Separation in illusion

A few days prior before Kii's escapes.

"Arzen..." I hear someone called me distinctly.

"Arzen... Did you hear us?" another voice asked.

"Ace-kun... What happened?" a sweet voice asked.

"Arzen? Arzen? Open your eyes." another familiar voice called to me again.

"Ace-kun... Please be alright." the sweet voice told me sadly.

My heart clenched painfully at the sound. I don't want her to be sad. I don't know how I know it was a woman voice, I just know it. My head feels funny. Where was I? Who am I? Is it even me that they were calling? I'm not sure about it, but I'm sure that I don't want to hear her voice sound so sad. So fragile. Who was she?

"Arzen, Please! Wake up... She is gone. Please wake up!" the voice called to me again.

Who is gone? The sweet voice is gone? No! She can't be gone. I don't want her to be gone. I have to protect her. Eh? Why did I have to protect her again? Ah, she is my treasure.

Arzen. Is that me? But, she called me Ace. How come? I tried to open my eyes. It's heavy. I feel as if I'm here yet I'm not. Who are they? They sound so desperate. I want to make them feel better, yet I can't really remember who are they. Really... Who am I? I wonder.

"Arzen! ... Arzen! ...!" their voice starting to get muddled and sound as if it's getting farther and farther.

So, I am Arzen?

"Ace..." another new yet familiar voice called.

Or, am I Ace? I am a bit confused here. Am I Arzen? Or am I Ace?

Damn, the head killing me. It's so heavy. My mind blank. I can't recall anything. Where did the sweet voice go? I miss it somehow. I want to hear it again. But, I don't want to hear it sad, so I hope next time I hear it again, the sweet voice will sound happy. 

My treasure. Who is she?

A glint of silver suddenly pops up in my mind. It has blue at the tips, swaying in the wind. I realized that it was someone's figure. No, not someone. It was a girl and she is my treasure. I feel myself reaching out to her. My treasure. My life. My desire. My soulmate. My dream. My home. My K...

"Ace! Oi, Ace! Wake up, idiot! Until when are you going to sleep?" another voice snapped me from my musing.

Eh, what was I talking about again? Ah, my treasure! My treasure is actually a girl with silver hair named...

"Ace!" the voice shouted. My body jerked up as I woke up in surprise. 

Oh, damn! My head! I look around. I was sleeping on the deck. Eh, where am I?

"So, you finally awake, huh?" someone said while grabbing my neck and gave me a noogie.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch" I protested. I kneed my attacker on the rib and turned to look at him.

"That hurt, Thatch!" I said instinctively.

Eh, Thatch? I feel something is wrong here.

"There you go spacing out again!" Thatch rubbed my hair. For a second, someone with a kind smile and silver hair overlapping his feature. I blink my eyes.

Nah, Thatch is kind but he has a light brown (honestly, I thought it looks more orange than brown) hair. It is also pompadour style, not a neat prince-like style. Prince? Where did it come from? Why the hell I compare him to a prince? We're pirates! I never even meet a prince.

"Ace?" Thatch said clicking his fingers in front of my face.

"Huh, what is it?" I asked.

"I said you need to eat. It's already late and everyone already has breakfast except you. That's why I'm here in the first place. I was looking for you because you didn't show up for breakfast" he explained.

"I see," I said as my stomach decided to tell us that it's time for it to have food.

Thatch laughed and dragged me with him to the kitchen. 

I see. I am Ace. Portgas D Ace. A pirate. Precisely, a second commander of the famous Whitebeard pirate.

Wait a moment, I feel like I've forgotten something important. Very, very important. 

The feeling is still bugging me ever as Thatch serves me breakfast. I am eating while thinking about what was I forgotten about. Even as Thatch is talking my ears off, I seem to unable to let the feeling go. Somehow, I feel as if I will feel really devasted if I let myself forget about it. About what? I don't know.

Marco shows up in the middle of my breakfast and asked if i have finished my report. I was dazed and accidentally called him 'Marco-chan' which ended with me getting beaten up by him, and Thatch rolling in the ground, laughing his ass off.

