The Big Move

Solenn

I have always been a firm believer that women can make the first move in any relationship because why not? That was why it was no big deal that I asked for Nico's number. If I had not asked for it, there would be no #SosBolz today. Plus, I knew I wanted to meet Nico again. I just can't wait for Chance to force us to bump into each other. I seized the moment and it had been worth it.

Days before my birthday, I sent him a text message--not just once but at least 10 times. Please don't believe what Nico said that I sent the message 33 times. It was only 10 times! I was inviting him to join me and my friends for a celebration.

He confirmed going to my party, and he did show up. He was there, mingling well with my friends. We could have moved on with our lives, but the words of one of my best friends perhaps really set our relationship in motion then.

He grabbed my hand and linked it with Nico's hand and told me, "Do not let go of this guy. He is a good guy."

I guess that was an affirmation that I needed to hear.

The next thing I knew Mr. Bolzico has been inviting me to meet every single day. But we were just enjoying each other's company, not knowing if the relationship would have lasted longer. We still didn't want to be in a relationship.

Nico

At that time, I really liked Solenn. I liked her so much I wanted to meet her every day and the next thing I knew she was moving into my apartment.

It has been a few months since Solenn and I were dating when a someone Solenn and I know pulled me into a corner.

"If you're looking for fun, go with me. If you're looking for a relationship, go with this other girl," she told me. She was referring to Solenn.

That hit me. She was right. Solenn is the type of girl you want to have a proper relationship with. The next thing I knew, I started asking her about our relationship.

Are you seeing other men? Are you just seeing me?

"I'm just seeing you," she replied.

I told the same thing. I was not seeing anyone else.

"Okay, so we're exclusive," she added.

What? I didn't understand her.

"Here in the Philippines, you can date around with different people for fun or you can be dating just one person and that's called 'exclusively dating.' You're not in a relationship, but you're only dating one person," she said.

I didn't get all of that.

"Well, you're dating me and I'm dating you, but we have no title. So if you want to be my boyfriend you need to ask to make it official," she added.

Getting into a serious relationship was still a difficult choice at that point. I had a job that required me to travel to Africa next. I never stopped in one place for more than six months. Making my relationship with Solenn would mean I had to give up my job.

"I love you," Solenn told me.

I was rattled. I freaked out a little bit, especially because I did not intend to stay in the Philippines. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I really wanted to stay with her. But choosing her would mean I would change my life.

Three months after Solenn and I started dating, I was scheduled to fly out to Argentina in December like I always do. After going home to Argentina, I would be making my move to Tanzania.

I asked Solenn to join me in Argentina to meet my parents and my family. It was a 30-hour flight from the Philippines. It was the first time Solenn in that part of the world.

At the end of the trip, I was not making my way to Tanzania. I quit my job. For the first time, I didn't make a decision based on my career.

I went back to the Philippines with Solenn where we went home to an apartment we bought together. That was the first big move I did for love, for Solenn. That changed the course of my life. #