Diamond of Love (2)

Today, I sit nervously in front of mother. She sends Alska to her room, she gives her plenty of chocolate to chew and a new coloring book to make her busy. Mother locks Alska's room, so she won't know anything. Mother glares at me with anger. Deep anger, but she tries to conceal it, acting all nice by calling my name softly.

"Andra, where were you last night?" she asks out of the blue. I gulp nervously, since I'm the one to blame here, and she knows everything.

"I don't know what are you saying, I slept last night…"

She chuckles, even though I find nothing funny. "I know everything, and you must've realized how much I despise a liar." She takes a seat beside me. My body went cold, I feel like fainting just because she is near me. Her menacing aura eats all my guts and spit it as fear. I feel powerless and lifeless.

"Now, tell me again where were you last night?"

"I—don't go anywhere."

"LIE!" shouts mother. I'm shocked and unable to react when I realize she points a small pocketknife to my neck. I try to move away from this position, but seeing mother expression makes me think twice about avoiding it. She looks really angry, not her usual anger of rage and grudge, but she looks hurt.

"I… met someone," I say it clearly. Mother folds the knife. She still looks angry, but not as menacing as before. She takes a deep breath and asks. "Who?"

"Someone, I just told him to stay away," I say. My tongue turns bitter when I say it. I know I'm partly lying about that 'stay away' part. Since I didn't say it clearly to him. I hope Joseph won't contact me again, I haven't check my phone since yesterday. Mother relaxes her shoulder a bit. She leans back to the sofa.

"At least, you're honest."

We stay in this awkward position until an hour later, when Alska calls mother because she is hungry. Mother opens her room, and Alska nags about hearing mom's scream. However, I quickly direct her intention to food. It's been a while since I cook something for her.

Mother has a short shift today. She leaves home in the evening and promises to be back at midnight. I watch the TV with Alska. I check my phone to see if Joseph is still trying. Fortunately, there is no call or message. I put my phone on the table. I help Alska choosing the right movie to watch. Since there is not so much selection, I pick her favorite. When the movie starts rolling, Alska suddenly hugs me.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Big Andra, we can always be together, right?" she asks out of the blue. I pat her head.

"Of course, why did you say that?"

Alska looks at me with her bright eyes. A puddle of tear starts filling her eyes, I wipe it softly. "Mom once told me, many things will take you away from me," she says. She whimpers like I did seven years ago.

"Don't cry, Alska. I will be okay, you too, and mom too."

"I will protect you, Big Andra, from meanies and evil dolls!" declares Alska. She doesn't seem to play around when she said that, in fact, she sounds very determined. I smile a little. I mean, your little sister wants to protect you, that's such a sweet love from a deranged human being.

'The world is gray, Alska. You might never know, but I close your eyes with a sweet hand and ask you to sleep.'

I take the blanket under the sofa, covering our body with warmth. Alska and I watch the movie with joy. Then, my phone rings, loudly. I'm flustered when I hear that noise. After a while, I check my phone, hoping that it is mother or another person as long as it's not him. My body stiffened when I read the text. For few seconds, I think I'm not breathing at all. I hold my gasp and act coolly because there is Alska beside me.

I'm near your residence, I'll bring something for your family.

I click the button and reply as fast as possible.

Where did you get my address? I send the text. Then, a new message aghast me even more.

Diana gave it to me.

Diana? THAT Diana? I have many questions in my head, but in the end, the only thing that matters is… this is her revenge to me. She did this on purpose. She knows mother's true self. She knows this will plunges Joseph to a deep pitfall. This is her revenge, and it's fatal.

I feel like crying, knowing that Diana betrayed my trust. I want to curse her because she does this, but this is what she felt before. I did the same thing, but I don't know how sting it feels. It feels like my heart is being ripped, poured into acid. I can't imagine how incredibly awful she was when my mother murdered her father.

'It hurts, Diana. It does hurt…'

I shake my head. I must text Joseph not to come. But my blood runs cold when I hear the doorbell. The phone slips from my hand, and I don't even notice it. I was drawn by fear of something fateful. The doorbell rings two times. Alska gets bothered because the doorbell keeps ringing. She stands, but I forbid her.

"Just watch the movie, Alska."

I slowly open the door. My palm is sweating. And then, my body feels feeble to barely stand. Joseph stands there with flowers and chocolate, very cheesy and funny for some people. But, I can't hide my fear. The world turned upside down just by him standing naively in front of me. I shut the door immediately, but he knocks again. "Andra? Are the flowers too much? I just want to give a surprise."