I walked back to my room slash office still in a daze, musing of the reason why I called Marco that. My mind tells me that it was because Marco-chan is our Kingdom Emblem? Guardian spirit? Again, what Kingdom am I talking about? Even if there is a Kingdom, who the hell called their guardian spirit 'Marco-chan'? Your fiancee did, my mind supports.

Oh, so that how it is. No, wonder. If it was her, I can see it's happening. I smiled to myself fondly.

Wait, My Fiancee?

I don't have a fiancee. I have no interest in romance, how can I have a fiancee?. Hmm, weird. Something is weird with my head. I decided to forget about it in the meantime, I need to finish that report Marco was talking about. I don't want to repeat what happened that time when I forgot to finish my report. I shudder in remembrance and continue my way to my room.

Moby Dick is fun. It is home. My brothers are also fun. They are precious. This is my family. My home.

When you have fun, days passed quickly. Without realising it, the next day is coming to you already. Each day, that is how I feel. Yet, even when days to days passed, I don't feel the time is moving.

Thatch is alive. Oyaji is alright. Teach is nice and not a traitor. Dunno why the word traitor flashed in my mind when I think about Teach. Anyway, everyone is happy. My former crews are also alive and well. Everything is perfect. We are a big family. We are strong and safe. 

These past days, I have this urge to check on them and make sure they're alive and well. Happy and safe, which is not making sense. We are pirates. We like adventures and dangerous things. Why do I feel I need to keep them safe?

So many things that I don't understand. It's frustrated me. I love being with my family, but I still feel something is missing in my life.

"I think you just miss your brother. It's been a long time since you last saw him after all." Haruta said when I told them about it.

"Huh, missing Luffy?" I asked. Luffy is having his own adventure with his own pirate crew. He is almost fulfilled his dream. There is no way I'm feeling down because I don't see Luffy, isn't there?

"He means your other brother," Izou said.

I tilted my head to him in confuse. "My other brother?" I asked.

"Blond hair, blue eyes. Named..." Vista trailed as I answered "Akai"

"... Sabo" he finished at the same time Marco asked, "who is Akai?"

I scratched my head. "Who indeed... The name just pops up in my head all of sudden" I told them.

"Oh, honestly Ace. you've been out of it for too long. How about we call your brother and ask him to meet you at the next island that we plan to restock? Maybe there is just something that you need to talk about with him and not us?" Namur said as he also joined the conversation.

"But, why would I have something to tell him but not you all?" I asked.

"Hey, sometimes we just need to talk to a particular person to understand something. It doesn't mean that you don't trust the others, if that what you're worried about" Marco said, patting my shoulder.

"Thanks," I told them.

"Hey, don't thank us. You're our little brother, we want you to feel better" Haruta smiled.

Someone with blue hair and a scowl flashed in my eyes at the world of little brother. Eh? Luffy doesn't look like that. I'm sure of it.

"Personally, I think Ace just need to have a little fun" Thatch rubbed my hair "what do you say when we reach the land, you go with me to have fun with some pretty lady, huh Ace?" Thatch continued.

Izou smacked him in the face before I had a chance to answer him.

"Don't you dare to corrupt him, you jerk!" Izou said, whacking him again.

"Ouch! Izou! Ace isn't a kid anymore. Don't you think it's time for him to step up into adulthood?" Thatch protested.

"Adulthood my ass! I won't let you turn him into a pervert like you!" Izou answered.

"Hey, you guys agree with me, right? Ace, you agree with me right?" Thatch asked us.

The others snort at him. I blink. 

"Everyone has their own pace to reach adulthood. Let Ace find his own pace, Thatch" Marco lectured.

"Yeah, besides I don't think Ace will know what to do yet if you take him to the brothel now. Well, except if you're planning to teach him 'the birds and the bees' before that" Haruta added.

I opened my mouth to tell him that I already know about that. I am a pirate, I live among pirates. I like it or not some of our brothers are like to talk about their 'adventures' with ladies. It will be weird if I don't know about that particular activities.

