Shock and Delight

Arei's eyes widened as her tight pull against the backs of his legs knocked him off balance. The quick withdraw of his fingers from her caused her to gasp against his lips. His hands landed on either side of her, hard onto the desk knocking over various items. Though he tried to fight it... tried to shift away from her, the tight hold she had against his knees made it impossible. He could feel her wet folds as she moved against the barred shaft of his dick. Her hand pumped in rhythm with her hips as she ground into him. "Fuck, kitten!" He called out as he tried to stop the oncoming orgasm that threatened to shoot his seed dangerously close to her entrance... an entrance his body begged him to bury inside of. "Wait!" He tried to warn her, but she only worked her hand and groin harder against him. When her head fell back and she cried out her own release, he couldn't hold back any longer. His cock jerked rebelliously against her tight hold, spilling out its seed all over the black lace of her panties that were only currently covering the upper portion of her mound. He huffed as he forced his arms to support his weight. That had been dangerously close... he had come dangerously close to shoving deep inside her and emptying there... consequences be damned. The eyes he'd been holding tightly closed landed on her heaving chest the second they parted. She was now sprawled out across the desk, the radiant glow of fulfillment brightening her completion. He shook his head as he forced himself into a standing position. "Let's get you cleaned up..." He said with a gruff pant as he put his own clothes back into place.

Jos forced her wobbly arms under her for support as she worked to push back into a sitting position. Her brows furrowed when they landed on Arei. He had sat back down into the office seat, his hands rubbed at his temples on either side of his head. She couldn't see much of his face, but the rigid muscles of his body were enough to tell her he was upset. She slid off the desk not bothering to adjust her dress as she made her way over to him. She studied his tense body as she placed her hands over his and pushed them away from his face. "You're mad..."

He shook his head as his turbulent gaze held hers. "I'm not mad... just irritated... I'm trying to give you what you want, but you're making that incredibly hard for me..." He lowered his face back into his waiting palms. Shaking his head against his own grip, he continued. "We can't continue like this... You don't understand what it would mean if we had a slip-up and after your little stunt, it's only a matter of time..." He ground his teeth in frustration as he continued rubbing his temples. "I let you overstep all my boundaries the first time we were together because you were so new to things." He shook his head. "You're not the same innocent person anymore, Jos. Those things are not ok in a healthy relationship." His head lifted and he instantly regretted his wording the second his eyes met hers. Tears were spilling silently down her cheeks causing the already passion-smudged makeup to run worse. He shot up from the seat, but as he reached out for her, she quickly turned away pushing his hands as she did.

"No, don't touch me!" She cried out angrily as she stumbled toward the door.

"Jos, stop. Come back here!" He growled out an irritated huff. "I didn't mean it... quite like that..." He murmured the last part. He had meant it exactly the way he'd said it, but he hadn't meant to deliver it quite as harshly. She didn't slow at all as she made her way to the wide doors. "Joslyn, stop!" He growled out. His gruffer tone had her stopping in her tracks but still not turning. "We are going to talk about this and come to an understanding before we leave this room." He said in a stern but level voice. He covered the space between them in six wide strides. He rested one palm against the door blocking her from bolting from the room before he had a chance to say what he needed to say. He lifted her chin up so that her angry, tear-filled eyes met his stern gaze. "You know well what you did just now. I've only asked two things of this relationship; trust and honesty, and no children... and you're already breaking one of those and damn near the other by doing what you did." He shook his head. "I can't trust you in continuing as we have been. Tell me exactly what it is you are wanting and why... Are you aware that you're trying to use sex as a coping mechanism. I can't be that for you, I refuse to be that for you. I want our first time together after all this time to mean something." He searched her eyes, finding that the anger had receded but was now replaced with confusion. He bent and rested his forehead against hers. "I love you... but... am I not enough?" He could feel his own emotions begin to break the fragile restraints he was holding them back by.

