Chapter 9

I am so fucking stupid!

I rolled over in my bed and laid up against Miles. He was sound asleep after our 2-hour makeout session. I told him that I didn't want to have sex and making out is the closest we will get. I know it doesn't make any sense. Making out with somebody else who is NOT your boyfriend is still cheating. But I just wanted to make MIles feel better. Even though I will say this, I should have chosen another way.

As I laid on Miles's chest I could feel his heartbeat. He is so warm and my room is so cold so I snuggle up to him more. Miles wraps his arm around my waist pulling me closer. I look at the clock and it's about 3:00 am. I haven't been able to sleep. Too many thoughts going through my head.

I hate myself right now. I'm the biggest fucking cheater. First I slept with my boyfriend's brother, and I tell myself 100 times that it will never happen again and what happens less than 24 hours later? I have a long ass makeout session.

What the fuck is wrong with me???!!

"What are you thinking about?" Miles asked me.

"I thought you were asleep," I said.

"I was. But I woke up." He said.

"I'm thinking about how much of a whore I am," I said.

"You aren't a whore. I can promise you that. I hang out with enough of them to know." He said.

"I had sex with you to start off then we made out. I don't see how that doesn't make me a whore." I said. "You just made some bad decisions. That doesn't make you a whore. I've met worse girls. Girls who have sex with dozens of guys while they have multiple boyfriends. So you don't even compare to them." He said.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked him.

"I have no fucking idea. We can either keep seeing each other behind my brother back. Or we can end it now and not tell him, or end it now and tell him. It's up to you" He said.

"Can I think it over?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Take all the time you need. It's at least I can do for you letting me stay here." He said.

"I couldn't let you stay on the streets," I said.

"Was it because we had sex?" He asked.

"NO, it's because I care about you and I was worried something could happen to you," I said.

"Aw, does somebody care about me?" Miles joked.

"Of course I do," I said resting my chin on his chest and looking into my eyes.

"Goodnight Jemma." He said before going back to sleep. I was finally able to fall asleep after I talked to him.

THE NEXT MORNING

"Honey Wake up!" my mom yelled from downstairs. I opened my eyes and Miles was gone from the bed. Where did he go? 

I got up from the bed and walked into my bathroom. 

As I walked into the bathroom I saw a shadow in the shower. I figured it was Miles so I went back into my closet and grabbed my clothes. I went back into the bathroom and changed. "Miles, my mom wants me downstairs," I said. "Okay, I'm going to finish my shower and get dressed. Do you want me to  meet you downstairs?" Miles asked. "Yeah. My mom probably wants to meet you." I said. "She's met me before." Miles pointed out. "Okay, more like my aunt wants to meet you," I said. 

"Why?" Miles asked me. "Cause she's nosy. My mom texted me last night saying that my aunt wants to meet you. Now I'm going to telly ou this now. She's probably going to ask if I and you have anything going on. But tell her no." I said. "You want me to lie?" Miles joked. "No. Cause it's true. We don't have anything going on." I said.

"Yet," Miles said. "I haven't' decided yet Miles," I said. "Well can you hurry up? I need to know if I'm going to  destroy my brother's life or not." Miles said. "It won't destroy him," I said. "Yes, it will Jemma. My brother is like head over heels in love with you. You may not see it,  but I do. A few weeks ago, some girl came up to him and asked if he wanted to have sex with her. And I mean this girl was HOT. But he said no cause he loved his girlfriend." Miles said.

Does he love me? I know he likes me, but I'm not sure about love. I love him too. But is it actually love or friend love? If I truly loved him, then no matter if I was drunk or not. I wouldn't have slept with his brother. Nor would I be considering sleeping with his brother behind his back.

"I'm heading downstairs," I said. "OK," Miles said. I stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed my phone. I checked the time and it was 10:47. I also saw that I had 8 missed messages.

Kyle - hey babe. hows things going with my brother?

Kyle - is he being an ass yet?

Kyle - are you okay?

Kyle - you aren't answering.

Kyle - is something wrong?

Kyle - I miss you

Kyle - my brother isn't answering his phone either, call me please, I'm getting worried

Kyle - I just got a message from Damien telling me that you went upstairs with Miles the night of the party and didn't come back down. We need to talk. And now