat beside her.

Anna slightly turned her head to peek at the ducal couple. It was her first time seeing the couple together up close, side by side.

She had had her doubts about whether the rumoredly terrifying knight-born Duke and the quiet and fragile-natured Duchess would look good together but seeing them together this way did not paint an awkward picture.

'To be attacked by someone that big, her Grace must have it hard.'

From Anna's perspective as Lucia's doctor, she inwardly criticized the Duke that was ignorant of his own strength.

"Your Grace, I heard you have not had your monthly guest the entire time you've been here."

"…That's correct."

Lucia was uncomfortable with this situation. She had personally made the choice to be infertile and had never bothered to look for treatment as she knew she could treat it by herself at any time but this situation made it seem like she was a patient with a deadly disease.

"You never had your first menstruation?"

"…I had my first menstruation."

"Then when did you stop menstruating? Were you hurt or ill before it stopped? Does anything feel wrong inside?"

"…"

"Wife, explain it properly to the doctor."

Lucia was surprised at his voice which sounded firmer than usual. Turning her head to look at him, she saw his cold red eyes, watching her. For some reason, he didn't give off a good feeling.

"…I took the wrong medication when I had my first period."

"What medicine did you take? Did you feel poisoned?"

"I don't really know what medicine I took and I don't know about being poisoned. It didn't hurt and till now, I haven't been able to see anything strange with my body."

Even when Lucia was looking for doctors in her dreams, those doctors could not properly figure out her symptoms. Even if she explained everything to Anna, it didn't seem like Anna would figure it out but Lucia still hid her symptoms as much as possible.

This female disease was a delicate one. If the patient did not explain it properly, the doctor could not find an answer. Even more so if it was a disease the doctor had never heard about before.

No matter how many times Anna dug through her memories, she had never heard of symptoms where someone's menstruation stopped after they took medicine.

"Your Grace, can you retrace your memories a bit more? What did the medicine taste like? For what reason did you take it? How much of it did you take? And what was the color and shape of this medicine?"

"…I don't know. It happened when I was young and had no knowledge of medicine so I don't remember anything."

Hugo who had been sitting still, listening to the conversation, suddenly turned his body and stared at Lucia.

"Talk with me for a bit."

He then made a gesture to the people standing around.

"Everyone get out."

Translator's Corner:

*Cuteness overdose in this first half. SOS.

*Second half, I was overcome with awkwardness. I know this is set in like the feudal times and what not but I would be AWKWARD AF if I had to talk about my period with people around. *shivers*

< — Ducal couple — > (12)

TN: I love love love this chapter. Going back to old formatting just cuz.

As the words left the Duke's mouth and he looked at them, the people around quickly flooded out of the receiving room, leaving Hugo and Lucia alone.

There was a brief silence between them as they sat side by side on the sofa. He suddenly realized that this was the first time they had ever been together at this time and in this way.

"Why did you lie?"

"…I did not lie."

"You are hiding the truth from the doctor, aren't you? Not saying it is the same thing as lying. Why are you trying so hard to lie when you can't lie properly?"

'How did he know?' It was as though he was reading her mind when he looked at her.

He wrapped one arm around Lucia's waist and pulled her into his arms then spoke like he could see inside of her.

"Your expression says 'how did he know?'. You can't lie, it's too obvious."

Lucia simply wanted to escape from this situation. She twisted her body as she pushed away from him and stood up from the sofa.

"…It's a busy time for you at work yet you were interrupted. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

He watched the standing Lucia silently for a moment as he remained on the sofa then spoke fiercely.

"Do you blame me for being here?"

"You don't need to be worried."

"What?"

"I won't get better anyways."

He caught her wrist, pulling strongly and Lucia couldn't help but fall into his arms.

She tried to struggle and get up but one of his hands held her arm in one place while the other hand held her chin, forcing their eyes to meet.

"What do you mean by that? Why should I be relieved if you won't get better?"

"Didn't I tell you from the start? That I cannot have children."

Watching her wavering amber eyes, his red eyes also wavered.

Lucia twisted her chin and shook off his hand. His hand which awkwardly hung in the air for a bit, fell down.

She also moved and pulled out her arm which was held in his. Hugo felt bewildered in the face of her rejecting reactions.

"You weren't interested nor did you ask why." (Lucia)

"…"

"Why are you suddenly curious?"

He had only asked if she could prove it.

After that, he never asked if she truly could not have a child or if somewhere in her body was ill. Lucia thought that he had completely forgotten about it.

That his interest in her was only to that extent.

Therefore, it was pitiful that as the days went on, she could only continue to hope that her heart that was running to him would harden.

"Suddenly, huh. Is it bad for me to be curious?" (Hugo)

"Then I'm grateful."

"…Don't say it like that."

"I apologize."

Looking at her appearance as she gave short and icy answers then shut her mouth like she wouldn't say anymore, his red eyes enlarged and flared up.

She was doing things she'd never done before and it was poking his nerves. He did not want to raise his voice as it was not a big deal anyways so he spoke in an even calmer voice.

"Vivian, do you want to quibble over something of the past?"

Lucia's chest sank in disappointment.

'If you call it something of the past then I can't say anything.'

For him, it was just something of the past. Lucia just quietly shook her head.

"Right now, I am concerned about your body so, explain the exact symptoms to the doctor and get treated."

His tone was even more affectionate than usual.

Even though she knew that he didn't really have things like kindness or tender affection, every time she heard his affectionate voice, she would be entranced as though she had heard a love song then would wake up like she had been doused with cold water.

"I don't want to do that."

"Why?"

"If I do that, you would be troubled."

"Why would I be troubled?"

"Because you don't want me to have children!"

Her voice suddenly grew loud.

"…"

For a moment, Hugo could not say anything. It was not that he didn't want her to have a child but that he did not want to continue his bloodline itself.

And as to whether she could have a child or not, pregnancy was impossible.

But to make her understand that, he would have to tell her about many things that were hidden.

However, he did not want to dig into his memory and talk about those things again. To him, those things weren't just past events but a chilling nightmare.

Staring at Hugo who went silent, Lucia took his silence as confirmation and tried not to let her emotions get out of control.

"I misspoke. Accurately speaking, you've never had any interest."

It was her intuition as a woman. He never wanted a child from her.

Despite that, his actions were contradictory as he never used any contraception. Lucia was rather bitter in that regard.

He wasn't even that concerned about it.