"Andra…"

"Andra?"

I bite my bottom lip, shakes my head again and again to ignore his voice. What should I do to save him? I'm terrified, really terrified. I lock the door. The bad thought of his omen already taking over my cool. Then, Alska comes and holds my hand. I look at her amazing eyes, curious, yet cautious.

"Who's outside, Big Andra?"

"It is—no one, you should go back to your room—"

"Is it a guest? I wanna play with him…" Says Alska. She tries to take the key, but I push her back until she falls.

"NO! Go back to your room, now!" I scream all my fear to her. Alska is shocked, but I don't see tears. Not even a single drop of tears rolling down. She looks... different. Did I push her too hard?

"I—I'm sorry Alska, but, please… go back to your room…"

She does the opposite. Alska snatches the key from my hand. "It's fine, Big Andra. I won't tell mom, and we can have tea party!"

"NO! Go to your room!" I shouted for the second time, but Alska doesn't stagger.

"I promise, I won't tell mom…"

"No…"

"I promise."

Her bright eyes, sparkling with hope and dream I can't crush. She sounds very sincere that my anger turns into guilt. My grip on the handle soften, I know I can't resist her beg. So I follow what she wants. I unlock the door. I open the only door that separates me from a terrible fate.

"Andra! I thought you wouldn't open it," Joseph wears a checkered shirt and jeans. He tries to style his hair, which ended up horribly. Just looking at him for a few seconds able to lift my fear a bit, but it comes back again when Alska drags Joseph inside. Alska looks excited since we have a guest. Joseph gives the chocolate to Alska and the flower to me.

"My dad told me, woman loves flower, so I bring you one."

I smile a little. Not because the flower is beautiful, but because it is actually funny to see how cheesy and old school he is. But I like it nonetheless. I think I can let him for an hour or less, then, Joseph must go. I can bribe Alska with stuff.

Alska drags her to a tea party. Fortunately, I don't find any suspicious 'doll' she usually hugs. Joseph follows her instruction awkwardly. I make the real tea for the guest. We have tea party with Alska, watch movie together and all of those things awkwardly. However, it is mostly just Alska who tries to drag us to whatever she wants. After three hours passed, I become anxious about him. This is going to be a disaster.

"You— need to go, Joseph," I say reluctantly. He seems surprised because he is still playing with Alska.

"Why? I haven't met your mother yet," he argues. Oh, if he knows what kind of mother I have, I bet he wouldn't say that thing, not at all. "Diana said your mother is a sweet and gentle woman," my body stays still for a few second. Diana actually said something like that. She really throws him into a death pit, and I blame him for believing everything she said. Nothing is scarier that naivety.

"But, you—"

"Let's play with more dolls! I have so many in my room!" Alska suddenly drags Joseph to his room. I hold them, especially Joseph.

"No, he needs to go," I say unpleasantly. But Alska refuses to let go his hand.

"But I want to play…" she pouts. I shake my head. "Alska, don't make this—"

"Oh, It is okay. I want to stay little longer after all," Says Joseph happily. He follows Alska to his room. I am nothing but scared, how about that dead kitten Alska have in her room. However, when Joseph goes in, he is undistracted and sits with Alska to play dolls. I stand at the doorway, holding my breath every time Joseph notices something, but he seems okay.

"Big Andra! I want milk!"

"Milk? Like, hot milk?" I ask Alska who looks jubilant today. She nods. Although it is really rare for her to request something from me, I go to the kitchen for a cup of hot milk. I pour milk from the carton carefully.

I drop the milk carton when I hear a loud sound of door being slammed. Instantly, my eyes wander to the source of that slam. I notice Alska runs to the toilet.

"Alska?" she runs even faster when I call her.

"Andra? What happened?" Joseph knocks the door from inside. I twist the door handle, but it is locked. I thought I didn't use enough power, so I try again. It is locked. I twist the handle repeatedly. "Open the door."

"What? I don't lock it," claims Joseph. I feel dread when he says that. I hope my fear isn't mutual with the truth. I immediately search Alska. I rush to the toilet, only to find her flushing the key. Alska stares at me, truly happy and proud. "I save you, Big Andra!" she says proudly.

Save me? No, no. This, I have a terrible feeling about it.