Chapter 1

Somewhere between trying out new things.

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It was a rainy morning. I'm wasting my time. I got nothing to do. Naisipan kong  magligpit ng mga kalat at bumihis ng pang gala na damit. I go out, even though it is raining heavily. While walking down the street and looking for couples sharing umbrellas, it was so romantic. Suddenly something came to my mind. It was like I had experienced it before. But I can't remember. There are also people who are wandering around, as I am today. A loner getting drenched in the rain. Suddenly my phone rang. Maybe it was my older brother. I ignored it.

Until I got to a mini store. I went inside to buy some food. It was getting worse outside. I want to go home. I hurried to the counter and paid for the purchase. It was as heavy as I felt. Someone staring at me. I looked behind but no one was there. I just took my picks and went out. Whatever that is, I don't know what to do. I was running fast, soaked in rain and mud. I know someone is following me and I am really scared. It's a bit dark, so I can't really see the faces of the people I meet. Suddenly someone turned my arm.

" Anong kailangan mo?" sigaw ko sa kanya.

" Can I talk to you? Yung mahinahon at tayong dalawa lang." Alam kung ano ang balak niya.

" Kinakausap mo na ako at ayoko ko" galit na sabi ko sa pagmumukha niya.

"Please naman, nakikiusap ako"

"Hindi! Manloloko ka!"

"I was supposed to be nice, pero ano? Hindi muko pinapakinggan ha. Okay fine! Wala na akong pake kung anong mangyari sa kuya mo! Tutal break naman kami". Sabi niya ng naka ngisi.

"Walang hiya ka! Umalis kana! Di ka kailangan ni kuya, manloloko ka!". galit kung sigaw sa kanya.

" Mga baliw! " sigaw niya papa-layo.

"Don't show up, you beast!" I was disgusted by the look and the origins of that woman.

When I came home. I locked the door and entered the room easily to get dressed. After that, I thought about watching a movie. I also get to eat what I buy. I just can't imagine what happened before. As I concentrate on watching.

All of a sudden, I was startled by the shock and fear of hearing the devastation of something big outside the house. I got up to hold my phone and decided to go to the door despite trembling. I was holding the doorknob suddenly and my phone rang. I shuddered to examine the flesh and spit out some feathers. Next came a picture of a man lying on the floor. The face looks familiar. It's like, brother - no. This can't be happening.

I was breathing so fast, I could not understand what was happening. I was shocked when someone knocked on the door. I would have easily adjusted myself and would have done the doorknob. When the door suddenly opened, I was ready to fight whoever it was. I was waiting for someone to come in but I was pleasantly surprised to see my brother lying down. I do not know what to do, that will make me angry. I would love to ask for help but I can't open my mouth. I could only see my older brother getting drunk. I chuckled if he was still conscious and thankful to be still.

"Kuya, gumising po kayo. Sa kwarto na po kayo matulog, wag dito sa pintuan."sabi ko sa kanya na kalmado. Hindi ko pinapahalata na natatakot na ako. Nakakawindang, kung ano na ang nangyari eh.

"Kuya, gising muna"

"Hmm"

"Ano ba kuya? Dito kana lang matutulog? Iiwan talaga kita dito sa labas ng pintuan."

Hays, pasaway talaga itong ungas. Kung saan-saan sumusuot, naglulong sa alak at gabe na kung uuwi. Nagawa mo pang magsend ng picture na nakahandusay, akala ko naman kung ano na. Napakakulit mo talaga kuya.

" Kuya, matutulog na po ako"

Agad siyang bumangon sa pagkahiga at naglakad ng lasing pamunta sa sala.

"Dito na aakoo  hik matulog sa sofa"

"Kuya, kumain ka muna."

" Tapos na hik"

"Sige kuya, magpahinga na po kayo"

Hays, does that mean that he's just drunk everyday and sending me his drunken picture.

"Kuya, crying yourself to live everyday, isn't love. Complaining about what she does, isn't love, brother."

I put him on a blanket, before leaving the living room. I went to the bedroom and started to sleep. I had been staring at the ceiling for several hours, but I had never been drowsy. I can't help but wonder why my brother is so mean. I don't want him to decide first. He knew what to do, what was right and what was wrong. I remember that moment, her enthusiasm for talking. He is publicly and privately happy. Then suddenly, that was him suffering in silence now.

Suddenly, a flashbacks  of his girlfriend's cheating. Wrapped up with another man, after my brother gave her an allowance to study. She was a big cheater and a traitor. It pains me to see him crying and devastated by love. Shet, if I've trained in martial arts. I really did hurt her but I am still weak. At the end of the day, I hope he will find an acceptance.

Luh, mag-alas dos na, shet' self matulog kana please. May practical exam kapa bukas.

Sinubukan kung pumikit baka sakali, dapuan ako ng antok. Marami akong gagawin bukas, maraming ire-review at kailangang e-edit na documents.

Kailangan ko nang matulog, ayoko kung magmukhang timang bukas. Sagad na ako sa depression dito sa bahay. Parati nalang sumasakit ang ulo ko sa mga nangyayare.

Ayoko kung magmukhang down sa harap ni kuya, lalo na't siya na lang ang natira sa akin. Gusto kung mapasaya ang kapatid ko, kaya ayoko kung nakikitang nahihirapan siya mag-isa. Kung pwede sana ako na lang yung sobrang nasasaktan. Kaya lang hindi parin ako enough para akuin ang sakit.

Tomorrow is another day to start a new life.

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•pluviarry