4.Training2

"Motoko... what the hell are you doing?" Kurenai asked.

Standing on top of the river, looking remarkably disheveled, was Motoko. With a potted plant on her head. Doing the chakra-molding exercise Kurenai had given her yesterday.

"Kurenai-sensei!" Motoko exclaimed, slipping a bit. The plant wobbled dangerously before abruptly righting itself. It was being held in place with chakra, Kurenai realized.

Motoko, or rather, Naruto, was actually doing something quite difficult. Standing on a river required a constant flow of chakra out through the legs. Keeping the plant stuck to her head was like the tree-climbing exercise; an exact amount had to be steadily kept. Too much and the pot would crack. Not enough and it'd slip off. Finally, the hand-seal exercise required periodic bursts of chakra.

So, Motoko was flowing chakra out her legs at a constant rate, maintaining a constant amount of chakra in her forehead, and molding a specific amount of chakra in her hands at an interval.

Come to think of it, this was all happening while Naruto maintained the henge across his whole body.

It was actually an excellent exercise to improve control, better than what Kurenai had actually assigned. But it required a substantial well of chakra to keep so much of it active.

Plus, it was a damn sight sillier looking.

"Have you been out here all night, Motoko-chan?" Kurenai asked, surprised.

"I guess so." Motoko cheerfully agreed. "I'm pretty tired though, since I've been doing this exercise for a couple hours now."

"A couple hours." Kurenai repeated. A couple hours of that would put her in the hospital with chakra depletion. Or even burn-out.

"Yeah! I pretty much worked out the drill an hour or two after I got home, so I put Ukkun here," Motoko bobbed her head, drawing attention to the plant, "on my head. That got too easy quick, though, so I came out here after that to stand on the moving water!"

"I see." Kurenai said faintly. She had been told that Uzumaki Naruto was a "stamina monster," but she'd never quite understood until now.

"Ahh," Motoko said, sighing as she set the plant down by the riverbank, "that was a good exercise! I could really feel the burn."

"Motoko-chan," Kurenai said, "what burn? You can't actually feel the chakra in your body. Unless you begin to burn. . . out. . . your chakra circulatory system." Kurenai suddenly felt like she needed to sit down.

"Ah, so that's what that is!" Motoko said cheerfully. "I just know I have an easier time controlling the chakra during training, when I can feel the pain in my body!"

Kurenai squeezed her eyes shut. "Motoko-chan," Kurenai began, "if you'd payed any attention at all in your Academy lectures, you'd know that 'burn' is the feeling of your chakra cooking your body. Too much and you could cripple yourself."

Motoko blinked. "Really?" She sat down, rather heavily. "I guess it's a good thing I heal so well, then!"

Kurenai nodded, slightly dumbstruck. This kid was nuts.

"Anyway," Kurenai said, "why don't we take a break, then, so you can rest?"

"But I'm not tired!" Motoko whined. At Kurenai's disbelieving stare, she qualified it. "Okay, well, I'm tired, but not too tired to train, and I have plenty of chakra left!"

"You would." Kurenai muttered. "Well, then, do the drill as I showed you."

"Okay!" Motoko said, far more enthusiastic than someone who just spent a night burning chakra could logically be.

Naruto, Kurenai was astonished to find, had surprisingly good chakra control. It wasn't great, but after listening to everyone talk about how terrible it was, she was surprised at the reality. But, she reasoned, the last time someone had thoroughly evaluated Naruto's skill had been before the Genin exam. Since then, Naruto had learned Kage Bunshin, Kuchiyose, and (rumors told, but Kurenai was a little incredulous of this one) Rasengan. Constantly performing A-rank ninjutsu was bound to improve someone's control.

Naruto's seal-making speed was pretty atrocious, though. That had been the focus of the drill Kurenai had given him.

"All right, that's enough." Kurenai said. She was satisfied. "Well, you've progressed a lot faster than I thought... I guess it's time to teach you some jutsu."