She wondered what kind of attitude he would have if she had gotten pregnant by chance.

Whether he would take the child away, have no interest in the child or perhaps turn around and never look for her again.

Whatever choice it was, they were all terrible.

"About having no interest…" (Hugo)

'Isn't that you?' Hugo mumbled inwardly. She had not even once, asked him about Damian. But, no matter how brazen he was, he knew he did not have the right to question her about that. He was married to her because he needed a mate not to take care of his son, they didn't have a contract for that.

"I didn't know you hoped for me to be interested."

Lucia's heart sank down heavily in her chest. Somehow, looking at him, he seemed tired.

'No!'

Already, from the moment he said that he could see through her lies, she had been full of anxiety.

Her nerves were on edge, thinking that her heart could also be read.

If he were to have an inkling of it and say something cruel like what he had said to Sofia Lawrence at the victory party that day…

'My heart will burst. It would hurt so much that I'd rather die.'

He was a man that was tender to a woman as long as she kept a reasonable distance.

Just like he'd done for her, how many lovers in the past had he smiled with and given presents to?

It was because of this tenderness that those women, when they were notified of their break up, could not throw away their lingering attachment and clung to him.

'I don't want to become one of his past women.'

It would be good to live like this forever. Just like this. A fully materialistic life. A husband that gave her tender smiles and held her passionately every night.

She would not be greedy for more. Her sweaty fists were clenched tightly.

"I…don't hope for anything. I have not forgotten my contract with you."

< — Ducal couple — > (12)

TN: Last one for the week. This one is finished anyways so here you go~

Lucia hoped to look natural as she avoided his gaze and drew back a little from his arms but he was watching her sharply.

"Ha. Right. The contract."

He gave a fake laugh and frustratedly swept through his hair.

It seemed to be only him that thought of forgetting about the contract and pushing it to a corner. She was obviously still strongly bound to its tenacious ropes.

"I can enjoy freedom in my private life and you would keep the door to your heart locked. That was our contract, right?"

He once again narrowed the distance that she tried to make as he grabbed her waist and pulled her in.

In this way, Lucia's efforts were very easily undone. She was once again positioned in his embrace.

"But did you know? We didn't decide on what would happen when someone does not keep to the contract."

"Are you worried that I won't keep to the contract?"

"Really, why are you like this? Why do you exaggerate my words like that?"

"…I'm sorry. I guess I twisted it a little."

For a while, Hugo looked at his wife who seemed unfamiliar. It was not his usual wife that listened obediently.

Moreover, she kept avoiding his eyes showing rejection and separation.

'The first time I met her…I didn't say any word of support but she just went ahead and spoke.'

Perhaps, this was also her.

There was no way he could have seen sides of her that she never showed to him.

He originally didn't like the fact that their conversation was being prolonged but he was rather pleased to see a new side of her.

It felt like he could see the real her for a moment other than the sight of her gently smiling and laughing.

"If I…give up on my freedom in my private life… will you also release the lock on your door?"

"…Huh?"

Lucia's eyes grew round as she looked at him.

She couldn't understand what he intended to do by saying that. Was this a trick of a playboy? He—

"I mean…"

He had an awkward expression as the slurred the ends of his words.

"Get treated."

Lucia was disappointed at the change of topic.

"I don't want to."

"Vivian!"

"I cannot have a child so it's okay for me to be unable to get one. But if I get treated, is it okay for me to have a child? Will you allow it?"

"…"

He sighed and massaged his temples with his fingers.

Even if her body got better, she couldn't get pregnant. His Taran bloodline made it impossible for him to get just any woman pregnant.

Without fulfilling the conditions, the bloodline of Taran would not grow in any woman.

That was why he enjoyed himself with several women and never worried about the dangers of impregnating them.

Only a normal woman, one that did not possess the blood of Taran, could meet the conditions to conceive the blood of Taran but as to what those conditions were, only the old man knew.

He drove the old man to live outside the castle walls and looked through the documents he had but there was nothing related to that.

Maybe it was just in the old man's memories or maybe there was another document about it, hidden somewhere nobody knew about. And so, to find out, he had simply and easily caught the old man and beat him up.

The old geezer that had claimed he wouldn't divulge the secrets of his family and held on without speaking, opened his mouth once he was imprisoned and realized that he would never see the sun again.

[The male of the Taran bloodline who will become the father of the child has to administer his blood for over a year to the woman and then deflower her.]*

It really was a sickening condition. That condition also had to be completed before the woman was deflowered.

His wife was already on the wrong path. Even if it was possible to get pregnant regardless of such conditions, he never intended to leave a successor behind.

Just imagining an existence left in the world with his blood made him feel like he had steeped in shit.

Even though he was not at risk of impregnating anyone, it was his habit to ejaculate outside as he hated the idea of descendants that resembled himself.

But he unexpectedly met her. She was different from the start. Why was she an exception?

She was the first to make him hug, release into her and enjoy the after play. He had felt the satisfaction at planting his seeds inside of her.

He acknowledged that his indifference had hurt her. Under normal circumstances, she was very likely to be pregnant.

He had forgotten that she couldn't have a child and did not show any concern as to whether or not she was pregnant.

Her words asking why he was suddenly curious was full of resentment and bitterness.

It was fragmented information but being able to see her wounds sent a tingling sensation around his heart.

"If I get treated, I want to have a child. Even so, is it okay?"

She cannot get pregnant anyways. He could tell her that she was allowed to have any amount of kids she wanted.

That any amount she wanted was good. If he said that then she couldn't blame him afterwards if they didn't have any children.

However, he didn't want to deceive her that way. Even if he couldn't say the truth, he didn't want to lie to her.

"…I don't need a child."

"If it is because of the succession issue, then I can write a memorandum. I don't care if I have to sign a contract that excludes my rights to succession."

"It is not because of that. I…I don't want to leave my mark."

"You already have a son."

"That one—!"

There was too much to explain for that. The only one left who knew that he wasn't Damian's biological father was the old man.

There was no end to it once the dam was opened. He did not want to share the secrets of Taran with anyone.

He was not going to tell Damian either. He would embrace that knowledge alone and bury it with himself.

"He is…He's a little different. You…I didn't know you wanted a child that much."

He realized that he really had only been looking at her exterior. He didn't know what was inside her heart at all.

"I'm sorry. I know the wife you want should not be such a woman."

"Vivian."

He sighed heavily.

"I don't mean to criticize you. I just didn't know so I am surprised."

