Talking to a friend

My mind is all over the place, so this isn't word for word and pieces of context are missing, I'm writing this to remember, so if I ever forget I can find some comfort in the facts and in my friends.

I almost didn't want to call since I was crying, though I figured he'd be working anyway. He answered mid ring. 

"Hey, you in the car? Heading to work or from work?"

"To work, but I got time, what's up, you called me,"

"U-I was thinking about mom and I needed to talk to someone,"

"How can there be no pain when you die? They said it was instantaneous, but I could see her bruises when she was," I couldn't finish the words. 

"So what brought this on?"

"I don't know, I-I was listening to 'Red like Roses,' it's about a mom and her daughter. Her mom's dead."

"What it means by instantaneous is that those bodily functions where severed that could feel pain, the body will bruise, that's what happens, but those functions for her to feel the pain were severed before she could feel it,"

"thank you. I'm a mess,"

"I don't expect you to be okay. It's alright to not be happy all the time. It's okay to grieve. it's healthy. The only time when it isn't is if it consumes you. Feel sad for your mom, or anyone for that matter.

"Thank you. It's the facts that get stuck in my head and your factual and I need that."

the words that are hard to speak

are the ones that need to be heard

It may not feel right

not right to share or the right time,

but it'll never will

The words that are hard to speak

are the ones that need to be spoken

either by your voice to say them, or another to help you get through this.

7.20.2020