Kurenai raised an eyebrow at Motoko's enthusiasm. Almost as bad as Lee. But, considering her appearance, it came off as "cute" instead of "fruity."

"Genjutsu time!" Motoko crowed. "I'll create an Alien Zone that will instantly deceive all opponents!"

"Settle down, settle down." Kurenai instructed. "Now, genjutsu are a lot more flexible than ninjutsu or taijutsu. That's a weakness and a strength. Most genjutsu of a similar type have the same handseals and chakra flow. The difference is the effect you visualize."

"So," Motoko said, her face scrunched up. On Naruto, it was a frown. On Motoko, it was an adorable pout. Kurenai was pretty sure Naruto wasn't aware of just how cute Motoko had turned out.

"So," Motoko repeated, "It's important to know exactly what I want the other person to see?"

Kurenai nodded. "And feel, and hear, and smell. With genjutsu, you can't just mold the chakra with your hands, but also your imagination and intent. Otherwise it will be stale."

Motoko nodded. "I get it! It's a thinking-type jutsu, so I have to think!"

Kurenai nodded. "Put that way, I don't know how successful you'll be."

"Ah!" Motoko said. "That's a little unfair, Kurenai-sensei! I may not have much intelligence, but I'm number one at tricking people!"

That was true. "Good point." Kurenai conceded. "So, let's get started. First is Kori Shinchu no Jutsu."

"The 'get-lost-in-woods' one?" Motoko asked.

"Sly Mind Affect Technique." Kurenai repeated, gently correcting her student. "It's not just getting lost in the woods. You cloud the opponent's awareness of their surroundings, by taking advantage of the human tendency to quickly glaze over what someone sees but deems unimportant, and pulling to the front of their mind what you want them to see. You can use it not just to make someone lost, but also to hide your physical presence."

Kurenai held up a finger. "However! Since most jounin-level ninja can sense when they're under this sort of genjutsu, because their self-awareness is high, it will actually alert them to your presence. On your upcoming mission, it's basically useless. But, it's a good starting point."

"The hand seals are. . . ."

Anko's first thought, upon waking, was "Grahumphuhblarg."

After that, she became aware of the fact her head hurt, a pain that was halfway between ache and throb, her throat was dry and cottony, and she didn't recognize the apartment she was in.

Clearly, she was hung over, and was now waking up after a one-night stand.

She remembered Kurenai asking her to look after the jounin's genin team for a whole month. Since she owed the other kunoichi a couple favors, Anko had agreed.

That had brought back memories of her own genin team, and Yakumaru's particularly grotesque allergic reaction to her sensei's Curse Seal.

Wanting to get Orochimaru out of her head, Anko had gone bar crawling. Her memories got continually hazier, so she guessed she'd succeeded in driving that creepy snake bastard out of her head.

And now, she noted with a grimace, that bastard had just left her alone. Whoever he was. Leaving her all alone with a vicious hangover.

Bastard.

Her eyebrow went up when she finally noticed a glass of water next to the futon she'd been sleeping on.

As she greedily sucked it down, she also noticed all the shades and blinds were drawn, keeping the inside of the apartment pleasantly dim.

Thoughtful bastard.

There was a note, too, now that she checked.

Anko-san,

I had to leave to go to work, and I thought you'd probably want to keep sleeping. There's some food in the fridge if you want any. Help yourself.

-Iruka

P.S. You like dumplings, right?

Anko raised an eyebrow as she sauntered into the kitchen. She only knew Iruka from the mission office—he was a stiff-necked bastard. Come to think of it, he taught at the academy too, didn't he?

She pulled open the fridge. He was the kind of guy she hated. Straight-laced, follow-the-rules... the sort that looked down on her because she was Orochimaru's apprentice, way back when.

Not the type to take advantage of a drunk girl, either, if she was going to be honest about it.