"When we first talked about marriage, you said you don't care if I bear a child."

"That's…"

It wasn't that he didn't care but he knew that she couldn't get pregnant anyways and he didn't feel like explaining it, after all at the time, he only needed a mate. A wife was just a freebie.

"You said you wouldn't divorce me."

Instantly, he became alert, his eyes flared and he snarled.

"Divorce? That's impossible."

Hearing the word 'divorce' come out of her mouth, his insides gradually began to boil.

"I told you from the start. No divorce. I definitely said that even if I die, you won't be able to escape."

"I know. The tradition of the Taran family. Of course I remember. But there is no tradition of not having children."

"A child or a divorce. As you asking me to make a choice?"

Her amber eyes trembled intensely.

Lucia turned her head away from him as her eyes stung as if tears would fall. To her, his words seemed to be asking her instead to choose one of the two.

"I…didn't mean it like that."

"Vivian, why can't we keep being like this?"

"It is just my greed. I wish to have someone with me when I am alone."

"Why would you be alone?"

"Surely, you aren't saying that you will be with me forever?"

"…What?"

Looking at his expression akin to someone hearing a foreign language, something lit up from deep within Lucia's heart.

His manner of speaking too, as if to pacify her, was irritating.

'Even though he had no interest in what I think! Even though all he wants is an adequate and comfortable wife to push to the side!'

She wanted to see him wounded and hurting.

Even if she couldn't make him hurt no matter what she did, then at the very least she wanted to make it awkward and difficult for him.

Such wicked thoughts uncontrollably rose in her heart.

"You don't love me and I will never love you. So, what is there between us? How long do you think this type of relationship will last?"

< — Ducal couple — > (15)

'So what?'

Lucia expected him to answer that way.

Or say 'What do you want me to do?', 'Wasn't that the case from the beginning?'

She expected him to have a cold expression as he answered in an unfeeling manner. She worried frantically if she could return an answer even colder than what his reply would be.

Truthfully, she did not want to hurt him. She initially thought that was really how she felt but she realized that she truly did not want him to be in pain.

Lucia's heart sank as she watched as a moment of inexplicable despair appeared on his face. She watched as the steel-like man expressed his pain in such a way.

He struggled to breath like a fatally wounded animal then he slowly closed his eyes and opened them.

Her heart desired to reach out to him and comfort him but her body was frozen at the sight of him.

She couldn't wrap her mind around it as the hands holding her tightly trembled.

She couldn't make herself move or say anything and it stayed like this for a short while.

He laughed bitterly then stopped and in that moment, it all disappeared like a mirage and his expression returned to its usual somewhat deadpan state.

The momentary glimpse of his emotional state before it disappeared like an illusion made her feel both confused and frustrated.

It made her feel as though she was trampling a soft cake.

"…Right. You already see the end."

His voice was much calmer than it was cold.

'He…'

Lucia felt like she had truly seen him for a short moment.

His always cold expression and tone was his armor. His coldness was not because he didn't feel anything but to hide himself so he wasn't exposed.

"Just now…" "What?" She wondered if she could have possibly dreamt for a while.

Even though she saw it, she couldn't believe it. Looking at his current expression, it made it seem like she was truly mistaken.

As she continued to silently stare at him, he opened his mouth and spoke.

"I see. It was finished from the start. This is what you meant when you asked me to send you a rose flower, right?"

When he mentioned rose flowers, Lucia's blood ran cold and she returned to reality, taking a moment to scold herself.

She was currently at a significant crossroad with him. What had started as her grumbling had at some point become something that was too late to turn back from.

"Yes… you're right."

She didn't want to cling to an invisible ending so she asked him to wake her up with a rose flower.

She felt that if he announced their end by sending a rose flower, even if her senses had flown away for a bit, the shock would get her back to her senses.

"If you receive a rose flower from me, what were you planning on doing?"

Thinking that he was perhaps sounding out her feelings, her heart cooled down. She quickly took control of her slightly indecisive heart.

"That… I haven't planned on doing anything. As you said, that would be the end. There is nothing after the end."

"There…is nothing."

He quietly repeated her words then spoke up.

"Is your condition unbreakable?"

"…Yes. I already promised you that I would not break it."

Her love was a love where it didn't matter to her if it got returned or rewarded.

Lucia never wished for that. Even in an estranged parent-child relationship, one sided love existed.

It was an impossible love between both of them.

Even if one initially starts out with self-satisfaction, someday, one start to wish for the other to answer, and the feelings for the one that does not answer slowly begins to turn to hate.

In this way, Lucia gradually hated him but she did not want to be eaten up by that hatred.

"…"

Hugo knew he was being excessively greedy. Her words were correct. He knew he couldn't return her feelings but he was shamelessly greedy for her heart.

He found out more about her in this brief conversation than he found out in the few months that they had been married. He had been indifferent.

She did not show it but he had no right to be angry.

There was nothing about her physical condition in the report that Fabian, his very capable investigator, sent after researching for about a month or so.

The fact that she could not have a child was a secret that no one else knew but she had confessed it to him.

She already revealed a part of her heart to him a long time ago, but he threw it away. He brushed aside the hand that she had cautiously held out to him a long time ago.

"There will be no divorce."

"…Okay."

"You are my wife."

"…Okay."

"No matter how it ends, you cannot change our relationship."

"Okay."

Her short and submissive answers were irritating his feelings. He grabbed her shoulders and knocked her down. Her body lay on the sofa displaying no resistance as he towered above her.

"Do you know what your answers mean?"

His hand grabbed her chin and his fingers slowly caressed her soft lips.At his mellow touch that held sexual desire, her eyelashes shook.

He was saying that regardless of her feelings, if he wanted, she had to open her body to him. Lucia avoided his gaze and replied while staring at the air.

"Yes."

Hugo stared at her with his deep red eyes as his heart softly sank.

'Excellent! You got yourself a perfect wife.'

He ridiculed himself. Just as he had hoped, he got a wife that was just like a doll. She was his. She was his wife.

But what he really had was her shell. And from now on, he had to continue living with and embracing this doll-like wife.

She kept a shell of herself here and hid her true self somewhere he couldn't reach. But what was the problem? That what he had in his arms and what he could see was simply just a shell?

But it wasn't about her heart. Even if he had her heart, what could he do with it?

He could hold onto her and keep her by his side for as long as he wanted without it. Just because he didn't have her heart didn't mean she was going anywhere.

