Guilt

"You're right, I like how things are." He did not need to worry about the responsibility that comes with being a Blackwood. He did not need to live in the Blackwood home under the pressure and hate of his parents. Life outside the capital was quite pleasant. Thinking back, being an aristocrat isn't all that good, there's nothing enviable about it. He loved his simple life in the city among the commoners, it was worthwhile.

"You mom would be disappointed in you." Chamberlain whispered, only Carl heard him, he stiffened immediately. This has always made him feel guilty. It was the only spot he considered black in his life. Back then if only he had told his mother, maybe she wouldn't have died alone. He couldn't even hate his father, all this put together made him feel like a bad son.