More tears streamed down her face as she nodded her head, "You're right..." Bringing her trembling hands up to cup his devastatingly handsome face, she whispered. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to do something to make you feel that way... I wasn't thinking... I... lost control." Her voice broke with new emotions as she murmured. "You are enough..." She turned her head away in embarrassment as she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry."

Arei released his hold on her face and circled both his arms around her pulling her tightly against his chest. "I don't want to lose you and I definitely don't want to cause you any more undue pain. If I thought burying to the hilt inside you would be the right thing to do right now, I would. But I believe you're confusing need for me for the need for emotional support." He placed a kiss on the top of her head as he hugged her a bit tighter. "Besides, I'm partially to blame myself. I should have exhibited more control myself just now. Holding back has been... difficult... to say the least." He held her out at arm's length fully taking in her disheveled appearance. "Let's get you cleaned up and we can discuss this more..."

Jos nodded, her disheveled state completely forgotten. A heavy frown settled over her expression as she turned away in embarrassment. She felt like a sorned child... or puppy... A large hand caught her chin once again bringing her face up to meet his.

He searched her tear-stained face noting the harsh knitting of her brows and slight pucker of her bottom lip. "What is it, kitten? We're here to talk, remember. It shouldn't be a one-sided thing. If you have something to say, say it." He released her face and took her hand as he backed toward the small leather loveseat in the corner of the office. He sat, tugging her down with him. "Don't hold back, tell me what's on your mind. Let's work through this. I've told you what I don't want, now tell me what you absolutely need. You've said you're ok with going about this slowly, but then you all but shove me inside you." He reached out and stroked her heated cheek before tugging her face back around to meet his. Her contemplative gaze searched him for several long minutes before, he finally added. "This is a safe space, I'm not going to get angry if you say something I don't agree with. I'm plenty old enough to control my emotions and have a civilized discussion about these things." He released her face and took both her hands in his. He stroked his thumbs across the tops of her hands soothingly as he waited for her reply.

"It's just..." She bit back her words as she pressed her lips together painfully. She moved her focus to their hands. "It's just that, as I said before, I doubt I can even get pregnant... it's still no excuse for trying to force... things... but still I don't understand why it's such a big deal to you." She could feel the heat of her cheeks spread up her neck to her ears. She tried to tug her hands away from his knowing her palms were beginning to sweat, but he wouldn't release his hold. She shot a glance toward him. He wasn't saying anything, his expression almost stoic as he waited for her to continue. She puffed out a breath. "That sounded stupid even as I was saying it... I guess what I meant is, I know you want me as much as I want you... I don't understand why you are setting limits on what we can and can't do."

"We wouldn't be doing as much as we are doing now if it wasn't something you were willing to walk away from me so readily over." Arei replied matter-of-factly.

Jos frowned her brows pressing together in frustration. "I wasn't going to leave you, leave you... I just..." She wanted to scream her irritation at the calm giant beside her. His coolness was only adding to her irritation. She let out a reluctant sigh. "I know, hearing you say it, what I'm doing is irrational and borderline childish... but..." Her brows pushed together in angry frustration. "Damnit, I want more. You are it for me. Everything I want, everything I've been missing. Is it such a horrible thought that one day..." She shrugged as she focused on their hands again. "One day we get married and have a baby, I don't see the difference between adopting or having one. It would still be ours; it would still have to go through the hells of having messed up demigod parents."

He huffed out an exasperated breath. "I've had three vasectomies over the years... they don't seem to... take... Too bad my entire body can't heal as effectively..." He murmured in added irritation.

Her brows shot up in surprise at his sudden confession. "You've tried to sterilize yourself?! You're that against having children?"

He let out a heavy sigh. "Yes, I am... I have always been discouraged by the idea, but after what has happened to my siblings over the years and between you and me the first time around, I was even more convinced than ever that my world would be no place for a child... and I could never allow an innocent child to endure what it is to be a child or grandchild of one of the main three."