Suddenly, Hugo realized something he couldn't see before. He realized the reason for the anxiety and despair that had overcome him before.

Anxiety because she wasn't greedy for anything he had and left no traces therefore she could leave without any hesitation. Despair because he couldn't open her heart which had been shut tightly.

No, the real anxiety and despair that he felt were not from these things. It was anxiety and despair about his wavering self.

Before he even realized it, his heart was in her hands. The worst outcome he never wanted had crept up on him.

After he became the Duke, he had thoroughly followed one principle. Only give back as much as you receive.

That was why he rejected the love that women gave to him; he could not return it.

Love and Hatred.

He had gone through all the extreme emotions a human being could possess, that was how he learned how to damage other people.

Hatred towards the dead duke and love for his blood brother. Love and hatred seemingly have no relation but they crashed onto him as though they were one.

He barely had any will then and despaired at his powerlessness. He was just a wild beast that lived as Hugh, not knowing anything.

His only worry then was how to kill his enemies and survive. From when he woke up in the morning till when he slept in the evening, it was only about his survival.

He met in brother and in the process became a human but he had to pay the price of learning emotions.

He loved his brother but because of that, he let his brother's life be controlled by the former duke.

His hatred for the dead duke soon became hatred for the Taran blood flowing within him once he learnt of its secrets after the Duke died.

No entity should be able to sway him.

The feeling of not being able to do things of his own will was sickening. It was already enough for him to experience the breathlessness and fear of losing his brother.

His heart had to be unshakeable and his mind, firm. He must not make anyone a special existence therefore her heart was not the problem.

The problem was his heart.

He had considered it simple curiosity and desire but his heart mocked him.

[You've fallen in love.]

'No. That isn't possible.'

He was swayed by her. He was starting to become afraid of losing her. He had reached such a pathetic state because of one woman.

He couldn't understand it. He couldn't accept such a conclusion. He rose from the sofa with huge motions and began to walk back and forth.

Translator's Corner:

For those that donated, you should already be refunded. Thank you so much!

< — Ducal couple — > (15)

TN: Here you go… the angst oml. And a BIG shout-out to my first ever patron, Paula!

Lucia looked at the somewhat restless man and slowly lifted her body, sitting up. It would seem that today she got to see sides of him she had never seen before.

His restlessness did not last long. He quickly stopped, looked at her and spoke.

"Get treated."

And they were back to where they started. Lucia heaved a long sigh.

"Tell the doctor exactly what your symptoms are and receive a prescription. You have to know what the symptoms are and why you are this way, don't you?"

"I could be pregnant. Is your decision that you don't need a child changing?"

When he went silent, Lucia felt like screaming. 'Just leave me alone! I would rather you were just interested in my body like you have been!'

"…there is no way a child will happen."

"What you mean is… we will sleep separately?"

Lucia defiantly stared straight ahead, locking her eyes with his. He opened his mouth as though she had said something useless.

"Why do you think that's only for making a child? You enjoy it too."

"Don't change the point. If I get treated and you keep coming into my bedroom, what would you do if I get pregnant? That's what I want to know."

"If so, it wouldn't be my child."

He spat out those words without hesitation and realized his mistake after the fact.

He said that because he already knew that pregnancy was impossible but as long as he concealed the truth, no matter who heard his words, they would seriously misunderstand it.

He regretted his words as her expression was already going terribly pale.

"Do you mean… you won't admit that it is your child? Or… you will conclude that I was unfaithful?"

It was cruel. He ripped her heart to shred with his words.

Lucia once again recalled when she had overheard him and Sofia Lawrence's conversation at the victory party.

At that time, his words were like a merciless blade as they cut into Sofia Lawrence.

Hugo knew that his words had hurt her a lot. That he had to apologize and comfort her.

However unlike his seemingly casual outward appearance, his inner self ran amok with confusion and anxiousness.

He couldn't even understand his own feelings. He had gotten sick and tired of the situation itself.

Of her stubbornly persisting self and of himself that couldn't tell the truth.

For the Hugo who disliked the complex situations and handled everything easily, this tangled situation and his feelings was overwhelmingly tiring.

"What I mean is…"

He began, stopped for a moment then continued, mumbling stiffly.

"For treatment…do as you please."

He turned around and left the receiving room. In no time, Lucia was left alone in the quiet receiving room, collapsing into the sofa.

Silent tears began to stream down her face. That night, he did not come to her bedroom.

***

The meal was prepared for only one person. Seeing this sight, Lucia felt disheartened but she sat down without saying anything.

But still, the spacious dining room seemed even more spacious.

"My master recently has a lot of official business to attend to."

Jerome, as though giving an excuse, explained why the Duke had again not accompanied her for dinner.

"I see. I am worried he will harm his health so I hope you will look over him even more."

"Yes, your Grace."

Lucia had been eating dinner alone for a week now and he did not visit her bedroom at all.

She had also not been able to see his face for a few days.

He told her he was very busy. That he would be working all day in his office and would just have his meals there.

But Lucia's senses told her that he was avoiding her.

He had once been busy and stayed in the office till Lucia fell asleep but at that time, he came in at dawn, grabbed her and slept.

Now, a week had passed. When she looked back at it, it was only a week but if felt like ages.

He was busy with work and had no time to think about a woman. Nothing seemed to be wrong but this week could become a month and then a year.

'My head hurts…'

She habitually chewed her food but she did not know how it tasted. After she finished eating, she visited to Anna for headache medicine and went into her bedroom.

When she opened her eyes in the morning, she felt a little better but when night came and she lay in bed, it was the beginning of torture as she could not sleep with all kinds of thoughts going through her head.

'Why did you do that? You ruined it.'

She blamed herself. 'Why did you cause so much trouble?'

The reason she married him was for a peaceful and comfortable life. It was not for his affection.

From the start, she made a contract with him. She never had the shrewd thought of making the contract and denying it later.

'He's the bad one. It would have been better if we just remained a formal couple.'

She held some resentment towards him.

If he did not treat her so affectionately, her determination to live the rest of her life this way would never have been broken.

Now, his attitude cut into her like a knife and plunged her heart into hell.

'You chose this. You promised to never regret this.'

She once again reproached herself. Why was she suddenly greedy when she gave up on having a child from the beginning?

She didn't know the value of what she had and became greedy, losing it in the process.

Until recently everything was perfect. She ruined it.

