JOANNA'S RETURN [I]

Evie gritted her teeth as she tried to tolerate her environment. The pungent smell of medicine and antiseptics and whatever odor she was perceiving robbed her of her breath. The screams of patients in the hospital ward made her feel more uneasy. She felt like escaping. To just run away and leave everything behind. But she couldn't do that now. No matter how much she hated this place and hated when people were in pain, she couldn't leave. Joanna was her mother after all so she had to be there for her. She forced herself to count silently in order to block the sounds that were piercing her ears.

But that was only effective for a little while as her train of thought kept getting broken. The '67' that she had counted suddenly went back to '58'. She kept repeating numbers until the doctor came out of the room. He called both Isabel and David to his office and when they were about to leave, Mike asked if they could see Joanna. The doctor said yes and they - Mike, Caleb and herself - went in.

Seeing Joanna sitting on the bed awake gladdened them. Caleb happily ran toward her and attempted to hug her but she evaded him. She stood up from the bed and tried to run but the intravenous drip she was taking held her back.

"Who are you?" Joanna spoke in a shaky voice as she pointed at them. She was obviously afraid but they didn't understand why. But what surprised them was that she didn't recognise them.

"Mommy, it's me Caleb, your son. Mike and Evie are also here. Don't you remember us?"

"Don't come any closer. I don't know who you are. Stay away from me." Joanna tried frantically to remove the hollow needle from her wrist.

"Mom, calm down." Mike moved toward her wanting to calm her down.

"Don't touch me! Don't call me your mom either! I don't know you. Just go away! Please!" Joanna scurried away like a chick hiding from a hawk.

"Mom..." Mike just stood there staring. Tears had begun to form in his eyes and he tried to suppress it.

"Doctor! Nurse!" Joanna screamed as she reached for the bell beside her bed and rang it. In a matter of seconds, there were doctors and nurses inside the room. A nurse escorted them out while another one injected her an anaesthetic which made her fall unconscious.

Evie didn't notice Mike had left until the doctor in charge returned with Isabel and David and David asked of Mike. It was then that Caleb said he had left. The doctor explained Joanna's condition to them - she had partial amnesia. They understood why she wouldn't remember them but she acting that way was something they couldn't understand and Evie voiced it out. The doctor called it Paranoia and told them to expect it more. He explained that she felt incomplete and would find it hard to trust but if they treated her sincerely she would learn to trust them. He also advised them to always be honest with her.

That was the last thing Evie heard before she fell deep into her thoughts. She wondered if she had to keep her identity a secret from Joanna as well. If she did that, wouldn't that mean Joanna would not trust her? She was still in her thoughts when Isabel tapped her and suggested to drive her home. She agreed and soon she and Caleb were in Isabel's car on the way home.

There was complete silence during the ride home until Isabel broke the silence with the words Evie expected to but wished not to hear.

"Since Joanna doesn't remember anything, you will have to continue pretending for now."

***************

Evie sighed as she checked her wristwatch. It was a day ago since she returned from the hospital. Isabel and David had gone back to the hospital early in the morning and they would bring Joanna back with them. She heard the honk of David's car and ran out of the room in excitement. As soon as she exited the room, she bumped into Ruth and the tray the latter was carrying fell to the floor creating a mess of broken utensils mixed with food and water.

"I'm so sorry." Evie said as she bent down, trying to salvage the situation.

"It's okay. I'll do it." Ruth pulled Evie away from the mess. "Go wash up. Let me do it."

"But..."

"No buts. Go on. If you really want to help then go talk to Mike. He hasn't eaten anything since he returned from the hospital yesterday."

Evie nodded and went to the bathroom to wash her hands. By the time she came out, Ruth had already cleaned up the mess. She headed towards Mike's room and knocked on the door.

"Go away!" A voice reverberated from inside the room.

Evie heard it but pretended not to. She just kept knocking on the door and soon enough Mike opened the door. He was about to tell her to go away but before he could speak, Evie had already entered the room. She sat on his bed and picked up a book. It was a children's storybook titled 'The little dinosaur'. She opened it and began reading it aloud.

"Once there was a little dinosaur called a maiasaur who lived with his mother."

"What do you think you're doing?"

"One day, he told his mother; I wish I were special like all the other dinosaurs." Evie was about to turn the next page when Mike snatched the book away from her hand. His eyes were red with anger or rather from crying.

"Get out!" Mike said as he opened a drawer and carelessly threw the book in.

"Mike, I'm sorry."

"Go away. Haven't you mocked me enough?" Mike said as he rolled his eyes in an effort not to cry. Evie noticed it and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"If it hurts, then cry. You'll get past it faster that way. Don't pretend to be okay when you're not. And if you need a listening ear, I'm here for you."

Mike was about to say something but his words got stuck in his throat. He finally let his cry out and as he cried, Evie patted his back quietly.

When he finished crying, he breathed slowly as he wiped his face and sat on the bed beside Evie.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Should I?"

"It might help."

"Okay." Mike lay down on the bed while placing his head on Evie's legs. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before he began to talk.

"I lived with my dad until I was nine then I ran away to my grandparents. It was only then I knew I had a mother and that dad had placed a restraining order on her. It was only then I found out that she had been sending me letters and gifts but none reached me because dad had been intercepting it."

Mike paused and inhaled deeply then exhaled before continuing. "One November, I received a gift box from her. It contained a photo, that storybook and a letter. The letter assured me that she loved me and wanted to be with me. In the letter she said that she was looking forward to the day when she will finally be able to be with me again and give me a hug. From that day onwards, we would be together forever and always. But I finally had the chance to be with her but she already replaced me. Then I met her and not only does she not even remember me, she also avoided me."

"To tell you the truth Mike, your mom never replaced you. You will always be Mike, her precious son that she loves more than anybody else."

"If she loves me, then why did she treat me that way?"

"The doctor called it paranoia. Due to her memory loss, she feels unable to trust others. It's just like having a big part of you removed, you know that something is missing but you just don't know what. It makes you feel like everyone is out to get you but it will pass. I assure you."

"How do you know?" Mike looked at her, his slightly red eyes sparkling with hope.

"I've gone through it before. And it will surely pass." Evie spoke reassuringly as she maintained eye contact with him.

"Did you regain your memories?"

"No but I learned to love and trust. Someday, mom will too and hopefully remember you. You just need to be sincere with her." Evie wished she could take her own advice. But she had already started this and if she gave up now, not just her and Isabel but also everyone that knew about it would be in trouble and that included Caleb. She couldn't let her brother be in jeopardy.

"Thanks, Evie." Mike sat up and she stretched her legs feeling relieved.

"You're welcome." She stood up and turned toward the door, ready to leave.

"One more thing, don't let anyone know that I cried. It's our secret."

"Sure. I'll take it to my grave if you wish." Evie smiled and opened the door.

"Okay." Mike watched as Evie left the room. If she was really keeping a secret, then from what she had just said he was sure she would never leak it out as long as she wasn't told to. But who exactly was her mastermind? Was it David or Isabel? Or both of them? What was the motive?