Part 1

(I hope all of you readers enjoy this and I'll release a Part 2 soon. Enjoy)

I'm perfect. Yes I said it, and I'll say it again for you. I, Isaac Black; am perfect. Except for the simple fact that I'm not. People view me as the poster boy for the perfect high school student. But what is perfect exactly? Everyone seems to have their different views on what perfect is. But apparently I'm it.

In reality though, my life is falling apart. Now you can't tell that just by looking at me but it's true.

Let's start off with my first big secret; I'm gay. Yeah that's right I'm a full-on, man loving homosexual. But does anyone suspect that I might be in the slightest? You guessed it, they don't. I'm not a guy that you could you really call flamboyant or anything like that. I mean I look straight. At 17, I'm 6'2 and I guess you could say I keep my body in good condition. Now I'm not saying I have muscles just everywhere, I'm saying that I'm on several sports teams and so I have to keep my body in good shape. Now not to brag or anything but I think I'm pretty good looking. I mean with my caramel complexion, green eyes, and curly black hair I've been told I can pick up my fair share of ladies. Which is funny because I'm not into girls, ha.

So, before I continue I just want to let you know I'm one of those people that you can't help but love. Yeah so I'm this popular athlete but wait that's not all folks; I'm also an honor student. That's right smart and an athlete. You can close your mouths now before you catch flies. I live in a pretty good neighborhood and our house is pretty nice too. A simple but modern brick two story house with a porch. The neighbors are all pretty nice and it's a very warm community.

Speaking of neighbors...just a few months ago a new family moved right next door to us. The Jacksons, two parents and two kids. A son and a daughter, twins actually and they're both 17. And let me tell you their son Kyle Jackson must have been sent down from the Gods because he looks amazing. Standing at 5'11" he's a bit on the lanky side but it suits him well. His skin glows like he just got out of the sun and his eyes are a deep brown which you can easily lose yourself in. And his messy brown hair just makes you want to run your hands all through it. He is one fine specimen and no one can tell me differently. I'm not good at giving visuals but, hey I'm not actually a writer so cut me some slack.

There's this one tiny problem though he has a girlfriend now. I know right!! Like he's only been here a few months and he already has a girlfriend. I mean I get it he's one of the finest things ever so of course girls would be attracted to him. But that's not the point, I wanted him first it's no fair. But it's not like I could just magically turn him gay or anything. I'll just have to settle on being his friend. So since I'm friends with Kyle now it also means I hang out his house a lot and his twin sister, Kayla also hangs out with us. I'm not saying this to gloat but because it'll be helpful later on; his sister Kayla has a crush on me. I really just don't understand that part but I guess girls like what they like.

To give you a visual Kayla Jackson looks somewhat similar to her brother but at the same time there's big differences between the two. Kayla is 5'7" and she has long straight brown hair which she always keeps in a ponytail. Now while Kyle is a glowing tan, Kayla is pale. She's not ghost pale but she's Snow White pale. And her eyes are a greyish color which I can only assume she got from her mother as Kyle got his brown eyes from his father. Kayla is a very pretty girl and she has a great personality too. If I was straight I'd probably have a crush on her. So back to Kayla having a crush on me. She's always hugging me and hanging around a bit longer when I'm over to visit Kyle. Speaking of which he's always joking about how'd we make a cute couple but I have to respectfully disagree. We'll get back to the Jackson twins but for right now we're moving on.

Let's talk a bit about my home life. Again this is where one of my problems comes into play. Second secret of the story is...my dad is cheating on my mother. I haven't told her or anyone because I like to pretend like it's not actually happening. Call me a bad person but I don't want my parents to split up even if they're not happy. Now it's not like my parents are fighting and they hate each other. I like to believe that it's only a sexual affair. I'm not saying what my father is doing right but I can still see in his eyes that he truly loves my mom so I'm not too worried. I mean if I wait it out until I'm 18 then I won't have to choose sides right?

Oh yeah and my sexuality is a secret too. It's not like I'm ashamed of my sexuality or anything but you know how these things go for high schoolers. I'm sure they'd understand and support me but it's not like this secret is eating me alive. Or is it?

Anyway next big thing you need to know about my life. I had an older brother. Yup had as in past tense, as in he's dead. It's the usual 'drunk driver causes a car accident and kills an innocent person' spiel. I mean yeah I was pretty broken up about it and even thinking about it today still gets to me. He was my age when he was hit by a drunk driver five years ago. My brother was the smart one and he was planning on going to Cornell University on a full ride. He was a pretty great role model to have in my life. It took a lot for me to come to terms with what had happened and I think about him everyday but I have to push through and become as good as him. Alright that's enough of the deep stuff.

Yeah so I don't have any other siblings which is fine with me because I love living in a quiet home. I wish I could say my house was still a home, but it's not anymore. Sometimes I find my mom crying in the living room late at night and I'll go comfort her. But there's really nothing I can do to help her pain and I know that. I guess there's just a lot of tension building up at home. I'm pretty good at handling it but a person can only deal with so much but I digress.

Moving on to school life. I go to Washington Prep- the rich kid school. Yes I'm one of those prep school kids. To answer your questions, no I'm not stuck up and no we're not all brainwashed. School is decent, it's not exactly my favorite place but I mean what can you do really. To answer your next question; if you're so popular and perfect how come you're not happy to have all this positive attention directed towards you? I've got a simple answer, I'm being praised for all my achievements, there's not a single soul in that school that knows anything about me really. To put it simply, I don't have any close friends, that means there's no one I trust and I can't open up to anyone. Yeah I'm friendly and I can hold a decent conversation but I've never met anyone that I wanted to get close to. To put it simply school is fine and my social life is kind of dead but I like it like that.

Oh so I can probably guess what you're thinking now- When is he going to tell us why he killed himself? Well I guess I better explain since that's what you're reading this for. So let's start in order shall we.

So remember a few lines ago when I was telling you how I didn't have any close friends? Yeah, okay good so we're going to talk about Kyle some. I decided to tell him I was gay. That's right he's the first person I came out to. And I know you all would like to hear that he accepted me and that we stayed friends. But nope that is definitely not what happened. Turns out Kyle is a BIG homophobe. Me being in the closet and never talking about a single thing gay I didn't know this. He got super mad and was cursing at me and telling me things like he can't believe he was ever friends with someone like me blah blah blah. So yeah he was yelling and Kayla was home and I could've sworn she went about 2 shades paler and she looked sick. They both told me to get out and so I did considering I didn't know what Kyle might do next.

Next day I show up to school and I'm getting all types of looks from the people in the halls. Of course that could only mean that either Kyle or Kayla let out my big secret. I didn't really know how to feel at that point so I decided to just skip school and spend the day at the library.

Yeah school was no longer a decent place for me anymore. I'm pretty sure things got worse when I got home that night too. When I pull into the driveway at 8 it's dark and there's only one light on. As I get closer to the door I can hear screaming and some type of commotion, naturally I rush in to make sure everyone is safe.

I walk into my mom and dad arguing. Mom hasn't yelled in a really wrong time so I know that could only mean one thing. She found out about my dad's extracurricular activities. My mom's face is red and blotchy and stained with tears and I realize how much my dad has really hurt her. I get angry at him but I also can't help getting angry at myself too.

TO BE CONTINUED