No matter how much Lucia turned, she couldn't sleep.

She sat up and curled her body into a ball, wrapping her arms around her knees. She couldn't make her gaze fall on the bedroom door that never opened.

As time went on, her heart fell apart even more.

Translator's Corner:

This one makes me sad. Some part of me is starting to wish she never fell for him in the first place but… gah! so conflicted. I love Hugo toooooooo. Such a misunderstood cutie pie.

Ok, I'm done.

< — Ducal couple — > (16)

TN: So flat translation for this name is Ashin. I am considering changing it to Ashen for more 'english' vibes but what do you guys think? And a HUGE shoutout to my second ever patron Tofu!

He quickly read through documents and signed below them. For things that needed to be looked over separately, they were marked and placed to the side.

On the left were things that he had to process and ones the right were also things he had to process, piled up together.

No matter how much his eyes felt like falling off and he massaged his aching head, going through the papers, he couldn't see the bottom of the pile of documents to his left.

At one point, he flung the pen away and leaned backwards to rest. Even though he closed his eyes, his head was full of things he needed to do.

He was fed up with it. He wondered how much more of this he would have to do.

'Maybe 10 more years? Come to think of it, how old will that boy be in 10 years?'

He would be 18. At that age, he would just be graduating from the Academy. If so, it won't be in 10 years. Maybe in about 15 years?

That boy wasn't a dim-witted child so if he was taught for about 4-5 years, he would become useful.

'15 years, huh…'

Even the minimum amount was way too far.

'I have to do this crap for 15 more years…'

As it was raining, he looked outside the window, staring at the dim sky. It had been raining since morning.

At first, he never looked outside the window but eventually, three days ago, he stole a glimpse of Lucia walking through the garden without going to the balcony.

He didn't realize how unbecoming his behavior was and only grumbled about not seeing her because of the rain.

'If I don't see her now, I don't get to see her at all.'

He mumbled irritatedly then stopped himself with a chuckle.

'You are so pathetic. Why don't you just go and take a look?'

It was not far, he just had to go down the stairs and walk for a bit. At this time of the day, she was usually in the receiving room on the first floor.

The way she lived was monotonous and simple but it was regulated as she had things scheduled to do at almost every hour.

She didn't seem to want to go out these days so he knew her schedule more than he knew his own schedule.

'I am doing the stupidest things.'

He was now avoiding his wife. To be more precise, he was running away from his own heart.

'Love? How absurd.'

He continuously denied it. His heart should only belong to himself. He would never waver because of someone else.

Even with such confidence in himself, he didn't have the courage to meet her. He felt like if he met her, everything would crumble down in a moment.

With the excuse that there was a lot of work, he stayed late at night in his office, dealing with documents.

After which he left the office and slept in his own bedroom that he had not used in the last few months.

'I can do well without her.'

That was his excuse to keep going. His rationality called him a loser and a coward but he ignored it.

The first one or two days were fine.

'Right. There is no way I am being swayed by a woman.'

He had felt elated like an immature child. But it didn't take long for such confidence to disappear.

As time went by, his mood gradually declined and the contents of the documents failed to enter his head making his work speed drop.

Even though he spent the same amount of time on them, because the efficiency was lower, his working time grew longer.

He was uncomfortable with his current state that was very different from what he was used to and the work in his hands entered this vicious cycle.

But he still didn't want to admit it. He was denying his withdrawal from her, and persisted in his stubbornness.

Unfortunately, there was no one around him to pull his ears and scream out the facts to him.

"Your Grace."

The moment he heard that familiar voice from outside, annoyance swiftly swelled within him. The owner of that voice always brought a lot of work for him.

And as expected, once the owner of the voice entered, it was not a baseless notion.

Ashin, one of the Duke's secretaries, the administrative officer, entered found Hugo fiercely looking at him, making his hairs stand on end but he stayed firm and placed a pile of documents on the left side of Hugo's desk.

Spitefully looking at the sight of Ashin furtively going away, Hugo spoke curtly.

"When is that boy's vacation?"

Ashin was confident of being able to answer whatever question thrown at him, anytime, anywhere but he started sweating at the Duke's unexpected question.

Fortunately for him, his mind was clear so he found the answer without pause.

"…I do know he doesn't have any vacations."

There was only one person that would make the Duke talk about vacations. The one who was appointed as successor and the only son of the Duke, Damian Taran.

Accurately speaking, he was the illegitimate child of the Duke but unless one wanted to die, they wouldn't say such words in front of the Duke.

No one amongst the Duke's vassals mentioned Damian in the presence of the Duke.

'They were still the same, doubting the possibility…'

They all thought that it could change and hoped for that change, after all the Duke was still very young and had just gotten married.

There were many that did not understand the illegitimate child becoming the Duke's legitimate heir.

However, Ashin was convinced that as long as there was no unexpected event, the successor of the Duke's name would be the illegitimate young lord.

This was something the Duke had gathered his vassals together and announced and the Duke had never once gone back on something that he had said.

The event of succession to the Duke send a huge ripple through the entire region. The fact that such a huge scandal was not even more widely spread was because the Duke's vassals had watched their mouths.

They were uncomfortable with the fact that an illegitimate child could perhaps become their master in the future and did not want to publicize it.

'Although he made such a loud entrance into society, the relationship of this father and son is completely…'

As soon as his son was six years old, the Duke threw him into a boarding school.

Frankly, the people around him tried to dissuade him. They told him that Damian was young and maybe the Duke could try waiting one or two more years before putting him in boarding but the Duke snorted at them.

[Young? At six years old, he should be able to survive even if he's thrown into a desert.]

They were all shocked at the standard he held Damian to. But the words that came out of the young lord's mouth was even more astonishing.

[The survival rate of boarding school is surely more than that of a desert. Thank you for your generous actions.]

And so, the young master that was grossly mature for his age, went to boarding school without any hesitation.

< — Ducal couple — > (16)

TN: Question: So I am going off the assumption that most of you read on your phones so I activated the mobile theme. Is it better? for your reading experience!

Two years passed and the Duke did not so much as mention his son making one wonder if he actually had a son, and likewise the young lord did not so much as briefly contact his home.

'I won't be surprised at all if it remains this way till he graduates in ten years.'

As irony would have it, the Duke's indifference towards Damian suppressed hostile forces and stopped them from acting hastily towards Damian.

'The Duke may have purposefully intended for that to happen.'

