This mess we're in

He kept the beer in the fridge and slumped in the armchair to flick through messages on his phone.

No shit from work, which was good. His friends ribbing him about a honeymoon weekend, which he ignored.

He might as well take a shower now while he waited for Ren.

Shinobu was not particularly thrilled about Ren's chat with Nozawa. He knew that Nozawa had basically cut off ties with Ren after he found out about them.

Interesting that he was getting it on with Chiaki.

Shinobu frowned.

Chiaki seemed a bit off just now. Whether he was high or drunk, Shinobu couldn't tell. Chiaki never sought him out after that one time.

Which perversely led to the breakup with Ren and two whole years of sheer torture.

In any case, that was in the past. Shinobu doubted that Chiaki even remembered the brief drink.

He was about to head to the bathroom when a pounding jolted him.

"Kurosawaaa!"

A familiar voice. And he thought that the night couldn't get any worse.

"Fuck," Shinobu swore and went to the door.

"Go back to your room, Chiaki," he ordered.

"Open up! I want to see you!" Chiaki whined. "Your boyfriend is not around anyway!"

There was no sobriety in that voice. Shinobu considered calling security or standing his ground. Either led to an unwanted commotion.

And after all, they did keep each other company once upon a time.

"Let me in!" Chiaki pounded again.

He gritted his teeth and opened the door.

Chiaki stumbled inside and pushed him away. His gait was uneven as he crossed the room with surprising speed.

His sight rested oddly enough on a pair of jackets which Shinobu and Ren had casually flung onto the back of a chair.

"Nice room," he remarked.

Shinobu grabbed his arm to steady him. "I'll take you back to yours."

Chiaki wrestled away. "No! I wanna stay here. With you."

"You can't," Shinobu told him slowly.

Chiaki looked puzzled. Then a smile which was both angry and inviting. "Why not? We always fuck in a motel. This is much better."

"That was a long time ago."

Shinobu was careful to sound even. He didn't like the direction of this conversation, if one could call it that.

It was as if Chiaki wanted to return to a time which Shinobu had no inclination to visit.

"But you still look so hot." Chiaki gave him a once over and grew thoughtful. "So...why didn't I see that?"

Shinobu drew in a breath and demanded, "Your key."

"Didn't bring it," Chiaki grinned with a hint of triumph. He moved closer and pulled Shinobu's top. "Come on, let's have some fun. He can watch. I don't mind."

Shinobu grasped his wrist and said firmly, "You're drunk. Stop it."

"Or what?" Chiaki challenged, with a sudden clarity. "I'm surprised, you know. You're still with him. Or do you just fuck other people on the side?"

"What is it with you?" Shinobu asked in disbelief.

"Me?" Chiaki laughed again, now almost hysterical. "Me..? Oh, I dunno. But who cares?"

He tried to grope Shinobu but Shinobu pushed him away, causing him to fall into bed.

"Is this where you want me?" Chiaki stretched himself across the sheets. "Could've said so."

He started to giggle and unbutton his shirt.

There was no reasoning with him. Shinobu called Ren.

xxxxxxxx

They settled into a terrible silence and headed to the poolside terrace.

Empty and dark. Conducive for what would likely be a difficult exchange.

Once seated, Ren tried to break the ice. "How have you been?"

Nozawa chuckled, without humour. "Is that what you really want to ask?"

"I haven't seen you for a long time."

"Do you still keep in touch with Arai and Izumi?"

"Yeah, we still hang out," Ren replied. He wanted to add that Nozawa should join their next drinking session but Nozawa's flat comment stopped him.

"Good for you guys."

"Are you here just for the weekend too?" Ren decided to tread on lighter topics.

"Stop pretending to be polite, Fujiwara. I'm here for a weekend of sex with a fuck buddy."

Ren couldn't stop the surprise from registering on his face.

"What?"

"Sorry," Ren said quickly. "I just didn't expect that. That's all."

"You and Kurosawa…still together?"

Ren nodded.

"I'm surprised."

"It worked out." Ren found himself holding back a smile. There was anger resonating from Nozawa, which confused him.

"Kurosawa seems to know Chiaki?"

"Yeah. Back when we were at school."

"They must have fucked too. Aren't you curious?"

"Nozawa!" Ren admonished, not understanding the sharp edges of their conversation. Or the mocking glint in Nozawa's eyes.

"Actually, weren't YOU ever curious? Why I stopped talking to you?" Nozawa questioned.

"I thought you just weren't comfortable," Ren told him the truth. A sense of dread hung over him.

"Damn right I wasn't," Nozawa said harshly. "I liked you, you know? Nothing platonic about it either. But I never did anything. We were all checking out girls and all. Then suddenly, you were with Kurosawa."

Ren lost all ability to speak. His vocal chords simply ceased.

Nozawa's smile was twisted. "So I tried to live the conventional life. Got married. Just divorced last year. No kids, thank god. My ex could probably tell I wasn't really into her."

"I'm sorry," Ren whispered, overwhelmed by everything. "I didn't know."

Nozawa shrugged. "I've always wanted to know though. If I had told you back then. Did I stand a chance?"

It was an awful question. Because there wasn't a good answer. Only an honest one.

Ren swallowed and replied as gently as he could, even if a certain sadness overcame him, "I don't think so. It's not you. It's just that I…"

"He got to you first," Nozawa finished the sentence for him.

Ren didn't respond immediately. He struggled because he knew that the following words mattered.

In the end, there was no choice but to continue with honesty.

He held Nozawa's gaze. "It's not about him. We were friends. I had hoped that we would always be friends."

A friendship which, it seemed, had been broken by well-intentioned feelings masked in secrets and misunderstandings.

Nozawa looked away. Another silence.

The relief evident in both of them was almost comical when they were interrupted by Ren's phone ringing.

A name flashed on the screen. Shinobu.

"He's calling already." Nozawa sounded strangely amused.

"Sorry. Excuse me," Ren said and picked up the call. "Shin?"

"You both need to get back here."

There was another voice in the background, slurring and laughing.

Ren's heart sank. "Chiaki?"

"Yeah."

"Damn. We'll head upstairs," Ren promised quickly and hung up.

"What now?" Nozawa didn't seem particularly perturbed.

"Let's go." Ren sighed and stood up.