Jos frowned, "It's not that I doubt your words or intentions... but what do you mean? You've said that to me before..."

Arei nodded. "I mean being the titan children of Poseidon isn't without its hardships and for their children it's worse... as for my childhood and the finer details I'll leave it for another time. I'd much rather you read it and allow me to answer questions as you go. Right now, all you need to know is there is a reason so few of my siblings had children... and some of the ones who did wish that they hadn't..."

Sadness overtook Jos's expression as thoughts of her own mother's abandonment pressed through her thoughts. "Why would anyone not want their own children?" She could hear the break in her voice but didn't try to hide it.

"It's not like that... Take Triton for instance. After losing two of his three daughters and his wife... He's constantly preaching against any kind of attachment. He has very little to do with anyone anymore." He said.

Jos thought back to their stay in Maine and the gigantic man's demeanor and the ring tattooed on his finger. She tilted her head in question. "What of his other daughter? You said he only lost two of the three?"

He ran a hand over his hair. "Let's just say they are all lost to him in one way or the other..." He shifted his attention back to her. "What do you say we change into something more comfortable... and less covered in semen... and go for a walk or something... I can tell you more as we do so?" When she simply nodded unsaid words lingering in the air between them, he let out another sigh as he raked his hands through his hair. Deciding he wasn't pressing her further just yet, he pushed up from the couch and tugged her up beside him.

He locked the door and began undoing the buttons of the vest he wore along with the first several buttons at his neck and the ones at his sleeves, before rolling them up. Jos only watched him from across the room. He ran his hand across the back of his neck as he walked over to her. He didn't bother turning her in his arms, instead, he simply brushed her hair out of the way and slid the zipper of her dress down. He bent in front of her and tugged the tight dress down then the soiled underwear. "I'll send these out to be dry cleaned." He murmured as she held his gaze in confused, arousal while she stepped out of the garments. He stood and guided her back to the edge of the bed before lowering again. This time he carefully removed one heel then the other before working the panty-hoes down her legs.

Jos shook her head as she watched him. "I just don't understand you... You can't constantly do things like this and not expect me to jump you. Don't get me wrong this is by no means something I want you to stop, I enjoy it... quite a lot... too much probably... but I WANT TO FUCK YOU WHEN YOU DO THESE THINGS!" She emphasized each word holding his gaze with her own smoldering aqua pools.

Arei's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull hearing her words. He shook away the thoughts building in his male brain as he moved his focus to fold the garments now on the floor. "I appreciate your bluntness." His eyes moved skeptically from the garments in hand to her. He tried his best to mask his vulnerability as he asked. "But is it me you want or some expectation you're hoping to achieve? Sex, even with me, will not make any of the things you're feeling go away or make any more sense. It will only add to your confusion and add new complicated emotions to what you're already experiencing."

Jos lowered to her knees in front of him, cupping his massive face in her hands. "I want you! I want the man looking back at me right now. This one!" She poked his chest with one hand. "The one who is a little unsure of himself, who puts caring for others above all else, the man who taught me what it meant to love and be loved. I can't stop replaying all my lost time and the leaps and bounds we had taken during that time. I want that back, desperately. I know it will mean its own complications, but I also know it will mean never having to face that alone again. Why sex? Because it seems like everything you are currently holding back revolves around it, one. Two, I KNOW you want me as much as I want you and, regardless of what you've said, you would not have held back as you are now, in Tampa."

He nodded. "Is there a three?"

Jos frowned as she tried to read his mood. "There wasn't but might as well be now. It's not about having kids, it's not about either of our fucked up pasts, it's not about who we are or what we are... I want to know about you and what you went through, I want to understand your reasons, and I want to know about your family as well as my own... but I want all of you or at least the whole reason behind why you're not willing to give that to me yet."

He nodded pressing his lips together in a tight line. "Can you give me until this evening?"