"He can't leave at all?" (Hugo)

Ashin quickly pushed away his straying thoughts.

"An outing is possible."

"Tell him to come then."

"…Do you mean right now? But the semester just began and we need to notify them at least one week in advance to get permission for an outing–"

"When did you start questioning my words?"

If you are given orders, just follow them.

Ashin immediately broke out in cold sweat and his expression grew stiff as he replied.

"…I understand. I will immediately send out a message."

"I have sent someone to the capital to tell Fabian to prepare the family register and bring it back with him when he returns."

'So he wants to elevate the little lord's status. If the little lord's status is elevated…no one would be able utter any complaint.'

It had been announced that the little lord would become the Duke's successor but he was still merely an illegitimate child.

But if his legal status was elevated, he stops being a demerit of the duke and becomes the perfect successor.

Those who were still expecting some kind of change in the future would have to give up once the little lord's status was elevated.

'The Duchess must have agreed to his entry into the family register. I did hear their marital relationship is very good but what will happen if the Duchess gives birth to a child? If she gives birth to a son, that will be a headache…'

"It's Elliot, your Grace."

The instant those words fell, a scary-looking middle-aged knight walked in. The Knight Captain, Elliot Caliss appropriately paid his respects then lifted up the lengthy bamboo barrel.

Hugo received the barrel and pulled apart the top, revealing the rolled up letter within it.

Ashin felt a shiver run down his spine as he watched Hugo read the letter, narrow his eyes and give a dreary smile.

'Fuck, he scares me more when he's like that.'*

"Mobilize seven people. I will leave the assignments to you and we will set out as soon as they are ready."

The rain was almost over but the sun was already setting on the afternoon.

It was different from the usual early departure at dawn, but the faithful Knight Caliss answered with only a few words and withdrew.*

"Hunting after a long time, huh." (Caliss)

'Human hunting.'

To Hugo's mutterance, Ashin mumbled the hidden words to himself.

'Whew…today's dreams will not be peaceful.'

Ashin had once unintentionally followed the Duke to the battlefield a few years ago as an administrative officer although he was far away from the battlefield.

From time to time, he still saw scenes from that time and they made his heart palpitate.

His chills were not caused from seeing the cold-blooded killing. On the contrary, that was easier to see than the unrealistic and dizzying sight of the Duke slicing off someone's throat and making their heads fly to the sky.

The Black Lion? Ashin found that nickname to be much embellished.

The Taran Duke who donned a black armor as he tore through the battlefield was understandably a godsend and most certainly a devil.

As he took in the sight of the Duke covered in blood like a wild beast and laughing comfortably, Ashin had muttered something without realizing it.

'What a lunatic.'

He was startled as the words left his mouth and worried as to whether someone heard him but fortunately, his monologue was buried under the cries of soldiers drunk with the madness of war.

Ashin was someone who wasn't scared of anything in the world. He did not hold back whatever he wanted to say and his capability matched his reckless personality that made both his superiors and subordinates leave him.

But, from that day onwards, Ashin became a docile sheep in front of the Duke of Taran.

He realized how terrifying the Taran Duke was. Of course, the Duke was publically known to be a pretty scary person but he felt the duke was even more terrifying than how they described him.

In places other than the battlefield, the Duke put on a mask of good manners and his rough side could not be seen at all.

People who interacted with him only focused on the fact that he was a young duke and a great dancer.

That was why it was scarier. It was frightening that the bloody thing he witnessed on the battlefield could hide its madness and pretend to be a classic nobleman that had never held a sword before.

"Will the agenda be prolonged?"

"I know I have to go but I'm afraid it will take a while."

"Then, during the time you are gone, the young lord could look over it."

Hugo thought about it for a moment.

Although that child was young, he was of the Taran bloodline. It was difficult to think of him as another eight year old.

That boy had plunged a sword into the heart of a man whose ankle Hugo had caught in a trap and finished him off.

He recalled the past for a moment then returned to reality. That boy was never an innocent one.

There wasn't any insanity coursing through his veins yet but who knew when it would appear. But still, he was currently the mild type.

According to the reports he continuously received, he wasn't foolishly nice like his father but he didn't have a cruel temperament.

The first time Hugo met Damian, if he hadn't seen eyes similar to that of his dead brother then he would have killed him on the spot and disposed of him.

No matter how mild he was, malicious intent wouldn't fly. Compared to Damian, his wife was a docile rabbit.

He couldn't help but get worried that it would just be the two of them. He didn't find it strange at all as he subconsciously worried about her.

"Why don't you personally go get him?"

"…Huh?"

"Make sure to warn him when he arrives, to give the proper respect to his mother. If I return and hear anything strange…"

"Ah, yes. I will make sure there is nothing to worry about."

Shortly after Ashin withdrew, Jerome rushed into the office after hearing that the knights were preparing to leave.

'I think it began the day after we called the doctor…'

He was unsure as to what happened between the two of them but from that day onwards, their relationship grew strange.

His master was taking the initiative to distance himself from her Grace. Saying he was busy was just an excuse.

His master always had a lot of work however it was never to the extent where he couldn't eat or sleep.

According to the maids, they also slept separately. Every time he looked at her Grace as she tried to act like everything was fine even though she was dismayed, he felt his heart ache.

'Don't do this, master.'

For the first time ever, he felt rebellious towards his master in his heart.

He could barely stop himself from asking his master why he would leave on a long term absence without resolving this situation.

Jerome brought in warm tea just as usual and its delicate fragrance filled the air. He poured the tea, filling up the empty cup.

"What should I do about your evening meal?"

"Mmm, you don't need to prepare it. I will be leaving soon."

Hugo raised his head and lifted the cup of tea to his mouth.

"I will be going hunting but I don't know the exact schedule."

"…it's already late. How about leaving tomorrow at dawn?"

"No, I am about to get ready and I already ordered for it."

"As for her Grace…"

"Inform her for me."

"…Did her Grace make a huge mistake?"

Jerome spoke firmly as Hugo gaze fell on him.

"Even if she did make a mistake, I hope you can generously forgive her. For the past few days, her Grace has not exchanged any words with your Grace."

"This isn't something you have a say in. You are crossing the line."

"Yes. I have to say something presumptuous. Her Grace is the Duchess. She is different from the other women you were fascinated with for a bit and then threw away. You have to treat her valuably."

Hugo stared at Jerome with slightly widened eyes. Watching Jerome's slightly downcast gaze as he stubbornly persisted, Hugo narrowed his eyes.