And he'd been surprisingly thoughtful. The dumplings in front of her was testament to that.

Anko decided to drop by the Academy and hear his side of it.

But first she went back to the fridge.

"Ano..." Hinata said, looking up from her hands.

"Yes, Hinata?" Kiba said, with forced patience.

"Weren't we supposed to have a substitute sensei today?" The girl asked, shy even for her.

"Yes." Shino curtly reponded.

"Then..." Hinata trailed off, not quite able to finish.

"She's late!" Kiba snarled.

Kurenai was beginning to think she'd created a monster.

Naruto had a talent for genjutsu. And the malicious cleverness to use them well.

After learning Kori Shinchu no Jutsu, Naruto had proceeded to use it on a group of Kage Bunshin. Since they were as incapable of breaking genjutsu as Naruto himself (that would be their next training item), Kurenai had decided to let him test his jutsu on her.

Which was why she was currently lost in the woods of one of Konoha's forested training areas. It seemed Naruto had discovered how to layer genjutsu on top of each other and, in keeping with his penchant for overkill, had layered at least seven different illusions. They were the same jutsu, but subtly different each time. Different enough that they had to be broken separately.

Kurenai broke the eighth one, and bit back a curse. She could still sense that she was under the spell.

"Okay, Naruto, I think you've proved your point." Kurenai said with a grunt. "You can come out now."

"Okay, Kurenai-sensei!" Came the disembodied voice of Mokoto from right behind her.

Kurenai whirled. "Motoko!" She said, surprised. "Where are you?"

The area subtly blurred as several congruent genjutsu were canceled. Kurenai saw that Motoko really was right behind her.

She raised an eyebrow. "Even if you could fool my eyes, I'm surprised that you're capable of defeating my ears and other senses to the extent of sneaking up on me, a jounin."

Naruto grinned, tucking his hands behind his head. Since he was still Motoko, this had a much more lurid effect on her appearance, especially with how that pose bent her spine. "Well... my perception skills aren't very good, but I'm really good at hiding! Hokage-jiji sent some ANBU after me at least once a week at the height of my pranking, so I learned to hide from them."

Kurenai raised her other eyebrow, too. It seemed Naruto's childhood hadn't been as wasted as she'd been led to believe. His taijutsu was still crude, and his knowledge was still abysmal, and his strategy was terrible—but his support skills were surprisingly good and his understanding of shinobi tactics was deep, indeed.

Such a bizarrely misshapen skill set, no wonder he was "number-one at surprising people." There was a lot to be said for that sort of ability. Kurenai drew her eyebrows down, frowning slightly. Come to think of it, she should say it so he'd understand.

"Naruto." She said, seriously.

"Eh?" He responded, the sound incongruous with this body.

"I need to explain something very serious." Kurenai said, "So listen up. You have a good talent for sneaking about. Use it. The foundation of all shinobi arts is deception, and the most fundamental deception is hiding your presence."

Naruto scowled. It was his 'thinking something through' scowl. "That sounds like one of the Shinobi Rules, but I never learned them." He said honestly. "I understand needing to sneak around to get places you're not supposed to be, or do things you're not supposed to do... but what about fighting?"

Kurenai shook her head. "Too many genin become overly concerned with the power to straight-forwardly attack the opponent. An ideal ninja would kill every enemy without any warning or battle. That's why defense is so much harder than offense for a ninja—why an assassination is only a B or A class, while the comparative defense is an A or S class. Hit and run, striking only a few times before the enemy can react, and fading back into hiding—that is a ninja!" Kurenai said empathetically. She'd given variations of this speech a number of times to her own team. Shino had gotten it quickly. Unsurprisingly, Kiba hadn't. It was an unwelcome surprise that Hinata didn't quite understand, either. That aspect of ninja arts was sadly lacking in the Hyuuga training.

Naruto was thinking of his own experience. The talk about assassination versus guardian missions drew his mind back to his own first serious mission.

