Katsuki Panics

Katsuki inwardly beat himself up as soon he blurted out that Izuku had a Soulmate Quirk. It didn't seem like something Izuku was keen about sharing. He didn't know why, but he knew that such a Quirk was unheard of.

Katsuki had combed through various reports about Quirks, both reported officially and unofficially, but he'd never heard of a similar Quirk manifesting. If they did, they didn't have any information on it. Those were a long ten months that he'd spent in a sort of frenzy, looking for anything that might have helped him find Izuku.

The blonde grit his teeth before powering through, casting aside any future repercussions for later thoughts. Right now, the most immediate worry was that Izuku was still passed out. Their teacher was Eraserhead. This little fact only seemed to increase his stress levels even more. His Quirk of cancelling other Quirks ended as he blinked, but why was Izuku still passed out?

This was quite literally uncharted territory. Mutant, Emitter and Transformation type Quirks were the three categories that existed currently. Erasure affected both Emitter and Transformation type Quirks, but not Mutants. A Soulmate Quirk didn't fall under any of these. When he flipped through Izuku's books in the study, his ancestors seemed to classify their Quirk as a manifestation of the Soul. Since it was always in effect, awake or asleep, they classified it as a Passive Quirk.

Katsuki was inclined to agree.

The blonde teen bit the inside of his cheek. He felt both terrified and worried. And guilty. You can't forget the guilt. His mind kept replaying the scene of Izuku throwing wild eyes at him, his eyes filled with a deep terror and panic as he reached out towards him before collapsing.

Nails dug into flesh, drawing blood from how hard he was pressing down. He felt useless. He wasn't even the one to catch him when he fell. Instead, it was their teacher. Katsuki felt his eyes burn. He'd swore he would be the one to protect Izuku, but…

Katsuki was startled out of the depressive spiral he had trapped himself in as a slight pain appeared on his cheek. His eyes followed Aizawa's fingers as they retreated.

"Snap out of it, kid. Explain more. We can't help him unless we have all the details."

Aizawa looked emotionless, but Katsuki could somehow feel the underlying stress that the teacher was going through. Katsuki absentmindedly laughed that maybe being around Izuku all the time these days had rubbed off on him more than he thought even if he didn't have Izuku's Quirk. He inwardly shook himself out of it. Right. Now wasn't the time to reflect. He had to help Izuku first. He could beat himself up later. When he knew Izuku was safe.

"He –" Katsuki stumbled over his words, still haunted by a feeling that he was betraying Izuku's trust. He struggled to get the words out. "I – he told me that his Quirk was a manifestation of his Soul. That's why they call it a Soulmate Quirk. He inherited his Quirk since it passes down through bloodline. The Quirks are all identical. It manifests whenever they're first kissed directly on the lips. Basically, they fall in love with that person irreversibly."

Aizawa and Recovery Girl were silent as they digested the information. If this was true, then they had no relevant information. They had no way to ascertain whether there would be any lasting damage to Midoriya before he woke up, if he would wake up, to confirm their theories.

Wisely, they didn't say anything. The blonde already looked highly stressed out. They would cross that bridge when they got there.

Katsuki fixed worried eyes on his boyfriend as he silently ran through the implications of having his Quirk erased for a short period of time might do to him. Would it harm him permanently? Would it just return to normal without further complications?

"Did Midoriya already kiss someone?" Aizawa asked aloud. Even he himself wasn't sure whether he wanted that answer to be a positive or a negative.

Katuski nodded silently, his eyes still locked on Izuku's still form. Seeing Izuku like this was giving him flashbacks. He felt vaguely ill. He wasn't quite able to bring himself to voice it out loud. It still felt a bit like a dream these days. Like it hadn't quite sunk in. It hadn't helped that Izuku had disappeared for so long after his short stint in the hospital. It felt like speaking about it out loud would break whatever magic that had appeared in his life now. It still felt like a dream that Izuku had survived some days.