Translator's Corner:

*Never heard the first word before so I googled it and all I could for find it is: it's a 'vulgar profanity.' It sounds very similar to the word for 'shit' though. Btw, this book is tagged smut & mature so you won't be getting any censoring from me.

* The raw translation says he answers with only two words but I couldn't translate that sentence to only two words. I mean in Korean, it is two words but English doesn't words that mean a whole sentence.

And new goal up on patreon for an extra release on here.

< — Ducal couple — > (17)

TN: Dunno if I've mentioned this but thank you all soo much for constantly commenting! Huuuge motivator for me. Enjoy! Also:

"Her Grace came to this unfamiliar northern region alone, not knowing anybody, yet she never complained about her situation being difficult or uncomfortable. If your Grace were ignore her Grace, then shle truly would be alone."

Hugo actually began to suspect just where Jerome came out from today to have such a completely different temperament but when he thought about it, there was no denying that Jerome was Fabian's blood brother.

To speak without any fear was Fabian's trademark.

Hugo's red eyes glowed even redder.

"These days, her Grace…"

"Shut up."

"Your Grace."

"I dare you to say one more word…"

Feeling the murderous gaze on him, Jerome shut his mouth and lowered his gaze.

The Duke was not a master that needlessly picked on someone's faults but he was a master that would never tolerate challenges to his authority.

The criteria depended on if someone were getting above themselves. Jerome did not have the authority to butt into the ducal couple's private relationship.

It wasn't because Jerome was a steward. No one in Roam had such authority. Hugo was extremely displeased with the situation.

He wondered if she had sent him as she had enough reason to do so. But this was Jerome.

The Jerome that did not unnecessarily interfere with his usual work, and could distinguish between the things Hugo alone could to do and the things Jerome could deal with himself.

Therefore, Jerome's unusual behavior got on his nerves. Hugo already knew that Jerome took care of her more than the usual.

He did not doubt Jerome's loyalty as a steward but he was strangely irritated.

"Impressive. Did she ask you to come annoy me?"

Even though he knew that there was no way she had, he felt extremely twisted inside.

"No, Your Grace! Her Grace would never—!"

Crash!

A teacup flew past Jerome's face and shattered to pieces on the floor as soon as Jerome opened his mouth.

"I told you to shut up."

Hugo swiftly got up and walked out of the office while Jerome sat down with a paling face.

He made a mistake. A terrible result of his needless interference. If Fabian were here, he definitely would have told him that their relationship wasn't one he should interfere with.

'I've let down her Grace's honor.'*

His first rebellion against his master ended with his tail completely trampled. He unnecessarily intervened and even created a misunderstanding.

Jerome sighed and began to sweep the pieces of the tea cup that was scattered everywhere.

The fact that the cup did not fly at his forehead meant that his master was already pretty tolerant.

'I'll ask Fabian for some advice when he comes.'

Useless mouth! And so he began to sharply berate himself.

***

Lucia returned home early from her outing with Kate, using the excuse that she wasn't feeling well.

She didn't feel like talking or going horseback riding. Right after she returned from seeing Kate, the doctor scarily came to visit.

"Your Grace."

Anna looked at loss for what to do and she couldn't meet Lucia's eyes, seemingly nervous.

That day, he had left after saying that she could do as she pleased but from the next day onwards, he continuously sent Anna.

"Your Grace, the Duke calls me every evening and asks me how the treatment is going."

Anna said with an expression that read 'please save me'. When the Duke called Anna, he didn't say any other thing.

He would just asked how the treatment was going but that alone gave Anna enormous pressure.

"Please, honestly tell me the symptoms that you know about."

Because of this, in just a few days, the anger in Lucia's heart steadily increased. She felt like she was deceived by him and couldn't break free.

She felt like going to his office immediately and giving him a slap.

'Alright. I'll do what you want me to do.'

Lucia opened her mouth and began to explain her symptoms. She explained it exactly how she explained it to the doctors she searched for in her dream.

Yes, she already knew a cure for it but she had no intention of using it. However, if Anna found another cure, she didn't plan on refusing treatment.

But the chances of that happening were close to none. She'd met countless doctors in her dream numerous times, but none of them could cure her.

It was an amazing coincidence and luck that she was able to get a treatment method from that wandering doctor.

She didn't think such coincidence and luck would happen a second time.

And as expected, Anna looked confused after hearing her explanation. She looked bewildered by the fact that Lucia took mugwort herb and cause her menstruation to stop. She didn't seem to know anything about it.

"I'm sorry, your Grace. To be frank, my abili so I do not know how to treat you. But I will definitely figure out a way."

Anna resolutely assured her. Lucia sat absent-mindedly for a little while then went out into the garden.

***

Hugo left his office extremely displeased and thoughtlessly walked till he stepped outside.

The rain had stopped but there was no sign of the sun.

'I guess the day is ending like this.'

When he realized it, he was already in the garden. He quickly turned around and tried to leave but before he could do that he discovered her.

She was bent over in a bow, looking at an almost blossoming flower bud. He stood still for a while, then his feet turned towards her.

Lucia straightened her waist and turned to see him approaching her, instantly, she found herself falling into a fantasy as the air around her changed.

Everything around her blurred and all she could see was him. Lucia knew she had experienced something like this before.

'When I was in the capital…the day of the Knight's parade…'

It was the day that she saw him for the first time in reality, not in her dreams.

She was angry with him. Her condition was terrible because she could not sleep properly as every night, she stared at the bedroom door that never opened.

And just a while ago, she wanted to slap him if she ever saw him. But once she saw him, all the anger that had piled up, instantly melted away like salt dissolved in the water.

'I am such an idiot…'

She knew that he was unattainable and thought she had locked down her feelings but her heart seemed to slip through the crevices.

While her heart bubbled over, it also hurt.

'I love him.'

She didn't know what to do. Just like his countless past lovers, she couldn't keep her heart to herself.

'He must not find out.'

If he took one step closer to her, she would take two steps backwards. She didn't want to be sent a rose.

Note: I am crashing immediately after this upload. New comments will be approved once I wake up.

< — Ducal couple — > (17)

TN: WE REACHED THE GOAL ON PATRON! Huge thanks! So here is the extra release! Regular release is still coming tmrw. Also: . For those curious:

Reaching the end of her breathtaking realizations, Lucia turned towards him and smiled.