Momochi Zabuza... Kakashi had described him as "an expert in silent killing." Naruto would never forget that feeling of helpless terror as those thick mists rolled off the lake and Zabuza so easily attacked them. Naruto was only beginning to understand the depths of Kakashi's strength, and Zabuza had so quickly pushed his sensei to his limits by using a simple D-rank skill, the basic technique of the Hidden Mist village.

Naruto experienced a paradigm shift. "Yeah..." He said, slowly. "Yeah, I understand." He thought harder, scrunching up his face. "It seems like... to defeat the opponent, first defeat their senses."

Kurenai blinked. A cunning insight, indeed... better than she could have come up with. "That's exactly right, Naruto!" She warmly praised. "And the obvious corollary is, 'to be undefeatable, have unfoolable senses'..." that segued perfectly into what she wanted to cover next. "So, I'm going to explain how to break genjutsu now..."

Iruka didn't pause in his screaming when he felt a ninja's presence outside the door. He wasn't as close to the Godaime as he was to the Sandaime, and it didn't feel like the Hokage either, who was really the only person he'd interrupt a lecture for.

So he finished screaming at Konohamaru for inattentiveness.

Then he scowled as he set the class to copying down the shinobi rules. He stood over them, staring, as they worked. A little pressure wasn't exactly healthy, but it was important that they get used to it for when they became ninja.

Finally, class ended, and he dismissed them. Then he said, "You can come out now."

Anko slid through the door. Apparently she'd disguised her presence from the students. "Hey." She said, smirking. "I'm surprised you could sense me."

Iruka rolled his eyes. He caught a lot of guff for being the chuunin-sensei, sometimes. "Naruto alone necessitated a good situational awareness. And he wasn't the only deviant little bastard I have to teach."

Anko grinned. "Talking about your students like that, how two-faced."

Iruka gave her a flat stare. "Anko-san," he said, "I'm teaching them how to be shinobi."

"Er, right." Anko said, a little flustered. Most weren't able to turn the tables on her like that. A little more seriously, she continued. "So... what happened last night?"

Iruka shrugged, rubbing his scar. "I was coming home last night and found you passed out in an alley. I didn't want to leave you, and I don't know where you live, so..."

She raised an eyebrow. "That's a suspicious thing to say."

He blushed. "That's not what I meant!"

She sauntered forward, careful to sway her hips. "Umino Iruka... are you blushing over me?" She crowed.

He scowled. Still flustered, it didn't work very well. "Rest assured that I didn't molest you in your sleep. Tempting though your body is."

She felt herself blushing a little bit at that. Iruka having his way with her, when she was too soused to stop him... that was actually kind of hot.

He pressed his advantage. "Besides," he continued dryly, "somehow I doubt you'd want to be the one on the bottom, anyway."

She narrowed her eyes, and slid up against him. "Oh, you shouldn't assume you know what I like, little man."

He blushed more, and stepped back. "Hey, we're still at the academy."

She grinned toothily, eyes narrowed. "Oh, we'll teach those little kids something new and exciting, then. I don't mind being on display."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, but even if I could, I'd refuse."

She froze. "I see." She turned away. She was surprised this sort of rejection still hurt. "I guess I'm not good enough for you, huh?"

"I'd rather not be the rebound, thank you." Iruka retorted.

"...What?" Anko said, her voice turning dangerous.

Iruka ran his hands along his hair. "Anko-san, you drank yourself into a stupor last night over someone, I think. I don't think having casual sex with me is going to help anything."

"It was over Orochimaru." Anko said brittlely, watching him out of the corner of her eye. Everyone was always a little disgusted when she reminded them of that. Usually she hated reminding people of her connection to that traitor, but she wanted to hurt him a little bit.

"Oh." Iruka said. That was it. His eyes didn't even widen or anything. "I forgot about that."

She turned back to him fully now, leveling a disbelieving stare. "What?"

