Heartbreak

I always worried about all the things that could go wrong, but even in the worst scenarios I had not expected this situation to happen. Was I wrong to take it for granted that we were a couple? Otherwise what would we call people who spent most of their free time together, kissed and flirted? Friends with benefits? Was Dave looking for an open relationship where he would be free to meet other girls? Or did he already have a girlfriend? I had never asked him directly? I only had Tuulia ask him and there was no guarantee that he had been telling the truth as he didn't even know her. I was having all these thoughts race across my mind and I was left in a daze. I don't even know how I made it to the bus stop. I mechanically completed all the actions and this is how I found myself at home. I entered the house quietly, hoping not to attract anyone's attention as I was not in a state to face anyone.

When I looked at my phone later at night, I saw that I had three missed calls from Dave. I had put my phone on silent, so I did not hear it ring. As it is, I didn't want to answer his calls. I was feeling too bad, my head was pounding and I had cried so much that my eyes were dry and my body was dehydrated. I was so tired from all these emotions that I finally fell asleep still clutching my phone. I couldn't understand how everything could just get destroyed in seconds. One minute I was moaning with pleasure and the next I was sighing with pain. Life was really unpredictable.

The next morning I noticed that Dave had texted me at night.

I'm sorry I hurt you. Good night.'

I did not reply to his message as I did not know what to say.

I had planned to go to the library to complete my assignment that day and though I wanted to stay at home and bawl my eyes out, I had a job to complete.

I felt so odd going to the library on my own,with all the memories attached to that space.

I had almost completed my work and was putting the books back on the shelves when I received another phone call from Dave. This time I decided to pick the call and I asked him curtly,

'What do you want?'

'Let me explain...'

'What to explain? You've ruined my life.'

I knew I sounded as if I was exaggerating but the pain was too raw. I had let this man into my life, let him kiss me, touch me and he didn't even want to be my boyfriend? So why do these acts then?

Or was I the one who had thrown myself at him? Now that I thought about it, I was the one who made all these plans and schemed to come close to him? So was it appropriate of me to throw all the blame on him?

'Let's meet please. We need to talk.'

'Ok,' I agreed.

'Gym in 10 mins.'

'Ok.'