'Ah…'

Hugo felt the annoyance and irritation that had been bothering him dissipate the instant he saw her smile.

It was as refreshing as waking up in the morning after a good night's sleep. Hugo finally woke up from his folly.

What he was afraid of wasn't her existence, it was his wavering. Simply imagining never seeing her smile again made him feel like he couldn't breathe.

'I told you so', his heart seemed to mock him.

"Look at this, won't the flower be blooming soon? I think it will bloom fully in a few days."

Hugo was momentarily tongue-tied when she began to speak to him as though nothing had happened.

"…I see."

Her refreshed expression made him feel miserable. Unlike his fretful self, she had her usual peaceful expression.

"I heard you've been busy. Did you come out to get some air?"

"Mmm… the busy stuff is almost done but something came up so I will have to leave for a while."

"Ah."

Lucia's face changed for an instant then she gave another sweet smile.

"How long will it take? Will you be gone for a long time?"

"I don't know the exact details so it could be a while. Why are you alone? What of your maid?"

"I sent her on an errand. Since the rain was over, I thought of having a cup of tea here. If it's okay, would you like to join me?"

"…Sure."

He just had some tea a while ago but he didn't refuse her.

After a while, a couple of maids came, bringing a folding table and a tea basket. The table was placed at a suitable place and the two of them sat facing each other.

"I was worried since it's rarely dry nowadays, but I am glad that the rain stopped mid-day."

"What have you been doing?"

"Just the same stuff as usual. Take care of the garden and then reading books. That's strange. You are talking to me as though we haven't seen each other in a long time. It was just a few days."

Was it just a few days? He felt like it was a very long time but to her, it was just a few days.

He found her spiritedness admirable and felt remorseful. He reached out and caressed her soft cheek. Her soft skin gave him the illusion that he would leave marks if he exerted even a little more strength.

She was weak. Yet this frail existence threatened him so strongly.

"…That day, I made a mistake and I want to apologize to you. It wasn't my intention to treat you as an unfaithful woman."

"…"

"What I meant was…offsprings are rare in the Taran family. Getting pregnant will be difficult… and I didn't want you to get disappointed after hoping for a child."

His excuse did not really touch Lucia's heart. After all, if offsprings were rare then it would be more convincing for his attitude to be supporting her pregnancy rather than rejecting it.

But when she saw how he was carefully contemplating his words, a laugh escaped from her mouth.

"Okay."

She tried to laugh but tears fell down from her eyes. The wounds she had received at that time no longer hurt. She had already forgiven him.

His tender words and gentle caresses made her heart ache with happiness.

Looking at the tears flowing down her cheeks, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do and stood up.

He took a step around the tea table towards her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong."

His embrace and scent that she'd been missing made her feel like she had gone from hell to heaven in an instant.

'We can go back… to how we were before.'

To how they were the last few months. It was fine even if their relationship was a castle of sand and no one knew when it would collapse.

When one couldn't see the waves, they would assume it was all okay. Nothing was resolved, but it was fine to think about later things, later.

Her heart felt like it had overcome the heavens and was rather calm. Once she accepted her changing heart and wasn't anxious about it, she felt at peace.

Her heaven and hell depended on how she made up her mind.

'He…at the very least, he treats me with love.'

She was unsure as to how he treated his past lovers but she decided to think that she was a little more special.

It was not conceit but she had to plant that much confidence in herself so she could stand firmly and love him.

'Also, I have an advantage.'

She was his legitimate wife. It was a justification that none of his past lovers ever had.

'I won't cling to you. I also won't subdue myself to please you.'

She wouldn't have such a miserable love.

She won't beg for his love.

She won't play the virtuous wife, obeying everything he says unconditionally.

She would only do as much as she could, loving him with all of her might but only just enough that she wouldn't start hating him.

It made her wonder if he had ever received love from a woman that did not cling to him.

The thought that maybe she could make him flustered was amusing.

'It is fine even if it takes a lifetime. If someday, you tell me that you love me, I won't feel like my life has been in vain.'

If she lived like this for one year, five years, even ten years, perhaps she could slowly influence him. Even a little drizzle can become something scary.

Lucia lifted her head a little from within his embrace.

"You said you were wrong, right?"

"Huh? Yea."

"I'll forgive you but I have two conditions."

"Conditions? What are they?"

He had an expression that said he didn't like the word itself.

"The first is… a kiss of reconciliation."

His eyes widened slightly then curved. As Hugo's face drew closer, she closed her eyes.

Their lips touched lightly at first, then met again, with his lips sucking hers in this time.

He suckled and swallowed her tender lips countless times in his mouth. His tongue slipped through the cracks of her mouth, gently and carefully stroking the innards of her mouth then pushed it deeper, stimulating her.

The long and sweet kiss that was neither light nor heated but breathtaking finally came to an end.

He spoke with his lips almost touching hers.

"The second is?"

Because it seemed like he would kiss her again as he drew closer, she held him back and turned her head slightly.

"I am modifying the contract. No matter how I think about the freedom in your private life part, it makes me feel bad. That is practically telling me you're going to be cheating. Please don't go making lovers elsewhere."

He was taken aback and couldn't help but stare at her for a bit then spoke in a slightly crestfallen voice.

"…I won't make any."

He felt a little offended. After he married, he hadn't even looked at other women but unfortunately, he couldn't refute his track record of being a malicious playboy.

"Additionally, if you get disgusted or tired of me and you want to leave me for another woman, please tell me first. I do not wish to hear it from another person's mouth."

He stared at her for a while then muttered bitterly.

"I forgot for a moment. In your head, I am a pretty terrible guy."

It was a mysterious feeling to be marked as a bad guy rather than a nice guy by the woman he loved but again, he couldn't refute this.

"I can't give any excuses."

He mumbled then grabbed her hand, kissing it.

"As you wish."

He straightened his upper body and spoke to the maid that had been fretfully standing at the side for a while.

"What is it?"

"Sir Elliot has asked me to pass on his words; he is ready and waiting for the order to depart."

Hugo had finally realized his feelings towards her but nothing could change right now. He still could not promise her anything.

There were also many things that he couldn't reveal to her. He needed more time to decide what to and what not to show to her.

The hunt this time should give him the time he needed.

"You don't need to see me off. Return."

"…Yes. Please return safely."

Watching his back as he walked away, Lucia's heart throbbed and she clutched her chest tightly.

She hoped desperately, that he would never leave her like this someday.