Iruka shifted, uncomfortable. "Well, do you want to talk about it?"

Anko snorted. "And what would you know, huh? How could you understand?"

Iruka shrugged. "Mostly, I'd just say that Orochimaru is Orochimaru, and he left the village. However, Anko-san is Anko-san, and stayed."

"He left me behind, he tossed me aside." Anko said, bitter. It still stung.

"Good." Iruka said. When she snapped her eyes up, he shrugged uncomfortably. "That guy's a crazy bastard. You're better off without him, I think."

Anko considered him for a moment. "You're pretty unbelievable, you know that?" She said. Then she smiled. "Take me out to dinner tonight."

Iruka shifted uncomfortably. "I can't." He admitted. He hastened to explain, to temper the rejection. Heavens knew Anko had had enough of that. "I'm having a couple friends over, but..."

Anko frowned sourly. "Well, in that case, I'll join you, and we'll go out somewhere afterwards, okay?" And then she smiled again, full-blown this time, and jumped out the window. "See ya!" She shouted, almost giggly, and left.

Iruka groaned. Explaining this to Kurenai and Na-... Motoko would be difficult.

"I'm really taking a chance on this, here." Kurenai said. "Loaning out technique scrolls to someone at a too-low rank is a violation of village security measures."

"You can trust me 100 percent!" Motoko responded, before coming closer to whisper conspiratorially. "Besides, baachan could make that kind of trouble go away."

Kurenai shrugged. "I'd rather she didn't have to. Just, don't let you anyone see what you have, okay?" And then, Kurenai grew a serious look. "Besides that, these are my personal collection of illusion techniques. If you lose them, I'll get... angry."

Motoko shivered involuntarily. "Sir, yes sir!" She responded.

"Good." Kurenai said. "Now, I'm going to go get ready for dinner." And with that, the jounin leapt up onto the roof and sped away.

"But we're eating with Iruka in two hours..." Motoko said, confused, and then shrugged. Whatever! It's not like Naruto understood girls, anyway. Carefully, Motoko tucked the valuable technique scrolls into her backpack, and strode down the street.

"Hey." A familiar voice called from her side. Motoko turned, and raised an eyebrow. There was Kakashi, dragging along Sasuke, who was studiously looking the other way.

"Do I know you?" Motoko said politely.

"Probably not. My name's Kakashi." The jounin replied easily. "This is Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke." The jounin said, jerking a thumb at his student.

"That's nice." Motoko said coolly, turning to walk away. She wasn't comfortable associating with Kakashi. He could too easily suspect something. Better to avoid them. With that, Motoko walked away.

"Maa, maa." Kakashi said. "What's with the cold shoulder? Why didn't you even introduce yourself, in return?"

"She clearly doesn't like you, Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke said, "So, why don't you leave her alone." He desperately wanted to avoid this. At least, he didn't want Kakashi here. No! He didn't want to interact with the girl... right?

"It's nothing personal." Motoko responded, turning to face them. "But, I don't like perverts."

"Eh?" Kakashi said, surprised. "What makes you think that?"

Wordlessly Motoko pointed at his left hand. Kakashi looked down. "Oh, that." He said, with a chuckle. "Yeah, I guess." He had his copy of Ichaicha Paradise in his left hand, like he did most of the time.

"She has you nailed, sensei." Sasuke said, unable to resist a jab of his own.

"Don't say it like you aren't also a pervert." Motoko said.

"Eh?" Sasuke said, whipping his head around to Motoko.

Motoko rolled her eyes. "Please. You're that guy's student," she said, pointing at Kakashi and ignoring the jounin's muffled protest, "And anyways, I've seen the way you string all those girls along." She turned back, muttering to herself. "Creepy Bastard."

"Hey!" Sasuke said. "That's not true!"

Kakashi silently disappeared. No way Sasuke would let up, now. 'Mission accomplished,' he thought to himself.