"Yeah, does Ace even have a type?" Namur unconsciously cuts my protest and look at me for confirmation. The others also look at me in unison.

I was about to tell them that no, I don't have a type. No, I'm not interested in women or romance, or anything to do with it particularly, when a voice of someone's giggling resonance in my ears. I blanked. 

"Ace-kun..." the voice whispered. Sweet and full of desire. Her face was vague but I know I want this girl. An image of myself panting on top of her, and her clinging to me asking for more flashed like a lightning.

"A sweet blue-grey eyed petite girl. Silver hair with blue on the tips. Naive yet not innocent. Brave and curious. Kind but strong. Not the purest but she shines brighter among others woman. Crazy, as crazy as me" I told them in a daze, I was aware that I'm smiling.

"Ooohhh!" they say in surprise.

"Don't tell me that you already have a girlfriend somewhere all this time, Ace!" Thatch accused me.

"I don't!" I tell them. 

"Hoo, and who is this blue-grey eyed girl you're talking about, huh?" Haruta teased.

"I... Don't know" I told them.

"Oh, come on Ace. You make us curious!" Izou said.

"But, I really don't know" I insist.

I look at Marco for help. He stares at me for a moment before he sighs.

"Okay, you lot. Get back to work! Leave him alone." Marco said.

"Thanks" I mumble to him before I go, leaving their protested voice behind me.

Who is she indeed? I asked myself.

 "Arzen, wake up you idiot prince! Tell us what happened. Who did this to you? Stupid, idiot Arzen! You said you're going to protect her. She is gone. We don't know where she is, even Uncle Ra's magic can't trace her. Wake up, idiot. She will be sad if you still haven't wake up yet when she is back... If she is even able to be back. Oh, Ether-sama... How this is happening? Please protect my sister. Why bad things always happen to her?" a very devasted voice said in my dream.

Arzen. That name again. Who is this Arzen if I'm Ace?

I heard that laugh again. Sweet and full of happiness. I heard my own laugh mingle with hers. I was happy. I saw myself standing in the darkness. Alone. A hand grabbed onto mine and held it tight. It's warm. Her hand is warm.

I glanced at her. I saw a smile. I still can't see her face clearly, but I know she is my treasure.

Are you alright? I want to ask her. Don't leave me, I want to say. I cup her face. If I can't see her then at least let me feel her. She is so warm and smooth. I hold her body close to me, trying to make sure that she is here. She is safe. 

"please come back soon, Ace-kun," she told me as she hugs my body close to her. I was about to call her name when she was evaporated right in front of me.

"No!" I called "Don't go!" 

I look around to find her. I ran everywhere, yet she was nowhere to be found. I want to call her name, but I wasn't able to recall it. I tripped and promptly fell off my bed.

I blinked to the ceiling. Damn! What a weird dream.

"Oi, Ace. You there?" someone said at my door, knocking lightly. I glance at it and yawn. I don't want to deal with their stupidity yet. Let's pretend that I'm not here.

"Oi, Ace you fool. I know you heard me. Are you going to open the door?" it said again. The voice was very familiar. I nudged my pillow by my feet until it dropped down near me. I grabbed it and hold it close to me. Then, I close my eyes again. I want to dream about that sweet girl again.

The knocking on my door is still going and the voice is still talking about something. I ignore it all. Hmm, they should know that it is very rude to keep knocking on a Prince door when he is not answering you the first time. I thought to myself. My mind is a bit muddled by the dream, that I wasn't even aware that I refer to myself as a prince.

The knocking is finally stopped. I sigh to myself thinking that peace has come when the door was blasted open. I saw a pair of boots, then pants, looking up more, I saw his pissed face. There at my door is my best friend. My very first friend. My brother. Sabo.

A grown-up Sabo. I kinda feel like a dejavu hits me. I feel like I've met him before. Oh silly me, of course, I've met him before. He is my brother for heaven sake! Yet, something feels not right.

