Chapter 5

After two hours of talking, that Emperor finally left and allowed Ah Zhen to relax. I help the maids reheat the water for Ah Zhen's bath and also assisted with setting out clothes for her. I then head back to the kitchen to reheat the food that was left out on the table previously. Even though the maids did not ask for my help, I could not allow them to do it alone.

Since entering this household the servants were already in their prime. Now, after so many years, they are no longer as strong as they used to be. Ah Zhen has often asked if the servants would like to return home and even offered a large sum of money to help them later in life. But these servants were loyal to Ah Zhen and Grandfather Meng. Especially since Grandfather Meng passed away last year, none of them were willing to leave. They did not want to leave Ah Zhen alone and so Ah Zhen never forced them. I, myself, view the servants more like uncles and aunties and they love me as such too. Due to the simple way we live it's not hard to do a few chores here and there.

While putting the food back on the table, I smelled the scent of incense. Peeking into the next room I see Ah Zhen dressed in her more comfortable clothes. Her hands held onto three incense while her eyes were closed. She was standing before the alter of where Grandfather Meng's tablet was among other tablets of family members. I often wonder what she's saying to Grandfather Meng at times like this. When Grandfather Meng was still alive Ah Zhen and I would always go see him before heading off to bed. The things Grandfather Meng asked were always the same. Are you doing well in the military camp? Are you eating well? Make sure to look after your health, alright? Perhaps Ah Zhen are answering these questions again in her head.

Since Grandfather Meng's death, Ah Zhen would come see his alter nightly like this when she can. It's now become a routine that everyone in the house knew of. I also felt at peace seeing this as it feels Grandfather Meng has not really left. It seems like only yesterday that I was holding his arm in the garden; showing him the spring flowers. Grandfather Meng always say that I should not compare myself to the flowers because I was much more beautiful and pure. I still miss it when he would call me his little daughter-in-law and pat my head.

Ah Zhen put the incense in the ash pot and heads over to the dining room where I was. I saw down with her as usual and watch her eat. "If that Emperor didn't come, you wouldn't have to eat this late," I whined.

Putting a scoop of rice into her mouth, Ah Zhen lightly laughed. "Shou Yi was also worried about my return just like you. He only came over to make sure I was okay. It's okay if I eat late, I actually wanted to spend some time with him."

Wanted spending time with him? That was something that has been worrying me for some time now. Since Grandfather Meng's death Ah Zhen has not revealed her real gender to anyone. Part of me is delighted to see she has not yet, but when she does will I lose her to that Emperor? "Ah Zhen…you and the Emperor…seem more close that usual," I mumbled.

Ah Zhen stops eating and looks at me a little confused. Slowly her face relaxes as she starts to understand the meaning behind my words. "I know Shou Yi cares for me a lot, but I don't think I would be able to return those feelings. Being where I am now has its advantages and I think it's better that way." My heart starts to ease up a little seeing that Ah Zhen does not seem to want to change yet.

"But Xin Yi, you are of age now, maybe you would be a good mate for Shou Yi. I'm sure he would not treat you badly," Ah Zhen unexpectedly suggested. "He's been my friend for many years as have you. Based on personalities I would say you two are quite compatible."

I was taken aback, I did not think she would make such an offer. Even though I never openly told her my own feelings, I would have thought she knew a little bit. I swallow my disappointment and replied, "Like you I like where I am now. Also, I don't think I would like to stay in the palace having to compete for the Emperor's attention. Just being here with you is good enough for me."

Ah Zhen nods her head showing that she understood. "As you wish then," she said as she starts to pick up the food again. I continue to watch and think about how nice it is to just have moments like this. I would never give it up to become a phoenix in the palace.