"Oh?" Motoko said slyly. This was the perfect revenge! Naruto thought to himself. He was a genius. "Acting so cool..." she said, sauntering up to poke him in the chest. "You're trying to get them interested in you. Admit it."

"I am not!" Sasuke exploded. "They're just a bunch of lame girls! I don't get what they like about me, and I wouldn't care even if I did!"

"Psh." Motoko said, rolling her eyes. "Just words, little boy."

"I'm not a little boy." Sasuke said, crossing his arms and looking away.

"Well then, why don't you show me what a man you are?" Motoko said, soft and sultry, leaning in against him.

"Urch." Sasuke said, swallowing.

Motoko laughed, and Sasuke could help blushing. She was disheveled, and sweaty, and her hair was limp, and it was obviously from training. Sasuke liked that. And she was cute, and so confident.

Then she shoved him, and he pinwheeled a bit before falling down. She winked. "Maybe once you're a little older, I'll make you into a man then, Sasuke-kun."

His cheeks heated up as she walked away. For a moment his attention was drawn to the sway of her hips and then he shook himself, and stood up. "Wait!" He called out to her.

She turned, and arched an eyebrow. "What?" she said.

"What's your name, at least?"

She grinned, and called back. "Motoko's my name, but you can call me Motoko-chan." She winked saucily, and Sasuke could feel his cheeks getting even redder, as the girl bounded off.

"Motoko-chan, huh?" He said, with a raised eyebrow.

Anko hummed to herself as she bounced along. Someone else was cooking her dinner tonight! Also, she was going to take Iruka out for some fun, and see where that went. She had some high hopes for this one.

She was nearly home when she noticed three genin hanging out, looking totally bored, on the roof of a nearby building. They looked familiar.

That's it! They were Kurenai's students. Curiosity satisfied, Anko got ready to hop off again, when she stopped. Kurenai's students... and Anko had promised to teach them for a month or so. Starting three hours ago.

With a silent curse, Anko disappeared, and reappeared among them in a puff on ninja smoke.

"Hey." She said. "Sorry I'm late, but I was really hung over, and then I had to flirt with Iruka."

Kiba groaned. "That was even worse than all the stories Naruto tells about Kakashi's excuses."

"Hey!" Anko shouted, pointing a finger. "Don't compare me to that lame guy!"

"What!" Kiba snarled back. "You're not only lying, but it's a lame lie!" He leaned forward. "Saying such a ridiculous thing!"

"Ano..." Hinata said, hesitantly.

Anko leaned in, herself. "I don't know who you think you are, puppy, but I'll have to discipline you if you keep shouting your yap off!"

Kiba snapped. "I'd like to see you try, you old hag!"

"HAG?" Anko shrieked. "I'll show you hag, you mangy inbred little mutt!"

"Oh yeah, you floozy?" Kiba shot back. "Why don't you just-"

"Excuse me." Shino said. He flinched when they both turned their glares on him. He'd forgotten how scary this Naruto-like kunoichi could be. "Are you the substitute sensei that Kurenai arranged for us?"

Anko, her anger forgotten, laughed, throwing her head back. "That's right!"

Kiba inched backwards as her laughter slowly morphed into a malicious cackle.

"And the first order of business," She sneered. "Is stamina training. So..." She twirled a kunai around her finger. "Start running around the village!" She shouted, and threw some knives when they hesitated. They took off, and she followed, still cackling, still throwing kunai to 'motivate' them.

"Yo." Kakashi said as he appeared in the Hokage's office.

He promptly dodged the chair that rocketed forward, and it smashed into and through the wall behind him.

Acting like she hadn't just tried to kill him, the Hokage raised her gaze. "Kakashi. And only an hour and a half late."

Kakashi shrugged uncomfortably.

"Anyway," the hokage said frostily, "I just wanted to let you know that Naruto's going to be out of town with Jiraiya for a couple weeks, so don't be surprised that he's not around."