I sat in surprise, and hold the pillow close to my body. I gape at him. Sabo is still dusting himself.

"What are you doing there?" he asked when he finally looks up. "Let the pillow go! You look stupid!" he added pointing at the pillow that I hug.

I blink at him. He sighs. "No wonder the others said you're weird," Sabo muttered to himself. He takes the pillow away from me and put it back on my bed.

"Are you going to stay seated there on the floor, or are you going to come along with me to the deck? I told you before and will tell you again. You look stupid sitting there with that pose." he smirked.

"You're alive!" I blurted.

"And why wouldn't I be?" Sabo rolled his eyes.

"No, you're alive Sabo. Alive!" I laughed and cried at the same time. I was happy. Really, really happy by the fact that he is alive.

"Ace?" Sabo asks in confusion. "Are you alright? Did something happen?" He said, walking closer to me who was still frozen on the floor.

"No, everything is fine. You're alive. I'm so happy you're alive, Sabo. So happy..." I can't stop my tears. I know it makes me look like a pansy, but I just can't stop it. I'm so happy. Sabo is alive. Alive!

"Hey, hey, hey, idiot! I don't know what happened to you, but I'm here. I'm here. I am always here with you, Ace" Sabo said, giving me a one-armed hug as I sob my eyes out.

"I know. You told me" I answered.

"See? And I will tell you again that it hasn't changed" Sabo said again with a smile.

"Oi, what are you guys doing here? Everyone is waiting. What happened to the door?" someone shows up again at my door.

"Luffy!" I shout in delight.

"Ace!" he shouts at the same delighted voice as me.

Sabo laughs at us. I'm blessed to have them. The three of us out in the sea is something I've dreamed for a long time. The three of us are always together since we are young, even if now Luffy is sailing with his own crew and Sabo doing God knows what, and I'm here with oyaji's crew. We are still brothers and we meet sometime. Besides, we are sailing in the same sea, so it's okay even if we are not under the same flag.

It's easy with them. I told them all my worry. I told them about my treasure that I don't able to recall. I told them about the time that I feel wasn't moving. I told them about everything.

"Hey, you have new brothers doesn't mean that you replacing us. It's just meant that we also have new brothers." Sabo smiles.

"Right, Right. You're such a worrywart, Ace!" Luffy added.

"I want to be together with both of you again," I told them.

"We're now. Always" Sabo said.

"Yeah, wherever we're, we will always be with you, Ace," Luffy said enthusiastically.

What we are talking about is not making sense, but somehow it lessens the burden on my heart. 

Marco comes to check on us after that and we had a party. I meet Luffy's crew again. There are more but I don't seem to be able to remember his new crews. I meet Sabo's companions too, though I also not able to recall them. I just thought that he will have companions, naturally.

My brothers, my crews and I sailing together in the sea. It's wonderful. I heard from Sabo and Luffy that gramps is doing fine. I'm glad. They said Dadan and the bandits are also doing well, and Makino along with the Mayor and the other are also happy and well. I'm glad. So glad. This is perfect.

I look at them fondly. My life is perfect. I want to stay here forever. I don't want to be separated.

As soon as the words passed on my mind, I feel my heart clenched painfully. No, I don't want to be separated. I have to protect her. But who? It doesn't make sense.

I walk out from their smiling face wobblily. I found a quiet place in the deck. The moon shines brightly. Though, looking at it, J can't help but feel sad. There is a longing in my heart. I'm home, yet I want to go home.

Suddenly, a man with silver hair and grey eyes materialised behind me. His clothes are neat, he is not suitable to be in the ship full of pirates at all. I prepare myself for a fight. I can't let my guard down just because he doesn't look that strong.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Who am I?" He raised his brows.

"That what I asked," I told him.

The man doesn't answer. He is looking at me with a deviance expression.

"You know who I am," he said.

I want to say that I don't know him, but I know that I know who he is. He is someone that about to answer all my questions. I cross my hands over my chest and stare at him. He stares back.

We stand across from each other, feeling as if we are the same yet different. What are we to each other?