Chapter 32

ADRIAN'S  POV

After eating Melissa and I decided to finally talk.

"Ready?" She asked me. I nodded my head even though I was unsure.

I'm afraid to say something wrong. What if I say something and she never forgives me? Like earlier. I told her that I didn't know if I would leave her or not. I lied. I would NEVER leave her.

I guess I'm more or less confused. In more way than 1.

"Yeah. Where to start." I said.

"First off, what would we have done!? I know you somewhat answered this question but, what would we have done? I'm only 19. And so are you. We are both WAY to young." She said.

"Well I'm hoping you would have kept it no matter what." I said.

"Yeah. I would have." She said in a low voice

I smiled slightly.

"Well I would have asked you to be my girlfriend and me and you could have raised the baby together. We could have gotten our own apartment and been so happy." I said. I don't know why I was saying all this. The baby is dead. I'm not even really sure why we are talking about this again. I think Melissa just wants to feel like if she still was pregnant, she would still be happy no matter what.

"Really? I thought you would have left." She said

"I mean after what you had said earlier." She said.

"I didn't mean that Melissa. Of course I would stand by your side. Even if you got an abortion. I really care about you Melissa. We are best friends. I know we started this Friends With Benefits, and it screwed up a lot of things. But I wouldn't take it back. Even the loss of the baby." I said.

"You wouldn't take it back? Why? I mean after everything we've been though. The losses. The pain." She said

"Cause I wouldn't have experienced everything with you. This whole friends With Benefits has made us closer. We are experiencing the same pain. I know the loss of our baby hurt. I mean it was our baby. Mine and yours. Something we made together. And I blame myself you know. For even going out with Jennifer. If I would have gone out with her, she wouldn't have thought I liked her. And she wouldn't have pushed you in front of that bus. And we would still have our baby." I said.

It's true. I truly blamed myself.

Melissa sighed and then she got up and sat on top of me so she was straddling me.

"This was NOT your fault. Don't ever think that. You did not kill our baby. Jennifer did. And yes. I actually blamed you for a little while. But not for the reason you think. Yes Jennifer was the one who threw me in front of the bus. But I blamed you for even putting me through this. For getting me pregnant in the first place." She said.

I was about to say something. But as soon as I opened my mouth Melissa cut me off

"And I am so sorry that I blamed you. I truly hated you for it. But I soon realized that it was my fault too. As they say it takes two to tango. So it was my fault too. I guess we forgot to use protection one day. I don't know when. But it did lead to me being pregnant." She said.

"Did they tell you how far along you were?" I asked her.

"3 weeks." She said.

"So either in Cancun or the funeral." I said.

"Probably." She said.

"So. What now? Do we have anything else?" I asked her.

"Not really. Not anything that I can think of." She said.

"I actually have something. I was thinking about this on the plane ride. Would you rather it be a boy or a girl?" I asked her.

"Girl. But I would have been happy with either." She said.

"What about names? I mean we can't just call the baby 'our baby' if we ever talk about it. How about we give it a name?" I said.

Melissa smiles.

"Yeah. I like that idea. What would be a good name? It has to be both boy and girl. Since we don't know the gender." She said.

"Logan?" I said.

"Isn't that your grandmothers name?" She asked me and I nodded.

"I love it." She said before kissing me.

As I pulled away I could tell that Melissa was now crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Giving him or her a name makes it so much more real. We lost a baby Adrian. Your son or daughter is dead!" She cried out.

I placed both of my hands on her face.

"I promise I will make sure nothing happens to you like that again. I love you so much Melissa." I said.

"You love me?" She asked me.

"I don't just love you. I am in love with you." I slowly said