Kakashi made a sympathetic noise, but inwardly he felt a little squirm of guilt. He hadn't even noticed that Naruto hadn't been around for three days... not since he'd had to ask the orange genin to leave him and Sasuke alone during some Sharingan training.

"That's good." Kakashi said.

"Mmm." Tsunade said. "So, how's Sasuke doing?"

"He's... okay." Kakashi slowly responded. "He's throwing himself into training, but I get the impression it's to surpass Naruto, now. Losing at the Valley of the End... really shook up his confidence, and he'd already felt left behind."

Tsunade made a disgusted little noise. "Comparing himself to jinchuuriki, naturally he's not as powerful... regardless of whatever bloodline abilities he has."

Kakashi just shrugged. "It's not like he knows."

Tsunade sighed. "Well, is that it, then?"

Kakashi grinned a little bit. "Actually, he's been hitting it off with a girl. A few years older, and a chuunin, to boot."

"Really." Tsunade said, eyebrow raised. She hadn't guessed he'd be the type to be interested in girls, but apparently she was wrong.

"Yeah," the jounin said with a chuckle, "she really had him flustered. I watched them for a while after they thought I left." He paused. "Her name is Motoko." He said, clearly fishing for information, and just as clearly asking tacitly if they should be allowed to continue. Sasuke had a lot of baggage, beyond most ninja, and was ill-equipped to deal with it. Or with girls.

Tsunade had a very wonderful, very cruel idea.

"I see." Tsunade said quietly. "That girl was recently promoted to chuunin and is beginning specialist training in genjutsu. Also," Tsunade paused, and then added gravely, "she'd be good for Sasuke."

Kakashi's eye widened, then went slack again. That was tantamount to an implicit order to hook them up. He wasn't really looking forward to this, but they had enough naturally chemistry that he (hopefully) wouldn't have to do much.

"If you think so, Hokage-sama." He murmured, and then he disappeared again.

Tsunade waited until he was truly gone before throwing back her head and cackling. She couldn't wait to see Naruto's face when this prank came to fruition.

Outside, Shizune worriedly looked at the door of the Hokage's office. She recognized that cackle, it was always Tsunade's laugh when a hair-brained scheme was cooked up.

And Shizune couldn't talk her out of those, anymore. With a sigh, she slumped forward. What to do, what to do?

Maybe Iruka could help. He had surprising tact, and Shizune had been impressed by his ability to control the Hokage's wilder schemes in the mission office.

She nodded decisively. She understood that Iruka was having Naruto and Kurenai over for dinner to talk about the mission. She hoped they wouldn't mind her showing up, but she could take a minute and Iruka would understand the necessity of derailing whatever scheme the Hokage had in mind.

Plus, she'd be able to eat good home-cooking for once, instead of take-out.

Dinner at an Aburame house is a surreal affair. Since the Destruction Bugs stymied the growth of the digestive organs in order to provide themselves more room in the body cavity, a typical Aburame had an extremely inefficient stomach, and short intestines. They could eat like a normal human, but for nutrition their symbiotic bugs regurgitated food directly into their small intestine.

This meant when an Aburame "eats" they just sort of sit quietly, without moving much, and their bugs swarm all over a plate of nutritive paste. It looks kind of like thoroughly mashed dog food, mixed with a little water.

They still eat as family, to have "family togetherness" time, but they don't actually do anything.

Dinner at an Aburame house involves a lot of motionless sitting. And staring.

Today, however, Shino had something to say. "Father," he said.

"Yes?" His dad responded.

"Kurenai-sensei will be busy this month. She arranged for a substitute instructor." Shino said.

His father patiently waited for his son to finish. A rhetorical question would be an interruption, not an affirmation that he was listening.

"Mitarashi Anko." Shino finished.

His father sat, pondering that for a moment. "That woman," he finally said, "is a total babe."

"Yes." Shino agreed.

The conversation was over.