Zeneille

Everyone had their own ideals about love. For example, Sora believed that ‘love’ was an emotion that reminded her of pain and fear. With an afflicting past engraved in her mind, Sora accepted the fact that she was inept to feel it. However, when she stumbled upon her office colleague — Shou — who was in an absolute mess after he proclaimed his eight-years of unrequited love to his childhood friend after a party, Sora felt her heart momentarily warmed. 

   She wanted nothing to do with his problems. But Sora couldn't help herself but to marvel at his dedication and sincerity. If love could certainly be like that despite the agony and sadness,  she decided that she wanted it all to herself. 

   But Sora had to know that the ones that loved the most were always the farthest to reach and Shou was definitely farther than anyone else than what he seemed.

Moon on Water

	It always occur when something beautiful turns against you.


	Our bodies sprawl under the vast, starry skies that stretch dimly throughout the world and yet I can only see you. My chest ascends and descends in a quick pace as you close the gap between us. I can feel your breath, your skin and your body press on mine. We stay silent while the intense atmosphere drop on me by the thousandth of seconds you ignore this —this, whatever this is. I want to raise my hopes that this means something more than what I think — something more than what you don't know. Because for years of holding onto you, I feel hopeless when you're like this. You never speak of what you think about me nor what I am to you. But little do you know that I am aware that whenever I look at you, you are looking at him. 


	You watch him with a strong desire, although mine never left yours. You wear a vague expression in your face; your slender lips turn upward whenever he laughs but your eyes look strangely blank. If only you can see me, if only you can spare a glance — you will be unconditionally loved.


	But it seems relentless. It anchors me down and I can't lift myself up when you pretend to be blind. I'm not stupid — we're not stupid and we both know that. All I need is an answer. Maybe, a chance to love you openly without having to hide it. I want to treasure you and love you. Even if it hurts, even if it's only just me between us — can I ask for something as petty as that?


	"Hitomi," my voice breaks the stillness between us and my lips turn upwards from an unexpected bliss. "I have to tell you something–"


	It always occur when something beautiful turns against you. My voice falters from the shame and pain that came with your words. We both decide to keep the silence stretch between us, leaving a huge cavity with our doubts and unruly minds. You respond to me with the decision you abruptly think to be right momentarily for the question that I incessantly carry for a decade — that the resolution you choose to follow is the option where you shelter yourself and your hopeless feelings for him. 


	I smile bitterly to myself as I hoist myself up to face you, "You should've forgotten him."


   Hitomi sadly smiles at me and in that moment, I find myself stopping the urge to let my tears fall. "Shou, you understand, don't you?"


   "It's not because we choose to love someone we can't have," you continue as you reach out to touch my face. "It's because we choose to love someone we need."


   "You had me but you don't need me, Shou."


00 | Resurfaced Memories