But then, Izuku was so fucking still on the bed.

"Who?"

It was surprising how that single word managed to drive a stake through Katsuki's chest. It felt like an accusation and an admonishment all at once. That's right. Izuku should have someone else. Someone better. Someone who would be able to cherish him and love him, that had never picked on him cruelly, that had never crushed his feelings under the sole of his foot. Someone who would treat him how he deserved to be treated.

His breaths were coming faster now.

"Bakugou. Bakugou. Kid," Aizawa lightly patted him on the shoulder, trying to snap him out of it. He blocked Bakugou's line of sight using his body. "Calm down. Don't panic. You aren't helping him by panicking. If you can't, we'll have to ask you to vacate the room if your emotions are affecting your judgement."

"No!" Katsuki snapped out of it. It felt like cold water had been poured over him. He gripped Aizawa's forearm subconsciously.

Aizawa felt Bakugou's fingers twitch on his forearm, belaying his distress at the turn of events.

"Me. It's me," he grit out, not quite comfortable with two virtual strangers knowing about something so private to them. He made sure his words were said without a stutter. He knew he wouldn't be able to forgive himself in the future if he couldn't say this without faltering.

The teacher and nurse exchanged a glance. This was bad. It was worse than they thought. Should they get him to leave? He was obviously compromised, and they weren't sure if his information would be accurate. But he was their only source of information. This couldn't be good for his mental state.

Recovery Girl tried to break it to him gently. "Since this is unprecedented, there's no telling what might have happened to the Soul bond. It's entirely possible that the bond might be broken, or it could have just stretched a little and snapped back in place after Erasure was cancelled. Since Erasure can't erase underlying Quirks, its unlikely that his Quirk is gone." She paused, not quite sure how to continue without breaking the blonde.

"It's possible that his bond with you might be gone. So, you have to prepare yourself for when he wakes up. He might still be in love with you, but its also possible that he might not anymore."

Katsuki paled as the implications that had previously escaped him hit all at once. No. No, no, no. His heart was pounding a frantic rhythm in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He. Izuku. Might not love him anymore?

The blood completely drained from his face. He felt a round of tears build up in his eyes. Would… would Izuku still have his bond with him? He choked, collapsing next to Izuku's. He groped for Izuku's hand. It felt clammy and cold.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Katsuki couldn't quite bring himself to react as he usually did. He didn't shrug the hand off, nor swear at the teacher. He detachedly sneered at himself inwardly for needing reassurance like some pathetic kid.

He pressed his face into Izuku's hand. He felt a few stray tears escape. He had just been thinking about how Izuku should have someone who would have him as a priority, that would cherish him for what he was worth and would be there every step of the way. Would he stop that if the bond was really gone? Would he really be that selfish?

A sob escaped. He didn't even know if he loved Izuku. He knew he liked him, but he also knew there was no plausible way that his emotions even matched up to an iota of Izuku's love.

Izuku deserved the world, and Katsuki…Katsuki couldn't give it to him.

His breath caught in his lungs. His eyes were burning. Would he really have to let Izuku go? Izuku had never been the one to initiate the kiss. He had never voluntarily subjected himself to his Quirk. A fresh wave of tears broke out. Izuku probably wouldn't even love him, even if he wasn't under the influence of his Quirk. His teeth were chattering, making obnoxiously loud sounds in the silence of the room. Katsuki grit his teeth, trying to hold it in.

Izuku's hand twitched, causing him to make unpleasant connections to how he had been in a similar state just ten months prior. His breath caught for a different reason. He felt conflicted. He felt such a huge amount of relief that Izuku was waking up, but he was also filled with terror.

He wasn't ready.

He wasn't ready to let Izuku go. But he should. He should be free to love whomever he chooses. Shouldn't he? He was chaining down Izuku for his own selfish desires when he didn't even know if he loved Izuku.

Katsuki's heart trembled.

He should let Izuku go.