Is it the end?

The relationship between Dave and I was blossoming into something wonderful, or so I liked to believe. We would meet everyday, except on Sundays, spend so much time together, be it in class, gym or behind the old library. His touch made my body hunger for more, but even though I wanted to give in to the passion consuming us, I exercised some restraint as I was not ready to give him my virginity. However, I had no such problems in my dreams which ran wild. I would sometimes tease Dave by telling him about some of my dreams.

The other day, we were sitting on our bench when sliding close to him, I whispered,

'I had a dream. You were in it. Naked.'

That caught his attention immediately.

'We were in class?'

'In class?'

'Yes, all alone. You know, that big desk against the wall? You were leaning back on it and I was caressing your ankles, slowly moving my hands up your calf. Then I was touching your thighs, until I reached....'

'Yes?' Dave was half-panting by now and his eyes were gleaming.

'Oh, then my dream broke and I woke up.'

'You're such a tease you know.'

The next day, I had an appointment at the hairdresser's for a new haircut. The previous time when we had been playing badminton, when reaching for a shot, my racket actually got stuck and I pulled my hair. That was so painful and it made me realise that I either needed a haircut or I had to tie my hair into those voluminous buns. I chose the haircut. I was quite satisfied with the results afterwards. My hair now fell in soft layers around my face and reached until below my shoulders. It was light and fresh and it boosted my confidence so much. I planned to show it to Dave on the next day after our game. I tied my hair so that he wouldn't notice the difference and pinned all wayward curls. While playing, my attention was drawn to a group of girls. It was the same group that had been there during one of our earlier game and a girl had been glaring at me. She was doing the same at that moment and it felt odd, but only for some time as I temporarily put her out of my mind. I felt so carefree and in love that I was flirting with Dave even on court. When it came time to pick up the shuttle, I would bend slowly causing my skirt to hike up my thighs and revealing more of my legs. I did this deliberately a few times and I knew it had caught Dave's attention.

After the game, freshly showered, I finally showed my new haircut to Dave.

'Wow, it makes you look gorgeous. Not that you didn't look good earlier. You look happier.'

'That's because I am...happier.' And I grabbed his hands and brought it to my chest. 'You make me so happy.' I released only one of his hands, and still holding the other one, we left the gym. It was the first time that I was initiating this contact by myself.

We had almost left the parking when suddenly I felt a painful pressure on my shoulder, causing me to release Dave's hands and take a step to the side. Someone had been leaning her body weight against my shoulder blade. Flustered I looked behind me. Dave had already turned around and was looking at the girl who had started this.

'What's the meaning of this?'

None of them was looking at me and they hadn't even heard me. Just this act made me feel ostracized. It was as if they were in a bubble of their own and everything else had ceased to exist.

'Liz?'

This soft whisper of Dave caused my heart to clench. Varni? Dave's ex-girlfriend? What was she doing there?

'Dave,' I whispered, but he barely spared me a glance.

Lizzy moved closer to Dave and caught his left hand in hers. He didn't try to pull it away. She was smiling at him, with tears in her eyes. I had been shut out. Varni had been Dave's first love and I didn't know why that had really separated. I do know it was not because he no longer had feelings for her. He himself had told me that he had still loved her when they separated. Unforeseen circumstances made them drift apart. So did he still love her? He had never told me about his feelings for me, just that he liked me a lot. But love? I loved him, but I didn't know whether my feelings were returned. I had to try again.

'Dave?' This time a bit more forcefully, but to no avail. I couldn't bear it any longer. I felt that my heart was about to break into pieces. The pain was so real that it was even difficult to breathe. With tears blurring my vision, I turned around and started running. Once, I even turned around in the hope that someone would stop me, but no...Slowly they disappeared from my sight and I found myself all alone.