I watched Anya rush out of my room to get away from me, I scared her. I fell back into my bed feeling defeated.
Shit, I fucked up... again. Not only did I make that stupid wager with Rogan and Haku but I can't have her all to myself.
My Mother use to tell me when I was young that one day I'll find a woman that will steal my heart even if I didn't want her to take it.
Anya was bring back forgotten memories. I remember my Mother holding me in her arms. "Your Father doesn't want to love me but he also doesn't want to let me go." She said sadly patting my head softly. I hated seeing the sadness in my Mother's beautiful golden eyes.
"If one day you find the love of your life, never force her to love you my son. She will only grow to hate and despise you and if you love her cherish her, be faithful, and fair but if you know you are only going to hurt her again and again even if you love her, let her go." She said kissing the top of my head.
"Okay mommy I will, I promise." I remember saying not really understanding what I was promising her until now. The mere thought of her being gone IS driving me insane and the thought of her loving another man other then me IS driving me mad.
My Mother was a beautiful, caring, wise women until my deranged Father broke her. Always doing something to cause her pain until it made her sick and it killed her in the long run or I should say he killed her.
In some ways I knew my Father loved my Mother but he didn't figure that out himself until it was to late. I guess that's why that heartily bastard ended his own life cause he just couldn't handle the guilt or maybe he couldn't live without her.
I sighed, forcing the memories in the back of my mind. I don't know and I really don't care. I have problems of my own to worry about right now.
I sighed again, I still haven't figured out how to tell Anya, she has completely lost her freedom and it's all my fault.
She actually was enjoying herself with me until I lost control like an idiot but when she moaned into my mouth.
I just lost it, just thinking about it is making my dick throb right now. I have already thought of 50 different ways I want to take her in my bed and I'm getting so frustrated that I can't live out my fantasies with her.
I can't even get her moan out of my head. I need to hear more of her sweet, soft, honey filled voice again. I want to show her I can please her not only sexually but physically and emotionally.
I'm willing to try to change my selfish ways to make her happy as long as she stays by my side.
For now I'll take a cold bath to release some sexual tension that has been building up and try to figure out how I'm going to tell Anya she will be going with Rogan for a month. I have a feeling this is only going to push her further away from me.
I groaned wishing I didn't have to do this but if I don't then a lot of senseless deaths will acure and it's bad enough my people don't trust me as it is.
I sighed once again, I'll figure something out I always do.